BWWM Interracial Romance 5: Love After Halftime (6 page)

“Yes?” she asked, clutching her robe tight to her throat. The colors shifted and a familiar face appeared, smiling.

“Let an old fool in, will ya Merl?” begged Tina as Marlene fumbled to unlock the door.

“Jesus,” Marlene gasped as she found the colors to be a beautiful bouquet almost as big as their bearer. “I thought a clown was knocking on my door.”

“One is,” Tina said, setting the flowers down and wrapping Marlene in a soft, warm hug. It was impossible for Marlene not to notice that her friend was trembling. “Or, at least, a fool. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Me forgive you?” Marlene asked, dragging Tina into the kitchen where they always sat. She had just opened a bottle of red wine, to drink herself to sleep, and brought down an extra glass to share. “I should be the one sending you flowers.”

Tina sat in her usual stool on the other side of Marlene’s butcher-block table in the middle of her kitchen, and Marlene sank onto the stool across from her. Despite the familiar seating arrangement, the setting still seemed strained. Regardless of what Tina said, there was still a sense of awkwardness in the air. Marlene wondered if it would always be there, like a silent wall between them.

“I haven’t slept a wink since our fight,” Tina confessed, twirling the wineglass in her frail little hands. “I feel so bad about what I said.”

“Me too,” Marlene admitted. “I’ve just… been lost. I feel so shameful…”

Tina sighed, avoiding Marlene’s eyes. “I won’t lie and say it’s been easy, Merl, but… I understand more what you’ve been going through.”

Marlene found it hard to hide the shock in her voice. “You do?”

Tina nodded, finally looking her friend in the eyes. “And I don’t know why I blamed you alone, Merl. I mean, it takes two to tango, right?”

Marlene nodded, then shook her head. “It just hurt my heart that you thought I begrudged you marrying Joe, Tina, when all I ever wanted was his happiness… and yours.”

“I know that,” Tina sighed. She looked tired, almost haggard. Marlene hated to think she had something to do with Tina’s discomfort or severe, troubled appearance. Then again, like Tina had just said, it took two to tango. “I just, even though I don’t want him anymore, and he sure doesn’t want me, I still don’t want anyone else having him. Especially my best friend!”

“That’s why I had to tell you,” Marlene said, patting her friend’s frail, white hand. “I couldn’t live with myself if I harbored this secret, knowing the whole while how hurt you’d be.”

“I guess part of me knew that,” Tina said, doing more than sipping her wine. Without a word, Marlene silently topped off her glass. “That’s why I’ve been cringing over those words I said the other day at lunch.”

“Trust me,” Marlene chuckled, sipping her own wine as relief washed over her. She hated thinking Tina hated
her
. “They were well deserved.”

“No they weren’t,” Tina insisted, voice rising. “Was I happy with you? No. Am I still happy with you? Not exactly, but… you’re not a liar or a whore!’

“I should hope not!” Marlene replied.

They laughed nervously, sipping their wine. Tina finished her glass, but Marlene didn’t feel right about topping it off for her again… and Tina never asked. They had always been so comfortable together and now, as Marlene had feared, that wall made the silence more than awkward; it was nearly unbearable. They sat for another few moments, Tina glancing at her watch once too often for Marlene’s taste.

“Got a hot date?” she asked, trying – and failing – to hide her irritation.

Fortunately, Tina didn’t notice. “Actually,” she said, standing up abruptly, “that’s another thing I came to tell you. You and Joe getting together, well… it was kind of the closure I needed to move on with my own life.”

“Yeah?” Marlene asked, following her to the door. She wasn’t sure what her friend meant, but it certainly sounded promising.

“You know that lawyer I was telling you about?” she said, grabbing her purse from next to the expensive floral bouquet and holding it close to her, as if protecting it.

“The one who helped you refinance the house?” Marlene recalled vaguely.

“Right, well… he’d been asking me out for months, but… I still felt disloyal saying ‘yes,’ you know?” When Marlene nodded, she continued. “But after your little… revelation… I decided, ‘why not,’ right?”

