Coming Home (3 page)

Caleb continued to usher her up the steps,
pushing the mesh door open before leading her into the living
space.

"Looks just the same." She sighed.

"Yeah, we don't really have the time to
decorate."

"What? You and Pax don't have any lady
friends to help out with the decor?" She tried to hide the slight
jealous edge to her tone, because the thought of any woman around
her men clawed at her.

Caleb didn't miss the light inquiry, calling
her on it right away. "Jealous? Want us all to yourself? Well,
Ne-Ne, you can't do that from hundreds of miles away."

Her eyes grew wide in shock. Did he mean it?
Had Caleb known all along about her problem?

The ringing of his cell phone put a halt to
their conversation. It gave her time to calm down. Her heart raced
and she fought to make sense of his little comment. She strolled
over to the kitchen, noting they had changed the place a little bit
because it looked new. The stainless steel gleamed, the counter top
pristine and the stove looked like it had never been used. She
grinned, guessing if she looked in the trash she'd find it full of
frozen pizza packages. These men needed a shakeup. Her father
included.

The low murmur of Caleb's voice filtered into
the kitchen. Sydney closed her eyes, feeling it reverberate through
her torso. Fooling herself had only worked for so long. She missed
him terribly and hated herself for the pain she'd caused. Even now
he was being nice to her, allowing her time to talk at her own
pace, not his. The love had never gone but had certainly grown
stronger, and not just for Caleb. No matter how hard she thought
about the situation, she couldn't see a way around it. It would be
easier if she stopped entertaining thoughts of either man.

"Syd?"

She spun, startled by his voice because she
had been so lost in thought. "Um, sorry, I was miles away."

"Yeah, I got that." He waved his cell phone.
"That was Pax. He's up in the top field with Roman and the other
horses. He thought you'd want to go and see them. Told me to grab a
saddle and take you up there."

"Roman's okay though, right?"

"Sure is. Rode him myself early this morning.
His stall was barely touched by the fire and we got the horses out
before it could cause any damage to them anyway."

Her lip quivered. The fire could have been
far worse. She could have lost her father and everything that meant
anything to her.

"Shush," Caleb soothed, swamping her in his
large, warm embrace. "We're gonna sort this out. It'll all be back
to normal soon. Well… as normal as it was without you here."

It hurt not to be with him, to be unable to
turn her face up to meet his and be consumed by his lips. She'd
sought the oblivion of his body so many times that she'd been lost
without it. Back in Sacramento she didn't have the option as he
lived hours away, but now that he touched her, consoled her, she
found it difficult to push the ache aside.

"I missed you. I always miss you," she
blurted out. His arms grew rigid around her, his exhale brushing
across her neck. "You're the one that left, Syd. I'm still here. I
still want you."

"You shouldn't."

"Damn right, I shouldn't. By rights I should
hate you—my head tells me I should, but there's this muscle in my
chest that won't let me. The thing keeps tellin' me you're the only
one for me."

But you're not the only one for me.

Sydney shuddered when that thought rested
front and center in her head. Being here hurt her just as much as
it did Caleb. "I wish I saw it that way, Caleb."

"Maybe you could? If you told me why you left
me high and dry, we could work through it. Maybe I'd
understand."

Rearing back, she frowned, taking in the
glint of his green eyes. If she didn't know better she'd think he
already knew what her issue was. But that would be impossible.
She'd told no one about her secret fantasies, and as far as Pax and
Caleb were concerned she never wanted to talk about that night
under the bleachers again. The only way he could know what she
wanted was if he'd read her books, which again couldn't be
possible. Everyone here thought she worked as a journalist not an
author. They wouldn't even know to look for a penname for her.

Putting the glint in Caleb's eyes down to
paranoia, she removed herself from his embrace. "I'd really like to
go and see Roman."

He smiled, his face transforming from serious
to cute in a matter of seconds. Caleb had never been the most
playful of teenagers, his expression usually serious. However, she
remembered the way her stomach would flip whenever he smiled, and
it was doing those somersaults right now.

