Blind Impulse (5 page)

“
Merciful saints forgive me.  I have condemned him to the same fate.”

Geoff quickly stepped forward, laying a gentle hand on her shoulder.  “Lady, ‘tis all right.”

She shook her head, her eyes wide
with fear.  “I thought this plague was over when I called him home
b
ut it has returned.  Two others knights who returned with Garin have the same symptoms.”

Alyna’s thoughts scrambled.  Her home, Salkeld Hall, was many days from Kirkoswald.  The fever h
ad not reached them so she had not seen its indications.  “Your excellency,” Alyna said.  “This fever could well be caused by his festering wound.”

“
Nay, he has the rash.  Soon, any light or loud noise will cause grievous headaches.  You two have not had t
his illness while I have recovered from it.  I want both of you to go to your rooms.  All those who have not had the fever are to be kept away from those who do.”

“
Your excellency, I vow that I cannot,” Alyna said urgently.  “I am a healer, I cannot turn m
y back on those who need me, especially Garin.”
She paused and drew a deep breath, taking Eleanor’s hand in hers. “Your excellency, listen to me. Garin’s fever is high but with the Willowbark tea and the decoctions it is managed. Feel his skin.”

Eleanor did so and her panicked expression eased slightly.

Garin stirred, turning toward her hand.

“You see,” Alyna continued. “He is responsive. Garin has just been terribly weakened from his time in the Holy Land. I have been giving him broth every two hours. All he needs is food and rest then his body will have the strength to fight this fever. I fear, if you allow the monk to tend to him, between the bleedings and purging, Garin might die.”

Eleanor stared at her son, tears in her eyes. Alyna held her breath, praying with all her heart. Unfortunately, the baroness shook her head.
“
You are my s
on’s betrothed,” Eleanor said, her voice thick
.  “And the future of this barony, if he survives.  I cannot endanger your life along with his.”

“
Eleanor,” Geoff said gently.

She rounded on him, her eyes sparkin
g furiously.  “You are a baronial knight,
S
ir, and I am still baroness here.  Obey my wishes at once and take your daughter your chambers.”

A muscle twitched in Geoff’s jaw.  He bowed curtly.  “As you wish, my baroness.”  He stepped away and grabbed Alyna’
s arm.

“
Father,” she protested.

“
Hush,” he hissed between clenched teeth.  “We must obey our baroness.” 

“Wait,” she said and knelt beside Garin. Tears pushed into her eyes as she took his hand and kissed his cheek. “Garin,” she whispered
, her lips brushing his skin
. “You must fight this. I don’t care what that monk does to you, you must fight harder than you ever did in the Holy Land.”

Garin groaned softly, murmuring her name.

“Forgive me,” she whispered and kissed his cheek again. She rose, allowing her father to lead her from the room. As the door closed behind her, her tears broke fr
ee and streamed down her face
.

****

The sennight dragged interminably for Alyna.  She remained with her father, her uncle and his family, as well as a few other people, in a large room located in the west wing of the castle. 

A servant brought food, leaving it at the door.  After he d
eparted, Geoff carried the food inside.  Many times, notes from the baroness accompanied the trays.  Alyna found herself at wits end to learn Garin’s condition worsened.

“
Father, we must convince her,” Alyna said urgently.  “I should not be locked away in
this room when I have devoted so many years of my life to healing.”

Geoff sighed, looking much older than his forty-three years.  “I know, Alyna, but I can think of nothing.  The baroness is right, your health needs to be guarded.”

“
My health will serve no
purpose if Garin dies.”

Geoff’s jaw tightened in anger but he said nothing more.

The sennight became a fortnight and finally, the baroness sent word to Alyna that the plague seemed to pass.  She called the family to an audience in the great hall.

Alyna’s
stomach twisted when she saw the baroness sitting in her chair, her feature’s terribly pale and her eyes grave.

“
Your excellency,” Alyna said and curtsied.

Eleanor inclined her head.  “Alyna, I pray you forgive me for these past days.  I did not wish to sh
ut you away like a prisoner but it has been most difficult to see this terrible curse steal the life of my husband and then ravage my son.”

Alyna paled, her hands quivering.  “Is he--”

“
Garin lives,” she replied
,
her voice soft with grief.  “His fever broke
a few days ago.  We waited, hoping to have better news.”

Alyna’s mouth went dry.  “What’s wrong?”

“
There can be no wedding now.”

“
Why?”  Alyna blurted, her heart hammering in her chest.  Her father moved beside her and gripped her shoulder.

The baroness s
ighed softly, tears coming to her eyes.  “Alyna,” she paused and glanced at Roger.  “The fever stole Garin’s sight.  We had hoped it would return but Brother Martin fears he will be permanently blind.”

Tears escaped and rolled down Alyna’s cheeks.  Her fat
her’s grip tightened on her shoulder.  She was both relieved and horrified.  Relieved that Garin lived, horrified that something so terrible could happen to such a valiant young man. 
She swallowed the hard lump in her throat.

“
May I see him?”

The baroness gazed at her with sad green eyes.  “I don’t think....”

“
Please, your excellency.”

“
All right.  I warn you, while the fever no longer plagues him, he is still disoriented and weak.
  Sometimes he knows his state and sometimes he does not.”  She stood and Alyna followed her.  As she passed Roger, Alyna saw his jaw set in a grim line.  Only one man in the room truly understood Garin’s loss.