Tina stood, chin out, head up, daring Marlene to judge her.

Marlene beamed instead. “Good for you, Tina.” She was excited for her friend. Not only would a diversion would be good for her, it would be good for all of them. Thanks to his friend Brad, Joe had had more than his share of “diversions” since the divorce. But Tina had remained alone, separated, the dutiful ex-wife, pining away in her empty mansion. No wonder she’d called Marlene all those hateful names when she’d learned that they finally slept together.

“Well,” said Tina uncertainly, as if she wasn’t quite as confident as she seemed about the prospect. “We’ll see. It’s just a dinner date, for now, but… fingers crossed.”

“Let me know how it goes,” Marlene said, opening the door for her friend. “And I really hope it goes well, Tina. You… you deserve some happiness after this last year, right?”

Tina nodded, her eyes moist. “We both do,” she insisted, hugging Marlene tight. “We both do…”

Her words echoed in Marlene’s head long after she shut the door and turned, admiring the flowers Tina had brought. “Yes we do,” she muttered to herself, smiling for the first time since their fight. “Yes we most certainly do!”

* * * * *

Joe should have seen the black Mercedes when he pulled up to Marlene’s building, but he’d been so preoccupied with finding a space, he didn’t put together that it was Tina’s until they both stood, face to face, on the steps outside Marlene’s lobby doors.

“Tina!”

“Joe!”

They stood awkwardly before falling into a familiar, if forced, embrace. “How have you been?” Joe asked, sincerely. He’d been meaning to check in with her and, in all the hubbub lately, had simply forgotten.

Then again, his ex-wife didn’t always make it easy. Tonight, though, seemed the exception.

“Really good,” she said, rather than her usual doom and gloom.

Surprised, Joe couldn’t help but ask, “Yeah?”

She blushed, slightly, avoiding his eyes. “Yeah, I’m… on my way to a date right now.”

“No shit?” Joe blurted.

“What?” she asked, eyes narrow and lean, the Tina Joe knew and once upon a time, loved. “You don’t seem to be hurting in the date department, Joe.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “No, I sincerely meant… no shit, as in… Never mind. I can’t explain myself to you, Tina. I never could.”

“You never tried, Joe,” she fumed, standing and tapping her feet. “I can’t believe this. The first piece of good news I’ve had since you dumped me and you can’t even be happy for me.”

“I am happy, Tina, Jesus, and for the record… you dumped me, remember?”

“How could I forget?” she barked, voice growing shill in the night. “That little oversight cost me more in the divorce than you’ll ever know.”

Joe sighed. He hadn’t come for this. He’d come here for Marlene, dammit! Not his shrew of an ex! “Tina, anything you need, you know you’ll never want for.”

She softened, then, not about the money, he figured, but the offer. “Joe, I know, I just… I miss you, I suppose. And seeing you here, knowing how close you and Marlene have gotten…”

“No closer than ever,” he said, hoping she couldn’t see the blush rising to his cheeks.

She did; of course she did. “Sure thing, Joe,” she said, patting his arm. “Sure thing. Enjoy your night, and I’ll be sure to fill you in on all the details of my date.”

“Please don’t,” he said, and they both chuckled. Well, he thought, watching her drive away and reaching for the door to Marlene’s lobby, at least it ended on a positive note.

* * * * *

Marlene heard the bell ringing and sighed, tugging her robe tight around her favorite sleep T-shirt. Her fuzzy red slippers only added to the “real housewife” look as she peeked through the keyhole to see Joe, dashing as ever, his crooked smile disarming her at a moment’s notice.

“Go away,” she groaned, even as she slid the chain back on the hotel lock before clicking the deadbolt open.

“I can’t do that,” he smirked, bursting through her door. “You know I can’t do that.”

She noticed him noticing the flowers on her foyer table. “Hey, you two-timing me?”

Marlene chuckled, running her hands through the beautiful flowers Tina had just dropped off. “They’re from your ex,” she said.

Joe arched one eyebrow. “Why?”

