Embracing Eternity (4 page)

“No. Evangelos will come running to help Philomela. I promise, Evan will always come for Meela.” His words resounded through her soul like a gong, carried on the low timbre of truth.

It shook her. No one made promises to a demon. No one swore allegiance to Meela. No one who ever meant it.

Something scurried through the refuse and Meela could make out the squeaks and snuffles of a lesser demon in the darkness. The minions were here and the Master was sure to follow.

“Go,” she said, pushing him. He had to go, get away from her. She needed distance before she threw herself into his arms and begged him to take her with him, to hide her from the Master forever.

A futile wish, but one she had no doubt Evan would try to fulfill.

It would be safer for them both once he was gone.

Evan let his hands drop and stepped away. He gave her a formal half bow, half nod and vanished, returning to Heaven, leaving her alone.

She backed into the corner and leaned against the crumbling plaster wall. With a tremulous sigh, she raised her fingertips to her lips. The taste of Evan and his power lingered and her body shook with unrequited need. She shouldn’t have let him kiss her.

“It seems I have arrived but a moment too late, and yet in time to witness your downfall. You have failed me again.”

Meela jerked away from the wall with a gasp.

“M-master?” Satan was here, somewhere in the darkness. She searched the blackness, straining to catch any small movement, frantic for any sign of where Lucifer might be hiding.

“Twice. The angel Evangelos has been within your grasp twice, and yet you did not bring him to me.” His voice echoed from the void, but she couldn’t tell how far away Lucifer was.

She inched along the wall, toward the corner and, she hoped, away from the ruler of Hell.

“Explain yourself!” Lucifer’s roar shook the walls. A shower of plaster dust filtered down from the ceiling, making her nose itch and her eyes burn. His temper exploded in a flash of fire big enough, bright enough to illuminate the entire theater.

The fireball engulfed her, singeing her hair and skin. Dropping to her knee, Meela threw her arms over her face.

“I have a plan!” she screamed.

The ferocity of the fire dimmed.

“A plan?” The Master sounded intrigued. He stepped from the darkness, so close he could easily grab her. She shuddered and scrambled for some idea that might appease him.

“Yes, a plan.” A plan. A plan. She needed a fucking plan, fast.

“Explain, demoness.”

“I’m, uh, luring him in.” She slowly lowered her arms and rose to her feet. Keeping a wary eye on Lucifer, she eased away from the Devil, not stopping until her back hit the corner.

“To what end? He looked to be well-lured and a ready feast to me.”

Think, think, think
.

“To…season the capture.” Yes, that was it. “How much better will his capture be when filled with the bitterness of betrayal?”

“Ah!” the Master crooned and banked his fire. “I like this.”

He grinned, baring his long canines. The grin turned to a snarl and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You promise me a betrayal, hellbitch?”

Oh no, what had she done? No, she couldn’t, not to Evan.

Satan leaned close, so close she could smell the sulfur on his breath. Bile rose in her throat and her heart pounded so hard it felt like it would explode.

“Yes,” she said, anxious to pacify him and escape. It wasn’t a pledge. Not really. Just an agreement. An unenforceable agreement.

“I do not trust you. Say it.”

“There will be a betrayal,” she hedged.

Lucifer moved to stand before her. Raising a hand to her throat, he forced her chin upward. The fires grew once more. “I would have your oath.” She trembled. What could she do? She had trapped herself in a corner, in both word and actions.

The hand at her throat tightened.

Her throat knotted tight, strangling her as surely as his hand, but she forced herself to speak.

“I pledge to betray the angel.”

The oath formed on her tongue, squirming to break free. It grew, swelling until it filled her mouth, writhed in her throat.

Meela gagged. Heaves racked her and the oath was loosed. It crawled free, skittering over her face, through her hair, to settle at the base of her skull. There it pierced her, its tines sinking into her like nails, hammering its way into her brain.

Lucifer cocked his head to one side. He put one finger in front of her, his talon a mere hairsbreadth from her nose. That finger twitched and her body jerked violently, tugged by his will as if she were no more than a marionette.

Pledge made, oath sworn. She would have no choice but to fulfill it.

Evan, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry
.
She only hoped he was smart enough not to trust a demon.

Lucifer smiled, his yellowed fangs gleaming in the gloom, satisfied the oath had taken. His grip on her throat lessened and he pulled back.

“With that, I can afford to wait. But you will not hoard the power. I am your prince and I won’t let even my favorite whore withhold such a treasure.”

In a blink, his taloned hand swept out, raking fire across her face. She choked back a scream and he snatched her from the corner. Her feet dangled as he lifted her to lick at the streaks of power-laced blood welling in the wounds.

