Anal Pleasure and Health: A Guide for Men, Women and Couples (47 page)

I found that gays, lesbians, and those raised as Catholics were the most inclined to be turned on by themes of violating prohibitions, presumably because all three groups had to contend with strong and consistent restrictions on their sexuality during the formative years when arousal patterns begin to take shape.

* The addiction potential of alcohol and benzos is obviously very real. But keep this in mind: The big problem is increasing the dosage as you adapt to the drug. Healthy users of these substances commonly stick to a steady dose. This way, the desired effect continues, but in a milder form. Unfortunately, many people are unable to make this choice.

* I suggest that you look over the list of drug-related websites I've included in the "References & Resources" section at the end of the book (before the Index). My brief descriptions should help guide you to the information most relevant for you.

Of the many books available for those considering or already exploring open (non-monogamous) relationships, I suggest Dossie Easton and Janet Hardys The Ethical Slut and Tristan Taormino's Opening Up.

* Joseph developed this training in conjunction with The Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco (www.iashs.edu). To learn more about the training and this special kind of bodywork, visit www.sexologicalbodywork.com.

* Readers who would like to learn more about sensual and erotic massage may enjoy watching one or more of the many DVDs now available, such as The joy of Erotic Massage. A wonderful online resource is www.eroticmass.ieg com, site of the New School of Erotic Touch (also started by Joseph Kramer). Here you'll find hundreds of lessons, many of them with video, taught by a wide variety of experts. For in-depth guidance on anal massage, I suggest the DVD Anal Massage for Lovers.

* All sexually active people should get the Hepatitis A vaccine, usually given in two doses. Getting the Hepatitis B vaccine is a good idea too (although Hep B is not transmitted via rimming). There is now a vaccine available for both types. A helpful resource is www.vaccineinformation.org.

* A selection of dildos and harnesses can be found at most sex toy shops or on the websites listed in the "References & Resources" section under "Sex Toys and Supplies."

* It's not surprising that men who experience erection loss with condoms are less likely to use them, and more likely to take them off if they do (Graham, 2006).

* Although nonoxynol-9 kills sperm and HIV in the lab, its effectiveness in actual practice is in doubt. But worse, spermicides can causes irritation of vaginal and anal tissues, which may create an entry point for HIV.

* For additional information about condom choices and safer sex, The Stop AIDS Project has an excellent caparison of condoms by type and even specific brands at www.stopaids.org.

* The useful metaphor that sexual attraction, in part, springs from the desire to import and/or export characteristics and qualities with the object of our desire is developed by C. A. Tripp (1987).

* See Thomas Moore's Dark Eros for a remarkable examination of the infamous Marquis de Sade and the healing power of "the shadow," our less civilized impulses that we tend to deny and suppress.

I recommend Pat Califia's Sensuous Magic, which offers wise insights and practical suggestions for couples who wish to experiment with SM. Different Loving (Brame & Brame) explores the gamut of unconventional sex related to dominance and submission. Mark Thompson's Leatherfolk brings together essays from a variety of authors about an amazing range of issues-slanted somewhat, but by no means exclusively, toward gay readers.

* The CDC analyzes trends in the epidemic and reports its findings in regular "Surveillance Reports" available on their website www.cdc.gov.

The WHO reports HIV/AIDS statistics worldwide and in specific countries, plus additional health information on their website www.who.int.

Stay up to date on the latest thinking and research by occasionally checking a reliable website, such as the San Francisco AIDS Foundation (www.sfaforg).

** The best sources I know of for accurate information on STDs and other sexual health concerns is the American Social Health Association (www.ashastd.org) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (www.cdc.gov/std).

* For an exploration of danger as an aphrodisiac, see my book, The Erotic Mind.

* Other members of the herpes family include Epstein-Barr, Varicella zoster (the cause of chicken pox in children and shingles in adults), and CMV (cytomegalovirus, the cause of "mono").

* I also recommend Charles Ebel's book, Managing Herpes (2007).

* The American Social Health Association created the HPV and Cervical Cancer Prevention Resource Center to support research and provide information, as well as a network of support groups for people with HPV (www.ashastd.org/hP-V).

* The Stanford Protocol for treating chronic pelvic pain is described in Wise and Anderson's book, A Headache in the Pelvis (2008, 5th Ed). This a detailed but difficult read. An easier place to start is Amy Stein's Heal Pelvic Pain (2009), an excellent overview with clear treatment guidelines.

They're all described concisely in The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook by Davis et al (6th Ed, 2008).

** Bob Anderson's updated classic, Stretching (2000, 20th anniversary edition) has clear explanations and drawings covering every part of the body. A DVD by the same name is also available.