Exiled (16 page)

“I know the word sounds awful, but let’s be honest. I’m not saying that any of you treat me like some cheap, tawdry lay. God, far from it. I’m so lucky. I mean how stupid does a girl have to be to sign a contract like that and jet off to some remote island not 
having any idea what she’s getting into? I’m damn lucky you all didn’t turn out to be some monsters bent on making me a sex slave or selling me into slavery when you were done with me.

“But none of how wonderfully I’m treated changes the fact that I basically sold myself. For sex. I didn’t want my mother to know that. To 
ever
 know it. She would die if she thought that I’d ever agreed to something like this out of gratitude for what had been done for her.”

“And is that why you agreed to come here? Gratitude?”

“Of course. I knew nothing about any of you. My reasons may have changed or at least my feelings, once I arrived here, but when you were all just nameless, faceless entities and I received the summons from Xander, I felt like I owed him a debt I could never repay and if all he wanted from me was six months of my life, nothing was too much to give in repayment for my mother’s life.”

“And if he wants more than six months?”

Talia frowned, her brows bunched together in consternation. “Is that what he wants, Garon? I mean he told me he had no intention of ever letting me go, but you and I both know that’s not likely. Were they abstract words? Said in the heat of the moment? I don’t really know what he wants and I’m afraid to ask. I don’t want to ruin this wonderful fantasy. I’m afraid to do or say anything to make it all go away. And so I haven’t broached the subject since the night on the beach when he told me why he really brought me here.”

“Lie back,” he said in a gentle voice. “You’re burning while we’re sitting here talking.”

She reclined again, knocking her shades down in frustration. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so forthcoming with Garon. His loyalty was to Xander, and he’d likely tell Xander their entire conversation.

Garon’s big hands descended on her body, rubbing the sunblock over her skin in slow, sensuous sweeps.

“It should be obvious to you that Xander has no desire for you to leave his side,” he said. “And you said he said as much. He doesn’t blithely say things he doesn’t mean. He’s very exacting and focused.”

She reached up to push her glassed over the top of her head again. “Obvious? Garon, he’s hinted that he has deeper feelings for me. I don’t know if that’s the right word for it. I’m not sure what his feelings are. Perhaps it’s better to say that he’s admitted to having a preoccupation for me for some time. Now what that means is anyone’s guess. We have a contract. He says that was his way of getting me here. Okay, I’m here. What now? And what does he 
mean
 by saying he never wants to let me go?”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you to decide what your feelings are for him.”

She went silent as Garon continued the soothing massage with the sunblock cream. Xander had asked her what her feelings were the night on the beach and she’d neatly avoided the question. Instead she’d told him she was ready for him to make love to her, and maybe she’d thought that was statement enough.

Here she was frustrated because Xander wasn’t very forthcoming when in fact he’d been far more up front than she had been. He’d put himself out there, admitting to…at least an attraction for her, and she’d given him nothing back.

“He probably thinks this is just a contract for me,” she said quietly. “Something I have to do or something I feel obligated to do.”

“Is it? I think it’s a valid question.”

She closed her eyes as he cupped her breasts and carefully smoothed the lotion over the plump mounds. Her nipples hardened immediately, begging for more attention.

“At first it was,” she admitted quietly. “But then…”

“Then?” he prompted.

She frowned. “This is all very embarrassing.”

He dropped one hand down between her thighs, sliding his fingers through her folds until he found her clit. He ran his finger over and then around the nub before withdrawing his hand. Damn tease.

But then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. It was startling. And unexpected. He was affectionate with her. They all were. But it always seemed to be in a group setting. Xander was always present. When he wasn’t, the others took very good care of her, and they were at times, intimate, but this went beyond the task of pleasuring her. It was more…personal.

His tongue swept over her lips and then probed until she parted her lips to let him inside. He didn’t maul her with his mouth, nor was he forceful. It was a gentle, sweet kiss that made her ache.