Marlene sighed and padded into the kitchen, Joe hot on her heels. She reached for a second glass – make that a third, counting Tina’s – to help her finish the bottle of red she’d started when she decided not to meet Joe for dinner that night.

“She and I had it out earlier this week,” Marlene confessed, remembering the ugly scene at lunch and how it had just confirmed for her how wrong it was to be with Joe in the first place.

“Jesus, Merl,” Joe said, running his fingers through his hair as he paced along the kitchen floor. “You told her?”

“I told you I might,” she said. “I just… I couldn’t live that lie, Joe, don’t you see?”

“It’s not a lie if she never knows the truth.”

“
I’d
know the truth,” Marlene insisted, sipping her wine to calm her jittery nerves. “Anyway, it’s fine now. She just left, matter of fact…”

“No shit?” Joe chuckled.

“What?” Marlene asked, heart fluttering. “You saw her? She saw you?”

Joe held up a hand to soothe her, but it was his soft, gentle smile that did the trick. “Relax,” he said, but his tone wasn’t condescending in the least. “Nobody called the cops for domestic disturbance, so… we’re all good.” Joe slid down into the stool across from the butcher-block table in her kitchen.

“I know I shouldn’t worry so,” she said, smiling at the presence of Joe in her kitchen, in her home… in her heart. “It’s just…”

“It’s just… what?” he asked, reaching for his wine.

“Complicated,” she confessed, chuckling humorlessly. “She said all the right things, Joe, and so did I, but… it’s not the same as it was.”

“
We’re
not the same,” he said, reaching for her hand. “Life’s not the same. I know Tina, she’ll get over it.”

“I just feel so lowdown,” Marlene confessed. “It’s like, I couldn’t even wait a year after your divorce to hop into bed with you.” Even saying the words made her blush.

He squeezed her hand. “We waited long enough, Merl. We did nothing wrong.”

“Then why does it feel so wrong?”

Joe slid his hand away and reached for his wine, taking a nice, long sip before considering her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us,” he said, “and thinking a lot about you, and why we waited so long.”

“Do tell,” she teased, but inside she was thrilled to think he’d been thinking about them; about her.

“You’re not your mother,” he said, simply, calmly. “I’m not your father. We are not them, and even if we have ups and downs, even if we break up, or never fight, you’re never going to feel free to love if you’re so afraid of heartbreak you can’t let yourself love.”

She sighed, her lip quivering as two soft, clear teardrops fell.

“Hey, hey,” he said, standing, rushing to embrace her. “I didn’t mean anything by it!”

“It’s not you,” she said, voice fraught with emotion. “It’s me. I just… I’ve spent so long living in the shadows, Joe. First in the shadow of my mother’s pain, then in the shadow of my father’s betrayal, then in Tina’s shadow, as she got the dream life I wanted until finally I just… gave up on my own happiness.”

He chuckled, dragging her from her chair. “You don’t have to be unhappy anymore, Merl,” he whispered as they danced in the kitchen, without any music but the pounding of their own hearts, deep in their chests.

Their dance was slow and tender as the words fell away and the heat built up. Marlene had been planning a quiet evening at home, alone with her grief, but with Joe’s strong hands on her body, she knew just how she wanted to spend it.

“Take me to bed, Joe,” she murmured, shrugging out of her robe as his hands began to caress her full, warm breasts over the soft cotton of her favorite T-shirt. He tugged it off, making her gasp, squirm and laugh all at the same time.

“Not sure I can wait that long to have you again,” he said, pressing her back against the counter as she tugged at his clothes until they both stood, naked and bodies entwined in the middle of her kitchen.

As if to prove how just eager he was, Joe bent to feast on her radiant, glistening heat. It was so unexpected, so welcome, Marlene succumbed, spreading her arms wide along the butcher block as Joe knelt in their piles of clothes, a pale hand on each ebony thigh, gently bathing her fiery furnace with his own wet, gentle heat.

It was such a slow buildup that she began to warm to it, gripping the butcher block as he zeroed in on her throbbing bud. “Sweet Jesus,” she gasped as his rasping tongue sent a jolt of electricity through her trembling body. “Lord have mercy, Joe!”