3 Straight by the Rules (2 page)

“I’ll be happy to send you some,” she said.

I regarded her warily.  “In exchange for what?”

She lifted her eyebrows in surprise.  “In exchange for nothing.  I like to keep my employees happy.”

Yeah, right.  We both knew nothing in Hell was free, and that Helen loved it when her employees were miserable, not happy.

“Never mind,” I told her.

Her smile was sly.  “It’s only tea, not a way to escape being hanged as a witch.”  The hanging was what my great-great-great-great-great grandmother had traded to the Devil in return for her soul and the souls of all her female progeny.  “Tea doesn’t require a contract with the Devil.”

I didn’t believe her for a second.

Helen made a notation in her day planner.  “I’ll send Delilah out for some later on today.  And speaking of Delilah… ” she leaned back in her chair “…let me guess.  You’re here because my new assistant once again ruined your assignment?”

I shrugged.  “Not on purpose.”

I’d expected my boss to go into a demon-powered rage, but she didn’t.  “Delilah is taking longer than I thought to get up to speed on the job.  I may have to reassign her.”  Miss Spry tugged thoughtfully on her pearls.  “Perhaps she’d do better in maintenance.  They’re always recruiting help.  After all, those torture chambers can get very messy.”

I blanched.  Delilah was a prickly person, but cleaning bodily fluids from the insides of iron maidens was a harsh punishment.   “All she needs is a little training.  Maybe you could bring Patrick back to help,” I suggested.  A few weeks ago, I’d been furious at Mr. Clerk because I’d discovered some of the dirty things he’d done to me, but now I missed him.  I hated watching Real Housewives by myself.  Plus, I’d bought a new dress that I was dying to ask his opinion about.  For the past seven months, Patrick Clerk had been the closest thing I’d had to a girlfriend.  Which was pathetic since, during that time, he’d tried to kill me.  Twice.

Miss Spry’s lips twitched.  “I doubt Patrick will be returning.”

That sounded ominous.  Since learning of his disappearance, I’d feared the worst.  I’d been making discreet inquiries about his whereabouts, but to no avail.  The only thing I knew for sure was that he hadn’t been lost in the wager Miss Spry had made with God earlier in the summer.  I, personally, had made sure she won.

Which reminded me.  “What did you win in your bet against God, anyway?”

Her eyes sparkled, and she pointed to a side table next to her couch.  Sitting under a glass dome was a brown lump.  “Isn’t it wonderful?”

It looked like a woodchip that had been stolen from someone’s flower garden.  “Sure, I guess.  What is it?”

“It’s a piece of the true cross.  A holy icon here in Hell!”  She smiled at it lovingly.  “The irony is so delicious.  It reminds me of the best three days of my life.”

I didn’t remember a lot from Catholic school, but I knew that story well enough.  “Weren’t those the days when all hope on Earth died?”

“Exactly.”  Her smile widened, making me shudder.

She turned her attention back to me.  “Now, as far as your assignments go, do the best you can.  Delilah is still on probation, but if she errs again, let me know.”

I nodded but decided I would
not
rat out Helen’s assistant.  The visual of poor Delilah cleaning up after the torturers was too much to stomach.

Figuring our meeting was over, I drained the rest of my tea and stood.  Helen stopped me.  “I’m glad you showed up today because I have something we need to discuss.  Girl to girl.”

I tensed.  There was nothing remotely girlish about Helen Spry.  “What is it?”

She pushed several pamphlets across the desk.  “I want you to read these, choose one, and make an appointment.  I’ll cover all of the costs, of course.”

I sat down and hesitantly picked up the first brochure which displayed a full-color photograph of a sleeping baby and the caption, “Your Family.  Your Choice.”  I frowned and opened it.  The first paragraph to catch my eye began, “Now that you’ve decided to experience intrauterine insemination…”

Intrauterine insemination?  What the hell?  The next paragraph answered my question.  My jaw dropped, and I met Miss Spry’s cruel smile.  “You want me to get
pregnant
?”

“It’s written in your contract, my dear.  One generation must follow another in service.”

“You say that about everything!” I argued.  Helen loved to quote my contract, but I’d never read it myself.  Half the time, I felt that she was making up the rules as she went along.

She gave me a wicked smile and waved her hand.  An immense book dropped from the ceiling and fell on her desk with a bang and a cloud of dust.  She flipped through several pages.  “It’s right here in black and white.  See for yourself.”

I took the magnifying glass she handed me and bent over the massive tome.  Sure enough, I read: “If, at any time, a descendent of Sarah Goodswain fails to produce progeny, or if a descendent is unable to serve for any reason (e.g. death), the Devil shall use any means necessary to reinstate the line.”

“Since you won freedom for your sweet, little Grace, you are obligated to have another daughter.  After all, someone must follow you in the family business.”  She spoke casually, as if we were back to discussing tea.

My mouth was paper dry.  “No.”

Her lips twitched.  “What?”

I would
not
bring a child into the world for the sole purpose of being Helen Spry’s slave.  My voice grew firmer.  “No.”  I shoved the brochure across her desk.  “I will
not
do it.”

