Brandywine: Regency historical romance (The Brocade Series, Book 1) (9 page)

“Good God, Helene! I’m trying to apologize and ask your help
with my life, and all you do is cry. I thought we were beyond that
stage, yet I’m right back in it. Christ! There should be an expert I
can call on to cure you. Every borough on this island is bursting
with doctors, yet none specializes in issues of the mind. Oh. Bother. I’m really mucking it up now, aren’t I? And here Reg said I have a glib tongue!”

“Reg is correct there, My Lord.”

“Gil,” he replied.

She wiped her eyes. “You said…something about your life?”

“Gil.”

He lifted a leg, planting the top of his boot on the frame of her settee. Helene avoided looking anywhere near it.

“Gil,” she whispered.

“Very good. Now let’s see if you can follow along, shall we? And s
ince we’re in such a weepy state this morning, without an ounce
of fight in us, it should be easy. Yes?”

The jibe effectively dried her eyes. All she
had to do was concentrate and pull back the wetness. It was stupid of
her to forget that lesson.

“I’m not crying, My Lord. See?”

She watched him
lift an eyebrow. Just one, and that put emphasis on his eyes. And something happened. Her heart pinged somewhere in her breast. Her breath caught. The man wasn’t remotely fair. And this was terrible.

“Such a wonderful actress you are, yet you forget the most
elementary part. When you’re prompted, you do as you’re told. Do you think you can
follow that much?”

“Yes.”

She narrowed her eyes. It helped tamp down the odd sensations stirring within her. His words helped more. She’d been wrong about him.
He wasn’t gentle and princely at all. He was
destructive, sarcastic, and not a man she could entrust with her
secret. She was lucky he’d kept her from blurting it out.

“Then remember to call me Gil. It’s the least you can do when you’re pretending to be madly in love with me. You’ll act
that part gracefully and perfectly, won’t you, my dear?”

“You
want
me to act?”

She couldn’t help the reaction. Her eyes came out of their narrowed look while he grinned.

“I know it’ll be a stretch. But yes, I
need
you to
act. It’s the only way I can get on with my life. And afterwards, you can
go to the devil if you wish.”

“You want me to pretend that I...?”  She couldn’t finish the question.

“Helene.
Darling.
Don’t get all shy on me now. You can say it. I want you to act like you love me. Now, you say it
.”

“You want me to act like I love you.”   She said it exactly like he had, but in her own voice.

“Excellent.”

“Why woul
d you want me to act as if I...I love you?”  Her voice stumbled. She hoped he wouldn’t catch it.

“Gil.”  He motioned for her to finish the sentence.

“Gil.”  She said it, but nothing about the tone was lover-like.

“Why? Because the entire country thinks Helen threw me over for
Chaffìn.”

“Didn’t she?”

“Didn’t she…
Gil?
” he prompted.

“Gil,” she parroted.

“Oh, you’re so malleable in the morning! We
should have all our conversations in your room while you
breakfast. This is deuced enjoyable, isn’t it?”

“If you say so.”

“Gil,” he added.

“Gil,” she spat.

“Wonderful. Now…think you can say it sweetly, like you love
me? No? Very well. I’ll force you later. Where was I? Oh…yes. The reason for this little deception. Helen isn’t going to have the last laugh. And we’re going to make certain of that.”

Helene bit her tongue to stop from asking a question. She watched while
he sampled one of her cinnamon rolls. She wasn’t saying his name. Not in a sweet, lover-like tone. She refused.

“You’re not the least bit curious about how we’re going to do such a momentous
thing? Not even a little?”

She shook her head and this time she shuttered her eyes, blocking him
. She had enough practice with that to last a lifetime.

“I think I almost preferred Brandy to you, do you know that?”

“Know what?”  She mimicked his voice without realizing her
error at saying anything.

“Haven’t we forgotten something?” he asked

She looked away before he saw how it affected her.
“Gil,” she whispered to the wall.

“Since you aren’t the least bit curious,
I’ll save my breath.  Looks like you’ve got the devil’s own work cut out for you
just to act loving toward me.”

She didn’t answer. She’d rather face the wall.

