Demonic and Deserted (Eternally Yours Book 4) (12 page)

Correction. He developed a ginormous raging boner.

I felt a little less guilty about salivating over Thelix’s pretty tits. It was the water. 

His massive flagpole created a tent effect beneath the sheets, and I wasn’t talking about a pup tent but a full out Barnum and Bailey extravaganza with a parade of elephants, tightrope walkers, and a dozen clowns.

Sheesh. I’d had no idea Santiago’s beefsteak was so beefy. And to think, I could have ridden that pony back when we’d been ghosters. He’d given me plenty of opportunities. Good thing I hadn’t drunk any of the water, or I would have gotten the urge to climb on top and ride him until we were both screaming.

Damn. I
did
have the urge to climb on Santiago. What was wrong with me that I was thinking of taking advantage of my critically injured, delirious friend while engaged to another man? That was wrong on so many levels, and I felt like the biggest slut in thirteen hells for even thinking it.

No pleasure is too sordid, carnal, or disgusting. 

I jerked back with a gasp as the Devil’s words rang in my ears. I looked down at my wet hands, realizing the water didn’t just make people horny when they drank it; they got turned on just by touching it. No wonder I had lost all inhibitions in the pool with Thelix. I’d been under the influence of seductive music and horny water, and now I was contemplating doing something even more carnal and sinful. Being fooled by the sirens was one thing, but I knew Aedan would never forgive me if I had sex with Santiago, and I doubted I’d be able to forgive myself. 

After Santiago fell back to sleep, I decided to put some distance between us. I grabbed a pillow and blanket and made a makeshift bed on a nearby lounge. Not that I was planning on falling asleep anytime soon. With my luck, I’d have an erotic dream and wake up riding the Santiago express. That was just the sort of thing to happen in Hell’s hotel. I was starting to wonder if I was better off inside the hotel than outside. Sure I enjoyed the air-conditioned rooms, but the emotional and mental torture was agonizing.

It doesn’t have to be, Ash. You could surrender to desire.
Thelix’s sultry voice echoed in my brain.

I covered my ears and screamed. “Shut up, Thelix!”

How was it that these demons were able to invade my thoughts?  Were they really in my head, or was it my imagination? One thing was certain: the Devil knew exactly what he was doing when he’d placed me in Santiago’s room. This was all part of his torture, trick me into cheating on Aedan and force me to live with the guilt for eternity.

He might have fooled me once, but he wasn’t fooling me again.

Aedan has probably already succumbed to his siren.

“Shut the fuck up, Thelix!” I screamed. “You will not win, do you hear me? You will not win!”

Tears streamed down my face as I squeezed my legs shut. Then an idea struck me. I closed my eyes and conjured up the image of that centerfold, of those nasty vampire demons and their all-you-can-eat buffet with the Raggedy Anns and their Aunt Flo. I thought of my grandpa wearing nothing but a leather thong and suspenders over his shaved nipples, walking around our apartment with a blowup doll tucked beneath his arm. Not only did that totally deflate my libido, it made me laugh out loud. I thought of the time I’d eaten three gluten-filled brownies and crapped my pants on an elevator, waddling like a duck while trying to locate my Purgatory apartment.  Finally, a chill swept up my spine as I remembered how we’d first gotten stuck at the bottom of Hell, chased out of our elevator by thousands of poisonous spiders.

It worked! My boner buzz was gone.

Santiago mumbled something about Melanie and her baby again, but I stayed put. I hoped his fever would wear off by morning. Even though I felt like a terrible friend for not checking on him, I knew I had to stay away from temptation. He was as dead as he could get, after all. I only wished I could have said the same for our libidos.

I
woke to a ray of sun hitting me in the eyes and a really annoying itch behind my ears.  I scratched it with my hind leg, growling as the itch intensified.

A knock sounded at the door. I didn’t know who it was, but this was Santiago’s goddamn room! No way was I letting some other demon claim stake on his territory! I jumped up and skidded across the floor. I barked several times, and then growled when I heard monkey Hitler’s grunts from the other side. I sniffed beneath the door, catching his familiar rotten stench. Yep. That was him. What did he want?

Wait a minute.

I froze when the realization hit me. Why was I on all fours sniffing the floor? I sat back on my hind legs, looking at my hands for a long moment, trying to figure out where the heck all that hair had come from. My arms and hands were covered in black fur. Instead of my beautiful manicure, I now had long black claws. My hands were fat and ugly, kind of a cross between a human hand and a dog paw. Huh? My breath hitched as my gaze traveled to my legs.