“Do you think you’re the first woman in Sarah Goodswain’s line who has tried to thwart me like this?”  There was not a speck of mercy in her eyes.  “I will give you the same choice I gave your mother when
she
refused to get pregnant.  You either find a way to get yourself with child, or I will see that you do.  I am happy to provide a civilized solution, but I
will
take harsher measures if necessary.  And believe me, my way will not be pleasant.”

I knew my mother had been ordered to become pregnant with me, but I’d thought she’d done it willingly.  But what if she hadn’t?  Dark thoughts crept into my mind.  If Helen wanted me pregnant, she would know men who were willing to do the deed.  With or without my consent.

She leaned back in her chair, her fingers steepled under her chin.  “Why must you fight your destiny so hard?”

I stared woodenly at the picture of the baby on the brochure.  “Leading innocent souls into Hell makes me sick.”  This was the literal truth.  Since becoming a succubus, I’d suffered more sleepless nights and upset stomachs than I had at any other time in my life, including the months I’d been embroiled in my divorce.

Helen laughed.  “Innocent souls?  Did I just hear you say
innocent
souls?  What makes you think any of those are innocent?”

“Okay, so maybe they’re not innocent,” I amended, “but they’re not monsters, either.  They don’t deserve Hell.”

A mocking smile tugged at her lips.  “So those men who kidnapped you at gunpoint a few weeks ago…they don’t deserve to be punished?”

“Well, yes, they do deserve to be punished,” I admitted, “but…”

“But what?  Do you want to overlook bad behavior?  Let every offender get off Scott free?”

“No, of course not…”

She raised her eyebrows.  “So what’s your objection?”

Miss Spry’s logic always twisted my brain.  As I struggled to come up with a good rebuttal, she asked, “Did you think the names I give you were picked at random?”

I had, actually.

She smiled grimly.  “Those names are given to you for a reason.  If a human is being tempted, it’s because he deserves it.  Heaven delivers rewards, and Hell delivers punishment.  You may not like your job, but I assure you, it’s necessary.”

She was a liar, but a good one.  I sensed there were flaws in her arguments, but I was too overwhelmed by her order to get pregnant to refute them.

“Now, I’ll give you some time to decide how you want to proceed with your insemination.  But if you continue to stall, we’ll do things my way.”

In the short time I’d known her, Helen Spry had threatened my family, stolen my daughter, and nearly killed me.  She’d spent the last nine months terrifying me, and as a result, I’d caved in to her demands over and over again.  But like I’d promised Patrick Clerk, I was done being Helen’s toy.  I’d won a reprieve for my daughter.  I’d win this battle, too.

Feeling far less brave than I sounded, I lifted my chin and said, “I will not get pregnant for you.  
Helen
.”

I’d never before used her first name to her face, and she blinked.  “So it’s Helen now is it?”

“Yes.”

She smiled nastily.  “Feeling powerful are we?”

It’s a good thing I was sitting down because I’d started to shake.  I gripped the arms of the chair with sweating hands.

She came around to my side of the desk and sat on it.  “Before you do something you’ll regret, let me give you some advice.  I’ve seen seven generations of your ancestors pass through my office.  At one time or another, each of them tried to grow a spine and defy me.  When that happened, do you know what I told them?”

My mouth was too dry for me to speak, so I shook my head.

“I reminded them that I owned them body and soul.”  As Helen became more and more angry, the 40’s era glamour disappeared.  Her demon took over, and her eyes grew hot.  “I can do with you whatever I want.  I can hurt you in ways you could never imagine.  I can drag you to levels of Hell so terrible that a rational woman would go insane simply hearing about them.”

I began to sweat at my hairline.  A trickle of moisture ran from my temple.

“I know more tortures than any other creature in the human universe, and I show no mercy.  Try to cross me, and I will instantly have you cursing your own name.”  Her neck stretched, becoming long and sinewy like a snake, and she put her face very near to mine.  “Do you understand?”

It was all I could do to look at her terrible face.  “Perfectly.  Helen.”  I squeezed my eyes shut and braced myself, trying to prepare for whatever she sent at me.

She laughed.  “Oh, Lilith.  You do amuse me,  you poor, pathetic creature.”

I opened one eye, and when I saw that she no longer appeared monstrous, I opened the other one as well.  She put the brochures back into her desk drawer.  “I’ll give you some time to make a decision,” she said.  “But don’t take too long.”

I hadn’t bested Helen – I certainly hadn’t expected to – but I’d held a measure of ground against her.  That tiny victory had to count for something.

When I left Helen’s office, I found William Darcy sitting on the corner of Delilah’s desk.

William, my incubus counterpart, was as seductive as only a demon could be.  Dark hair, dark eyes, strong chin, broad shoulders – these were only a few of his alluring features.  Most of his charms had to do with his incubus.  Because of his demon, William could play to every fantasy.  Over the time I’d known him, I’d seen him act strong and silent; dark and brooding; humble and helpless.  The man had literally seduced angels out of Heaven.

Seeing my ashen complexion, William said, “It looks like someone was taken to the woodshed.”  His tone was jocular, but his eyes expressed concern.  “Are you alright?”

“Helen and I had a little disagreement, that’s all.”  I forced myself to smile.

William quirked his eyebrow at my use of Miss Spry’s first name, but said nothing.

Deciding the drama was over, Delilah turned her attention back to William and said, “Don’t you have somewhere to be right now?”