An Adrien English Mystery: The Dark Tide (2 page)

“Riordan,” Jake managed in a voice like raked gravel.

“Uh…hey.”

“Hey.” I could feel him making the effort to push through the fog of sleep. He rasped,

“How are you?”

Pretty civil given the fact that I hadn't spoken to him for nearly two weeks and was choosing three in the morning to reopen the lines of communication.

I found myself instinctively straining to hear the silence behind him; was someone there with him? I couldn't hear over the rustle of bed linens.

“I'm okay. Something happened just now. I think someone tried to break in.”

“You
think
?” And he was completely alert. I could hear the covers tossed back, the squeak of bedsprings.

“Someone did try to break in. He took off, but—”

“You're back at the bookstore?”

“Yeah. I got home late this afternoon.”

“You're there alone?”

Thank God he didn't say it like everyone else had.
Alone?
As though it was out of the question. As though I was far too ill and helpless to be left to my own devices. Jake simply looked at it from a security perspective.

“Yeah.”

“Did the security alarm go off?”

“No.”

“Did you call it in?”

“I called nine-one-one. They put me on hold.”

“At three o'clock in the morning?” He was definitely on his feet and moving, dressing, it sounded like, and I felt a wave of guilty relief. Regardless of how complicated our relationship was—and it was pretty complicated—there was no one I knew who was better at dealing with this kind of thing. Whatever this kind of thing was.

Which I guessed said more than I realized right there.

4

Josh Lanyon

Jake's voice was crisp. “Hang up and call nine-one-one again. Stay on the line with them.

I'll be there in ten minutes.”

I said gruffly, “Thanks, Jake.”

Just like that. I had called, and he was coming to the rescue. Unexpectedly, a wave of emotion—reaction—hit me. One of the weird aftereffects of my surgery. I struggled with it as he said, “I'm on my way,” and disconnected.

* * * * *

I went down to meet him, taking the stairs slowly, taking my time. From above, I had a bird's-eye view of the book floor. The register looked undisturbed. I could see where the bargain-book table had been toppled. Otherwise everything looked pretty much as normal: same comfortable leather club chairs, same wooden fake fireplace, same tall matching walnut bookshelves—strictly mystery and crime novels—same secretive smiles on the pale faces of the Kabuki masks on the back wall.

I unlocked the door, pushed open the security gate, which he'd knelt to examine. “You didn't have to come down. I'd have gone around to the s—” Jake broke off. He rose and said oddly, “Déjà vu.”

I didn't get it for a second, and then I did. Echoes of the first time we'd met; although
met
was kind of a polite word for turning up as a suspect in someone's murder investigation.

Uncombed, unshaven, I was even dressed the same: jeans and bare feet. I'd thrown a leather jacket on partly because, despite the warmth of a July night, I felt chilled, and partly because I didn't want to treat him to the vision of the seam down the middle of my chest from open heart surgery. Not that Jake hadn't seen it when he visited me in the hospital, but it looked different out of context. The bullet hole in my shoulder was ugly enough; the incision from the base of my collarbone down through my breastbone was shocking. I found it shocking, anyway.

I said awkwardly, “Thanks again for coming.”

He nodded.

We stared at each other. These last weeks couldn't have been easy on Jake, and not because I'd asked him to give me a little time, a little space before we tried to figure out where we stood.

He'd resigned from LAPD, come out to his family, and asked his wife for a divorce. But he looked unchanged. Reassuringly unchanged. I think I'd feared… Well, I'm not sure. That he'd be harrowed by regret. For his entire adult life he'd fought to defend that closet he inhabited. Been willing to sacrifice almost everything to protect it. I couldn't help thinking he'd take to being out like a fish to desert sand.

He looked okay. No, be honest. He looked a lot better than okay. He looked…fine.
Fine
, as in get the Chiffons over here to sing a chorus. Big, blond, ruggedly handsome in a trial-by-fire way. He was very lean, all hard muscle and powerful bone. Maybe there was more silver at his temples, but there was a calm in his tawny eyes that I'd never seen before.