“We’ll start at luncheon, shall we? No answer again? Very
well. I’ll go ahead and set the wheels in motion, and you can just come along for the ride. Don’t
try to hide from me, either, darling. If you won’t come down to luncheon then I, well...I’ll just have to come visit you more
intimately again, won’t I?”

“Why are you doing this to me?”  The words came out in a rush. It was better than screaming them.

“We’re forgetting something again, aren’t we?”

She gnashed her teeth. The way she said his name gave it away. “Gil.”

“Lovely. But could you try to give it a bit more emotion? Just a smidge? Something that matches how besotted we are
with each other? Why…we couldn’t live another day apart. That’s why Helen helped us arrange the switch-over at the wedding. It’s the lone way we c
ould get you away from your overbearing guardian, Sir Bingham. Now, there’s
a man who wouldn’t even let me court you properly. He wanted to
save you for a debut. I’d be cut out by all the other swells. We couldn’t risk it.
”

“You’ve lost your mind, My Lord!” 

“Gil,” he snapped.

She went hot with the blush. It felt awful. “They’ll never believe it, My Lord.”

“Gil!”

“You’re
setting yourself up for failure. I’m not that good an actress. I can’t possibly fill the part, My Lord.”

“Gil, goddamn it!” he shouted.

“All right, Gil!” she shouted back. “You can’t see beyond the
nose on your face. This won’t work! I refuse to be part of it!”

“You lost that right when you said, ‘I do’, darling. So. We have an act to put on, and I think you’ll do splendidly. Why don’t we start right now
? I’ll accept a little kiss as a
token attempt.”

“A...kiss?”

The word was whispered. She was surprised it made sound as much as her lips were trembling
.

“Would it really be so horrid, darling? A kiss for your beloved?
Just one?”

She welcomed the dots before her eyes. Needed them. Prayed for them. Anything to obliterate the sight of Gil. Leaning
toward her.

“No! Please? No!”

“Gil.”

He was so close, his breath touched her lips.

“I’ll do what you say! I swear! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, My Lord—I mean Gil.” 

“You said my name. Good. We’ll just call that a start. And just look.
The sight of me still makes you swoon.”

He kissed the end of her nose and stood back. Helene was shuddering so violently, it rattled the settee beneath her.

“See you for luncheon, love.”

He was whistling as he left her away.
Whistling
.

Damn him
.

CHAPTER FOUR

They were expecting her for luncheon. She didn’t have a choice. Helene did her
best to maintain an aloof air as she progressed down the stairs,
looking away when she saw the mirror someone had replaced. It
was a conspiracy against her, and she knew instantly who was
responsible.

Gil lounged in a chair, a wine glass in his slender fingers.
Helene’s stomach fell at the sight. He hadn’t changed, and even in riding attire, he still
looked perfect.

She lifted her skirt with a shaking hand
and hoped the material hid the motion. It would never do to have Lord Tremayne think she feared him. He was using his
knowledge of that for his own ends, and she’d be damned before
she’d give him more power.

“There you are, darling. We were just about to come to
fetch you, weren’t we?”

Gil asked it.
No one answered. Helene tried not to notice how
easily he lifted from his indolent position to approach.

“Look at me with those brandy-colored eyes. Not like that, l
ove. Like you mean it. My. It’s a good thing she can’t strike me down
with them, isn’t it, Reg?”

He turned to his companion, awaiting them at the dining
room door, and Helene swallowed while Gil wasn’t looking.

“You’re not amusing, My Lord,” Helene replied when Gil
turned back.

“Gil.”

He lifted his eyebrows and smiled down at her. His
eyes were such warm pools of blue that her heart stumbled. Then it restarted at a much quicker beat, making it difficult to get her mouth to form words.

“Um…very well.
Gil
.”

“Oh come, darling. It’s a small price I ask, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Calling me by my given name. It’s a small price to pay for
my unknowing duplicity in your escape from the asylum, isn’t it?”

“Asylum?”  She pushed the word past cold lips, but her legs
refused to move.

“Yes. Asylum. You coming?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Uh...Gil.”

“Oh, that’s much better. To tell the truth, I was beginning to have my
doubts, but upon hearing you say my name with
such feeling, I’m gaining reassurance with every passing moment.”

This is insufferable.
She wasn’t saying a word. Not one.