“Do not ever forget who is your Master, Meela,” Lucifer rasped. The rough whisper so close to her ear sent a thick wave of bile up her throat. “This angel may be a diverting toy, but you belong to me. Everything in you, everything you touch, belongs to me. Your soul is mine.”

With a sudden, vicious snarl, he bit into her shoulder and she cried out in pain. His massive canines ripped through muscle and cracked bone as he tore her flesh open. She hung helpless in his grasp, sobbing in agony. But she didn’t cry for mercy, didn’t even try to stop him. She knew better. To beg or fight would only increase the fervor of the attack.

Lucifer had no mercy left in him.

Meela pressed her lips together, fighting to be silent. He’d taken too much from her already. This was the only thing left for her to control and nothing in damnation would convince her to let the screams echoing in her head loose.

His saliva burned her ravaged flesh like acid, sizzling as it mixed with her blood. He snarled and growled, gnawing at her, devouring the sweet power Evan had given her.

Weakness spread. He was taking it all. Every last bit of it.

She lost her ability to maintain the illusion of humanity. Clothing vanished and scales erupted over her skin. Her tongue writhed as it forked in her mouth. Somewhere in her head, a dull buzz began, a ringing in her ears that grew louder and louder until the high-pitched whine drowned out everything but the animalistic slurps and snarls of Lucifer feeding. The shadows of the theater began to blend together and darkness overwhelmed her.

She barely noticed when he dropped her. One moment her feet dangled in the air and the next she was staring at his.

“His power is almost as delectable as your fear.” Lucifer laughed, a rolling rumble that made her stomach lurch. The same laugh she’d heard every time his body pinned her to the floor in Hell.

She closed her eyes as tightly as she could and banished the thought.
Don’t remember. Don’t give him that.

Then, in the blink of an eye, Lucifer was gone.

But his spies weren’t. In the darkness, she could see two sets of glowing red eyes. Two imps continued to watch her for the Master. With any luck, they would keep their distance. Weak as she was, it wouldn’t take more than these to drain her completely.

And send her straight back to Hell where Lucifer waited.

She took a deep breath and forced away that thought.

Instead, she closed her eyes and pictured Evan, remembered how his kiss warmed her. The oath stirred in complaint, but she ignored it. Instead she thought of Evan’s gift, the power he’d given so freely. The remnant of that power stirred inside her and its heat flowed toward her shredded shoulder.

A piece of him, left to guard her.

It spread over the wound like a soothing balm, healing her body and comforting her heart.

Chapter Four

“You have done it again.” Raphael’s indictment hit him as soon as he transported himself to Heaven.

Evan flinched, considering a return trip to Earth before his feet had a chance to settle on firm ground. The three archangels met him, a clear sign that Evan was treading on dangerous ground. His stomach lurched and for a moment, he simply stared at them, uncertain what to do. He’d never been chastised before.

In that moment he would have dearly loved to feign ignorance but the inherent honesty of Heaven pricked at him.

He straightened his spine and held his wings stiff against himself. “I have,” he admitted. “She needed sustenance. Better to provide it than to leave her dependent on hunting Creation.”

The three seraphim exchanged a look that had Evan itching to escape. Silence and the burden of his own guilt weighed on him.

Merciful Heavens, say something, anything.
What would they do to him this time? Formal recall was likely, but feeding her hadn’t been forbidden. He hadn’t earned a punishment. At least he didn’t believe he had. Skirting the edge of the Law was new territory for him and truth be told, he had no idea what to expect.

He reached back and began to stroke one of his flight feathers, hoping the gentle tug of preening would calm him.

Finally, Gabriel stepped forward, his face grim. “Evan, you were asked to stay away from Philomela, warned that feeding her could have dire consequences, were you not?”

“I was, however Raphael gave me no direct orders. I am not in violation of any Law.”

Gabriel huffed in annoyance. “The order was implied.”

“Implied but not directly given. You, of all angels, should see the technicalities have been met.” He was relying on very fragile loopholes, but they were all he had.

Gabriel fluttered his wings. “You risk much on a technicality.”

“What of the safety of the humans?” Raphael asked. “You must recognize that demons are a threat to Creation. It’s your duty to guard it, protect the people. How do you justify empowering a demon and setting her loose on Earth?”

The accusation stung. He’d always done everything in his power to protect humans. Always. Their safety was his top priority.

“She has no desire to hunt or harm.”

“Philomela has proved herself very capable of harm over the eons. She has relished chaos and pain. Just months ago she tried to lure Renatus and joined in his torment.”