Under that light, steady gaze I felt unnervingly self-conscious. It was weird to think that for the first time in all the time I'd known him there was nothing to keep us from being together except the question of whether we both really wanted it.

He asked matter-of-factly, “Why didn't the alarm go off?”

“It wasn't set.”

An Adrien English Mystery: The Dark Tide

5

A quick drawing of his dark brows. He opened his mouth. I beat him to it. “We haven't been setting it while the construction has been going on next door.”

“Tell me you're kidding.”

He already knew I wasn't. “The city threatened to fine me because we had too many false alarms. The construction crew usually arrives before we open the shop, and they kept triggering it. So I thought…until the construction was completed…”

His silence said it all—good thing, because I was pretty sure if Jake got started, we'd be there all night.

“I think he must have come in from the side.” I turned to lead the way.

He followed me across the front of the tall aisles. I pointed out where an endcap had been knocked over. “Only the emergency lights were on, and he crashed into that.” I nodded to the fallen bargain table, the landslide of spilled books. “And there.”

We reached the clear plastic wall dividing Cloak and Dagger Books from the gutted other half of the building. Staring from one side to the other was like peering through murky water. I could barely make out the ladders and scaffolds like the ribs of a mythological beast. I directed Jake's attention to the long five-foot slit through the plastic near the wall.

“Good call.” He sounded grim.

I'd have happily been wrong. “The contractor told me that that side of the building would be secured with special locks. Construction locks.”

He was already shaking his head. “Look at this.” He stooped, pushing through the slit in the plastic, and I followed him into the darkened other side of the building. It smelled chilly and weird on that side. A mixture of fresh plaster, new wood, and dust. We picked our way through the hurdles of drop cloths and wooden horses and cement mixers to the door on the far wall. It swung open at his touch.

“Great,” I said bitterly.

“Yep.” He showed me the core in the center of the exterior handle. I discerned that it was painted, though I couldn't make out a color. “See that?”

I nodded.

“It's a construction core. That's a temporary lock used by contractors on construction sites.

They're all combinated the same, or mostly the same, which means that if someone gets hold of a key, they've got a key to pretty much every construction core in the city.”

“Better and better.”

He shut the door and relocked it. “As security goes, this is one step above leaving the door standing wide open.”

I swallowed. Nodded.

“Whoever broke in may have been watching the place and knew no one's been here at night.”

I said, “It doesn't look like they touched the register.”

“It might have been kids prowling around.” Jake didn't sound convinced, and I knew why.

“Trying to break in to my flat was—”

6

Josh Lanyon

“Pretty aggressive,” he agreed. “Again, I think that probably gets back to the mistaken belief that no one was home. No one has been staying here at night for three weeks, right? So it was a reasonable assumption.”

I absorbed that. “This might not have been the first time he was prowling around in here.”

“True.”

“I don't know that Natalie would notice the slice in the plastic wall. Hell, if Warren were hanging around, I don't know if she'd notice the Tasmanian Devil bursting through.”

Sort of unfair to Natalie; Jake snorted, grimly amused.

All at once I was exhausted. Mentally and physically and emotionally drained dry. I didn't seem to have much in the way of physical resources these days, and this break-in felt like way more than I could begin to handle.

Jake opened his mouth but stopped. Through the dirty glass of the bay window, we watched a squad car pull up, lights flashing, though there was no siren.

Better late than never, I guessed.

After a second or two, Jake looked at me. “You okay? You're shaking.”

“Adrenaline.”

“And heart surgery.” He glanced back at the black-and-white. Drew a deep breath. “Why don't you head upstairs? I'll take care of this.”

There it was again. That weird new emotionalism. The smallest things seemed to choke me up. Like this. Jake offering to talk to the cops for me.

Except this wasn't a small thing. Jake, who had hid his sexuality from his brother officers for nearly twenty years, who had been unwilling for people to even know we were friends, who had very nearly succumbed to blackmail and more to keep that secret, was offering to stand here in my place and talk to these cops—and let them think whatever they chose to about us and our relationship.