“Oh. And the lady Bridget won’t be attending luncheon today, l
ove. Apparently, she was having difficulty with her gown.”

Helene caught the smile that passed between the two men.
“What’s wrong with her gown?”

“Nothing that needs concern you, love. Come along now. It’s time to see
just how much of a refresher you’ll need before we accept
invitations that require dining. This is the correct way to seat a
lady. Oh. My. You’ll have to sit more gracefully than that.”

Helene glared into her lap, ignoring his jibe, because her legs had just given out and dropped her. He knew it, too.

“
A tender look wouldn’t go amiss, either.”

Tender look?

“Come along, love. Reg is waiting to make his evaluation.
Aren’t you, Reg?”

“To be sure, although, if you insist on digging into her
shoulder that way, Gil, someone is bound to notice.”

Helene smiled her gratitude at the smaller man then turned her face upward. Gil’s eyes were as warm as before. It had the same affect on her heart rate.

“Very gracious, Helene.”

“Go to hell,” she whispered
.

He bent and touched his cheek to hers. The slight
scratchiness of his beard annoyed. And then it appalled. And then it sent shivers. He hadn’t even taken the time to shave?

He stood, disconnecting from her. She almost touched the cheek where he’d just been, but stopped the motion at the last instant. And then he walked around the table to sit, facing her. She didn’t watch. She somehow
felt
it.

“Mrs. Hotchkins has quite outdone herself this afternoon.
Wouldn’t you agree, darling?”

Helene picked up her spoon before looking across at him. “I’m certain it’s delicious
, My Lord.”

He tipped his head slightly.

“I mean, Gil.”

“Well, Reg, look there. It appears Helene’s table manners are
impeccable. I’m beginning to rise from the depths of despair
. We’ve only two more fences to hurdle. You’ll let me know
when you’re ready to try your hand, or actually, I should say your
feet, at dancing. Won’t you, Helene?”

Her spoon stopped halfway to her mouth, and she watched the broth in it shimmer
. Her entire body went cold, then hot.
Dear God! Dancing?
Anything but
that. It was Gerard’s dancing tutelage that was
responsible for…

She wouldn’t think it.

“Danc…ing?” she managed to ask.

“Of course. We’ll need to attend at least one ball where we’ll be
required to take a waltz or two. You
do
know how to waltz, don’t
you?”

“I…don’t know. Uh…Gil
.”

Perhaps Gil’s arms would feel different enough
that she wouldn’t run screaming from him, looking for a weapon. Maybe. If she shut off her memory. Somehow.

Oh dear. She was clinging to straws and knew it.

“Well. My aunt can certainly help. She plays a fine waltz on the pianoforte. I can spell her if she’s still unavailable, however. That might work. If the
thought of me fills you with dread, perhaps I’ll allow Reg to stand
in.”

“I look forward to it,” Reg answered.

“Oh, please, My Lord! Please? Anything but that!” 

Tears filled her eyes, blurring
him, and whatever expression was on his face.

“You’re crying? Again? For the love of—! Look. Helene. I’m not asking for the bloody
moon! All I want is a public display of affection, enough to set the
gossips on their ears. You can wash your hands of me afterwards. We
don’t have to see each other
ever
again. Do you know how
wondrous that sounds?”

“You’ll get a bill of divorcement?” 

The words were tremulous, but intelligible. Good thing she’d waited while her tears got sucked back before saying them
.

“And give my mother a seizure? Not bloody likely.”

“Then…how? My mind is not that befuddled. You’
re not making sense. Without a divorcement, I’ll never be able
to wash my hands of you, as you so charmingly put it.”

“Well maybe you should’ve thought of that before you wed me.”

Her spoon clattered to the floor, and Gil nodded to a footman to retrieve it.  Nobody said anything as a new one was brought and placed beside her bowl.

“That, most assuredly, is not the proper way to replace your
silver, darling. Promise me you’ll work on it. Yes?”

Reg cleared his throat, although, in the silence that followed
Gil’s statement, it wasn’t necessary.

“It’s common enough for husbands and wives to lead
separate lives, Lady Helene,” Reg said. “What Gil is asking is, if
you’ll help him regain his – shall we say – reputation? Yes. That’s a fair word. Gillian’s reputation has been damaged. He’s a laughingstock among his peers. Ev
eryone is of the opinion that Helen put one
over on him. It isn’t sitting very well with him.