“You should know by now that nothing should embarrass you. At least not with us. I would hope you feel comfortable with me by now. You can say anything without fear of judgment, and I certainly won’t make you feel shame for whatever it is you’re thinking.”

Talia ran a hand through a length of her hair and fiddled nervously with the ends. “I’m not sure I want Xander to hear this yet. I mean when he does, I’d prefer it to be from me.”

“I don’t report private conversations back to Xander. Not unless they are a potential threat to him.”

She sighed again. “The thing is, I’ve always been a little half in love with him. Maybe even more. But I’ve always thought it was a crush that would go away with time and distance. I mean he did a lot for me and my mother. What if I’m confusing gratitude for love? But the more time I spend with him, the more bewildered I am because I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do or feel. If he only intends to keep me for six months and then send me on my way, then what kind of an idiot would it make me to fall in love with him? With any of you?”

He lifted one eyebrow and surveyed her with that half smile 
she had quickly come to associate with him. “Then you do feel something for us.”

Her cheeks bloomed with heat. Trust her tongue to get away from her.

“That sounds stupid. I’m sorry. I don’t know what the hell I feel. I wish I did. I know I should just relax, go with the flow, enjoy being surrounded by men who treat me like a goddess, but I overthink things. I always have. It’s one of my faults.”

Garon pressed his lips to hers again and he brought his hand up to touch her cheek. “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we all have feelings for you as well?”

Chapter 16

Talia’s head was spinning as Garon drew away, his gaze stroking over her face. “What?”

“Surely you can’t be surprised by this. Or do you think we often have a woman here that we pamper and lavish attention on?”

She didn’t respond because she really didn’t want to put her foot in her mouth.

“You do, don’t you?” Garon said, realization lighting in his eyes. He shook his head and sent her a look of exasperation.

“You can’t blame me for thinking it,” she defended. “I was sent a contract. I went through medical exams. I was ‘briefed’ on what to expect. It was all very clinical, as if it had been done a hundred times before. I honestly think or thought that I was the latest in a long line of diversions or at the very least the latest entertainment.”

“Such an interesting conversation you two are having,” Sebastien drawled.

Talia closed her eyes as mortification swept over her.

“Shut the hell up, Bastien,” Garon said fiercely. “This isn’t the time for your fucking sarcasm.”

Sebastien strolled over, then pulled up one of the chairs to sit at the foot of Talia’s lounger. “On the contrary, I have no intention of being sarcastic. Are you going to correct her assumption or shall I?” he said to Garon.

Talia frowned, unsure of whether this was all a big joke to Sebastien. She and Garon had been having a serious conversation. She had no desire to become the brunt of Sebastien’s amusement.

“It depends on entirely on your presentation,” Garon said sharply.

Sebastien curled his lip at Garon and then focused his attention on Talia. “Despite what you may think, you’re the only woman Xander has brought to the villa. This is his…sanctuary. It’s where he’s spent most of his exile from Cristofino. I won’t lie to you and say there’ve been no other women or that he’s sat and pined endlessly for you. But none have captured his attention as you have.”

He paused and drew in a breath. A shadow of uncertainty flashed over his face, surprising her. Sebastien was nothing if not cocksure.

When he found her gaze again, his eyes burned with intensity. Like he was sending her a clear message that he was dead serious.

“None have captured 
my
 attention as you have,” he finally added.

“What are you trying to say?” she whispered.

“Perhaps it would be best if I were to speak for myself,” Xander said from behind Talia.

She turned rapidly, nearly pulling a muscle in her neck. Xander stood there, hands shoved into his pockets, staring at her, Garon and Sebastien.

“Leave us,” he said to the others.

Talia blew out her breath in frustration. Was she doomed to never be able to complete a conversation where she stood to gain information to help her make sense of this whole situation?

Garon and Sebastien stood. Garon ran his hand over her cheek before departing on Sebastien’s heels. Xander walked around the lounger so Talia could better see him and then he glanced upward at the sun.

“I don’t think you should remain out here any longer. I don’t want you to get too much sun and grow ill. Why don’t we go inside, have something to eat.”