I'm not sure what was stranger: the fact that he was making the offer or that I was ready to start crying over it.

“I can handle it.”

He met my gaze. “I know you can. I'd like to do this for you.”

Hell
. He did it again. It had to be that I was overtired and still shaken by the break-in. I worked to keep my face and voice from showing anything I was feeling, managing a brusque nod.

The cops, a man and a woman in uniform, were getting out of their car. I turned and started back through ladders and wooden horses and scaffolds.

* * * * *

I was sitting on the sofa sleeping with the cat on my lap when Jake let himself into the flat.

I must have been snoring, because the
snick
of the door shutting seemed to come like a clap of thunder in the wake of a windstorm. The cat sprang from my lap. I sat up, closed my mouth, wiped my eyes, and when I blearily opened them, Jake stood over me, looking unfairly alert for four in the morning.

“Was that a cat I saw running into your bedroom?”

An Adrien English Mystery: The Dark Tide

7

I cleared my throat. “Was it?”

“It looked like it.” He sat down on the sofa next to me—all that size and heat and energy—

and every muscle in my body immediately clenched tight in nervous reaction. I didn't feel ready for…whatever this was liable to be.

I said lightly, “Maybe the building is haunted.”

“Could be.” He seemed to study my face with unusual attention. “Your burglary complaint is filed. Tomorrow, first thing, you need to tell that contractor to get real locks on those doors. In fact, I'd advise you to change all the locks on both sides of the building.”

I nodded wearily. “I've been trying to think what he was after.”

“The usual things.”

“Then why not break in to the cash register?”

“An empty cash register? Why?”

Good point. No point robbing the till after the day's bank drop had been made. I must be more tired than I thought. Maybe Jake had the same idea, because he said, “I thought you'd be in bed by now.”

“I'm on my way. But I wanted to thank you…”

He said gravely, “Don't mention it. I'm glad you called me. I've been wondering how you're doing.”

My gaze fell. “I'm all right.” There was so much to say, and yet I couldn't seem to think of anything. “I'm getting there. The worst part is being tired all the time.”

“Yeah.” I could feel him watching me—seeing right through me.

“Jake…”

When I didn't continue, he said, “I know. I know it's a lot to ask. Probably too much, although I won't pretend I'm not hoping.”

Forgiveness. That's what he was talking about. Forgiveness for any number of things, I guessed. I was talking about something completely different.

I shook my head. “It isn't—I don't know how to explain this. It's not you, though. It's me.”

He waited with that new calm, that new certainty in his eyes. He was expecting me to drop the ax on him. I could see that. He had been expecting it since the last time we spoke in the hospital and I'd asked him to give me time. That's what he had expected when he answered my cry for help tonight—what he still expected—but he had come anyway.

Was that love or guilt or civic responsibility? He was the best friend I'd ever had—and the worst.

I said, “This isn't going to make sense to you, because it doesn't make sense to me. I know how lucky I am. I do. I know I'm getting a second chance, and even though I feel like utter
shit
, I know I'm getting well and I'm going to be okay. Better than okay. That's what my doctors keep telling me, and I know that I should be really happy and really relieved. But…I-I can't seem to feel anything right now.”

Nothing from Jake. Not that I blamed him. What was he supposed to make of that speech?

I concluded lamely, “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

“You feel what you feel. You're allowed.”

8

Josh Lanyon

It was getting harder to go on. I felt I had to be honest with him. “I was happy enough with Guy, but I don't want Guy. I don't want…anyone. Right now.”

There was another pause after he heard me out. He said, “Okay.”

It was that easy. I wasn't sure if what I felt was relief or disappointment.

I heard myself say, awkwardly, “I felt like I should—”

“Got it.” Was there an edge to his tone? He still looked calm. Actually, he looked concerned. He said, “Why don't you go to bed, Adrien? I've seen snowmen with more color in their faces. You need sleep. So do I. In fact, I'm going to spend what's left of the night on your couch.”