Falling Behind (Falling Series) (7 page)

“Fine.”
He had just made the turn heading for the White Oak when he pulled the e-brake.

The tires squealed. My body was forced into the door. Squeezing my eyes shut, I held my breath. The truck fish tailed
, whipping around and came to a sudden stop. Someone’s screaming pierced my ears and I forced my eyes open. When my throat started aching, I realized
I
was the one screaming.  I looked out the window to see a telephone pole blocking me in. If the truck would have slid any further, my door would have been smashed in and I would have been crushed. My heart was already breaking. How could he do this to me? Tears streamed down my face. I turned to look at Josh.

Josh sat behind the wheel, right hand on the gear shift and an evil grin smeared on his face. His body
lunged toward me. I couldn’t get out. My breath came out at a short, quick pace. My fingers started to tingle. My vision blurred. I felt as if I was going to hurl all over him. My stomach twisted and my heart rate increased. I
couldn’t
get out!
He
was going to force me to be with him. I had to get out. How?

Crap!
I could feel myself losing all control. I was in the middle of a full blown panic attack and Josh was still coming at me. It felt like an eternity for him to move across the small space in his single cab Nissan truck. Once he got his body on my side of the console, he was able to start sliding forward. I felt the bite of the arm rest on the door in my back as I pushed myself further away. I knew I needed to work on controlling my breathing. I couldn’t. I couldn’t think about anything but getting away. There was nowhere for me to go. Josh was in front of me and the door beside me was blocked by a freaking telephone pole.

“Reese
, Baby, you need to breathe.” He lifted his hand toward me and I flinched away. I was blocked in; there was no way I could breathe. I tried to move my hand to push him back but nothing moved.

“I won’t hurt you,” he said. His hands slid up my thighs. “You’re sweating and shaking. What’s wrong?” He slid back away from me and it was as if my lungs
suddenly kicked back into functioning mode.

I took in a deep brea
th relieving the pain from my air-starved lungs. “H-h-home.” It was the only word I could get out. If I thought my legs could have held me, I would’ve gotten out as soon as he pulled forward and my door was no longer barricaded. I sat there, staring forward. I never looked at him. We passed back by the high school and I counted the seven seconds until we were pulling up alongside my house.

I reached a shaky hand
out and grabbed the door handle as he reached toward me. I shook my head and climbed out, barely able to stand. Warm tears streamed down my face. Pushing the door shut with my hip, I heard a faint, “I’m sorry.”

Lucky for me
, no one was home. I slipped into the house and headed straight for the bathroom. After washing my face, I fell on to my bed. The last thing I remember was wishing I could call at least one of my best friends; but I ruined both of those friendships. I chose Candice’s life over our friendship, and I would do it again, without regret. I chose my boyfriend over Titus. I’m not sure that was the best thing for me, but what was done was done. There was no turning back. He probably hated me now, more than ever. My lids grew heavy as I sank further into my pillow.

Chapter Eleven

Reese

“Reese,
Honey, wake up.” Mom’s voice was soft and I could feel her gently shaking my shoulder.

“Mom
?” My voice was rough with sleep and the word came out more like a gasp.

“I know this is a stupid question
, but is everything okay? It’s not like you to sleep after school. Especially this late.”

“What time is it?” 

“Just after seven. Dinner’s ready.” Mom stood up from her spot on my bed, reaching a hand out to help me up.

I felt weak, drained
, really. Since it had been so long since my last attack, I had forgotten how much they take out of me. I reached for Mom, clasping her wrist, allowing her to help me up. “I wish I was okay. I wish Candice wasn’t mad at me. And I really wish I hadn’t told Ty we couldn’t be friends.”

“I knew it was a stupid question.” Mom smiled, “Candice will forgive you and you can fix things with Titus.”

I shook my head. “I wish I believed that.”

Mom didn’t say anything
, just led the way out of my room. Dinner was unusually silent. I finished up and asked to be excused, telling everyone goodnight. My parents both looked at me curiously, or maybe it was concern, it was hard to tell; but neither said anything more than, “goodnight.”

Once I was in my room and
had changed into my pajamas, I dug my phone out of my bag and scrolled through the missed calls and text messages. Twenty-two calls from Josh. Eleven texts from him, and one from Titus. A smiled stretched my cheeks as I opened the message from Titus. Maybe he didn’t hate me after all.

Ty: H
ey just checking to see if you’re ok.

I missed him like crazy
, even though I had talked to him earlier, today. I quickly tapped out a response.

Me: I am now.

Seconds later my phone dinged. I hadn’t even had time to start to go through Josh’s messages.

Ty: Why now
?

Me: I got a text from the best guy friend ever. :)

This time he didn’t text right back. As I waited
, I read through all of Josh’s messages. They all had the same theme. He was sorry and would never put my life in danger like that, again. Eleven messages that all basically said the same thing. I was just starting to think Titus wasn’t going to text me back, when my phone beeped again.

Ty: I know. Ha
ha. If everything’s cool, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m lifting weights, right now.