OMIGOD!

I had dog legs! Black, furry, dog legs! And what was that wagging black thing sticking out the back of my skirt? Was there a dog behind me? I spun around several cycles trying to catch the damn thing, but it was always a step ahead of me. Finally, I gave up. Panting and dizzy, I fell to the floor.

I ran my hands over my face. My nose protruded out several inches and it was wet. Wet! My jaw felt elongated, too, and my teeth were as sharp as knives. My hair frizz was gone, replaced by thick, soft fur, and my ears were long and floppy.

This couldn’t be happening!

How did I wake up with dog legs and furry hands? I stood up on my hind legs, which was awkward and hurt my back, but I wasn’t about to crawl around on my hands. That thing kept wagging behind me, but it helped keep me balanced, kind of like a rudder. My legs wobbled as I walked over to the marble vanity beside Santiago’s bed.

I screamed when I saw my reflection, only it didn’t come out as a scream. It came out as a howl. I slapped my hand over my snout and fell onto the padded seat, alternating between swearing and whimpering as I stared back at Ash’s eyes and Jack’s snout. Though I still had Ash’s neck, torso, and boobs, most of me was definitely Lab, and that long black thing slapping the bench was a tail! Worst of all was that my tassel tit bra only covered two of my six nipples!

What the heck?

Then I remembered Satan pointing his wand at me and muttering “Canis Lupus” right after he’d called me a bitch.  That asshole cursed me and made me a dog. That son-of-a-bitch had better change me back, or I swore I’d go Kujo on him. I let out a low growl while flexing my surprisingly large muscles. Hmmm. Did Satan’s spell come with steroids? 

“Who the fuck are you?”

I spun around. Santiago was sitting at the edge of the bed aiming the cat slut’s scepter at my head as the smell of fear poured from his body. His charred stump looked horrifying, and his skin was still pale, but the resolve in his eyes told me he wasn’t going to be deterred by his injury.

“Santiago.” I held up my hands. “It’s me, Ash.”

His eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what you are, but you’re not my friend.”

“Yes, I am,” I whimpered. “Satan turned me into a dog.”

He jerked back. “What? Why?”

I let out a low growl as I lifted my leg and scratched behind my ears again. “I don’t know why, but damn my head itches.”

He just gaped at me with this deer-in-the-headlights look. “How can I be sure it’s you?”

I spun around, protruding my butt in the air while looking at him over my shoulder. “Sniff my butt. You’ll see I’m the same Ash.”

He made a face as if I’d just told him it was bath time. “I’m not going to sniff your ass.”

“Oops.” I spun back around, slapping my hands over my mouth as my tail smacked the bench. “I don’t know why I said that. It’s like my brain is part dog, too.”

Gripping the sides of the bed, he leaned forward eyeing me intently, as his tight grey undershorts stretched across his glorious man parts, his sturdy soldier giving me a good morning salute. “Tell me something only Ash would say.”

I licked my lips before jutting a finger at his groin. “You should have warned me you had such a big boner.”

His jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”

“It was calling to me like a beacon. I had to sleep on the couch.” I held up my hand, pointing to my engagement ring, which was now obscured by long, black hair. “I’m fucking engaged, Santiago.”

Santiago shuddered, giving me this look as if he’d been sucking on a sour lemon. Holy shit! Sergeant Santiago Sanchez, the soldier with the beautiful bod who’d been trying to get into my pants ever since I’d first joined the ghosting squad, was repulsed at the thought of having sex with me. In the past, his attention had always put me in an awkward position, because he was hot and I was committed to Aedan. I should have been elated that he no longer found me attractive, but I wasn’t. His rejection would have been easier to accept, if I knew his disinterest was because I’d gained an extra fifty pounds, or maybe he suddenly realized he was gay. But, no. Santiago wasn’t attracted to me because I was a fucking flea bag.

I yelped at the sound of a loud bang on the door.

“Ash?” Aedan boomed. “Are you in there?”

Even from across the room, I could hear the jealousy and suspicion in the slight crack in his voice. I knew Aedan thought I’d slept with Santiago. After I’d already surrendered to the siren, I didn’t blame Aedan for not trusting me.

But, seriously, why would Santiago want to fuck a dog? 