Alyna fought to steady herself on the journey
to Garin’s room.  The baroness opened the door and spoke with someone inside.  Quietly she motioned Alyna to follow. 
“Loud noises make his head hurt,” the baroness whispered.

A small fire in the hearth cast an eerie dim glow in the room.  Alyna’s heart s
talled when she saw Garin in the bed.  The blankets covered him to the waist, his skin ashen and his face gaunt.  His hair was a tangled mess.  He stirred restlessly.  The slash across his chest remained a dark, angry line, but it appeared as if it was hea
ling without problem.  It would probably fade to a faint scar.

“
You may only stay a few moments.  He tires easily.”

“
I understand,” Alyna whispered.

The moment she spoke, Garin’s eyes flew open.  “That voice,” he said.  “I know that voice.  Alyna is that y
ou?  Mother?  Am I hallucinating again?”

Alyna almost choked.  “Nay, Garin,” she said and sat beside his bed.  She took his hand and gripped it tightly.  “I am here.”

“
Thank God.”  He returned her grip but Alyna felt the weakness still plaguing him.  He re
ached for her and Alyna guided his hand to her face, closing her eyes as he caressed her cheek.  “I don’t know why they insist on keeping it so dark in here, I can’t even see you.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks.

“
Alyna, my sweet, please don’t cry.  I will
be better soon.”

She swallowed again.  She would not...could not break his heart.  His blue eyes were still clear and beautiful but they did not focus on her.  “Of course,” she said and forced herself to smile.  “It just hurts me to see you ill.”

“
It take
a lot more than a fever to put me down.”  His fingers tightened on her face.  “Good Lord, I want to see you.  Mother, light a lamp please.”

“
Nay,” Alyna said quickly and leaned closer.  “The light will hurt your eyes, Garin.”

He inhaled deeply, his fingers
moving to her hair.  “Glory,” he whispered so only she could hear.  “You smell wonderful.  Like a field of lavender in springtime.”

A shudder possessed the very core of her being.  She knew she was on the verge of breaking, of completely losing control. 
What could she do?  What should she say?  His fingers continued to weave through her hair and she spotted the bandages on his arms.  She scowled, looking at them closely, then her eyes widened in horror.

“
Garin,” Eleanor said softly.  “I am sorry but you n
eed to rest now.”

He sighed disconsolately.  “But I only want to see Alyna.”

“
She can sit with you later.  You must not overtire yourself.”

“
Very well,” he said.  “Alyna, I look forward to our marriage.”  He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed the back
of it. 

She almost groaned.  His breath was warm and his lips soft.

“
So do I,” she whispered, kissing his cheek.

Suddenly, Garin’s arms enveloped her, pulling her against him.  “I survived the war because of the hope you granted me.” He closed his eyes a
nd released her, already exhausted.

Alyna stood, shaking.  The baroness guided her out of the room.  The moment the door shut Alyna’s control dissolved.  She rounded on Eleanor.

“
You allowed the monk to bleed him.”

Eleanor’s mouth pressed into a white line
.  “I had no choice, Brother Martin--”

“
I told you Garin was too weak.  His body suffered terribly in the Holy Land.  He went too long without food, he lost too much blood, and completely exhausted himself.  No wonder he is blind now.  It is a miracle he i
s alive at all.”  Her voice cracked and she buried her face in her hands. 

Agony assailed Alyna.  There would be no wedding now.  She could not marry a blind man and Garin would not receive his inheritance.  A blind baron could not render his required ser
vice to the king.  He would be given to the church to live out the rest of his days in darkness and loneliness, the whispering of prayers his only comfort.

She felt the baroness grip her arm and heard her speak to someone.  Abruptly her father’s strong arm
s held her tightly, his hand stroking his hair.

“’
Twill be all right, Alyna.”

Anger rose suddenly.  Anger at God and everyone else.  Her sobs grew more powerful, threatening to choke her.

“
Take her back to her room,” the baroness said and Alyna heard her f
ighting her tears as well.

Her father gently guided her down the hall.

Alyna tried to gather herself but she was exhausted and shaking.  A chill settled in her belly and would not leave her.  Her heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.  She could not
stop crying as she curled on her bed.  Her father finally pressed a cup to her lips.  From the bitter taste she knew the wine was laced but she did not care.  Anything to escape the terrible pain of knowing that her dreams would never be.  But her heart ac
hed more for Garin, he not only had lost his sight but his future. 

The drugged wine worked quickly and she was soon tumbling through strange nightmares.

Alyna stood in her uncle’s workshop, arguing vainly about the wedding.  She was furious with him.  “Y
ou know I cannot marry Garin now.”

Roger moved across the shop, absolutely certain of his surroundings.  He opened the drawers holding the gemstones he worked with.  Alyna or Cecily helped him sort them but once they were in the drawers Roger knew exactly
which ones were sapphires, emeralds, or rubies, which ones were high quality or poor, which ones were well cut or still ragged.  He could tell by touching them if their size or shape was what he wanted.  He worked with confidence and skill.

Roger never cea
sed to amaze her.  Alyna stopped her foolish argument just to watch him work.  His experienced fingers picked up a sapphire and felt around the edge.  He frowned and set it aside, reaching for another.  He repeated the process until he found one he liked.

“
You know, Alyna, people can surprise you if you give them a chance.”

He turned around to face her and Alyna jumped.  Roger no longer stood before her.  Garin, his blue eyes beautiful and sightless, held the gem out to her and she took it.  “But sometimes,
Alyna, even they don’t know it.”

Alyna awoke sharply and sat up in bed, blinking to focus her vision.