"You intendin' on ridin' him?"

Nodding, she started to walk out of the
kitchen but his fingers folding around her wrist stopped her. "I'm
not goin' to stop tryin', Syd. You'll always be mine until the day
you say stop—the day you say that you love someone else."

Her throat constricted. "It's been five
years."

"Is there someone? Somethin' that feels
better than what we had?" His eyes bored into hers, his thumb
stroking her pulse point. Knowing he could feel how fast her heart
pounded, she shook her head. "There's no one."

"Then five years is nothin'. You're still
mine. Your skin still holds my brand."

"I'm n-not cattle," she said weakly. "And
I've been with people since you."

Caleb shrugged, pulling her arm until she
stumbled against his hard body. "I don't care how many idiots
you've used tryin' to wash my fingerprints from your skin. They're
still there. I see them and so do you." He lowered his head,
bringing his lips close to hers.

A groan bubbled up, her mind screaming at her
to push him away. He licked his lips, anticipation thickening the
air around them. Her stomach went into free fall, plummeting and
going far beyond the odd flip. She wanted him to kiss her, but then
she didn't and as her eyes fluttered closed he spoke softly. "Let's
go find Pax."

Letting go as if he'd been scorched he
stalked from the house, leaving her with the echo of his boots on
the wood floor and the roaring of her blood in her ears.

Sydney looked out across the hills, absorbing
the view she had missed. Roman snickered, receiving a long stroke
to his chestnut mane in response. It had been far too long since
she'd ridden him. Her thighs we already achy and a long soak in the
tub would be needed later.

Saddling Roman as soon as she'd seen him, Pax
and Caleb were left coughing in her dust cloud. They would no doubt
catch up with her soon, but for now she enjoyed the calm washing
over her.

She was home.

In Sacramento she convinced herself into
believing she didn't miss this place—the fear of facing Caleb
dowsing cold water on her dreams of moving back. It was all her own
doing, and the reality of being back here nothing like she'd
envisioned. Caleb didn't hate her anywhere near as much as she
thought he should. Though he probably would when she explained
there could never be a way forward for them. Not without Pax, and
that dream seemed utterly unobtainable.

Lowering her head onto Roman's, she sighed,
hugging his neck tight. "What am I going to do?"

The sound of galloping hooves drifted over
the hill toward her. She could tell there was more than one horse,
which meant both men had come to find her.

A sharp thrill shot through her body, her
thighs squeezing in response. Why did she have to love two men? Why
did her body only lust for their touch? Feeling this way had become
a slow torture for her, because there would be no happy ending for
them.

Someone would most certainly get hurt.

"You there, Syd?" Pax called, his black
stallion trotting up the hill. His dark sunglasses hid his eyes,
his well-worn Stetson shading his face, but she didn't miss the
hard set of his shoulders. Pax was pissed.

Bracing herself for his wrath, she smiled
uncertainly at him. "Do you have a death wish?" he snapped,
dismounting his stallion.

"I got carried away. I always was faster than
you, though."

A small smile crept across Pax's lips as
Caleb dismounted his horse too. "In your dreams, sweetheart."

She snickered in response, watching Caleb
come closer, holding his hand out to help her down from Roman.

"You need to be careful racin' around by
yourself, Syd," he said seriously. She climbed down, trying to
ignore the spark she felt from his touch. "All it takes is one
thing to spook Roman, and he'll buck you off. He's old and
temperamental now."

"Okay, Mom," she teased, wincing as her
thighs quivered.

The men came to stand on either side of her,
bracketing her as she stared across the land. Swamped by their
size, both were over six feet in height, they towered over her much
smaller frame. Secretly, she loved it. Never in her life had she
felt so safe. Neither of them did anything special—just stood next
to her. Nevertheless, it felt perfect.

Her shoulders rubbed against their arms, the
coarse hair tickling her skin.

Desperate for a distraction, Sydney pointed
across the field. "Those trees are new. I used to be able to see
the start of my dad's land from here."