I jumped to my feet, surprised when Aedan banged on the door again.

“Ash, let me in before I have to break the door down!”

“Oh, shit!” I clutched my throat as I turned to Santiago. “Aedan’s pissed. Please don’t tell him what I said about your boner. Wait a minute!” I whimpered as I looked down at my furry legs. “He can’t see me like this! I‘m covered in hair and I have dog breath! Tell him I ate gluten, and I’m stuck on the toilet.”

“Okay, you’re Ash.” Santiago threw up his hands. “Look, we’re trapped at the bottom of hell, and I’m missing a leg. Your dog breath is the least of our problems.”

“I’m sorry, Santiago.” I hung my head, whimpering, when I realized what a jerk I’d been. I might have been a dog, but at least I wasn’t a three-legged dog. Santiago’s leg was gone, and he didn’t even have a crutch or an artificial limb. How was he supposed to get around hell like that?

“Go get the door,” he commanded rather impatiently like he was my ghosting sergeant again.

“Open the damned door, Ash!” Aedan hollered.

My shoulders sagged and my tail drooped as I shuffled my big, ugly legs across the room. I rested my forehead on the door, whimpering. “Aedan, before I open, there’s something you should know.”

“Did you two have sex?” His angry baritone rattled the door. “So help me, I’ll knock his teeth in.”

“No. We didn’t have sex,” I groaned. “The Devil cursed me.”

“What do you mean, he cursed you? Ash, open the door before I bang it down!”

I scowled down at my furry hand as I gripped the handle and unbolted the door. I swung it open and then stepped back into the shadows. Sure, Aedan had breathed in my rancid morning breath and seen my raccoon eyes and tousled hair before, but to see me covered in hair with a protruding snout was a different kind of ugly, and I couldn’t help but feel ashamed.

The look of horror in Aedan’s eyes would have been comical had I not been the object of his repulsion. “What the Devil?”

My gaze shot to his as heat pricked my skin. “I’m Jack, Aedan. He turned me into a black Lab.”

His bright eyes darkened as his tanned skin flushed several shades of red. “That son-of-a-bitch. He will pay for this.”

“You will do nothing!” I stomped a paw as fear tied my stomach in knots. “Do you want to be thrown outside? I’m better off than Santiago.” I waved a hand at my friend, his bloody stump hanging off the edge of the bed, a look of agony in his eyes. “He’s missing a leg.”

Horny Hitler tugged Aedan’s tunic. “Come. Master waits for you to break fast.”

I sensed the rage that simmered beneath Aedan’s hooded eyes as he balled his fists. “Back off, you little freak.”

When Aedan kicked Hitler in the gut, the primate squealed as he flew out the door. But then the evil dictator grabbed the door frame, his long nails shredding the wood. Aedan slammed the door, heedless of the monkey’s tail and fingers.

The demon’s broken tail flapped against the door as he howled.

“Aedan.” I covered my ears with my hands and turned pleading eyes on my fiancé. “He’s stuck.” Sure, the bastard deserved to get far worse than a broken tail, but his high-pitched squeals were killing my eardrums.

Aedan snarled. “Serves him right.”

The door rattled, and much to my relief, the twitching tail disappeared, but I knew that wasn’t the last we’d hear from Hitler. He was probably dreaming up some sort of Nazi torture for the two of us.

I followed Aedan into the bedroom, keeping a few paces behind and hoping he wouldn’t stare at my ugly face. His thighs certainly looked nice and thick in those tights. Really nice. I knew his round ass would have looked just as yummy hadn’t it been for that stupid tunic.

“Good God, man. You’re a mess.” Aedan knelt beside Santiago, examining his stump.

I mentally chided myself for letting a string of drool hang from my bottom lip while Aedan was bent over. Yep. I was right. His ass looked delicious, but now was not the time to go into heat.  Too bad, because just looking at that ass made me want to hump the stuffing out of him.

Santiago hissed as Aedan ran a hand over the end of his stump. “Easy.”

I had to admire Santiago. If it had been me with the missing leg, I would have been writhing all over the bed in sheer agony. Shoot. I had a more dramatic reaction when I stubbed a toe. How did this guy keep it together? 

Aedan stood, frowning down at Santiago. “What happened?”

Santiago leaned back with a groan. “I’d like to ask the same of you guys.”

“We were on our way to the wedding,” Aedan said as his mouth set in a grim line, “and demonling spiders chased us off the elevator.”