Black Girls and Bad Boys: Changing his Tune (8 page)

“Good weird?”

“You heard them cheering. You must know how good you were.”

“But I want to know what
you
thought.”

“I thought you were amazing. How do you do it? Get up there in front
of all those people?”

“This is the place.” John pointed at a brightly-coloured burger
joint up on the right.

“When I first started out, I used to hate it.”

Everyone trooped inside and lined up at the counter. “Really?” He’d
looked so comfortable on stage.

“Yeah. I thought everyone was judging me and waiting for me to make
a mistake. I used to just keep my head down and get through the set as quickly
as possible.”

They gave their orders and stood over to the side out of the way.
“So what changed?” I mean, you put on a hell of a show. You don’t look like you
hate it.”

“I just realised that the audience isn’t my enemy. People don’t go
to gigs to hate the band.”

“I suppose not.”

The food arrived and they picked up their paper bags.

“I’m feeling restless. Do you want to come for a walk?”

She looked over at John and the band. What would they think if she
disappeared with Noah?

“Come on, I’d usually be drinking myself stupid about now. I could
do with the distraction.”

It
was
part of her job. But it didn’t feel like work. It felt
worryingly like a date. “Okay.” What else could she say?

“Great. John, we’re going for a walk. See you back at the bus.”

John waved a hand in their direction. “See you later.” He quickly
turned back to his conversation. It didn’t look like the others were in any
hurry to leave – they’d grabbed a table and were busy shovelling down French
fries.

She followed Noah’s lead, feeling increasingly like she was being
taken on her first trip to Lover’s Lane.

***

W
hen he first thought of inviting her for a walk, Noah had tried to
tell himself it was a purely platonic thing. Angie was the person he got along
with best these days – it was only natural for him to want to spend some time
with her one-to-one. But ever since she’d kissed his cheek in the dressing room,
he’d been thinking of the other kiss they’d almost shared.

Knowing that she was out there watching was the main thing that had
got him through his first gig in so many months. She was who he wanted to see
when he got off stage. She was the one whose opinion he wanted to hear.

It wasn’t just a friendship any more.

So he’d made some arrangements and asked her to come on this walk.
Now they were strolling along a hillside path in the failing sunshine and he
was racking his brains for something intelligent to say. Why the hell was he so
tongue-tied?

“Did you have somewhere in mind, or are we looking for somewhere?”

“Hmm?”

Angie held up her bag from the fast food place. “I don’t want a cold
burger.”

“No. It’s up here.” The path got steeper and he offered her his
hand. He had a sudden panic that the clearing he remembered wasn’t there any
more – it was years since he’d visited that part of the country – but the way
through the trees widened out and the ground levelled off. The wooden barrier
at the edge of the hill looked new. He led her over to look at the view.

“I think the club’s over that way.” He pointed off to the far right,
but she was too busy looking at the sea stretching out directly in front of
them.

“It’s lovely here. I’ve never been before.”

“Mum and Dad used to bring us here every summer.”

She turned to him, a smile lighting her eyes. When she was happy, it
transformed her. It was as if you could see the contentment shining out from
inside.

“What?”

“That’s the first time you’ve mentioned your family.”

“No it isn’t.”

She nodded. “I didn’t even know you had brothers and sisters.”

“Just a brother.” Surely he’d mentioned him?

“Younger or older?”

“Younger.” He moved closer to her, worrying all the time that he’d
spook her and she’d move away.

She stood her ground. “What’s his—”

He silenced her with a kiss, pressing his lips to hers the way he’d
wanted to pretty much ever since he’d clapped eyes on her. She stiffened in his
arms. Had he misjudged the signals?

A couple of heartbeats passed and she melted into him. She kissed
him back and the hope he’d been guarding came to full bloom. She wanted him
too.

He kissed her harder, wrapping her in his arms. Her perfume was
everywhere – an intoxicating note that floated over the top of the sea breeze.
Her lips were even softer than he’d imagined. They kissed and kissed, her ripe
body pressing urgently against his lean frame.

All his worries had been for nothing. She kissed him eagerly, groans
of pleasure sounding in her throat as she opened her lips to him.