"Yeah, they were put in about seven years
back," Pax replied.

"His
wife
wanted seclusion," Caleb
added.

Sydney glanced at Pax. She'd heard about his
marriage and she also knew how much he despised talking about it.
His relationship with Emma had been a whirlwind one. They'd been
married only two months after meeting and obviously never meant to
last. Pax's marriage spanned a total of four months before he filed
for divorce. As far as Sydney knew the last time he had laid eyes
on Emma had been the day the divorce had been finalized.

Pax pointed across to the trees, clearing his
throat before muttering, "I can take 'em down if you want."

She shook her head without missing a beat.
"There's no need for you to go changing things for me. Besides,
talking about her must still smart."

"I'm fine, sweetheart."

Her heart skipped a beat whenever Pax called
her that. He'd been using it for as long as she could remember, and
it always caused the same reaction.

Caleb shifted back, checking on the
horses.

"Do you ever hear from Emma?" she asked Pax
once Caleb walked out of earshot.

"No. Clean break was the only way to go. We
were dumb."

"You weren't. You loved her." She placed a
hand on his arm, cursing his sunglasses because she wanted to see
the emotions in his brown eyes.

"See there's the problem. I don't think I
did. My decisions were made by my cock back then."

His honesty made her snort. "I'd say there
are worse things than being led by that."

Her skin heated as he turned his gaze on her.
"I suppose there is, though sometimes all a man can do is wait and
have faith that what he really wants will come to him one day."

He couldn't mean her. Could he? The last
thing she needed right now would be Pax confessing he wanted her.
It would make leaving both men even harder. She wanted them both
but a relationship with either one would be only half as
fulfilling.

"Storm's brewin', Pax," Caleb interrupted,
leading the horses over. "I'm starvin' and Jack says we need to put
some meat on her bones."

"Syd looks just fine to me."

Caleb smiled. "Man, that's just what I said.
Though she refused to give me a closer look."

Her mouth dropped open in shock, only
intensifying when Pax removed his sunglasses, tucking them into the
front pocket of his shirt and winked at her, adding, "There's time
yet."

A squeak exited her mouth as he climbed back
onto his horse, beckoning for her to follow him. She couldn't. Her
heart crashed furiously against her chest, and the butterflies in
her stomach began multiplying. The two men thundered off on their
horses, grinning at each other.

Sydney clutched Roman's reins, stroking down
his long, white nose.

What the hell had just happened?

*~~*

"I swear, Syd, that has to be the best meal
I've eaten in months."

Smiling, she walked into the living room.
After the conversation on the hill she'd been confused. Wanting to
calm herself, she volunteered to cook dinner. The men didn't
complain. In fact, she received a peck on the cheek from each. It
had been enough to get her excitement ramping back up.

Opting for something simple, she made a quick
carbonara and managed to find some garlic bread in the freezer. She
found her earlier assessment of what the men usually ate hadn't
been wrong. She counted twelve separate boxes of frozen pizza. How
they managed to run the ranch on junk food was beyond her.

Vowing to go grocery shopping tomorrow, she
finished cleaning away the last of the dishes and stepped into the
living room. The fire crackled, casting a warm, orange glow around
the room, and the pitter-patter of rain against the windows mingled
with the low music someone had switched on. Caleb rubbed his
abdomen, stretching out across the couch and lifting his arms up to
rest behind his head.

When she moved further into the room his
green gaze caressed her body, causing her to breathe a little
faster. His blue T-shirt rode up, revealing the toned muscles of
his stomach. Her tongue swirled in her mouth, wanting a taste of
his skin. Recalling his tang, she caught herself leaning closer to
him and pulled back, but too late. Caleb smirked knowingly and Pax
raised a brow. She'd been well and truly busted.

"Um, w-who wants coffee?" she stammered.

"Nope," Caleb responded, holding his hand
out. "Come sit down. Pax is grabbin' some beers."

"I'm not sitting on your lap."

"Never asked you to, Ne-Ne. Sit on the rug
and rest back against the couch."