“Usually, he’s very charming and wouldn’t need me to cast
light on the situation, but there it is. Your peace of mind and a
comfortable existence at Tremayne Hall, in exchange for a few weeks of acting like you love him. It shouldn’t be too difficult.
That is, if Gil can put some effort into it.”

“She already knows the why of it, Reg. I don’t need your help.”

“Well, I do,” Helene inserted, putting warmth to her voice. It was easy. All she had to do was mimic Mrs. Wright. “And I thank you for making it clear, Reginald.”

Gil didn’t like either her words, or her tone. The way he gripped his spoon was demonstrating just how much he didn’t like it. But turnabout was fair-play, and he’d started it
.

“And I will say, if my freedom from him is at the end of this endeavor, then I can’t tell you how much I look forward to our lesson. Dancing, was it?”

It turned out Gil had been right. Mrs. Hotchkins’s fare was
enticing. Helene had no trouble enjoying every mouthful through the rest of the meal.

***

She wasn’t smiling later when Reg threw his hands up in
mock despair.

“I’m sorry, My Lord,” she apologized. “Truly I am. Perhaps if you
don’t hold me as tightly, I...won’t have this problem.”

“I’m hardly touching you, Lady Helene, and you’ll never get
the steps right if l don’t.”

“Second thoughts, Reg?”

Gil stopped the exquisite
sounds he coaxed from the piano to look over at them with a cocked eyebrow.

“No, he’s not,” Helene answered quickly.

Very well,” Gil replied. “I’ll try another.”

He began another piece, and Helene gaped in wonder yet again. The man had amazing music ability. She’d already gone slack-jawed when he first started playing since Lady Bridget had failed to appear.

“Where’s Lady Bridget?” she’d asked.

“Having a problem with her hair. She’ll be down shortly.”

“Then...there’s no dancing?”

Gil probably heard the relief in her voice. It would explain the merriment in his reply. He was almost chuckling.

“Oh. I’m quite competent at the
piano, darling. It’s something I was interested in before,
well...before.”

“Before soldiering?”

She did her best to ignore the marquis standing in the
center of the room. Although not as large as a conventional ballroom, it was still suitable for several couples. Her heart was giving her trouble
. The memory of Gerard…

Engaging Gil in conversation had seemed
the lesser evil.

“No. Before my marriage.
Now go along, Helene. Go greet your partner
and act like you’re enjoying this.”

“You’re certain I won’t trip on your playing, My Lord?”

He’d stood at the piano and given her such a look she
should’ve guessed his expertise from the expression on his face.

“Aren’t we forgetting something?” he’d asked.

That’s when she’d turned toward Reg. She wasn’t playing his game anymore. And then the
first notes had emitted
from
the piano, stopping her in place. She’s stared. Gaped. And then stepped on Reginald’s toes.

And this time when she stepped on them, he swore.

“Damn! Pray forgive me, Helene…but I’ve more to do in this life with these feet,” Reg told her
. “I’m afraid I’ll have to cry off. I’m not such a
good dancer after all. Gil? Your turn.”

Reg limped
toward the piano. Helene turned her back to them. This might work out just as well.
She couldn’t dance, and since Reg had already
confessed his ignorance of music, the dance lesson could
hardly continue.

Hearty laughter greeted Reg’s arrival at the piano. Helene
refused to turn around and watch.
So I’m no dancer,
she thought.
There
are worse things.

“Hi darling. It appears poor Reginald has taken a distinct dislike to your
particular brand of dancing.”

“I’m not dancing with you.”  She spoke the words over her shoulder
.

“Oh, I quite agree. You probably aren’t dancing at all. But, as I still
have on my riding boots, I’m better suited to your brand of
torture.”

She almost giggled and stifled it.
“There isn’t any music, My Lord.”

“Gil. And we won’t need any, love.”

She gasped in surprise as he reached out, spun her, and then just lifted her right off the floor, holding her so closely, she could
smell how unwashed he was — and it was heavenly!

Oh dear.

“Ah…you see how easy it is? One, two, three. One, two, three.”

He
twirled, humming as he did. Helene closed her eyes. That made everything a little better. But not much.