She shook her head mutinously. “Oh no. Not the ordeal of an awkward meal again. This is starting to make me crazy. If you want to speak for yourself, then do it now.”

He cracked a slight smile. “Come, Talia. I’m not having this conversation with you out here in the midday sun. It’s too intense. If you prefer, we’ll go to my suite and Wickersham will bring us a light snack so you can eat while I talk. I won’t make you wait.”

She eyed him suspiciously.

“I give you my word,” he said in amusement.

She sighed. “Okay, you win. We go inside. But if we’re eating snacks, I want something full of sugar and calories.”

He smiled indulgently and reached to help her out of the lounger. “I think that can be arranged.”

Twenty minutes later, Talia was sitting cross-legged on Xander’s bed with a tray of beautifully decorated confections in front of her. She ate one of the mini cupcakes and then licked the frosting from her thumb with relish.

There were chocolates too. And what looked to be a cake ball on a stick coated with white chocolate. It was beyond awesome.

But even as distracted as she was temporarily by the goodies Wickersham had provided, she wasn’t going to let Xander off the hook this time. She wanted—needed—answers.

“Are you having any?” she asked, extending one of the long toothpick-looking sticks out to him.

He paced in front of the bed and shook his head.

“Why are you so tense, Xander? You’ve been kind of weird ever since the night you…made love to me.”

He stopped and looked sideways at her. “Weird? In what way?”

She waved her hand in dismal. “Bad choice of words. Let’s not get sidetracked here. I realize I’m supposed to be submissive. I know I signed a contract—a document you’ve basically said was a ruse. So am I to abide by it? How much of this whole thing is…fake?”

He scowled and stalked to the bed, sitting on the edge in front of her. “Not a damn thing here is fake. I did what I felt I had to do to get you here. And no, I don’t want you to leave. I can’t be any more explicit than that.”

She lowered one of the chocolates back to the tray. “I need to know what’s happening here, Xander. Garon and Sebastien have both hinted that they have feelings for me, that you have feelings for me. You told me that you were attracted to me all those years ago. You have to understand how very confused I am right now. Am I supposed to feel guilty over the fact that I have very real feelings for the men you have taking care of me? Men you’ve said yourself will be having sex with me?”

“I’m more interested in your feelings for me,” Xander said quietly.

She swallowed hard and summoned her courage. “I think I’m in love with you.”

He didn’t look entirely thrilled with her statement.

“You think?”

She took another deep breath and prayed she didn’t regret putting herself on the line like this.

“I’m pretty sure. If you heard my conversation with Garon, you already know the reasons I was uncertain. I’ve always been a little in love with you, but I worried it was youthful infatuation or that it would pass. But being here with you…It just feels right. It feels so perfect. Like it was meant to be.”

She broke off, swallowing rapidly. She was getting carried away and sounding sillier by the minute. She lowered her head in embarrassment.

Xander reached out to cup her chin and he gently tilted it upward until she faced him again. “Meant to be is right, Talia. You were meant to be mine.”

“But what does that mean?” she whispered. “I don’t fit into your world, Xander.”

He emitted a harsh laugh. “What world? My world is what I make it. My world is here while the battle rages on in my country. Things may never be resolved there. Whatever happens, I want you here. With me.”

“And the others? How am I supposed to feel about them? I can’t do what it is you want me to do and not have my emotions involved. I realize I’m new to sex, but it means something to me.”

Xander smiled. “They are rather emotionally involved with you too, my love.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

She couldn’t quite wrap her head around that one.

“I trust them implicitly. I trust them with my safety. I trust them with your safety. I know they would never betray me. Knowing they have feelings for you only solidifies my confidence that they’ll never allow anything to happen to you.”

“You must know that I have to return. I mean, to my mother. I can’t just stay here forever.”

“Of course not,” he soothed. “I will, of course, take you to Paris to visit your mother. I had a long talk with her today on the phone. She sends you her love. I promised her I’d take good care of you.”