Her hand came up between them, pushing against his chest. He
stopped. His fast-beating heart laboured even faster. “Are you okay? I didn’t
mean to—”

She put a finger to his lips. “I’m fine.”

He’d been afraid she’d never reach a place where she could let him
hold her. Now it was happening, the fear still wouldn’t leave him. The moment
was so fragile. He had to move at her pace, or risk chasing her away.

But he needed her. He bent to kiss her again, barely brushing his
lips over hers. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he looked into her eyes. There
was fear there to match his own. “I want to make love to you.”

It seemed that she blinked in slow motion. He held his breath,
waiting for her to crush him with rejection. He couldn’t have left it unsaid.

“I want that too,” she whispered.

––––––––

A
ngelique followed him in a daze, not thinking to ask where they
were going. He knew the way. That was all that mattered. They went higher along
the path where the greenery grew denser, holding hands like teenagers. Their
food dangled from their free hands, growing rapidly colder.

The way ahead opened out onto a road and they crossed over.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I booked us a room.” He led her along
the pavement and through a gate.

She was supposed to mind. She knew she should complain that he was
being presumptuous. But she didn’t care. She wanted him to take her to that
room and lay her down for the night.

Twilight had fallen, blanketing the houses with a touch of magic.
Hand in hand, they walked up the path to a cottage with a thatched roof and
roses in the front garden. It looked too perfect to be real.

The woman who opened the door was about their age. She signed them
in before taking them up to the room. It was just as well Noah dealt with
everything – she wasn’t sure if she would have been able to speak.

And then they were alone in the bedroom together.

He took the bag of food from her hand and put it on the dressing
table next to his. It was dark outside now and he closed the curtains. He
kicked off his boots and walked back to her side of the bed.

They stared at each other, both of them nervous, both of them
unsure.

Were they on the verge of an enormous mistake?

“Hey.” He took her hand and it felt fine. It felt better than fine.

What was he waiting for? And then she realised. He was giving her
the chance to change her mind.

He came a little closer and she brushed his hair back over his
shoulders, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. She’d missed that smell. It
was a good job she didn’t know what brand he used – she probably would have
sunk to keeping a bottle in her bathroom so she could sniff it.

He held her lightly at the waist.

“I won’t break,” she told him.

He kissed her then and her eyes rolled shut. She threw her arms
around him and kissed him back. Her softness yielded to his hard body. He was
so tall. She’d never been with a man in such good shape. It made her worry what
he would think of her body.

When he slid his hands under the hem of her blouse, worry turned to
panic. “Can we turn the light off?”

He sat down on the bed and drew her down to sit beside him. “If you
want to. But I’d like to see you.”

Maybe he thought he did, but he’d soon change his mind when he
caught sight of her stretch-marks and sagging tummy. “It... It feels weird with
the light on.”

He went to the door and turned off the light. He came back to the
bed slowly, feeling his way in the dark.

“Thank you,” she whispered as he stroked her cheek.

“You’re beautiful, Angie. You don’t have to hide.”

She wished it was true. “I haven’t done anything like this in a long
time.” Now the moment had arrived, she found herself fighting the urge to
leave.

He kissed her temple and put his lips close to her ear. “Nor have
I.” Pulling her down onto the bed, he kissed her till her fears receded.

They lay face to face, his hand went back to the gap between her
blouse and skirt. She held her stomach in as he stroked her skin, but then his
kisses grew more intense and she lost control.

She swooned in his arms, loving every touch of his lips and his
fingers. Desire overcame her. She moaned into his mouth and grabbed at his
t-shirt, twisting it in her fists.

She wanted him naked. She wanted to feel his flesh and hair beneath
her hands. Part of her wished he’d ignored her and left the light on – she
wanted to see his body. His chest felt firm and muscular, but she’d never seen
it.

The fog of lust lifted long enough for her to tug his t-shirt
upwards. He got the message and rolled away from her to pull it off. Then his
hands were at her waistline, lifting her blouse up and away from her body. She
sat up and raised her arms so he could take it off.

