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“I’m sorry, it was late and I wasn't thinking. I’ll make it up to you. Meet me at Starbucks in forty minutes, I’ll buy.”

“You’ll buy? Yeah right. I know how broke you are. Meet me in thirty and I’ll buy.”

Fine, see you soon,” I say hanging up the phone.

“Lucas,” I nudge him and he hardly stirs.

“Lucas, wake up.”

He mumbles again this time hooking an arm around my waist and pulling me backward. He pushes his shirt up, that I slipped on last night to sleep in and starts kissing my stomach.

Heat instantly pools between my legs, but I have to go.

“I can’t. I have to meet Liz in thirty minutes for coffee and then I have class.”

He rolls on top of me and sleepily kisses my neck, “Skip?”

“I can’t miss my classes.”

Another kiss, a little harder. He’s trying to persuade me with his mouth.

I want to stay, but I struggle to pay for school and it’s important. “It’s important. School’s important,” I tell him.

He stops kissing me and jokes, “Why didn’t you say so?”

I fix myself the best I can in the bathroom moving about at a lightning speed. I come out and he is still lazily lying in bed.

“I think I’m drunk off you,” he tells me then gives me a smile that could melt any woman’s heart, but it especially makes mine do weird flippy things. “I want to see you later. What time are you done with class.

“Today’s no good. I work at the bookstore on Mondays and Wednesdays as soon as I get out of class. What time do you work?”

“In a few hours. The shop is pretty lax with hours, but I would’ve taken off for you. I’ll tell you what. How about you come over after work. I’ll make a late dinner.”

“I highly doubt you’ve ever cooked a meal in your kitchen. I wish I could tonight, but I have homework that I should’ve gotten done this weekend and didn’t.”

“Tomorrow then, come over after your last class.”

“Tomorrow my schedule isn't that bad. I have to go to The Scene for a little while, but after that I'm all yours,”

He smiles warmly at me. “All mine,” he mumbles and then without any thought I lean down and give him my lips, kissing him goodbye.

Liz is waiting for me, double fisting two steamy coffees.

“Hey, hooker. I brought you a shirt so you’re at least wearing something clean. I can smell your sexing from here.” Liz is dressed very meticulously. Her wool coat, that is unbuttoned showing off the white designer shirt and thick wool pants that are hidden under her tall brown boots, screams put together.

“Shut up, you cannot.” I sit down beside Liz and take the first sip of coffee savoring the rich aroma.

“So, you’ve had an eventful weekend.”

My cheeks flush at Liz’s accurate description.

“It was so good Liz. But oh fuck, we didn’t use a condom and I totally need to get that pill you told me about.”

She looks at me with her jaw slightly agape, “You just met this guy and you had unprotected sex? Seriously June, I thought I taught you better than that.”

I shrug amused. This conversation is flipped around from the way it normally goes. I’m normally telling Liz how worried I am about her behavior. I think she’s getting a kick out of this.

“What about Blondie from the other night? Are you going to see him again?”

“I doubt it. Maybe?”

“What was wrong with this one?”

“It’s not that something is wrong with him. He was really sweet and we got along fine, but I guess I just want that crazy feeling like you want to spend every second with the person and I just struggle to find that.”

We finish our coffee and talk about our schedules this week. I make my way to my first class after changing my shirt in the car and think about what Liz said; that crazy feeling like you want to spend every second with them. I want to get back to Lucas, but feel uneasy about my growing addiction to him. I also feel guilty, which isn’t really fair. All of this time I’ve been holding on to my first love. I haven’t seen him in seven years. You would think with the internet it would be easy to find him, but I can’t find anything, and I mean zero, zilch, nada. I’ve searched property records for his dad’s farm, but the title records show new ownership from the same summer I was last there.

I have to wonder how much is real between Lucas and myself, and how much has to do with his resemblance to Jake?

It’s all too much. By the time I finish class and start work at the bookstore, I’ve decided that I need to give myself a little space from Lucas. I need to make sure what we have is about us and not about my feelings for Jake.

I’m distracted at work and my manager basically tells me to pull my head out of my ass or go home, so I shoved all thoughts aside and busied myself. On my way home, I stop at a different drugstore, find the magic pill and immediately take it.

I wake up Tuesday with a text on my phone from an unknown number that simply says, “Wish you were here.” I don’t text him back, but I do think about the fact that it would’ve been nice to wake up in his arms.

The Scene is a local paper that covers what’s hot in Cleveland’s scene. It has a few current topics with fairly liberal views, but mostly if you want to know what is hot in Cleveland, this is your paper. I was lucky to get an internship here. They pay me minimally, but it’s giving me experience that I wouldn't get most places.

I turn my paper in and meet with the editor, make a few changes that she suggests and debate on whether or not to call Lucas. I don’t have to make that decision though because when I step out of the newspaper building and walk the short distance to my car, Lucas is leaning against it, sipping on a Starbuck’s cup.

“Hey.” He looks nervous, almost as if he wasn't sure how I’d react to him being here. “I couldn't wait any longer.”

I smile. I can’t help it. Any unease about his similarities is washed away when he bends down and immediately takes my lips.

“Hey back,” I say when we break apart, “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing here?”

“Work was slow, so they gave me the afternoon off. The guys called and want to do an impromptu practice. I know we talked about getting together today, so I was hoping you would come?”

“I’d love to come.” I love music so much and watching these guys sounds like the perfect afternoon. “I’m excited,” I lean into his side and ask, “Did you drive here?”

“No, it’s not that far from work and I figured you wouldn't want to leave your car so I had a guy from work drop me off. Coffee?” he asks handing me his Starbuck’s cup he was just drinking from.

I take the Styrofoam cup and bring it to my lips, “Mmm caramel, my favorite.” The steam through the tiny hole at the top of the cup hits the cool air.