“And yet when she left me, flush with power, she did nothing. Do we not believe in forgiveness? Her past is behind her and now she seeks only peace.” He was more confident of it now than ever. She’d had ample opportunity to do him harm, to take his power and use it against him and Creation.

“How can you be certain of this?” Michael shook his head. “I cannot see it. Only a short while ago, she unleashed a slew of her underlings upon the Earthly Plane. This is not the action of one searching for peace.”

Evan took a steadying breath and addressed the three. “I know Meela. We may not have been close, but I knew her well. Since her fall, I’ve met her many times, enough that I can see her habits, judge her moods. She has been increasingly reluctant to feed on the lifeforce of humans. That reluctance peaked this week. I’ve felt her sorrow and I firmly believe that the deepest desire of Meela’s heart is to return home, to Heaven. I want to help her.”

“And if it’s not possible?”

“It must be, Gabriel. I cannot believe that anyone who desires it so wholeheartedly is truly beyond redemption. Not even the Fallen.”

Gabriel and Michael gaped at him.

“Did you not tell them, Raphael?” Evan eyed the Archangel of Guardians.

“Tell us what?” Michael turned toward Raphael, his hands closing into fists.

“I saw no point. The Fallen are lost to us. Philomela cannot return.” Raphael’s tone indicated he considered the matter closed, but Evan wouldn’t let it go without answers. If Meela was truly lost, he’d accept it. He’d considered her lost for ten thousand years, after all.

But he needed to be sure.

“There has been no review of the written Law then?” Evan asked.

“No. I saw no point in pursuing the matter.”

“If the Law is in question, I should have been consulted,” Gabriel broke in.

“Would one of you be kind enough to tell me what cause this is?” Michael demanded. “I do not like being left in the dark in matters concerning demons.”

“Forgive me.” Evan gave all three of the archangels a small bow of deference. “I mentioned my quest to Raphael, although not in its entirety. I wish to know what I must do to redeem Meela and bring her back to Heaven.”

Gabriel’s face went slack with shock and his wings drooped.

“For once I doubt the truth when I hear it,” Michael said. “You intend to bring a demon into Heaven?”

“No, I intend to bring an angel home.”

“Evan, she’s not an angel.” Gabriel’s voice was kind but the words stung.

“She is and she belongs in Heaven, with me. With us.” He could not allow them to sway him on this matter. Meela needed him to bring her home.

He needed her to come home.

“It is not like you to be so defiant,” Raphael said, his tone gentle but chiding. “Even if by some miracle there was a way to bring her back from Damnation, you cannot expect anything to have changed between you. You were never the object of her affections, Evan. That is not likely to change.”

The truth of Raphael’s words stabbed at him. Meela had never loved him. While he still dreamed of the day that might change, he knew it was unlikely.

Her lack of love for him didn’t matter. It never had. He loved her, totally, completely, to the depths of his soul. Nothing would ever change that.

“I am not doing this in hopes of earning her love,” he said, quietly but with firm determination. “I do love her. I tried to stop when she Fell, but my heart is fixed. Because I love her I want to see her happy, even if that happiness does not include me. All I ask is that the possibility of redemption be investigated.”

The three archangels shared that look again, as if they were conferring on something to which he was not privy.

Finally, Gabriel spoke. “Very well, Evan. I will investigate Meela’s status but until I have completed this task and rendered my final opinion on the matter, you are ordered to stop offering her sustenance. We do not want you visiting her and you are absolutely forbidden to offer her any more of your power.”

* * * * *

Evan sent a call to Ren before visiting. The last interruption had been more embarrassing than he wanted to admit. Angels were not known for their sexual modesty, and Evan’s reserved ways had often drawn ridicule from the others.

Thankfully this time Ren and Adam were not otherwise engaged and Evan was immediately invited to enter their house.

“Evan, welcome to my home. It is good to see you again,” Ren said as soon as Evan appeared in the living room.

Home. The word took Evan aback for a moment. The idea that an angel would see any place but Heaven as home felt strange and yet he could see the love for this house in Ren’s eyes.

“I thank you for your hospitality, my friend. I trust you and Adam are well.”

“Very much so. He is still at work but should be home in an hour. Will you stay long enough to greet him?”

“If I wouldn’t be intruding. It would be good to see him again.”

“Sit, please,” Ren said, waving toward a chair. “You have likely come for information. I haven’t completed my research but I will share what I have found.”

“Good news, I hope.” Evan perched on the edge of the seat, too anxious to sink into its comforting embrace.

“Good or bad depends entirely upon one’s perspective.”

Evan bit back a smile. Renatus was ever the lawyer.