Her eyes had grown used to the dark. She could make out his features
and the sprinkling of hair on his chest. How much of her could he see? She
tried not to think about it and leaned in for another of those delicious
kisses. Her mind wandered to the guys back at the bus, but then Noah’s hands
were on her back and she couldn’t think of anything but him.

He pulled her close, his tongue playing over hers. She ran her
fingers over his shoulders and down his back, reaching in between their bodies
to stroke the backs of her hands over his flat stomach.

He kissed his way across her cheek and down to her throat, making
her gasp. “I love your body,” she told him while she still had the ability to speak.
But in her head, she cropped the sentence short.
I love you.
The three
words she couldn’t say.

“I love yours. You’re so soft and juicy.”

He meant fat, but it was nice of him to frame it the way he did.
Wesley had never bothered trying to sugar-coat it.

Kneeling up on the bed, he kissed her down onto her back and
straddled her. His hands ran all the way around her waistband, searching for a
way in. He found the zip at the side and pulled it down, slipping her skirt
over her hips and thighs, kissing the flesh he exposed as he went.

She trembled all over, excited and apprehensive all at the same
time. With her skirt gone, he stood up to remove his own clothes. And then he
was on top of her, his erection crushed between them. This was so much more
than a kiss or a caress. Her pulse raced. She fought to keep her breathing
steady but it felt as if her lungs were empty.

Noah rolled over to the side. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No. No, please don’t.” She rolled towards him and put his hand on
her waist. Bringing her lips to his, she forced the anxiety down and smothered
it with kisses. She wanted him and she wasn’t going to let her history get in
the way.

He kissed her tenderly, easing off on the heat for a few moments.
She knew he was trying not to overwhelm her, but the fact that he had to think
about it was like a third person in the room. They were in bed together with
barely any clothes between them – he shouldn’t have to worry about taking
things slowly.

She broke off the kiss.

“What’s the matter?”

“Why are you here, with me? You could have your pick of women. There
were plenty at the gig tonight who would have jumped at the chance.” She sat
up. Why was she so intent on ruining this?
Because he deserved someone
normal. Someone without all her baggage.

He reached for her hand and she let him take it.

“Angie, you know how I feel about you.”

“No I don’t. You’ve never said anything to me.”

“I want you. Not some silly girl in the audience. I want the woman
who knows me better than anyone else.”

“Why? Why do you want me? I’m an alcoholic—”

“I’m an alcoholic.”

“Yeah, but look at you. You’re a fucking rock god and I’m just...” She
didn’t even know how to finish that sentence.

He tried to draw her towards him, but she refused to move.

“Come here.”

There was only so long she could fight him. She let him pull her
down to lie beside him. He rolled her onto her side and snuggled up behind her.
All the reasons why this was a bad idea were dwarfed by the feel of his body
tucked in close to hers.

He kissed her shoulder. “I’m not going to pry into what’s happened
to you in the past, but you’ve been through some bad shit, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When you’re ready to talk, I’ll still be here.” He tightened his
hold on her and she put her hands over his.

“I wish you knew how beautiful you were.”

Hearing him say that brought tears to her eyes. If only it were
true.

“I missed you so much when you left. I don’t want to ruin things
between us. If you don’t want us to be more than friends—”

“I do. But...”
But I don’t understand why you do.

“Angie. I want us to be together. You set the pace. I’m not going to
rush you into anything.”

They lay in the dark for a while. She rehearsed all the things she
wanted to say in her head, but she couldn’t make herself tell him any of them.
Perhaps words weren’t the answer.

He wanted her. She hadn’t quite got used to the idea, but it was
clearly the truth. And she wanted him.

So what was she waiting for?

Rolling over to face him, she reached behind herself and unfastened
her bra. She took it off and threw it on the floor. She wriggled in closer to
him and met his eye before she took a kiss. It felt good with him.

The kiss deepened along with their breathing and his hands went to
her ass, pulling her in to press against his stiffening manhood. He pulled down
her panties and her own moisture smeared her thighs.

“I wanted to make this last,” he gasped. “But I think I’ll explode
if I don’t get inside you.” He pushed her over onto her back, spreading her
legs with his knees as he ripped open a condom and slid it down over his
length.