Lucas smiles at me, and it’s a beautiful smile. “You want me to drive?” he asks.

“Sure,” I say handing him the keys to my old Ford Taurus.

We drive for about ten minutes. In that ten minutes, I ask about Lucas’s day yesterday and work today. He also tells me more about the band. For a brief moment, I think about how if any other guy stopped by my work like this it would bother me, but I am, in truth, just as eager to see him as he is to see me. I’m the only one fighting it.

We walk into the side door of a small white house and then immediately down a flight of stairs into a basement.

Rhett, Eric, and Dietz are setting up their instruments. I didn't get a chance to meet Rhett the other night, so I begin to introduce myself when Dietz yells, “June, no shit, surprised to see you here!” He barrels towards me and wraps me in a hug. I am not a-hey, let’s hug even though we just met- kind of girl, so I’m awkward at best. “Loosen up kid, I don’t bite. Not unless you want me too.” Dietz laughs at his own joke.

“Hey everyone,” I give a small wave, feeling a little intimidated by the overwhelming presence that is Dietz.

“Rhett, this is June. You would’ve met her after the show if you didn't have your head up your ass,” Dietz explains, like he and I are best friends.

Lucas sits down behind a keyboard and motions to a large over-sized couch, “Get comfortable, June.” He flashes me a huge smile. Lucas looks like a kid at a carnival who has won the ultimate prize.

“June,” Rhett acknowledges my existence with a head nod.

The door opens at the top of the stairs and a rush of cold air comes down the stairs. “Eric, come help me with these bags,” Bernie yells.

“I’ll help,” I offer and greet Bernie who has grocery bags in each hand.

“Good to see you again. Want to bring these into the kitchen? I have a few more to grab from the car.”

“Got it,” I say and head into the kitchen to unpack her grocery bags.

“There’s a ton of food here,” I tell Bernie when she comes back in from outside.

“These guys eat like you wouldn't believe. Half of this will be gone before practice is over. I’m making baked ziti to start with. Do you cook?”

“A little, I’m happy to help and I'm a quick study.”

Bernie gives me a warm smile and begins telling me where to put everything and then once the pasta is in the oven securely covered with tin foil, she gets down to girl talk. “It’s nice to have another girl around here who isn't hanging off every word Dietz spills from his moronic mouth. Don't get me wrong, he can sing. But half the time he’s talking, I don't even think he knows what he’s talking about.”

“Have you known everyone long?”

“Eric and I have been together for a while, but I actually met him because I went on one very bad date with Rhett. Can we say disaster? Anyways, Eric saved me from the awful date. It was so bad, he kept calling me another girl's name throughout the date. Rhett has the nerve to act like Eric took something from him. It’s so stupid.”

“Sounds like it. What about Dietz? Have you known him long?”

“Yes! Practically my whole life. We went to grade school together. And yes, before you ask, he’s always been this way.” Bernie laughs and cracks open a beer. “Do you want one?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.”

“Suit yourself,” she shrugs.

“What about Lucas?” My curiosity wins out and I ask about him.

“He’s the only one who is new. He’s only been with the band for about six months, but he’s awesome. They’ve really got something with him.”

I agree, he really is awesome. I follow Bernie downstairs and we both take a seat on the couch watching the guys play. They all experiment with different sounds and techniques. For a music junkie like myself, this is heaven. They are really a very talented bunch of guys. By the time practice is over, I feel comfortable with everyone. Lucas was amazing at making me feel like I was a part of what was going on. Occasionally, he would stop and explain to me what he was aiming for in a song, and if I offered up suggestions, he would try it. It didn't always work, but the fact that he was open felt so good. It felt like I was part of something.

We eat, the band and Bernie and I exchange numbers before we go. I find myself yawning as I get into the passenger seat of my car with Lucas driving.

“Are we going to my place or yours, tired girl?”

“I have school in the morning, so can we go to mine?” He kisses me on my neck just below my ear and then starts the car. I realize that we didn't even talk about spending the night together, but it just felt natural. So much about this feels natural. It makes me nervous, but I don't fight it.

When we pull up into the apartment lot, I squeeze Lucas’s hand. “That’s Liz’s car. She’s home. Will you be terribly upset if we don't have sex? Not that I don't want to have sex with you because I totally do, but...”

“June, whatever you want. I’m not here just for sex, okay?” He brings my hand up to his mouth and lightly kisses it, tracing my fingers with his. This feels more intimate than a fling.

Inside the apartment, Liz has a textbook open and is sitting on the couch scratching her head looking confused. She looks up at us when we enter, but only for a second.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I ask sitting down next to Liz and shrugging out of my coat.

“I’m stuck. No matter how long I’ve been working this problem, I just can't get it. And I need to pass this class.”

“I suck at math, or I’d be all over helping you,” I tell Liz and watch as Lucas walks into my small kitchen and pours himself a cup of grape Kool-Aid from the fridge.

“I’m good with numbers. Can I take a look?” Lucas asks Liz.

“I’ll take any help I can get.” Liz hands her notebook with the problem to Lucas. Lucas grabs a pencil and tears a fresh piece of paper from the back of the notebook, then begins working the problem. After several minutes, he hands the paper to Liz. “Here try it this way. I wrote down what you were doing wrong and why?”

She looks at him a bit stunned as she studies the paper. “That’s it! I can't believe it’s that easy. Thank you.”

“No problem. Do the next one, and I’ll help you if you need it,” he tells her.

Forty minutes pass when Liz and Lucas finally finish up. During that time, I was able to work on some homework as well.

“Well hell, I thought I was going to be at this all night. Thanks for your help. I think I’ll go to Frankie’s for a drink or two,” Liz winks at me and several seconds later is out the door leaving Lucas and me alone.