“Then perhaps you should simply share and let me determine how good it is.”

Ren nodded and a scroll appeared in his hand. He peeled back the gilded cover and rolled out the thick sheaf of pages.

“I have found no legal precedent for the redemption of a demon. Likewise I have found no basis for a human soul to be redeemed after it has been sent to Hell. While this is hardly unexpected, I know you were hoping for something different.”

Evan’s wings drooped over the arms of the chair and he leaned back, dejected. “So you have found nothing to help Philomela’s case?”

Ren shot him a look over the top edge of the scroll. “Technically speaking, Philomela has no case. Her trial ended ten thousand years ago and we are exploring a theoretical situation.”

Evan clamped his lips shut. Theoretical, his pinfeathers. There was nothing theoretical about saving Meela, nothing at all. He had every intention of seeing her back in Heaven and wouldn’t stop pursuing this until she was home.

“Now,” Ren continued, “there is a precedent for human souls who have a near-death experience but never fully enter Hell’s gate. In these cases the soul hasn’t completely lost its grip on humanity. Because it is still human and has not lost mortality, when it returns to the body, the person has an opportunity to make changes in life that may ultimately lead to redemption.”

Ren’s words trailed off as he spread the scroll across the coffee table and leaned over it. He occasionally mumbled to himself and Evan suspected he’d lost himself in the scroll. Ren flipped over a leaf and dragged his finger over the words on the new page.

“Renatus, what does this mean for Meela?”

“Hmm?” Ren looked up and blinked in confusion.

“This news, with the humans who escape Hell and are redeemed. What does this mean for Meela and her redemption?”

“Why, nothing. She’s a demon. She’s never had any humanity in her. If there is a correlation between those humans and the Fallen, I fail to see it. I shall continue to look, though.”

“Then why mention it?” Evan snapped, rising to his feet to pace the breadth of the room.

Ren stood, the scroll dangling from one hand and his expression one of bewilderment. “I know you are anxious, but you must understand that due process must be followed. We have no evidence that demons can be redeemed at all, or that they should be.”

“You do not believe she should be redeemed?” Evan stopped short, trying to ignore the disappointment Ren’s words brought. He’d hoped that Ren’s anger would have eased some once he knew Meela was changing.

“Evan, please…” Ren paused, noticeably choosing his words, and Evan tensed. As an Angel of Annunciation, Ren spoke truth to those who did not wish to hear it. It was not in his nature to temper his words or attempt diplomacy. For him to do so now was not encouraging.

“Please just say it, Ren. Your honesty is an admirable trait. Don’t try to evade truth to salvage my feelings.”

“Very well.” Ren gave a formal half bow in assent. “I understand that you have affection for Meela. You always have. But your feelings are not shared by any resident of Heaven, myself included. She was not just one of the demons who tortured me in my time of punishment, she was a leader. Because I was part of her trial, she blamed me and was determined to make me suffer.

“And she did, every minute of every hour I spent at the demons’ mercy, Meela was there. If anything, I have more reason to despise her. No. I do not want her to be redeemed. I don’t believe she deserves forgiveness for anything.”

Every word Ren spoke was a blow to Evan’s heart. He’d known Meela wasn’t loved, that the angels didn’t trust her, but it had never occurred to him that she might be considered unforgivable. Worst of all, he had no words to speak in her defense. She had rightfully earned their ire. Even if she returned home, she could be an eternal outcast.

“Evan, what did you expect?” Ren asked gently. “She is demon, with no kindness in her. You love the cherub you remember, not the creature she is now.”

“She is not fully demon. I’ve spoken with her. I’ve held her and felt her soul. She is still an angel. She still feels love. She still has compassion in her. She could have had me at her mercy and made no move to harm me. She urged me to save myself. These are not the actions of a true demon.”

“You see what you want to see.”

“And you are blind to what you do not wish to be true.” With a frustrated sigh, Evan sank into the chair. “If you truly hate her so, why are you helping me? Surely this goes beyond simple gratitude for watching over your human.”

Ren crossed the room to perch on the ottoman by Evan’s feet. “We are much alike,” he said quietly. “Neither of us really fit in, did we? Despite our private natures, I have ever considered you a friend, someone I could rely on when others may forget me, and someone who would stand by me when others turned their backs. My affection for you far outweighs any displeasure I feel toward a demon.”

Evan didn’t know what to say to that. No one had ever expressed any deep love for him before. He was the awkward one, the one others avoided. To know Ren considered him so worthy left him beyond words.

He pulled a wing forward and began running his fingertips over a disheveled flight feather. He didn’t say anything until he had it smooth and orderly once more.