Their eyes met for an instant, and then he was plunging deep inside
her. They both cried out. She took hold of his waist, urging him further in.
She wanted to feel every inch of him. To hold every moment of their time
together firmly in her mind.

Leaning down, he took her breast in his mouth and thrust hard into
her. Her legs fell wider apart and she drank in every sensation – the tickle of
his hair on her chest, the clench of his muscles under her hands, the friction
as he pulled in and out of her.

He built up speed, ramming her harder and harder until their voices
rose together. Reaching for her hands, he twined his fingers with hers and
thrust her up the bed. Her head reached the wall, but she didn’t want him to
stop. His member filled her up, fuelling a glorious tension deep within her.
She raised her hips with each stroke, bumping her clit into his pelvis, taking
step after step towards her climax.

His movements grew more frantic and he let her nipple fall from his
mouth, concentrating everything he had on the point where their bodies locked
together. She’d forgotten that feeling of complete release. She gave herself up
to him and let the moment sweep over her. And then she was racing up into the
heights of orgasm, her body convulsing around him, her hands clasping him
tight.

She shook with pleasure, holding him loosely as he carried on in
search of his own peak. Sweat sprang up on her skin. She watched his face as he
pounded into her. His eyes were closed, his focus turned inward. She stroked her
hands over his buttocks, claiming ownership of him as he went rigid and came
with a stifled gasp.

He stopped breathing, holding himself over her as he came. His eyes
opened and found hers. Then he smiled and she smiled right back. He rolled off
her and raised her hand to his lips. “I’m sorry it was over so fast,” he said.
“You were just too sexy.”

She wasn’t sure what to think at first, but she returned his grin.
His body couldn’t lie.

***

T
he morning light shone through the flimsy curtains and pushed Noah
into wakefulness. He lay there with his eyes closed, gathering himself for the
day to come. And then he remembered who was lying beside him.

Opening his eyes, he turned to face her with a smile. She was
sleeping peacefully. Some people looked stern when they were asleep – their
natural expression had a formal quality that you wouldn’t expect. Angie wasn’t
one of those people. He knew it was corny, but her name fit her perfectly – she
looked like an angel at rest.

He looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was a lot earlier
than he would have liked. But that was probably a good thing considering the
bus was leaving at nine. John was going to rib him all day about this. He’d
spent so long trying to convince him nothing was going on and now everyone would
know they’d spent the night together.

Really, he should wake her up and maybe think about going down for
breakfast. He propped himself up on his elbow. She looked so relaxed. He didn’t
want to interrupt her sleep quite yet.

He didn’t know how much time passed, but as he lay there watching
her, she slowly opened her eyes and brought up her hand to cover a yawn.

“Good morning.” He kissed her gently, but it was enough to push all
thoughts of food from his mind.

“Good morning.” Her voice was low and husky. She pulled the sheet up
to cover her cleavage.

He thought of the way she’d asked him to turn off the light. One
day, he’d make her see that she had nothing to be self-conscious about.

“What time is it?”

He glanced at the clock. “About ten past seven.” His gaze went to
her gorgeous lips. She seemed to pout without even trying. He could spend all
day looking at her mouth. And kissing it, of course.

“What?”

“Nothing. I just like looking at you.”

She fussed with her hair and tugged at the sheet again.

He couldn’t stand it. Why couldn’t she take his word for it? She was
sexy as hell. Caution told him not to, but he took hold of the bedclothes and
tore them away from her.

“Noah!” Instantly, one arm went up to cover herself and the other
reached out for the covers.

“Let me see you.” Later, he found it hard to believe he’d done it,
but in the heat of the moment he grabbed both her wrists and kneeled over her,
pinning her to the bed.

As much as he wanted to, he didn’t look at her body. He looked her
in the eye and waited for her to understand that he wasn’t going to hurt her.
For a second or two, real fright flickered across her face and he wondered if
he’d gone too far. But gradually, she relaxed beneath him and returned his
gaze.

“I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.” He spoke softly,
trying to soothe her. “You’re beautiful, Angie.”