Me: Talk to you tomorrow.
In class.

I felt the need to make sure he understood that we still couldn’t talk in front of Josh. I didn’t need more problems with him over Titus.

Ty: Gotch ya.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair before I found the courage to text Josh back.

Me: I’ll see you at school, tomorrow. I have to be there early for a project.

Not completely a lie. I did have to go to the library at some point tomorrow to do some research for
Civics. I wasn’t ready to face Josh first thing in the morning.

Josh: Can’t I
pick you up?

Me: No
. It’s okay. I have to be there super early. I’ll see you at break.

There
, that gives me some time to myself in the morning. I hoped he bought it and let it go. My phone rang. I looked at the screen that was flashing a picture of Josh. I wasn’t ready to talk. I hit decline and shut off my phone. Curling up into a ball, I cried myself to sleep. How much longer would I have to stay with him?

Chapter Twelve

Reese

I rushed through my morning routine, grabbing a banana off the counter before hastening out the door toward school at seven-fifteen. I knew if I was on my normal time schedule, Josh would be there to pick me up. That could not happen. I wasn’t ready to see him.

I didn’t
remember anything from my first three classes. I was too stressed out over having to see Josh. Our school was small. I had arranged my morning so I ended up in the office at the end of each period to hide, and was late to class for the next. I managed to avoid him before and after my first two classes.

At the end of third period
, I rushed toward the office and ran into Mr. Wait.

“Slow down
, Reese, where’s the fire?” He smiled, flashing me his adorable dimples. The guy was old. But not too old. I would say he was probably in his early thirties, but he was cute. The youngest and best looking teacher we had at Laton High.

I flashed him a grin. “Back there?”
I pointed over my shoulder.

He laughed
. “Reese, I talked to Mr. Gustin and Titus. I know there is a lot going on with you, right now. I may not be a licensed counselor, but my door is always open. I am a great listener.”

That wiped the smile off my face. What had they told him
? “Um, thank you, sir.”

“I’m serious, anytime you need to
talk; you know where my room is.”

I nodded my head and before I could slip into the office
, I heard Josh call my name. Mr. Wait turned toward him and quickly glanced back at me. Louder than necessary he said, “So if you could come to my room as soon as you’re done talking with Mr. Gustin, I’ll help you with that assignment.” He winked at me before strolling down the hall toward his room. I think I love Mr. Wait. I slipped into the library doors and dashed into the office. Almost knocking over the Office Aide.

“Geez
, Reese, watch it.”

“Sorry!” I called as I rapped on Mr.
Gustin’s door.

He opened it with a puzzled look on his face. “Reese?”

“Mr. Gustin sorry to barge in,” I paused and he cut me off.

“You didn’t barge.” He chuckled
, his chest rising and falling with the sound. “You knocked. Come in; do you need something?”

“Yeah
.” I stepped into his office and he shut the door behind me, saving me from a confrontation with Josh. “I needed to hide and Mr. Wait suggested I come in here and then head to his room when the coast was clear.” I smacked my head. That was stupid. “Actually, I need to talk to you about Candice and Alex.”

The smile on his face told me he didn’t believe I came in to talk about them
and that my first response was more likely the truth. Thankfully, he played along.  “Okay? I’m not sure what I can help you with. I only know what Candice’s father told me and I am not able to share that information.”

I shook my head rapidly.
“Oh no, no. That’s not what I meant, at all. You see I was the one to inform Mr. Warner about the abuse.” I stopped to see if that was news or if he already knew. He nodded as if he knew, so I continued. “Candice is mad at me,—actually not talking to me. At all.  But I need to know that you’re doing everything in your power to keep him from approaching her or hurting her during school hours. I just worry about her and I can’t ask her about it.”

“I’m not sure I can disclose what we are doing. But rest assure
d, Reese, we are taking measures to keep her safe.”

“Okay
, then. That’s all I need to know. Thank you, Mr. Gustin.”

With sad eyes, he offered me a sad smile. “You’re very welcome.
And I think the coast is clear. Josh walked out the front door, just now. If you head out the library you can be in Mr. Wait’s class before he rounds the corner.”

“Thank you.” I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I dipped my head in embarrassment.

I made it to lunch without running into him, which is a miracle, since our school is so small. I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer. Groaning, I headed toward my locker where I knew he would be waiting.

When
I rounded the corner, there he was, leaning up against my locker, his back against it, legs crossed at the ankle and arms crossed over his chest pulling his button down shirt tight across his shoulders. If he hadn’t had that small, apologetic smile on his face, I would have thought he was mad, based on his stance. I slowly stepped in front of him. He dropped his arms and reached out for my hand.

“Reese.” My name came out in a whisper. Almost as if he didn’t believe I was there. “I know I scared you yesterday
, and I’ll never forgive myself for it. If I can’t forgive myself, I don’t expect you to forgive me, either. I don’t know how I will ever make it up to you. But I promise you, I will try. Every day I will try to earn your forgiveness.”

I stood there staring at him. This was the guy I started dating.
The caring guy. This was my Josh. I didn’t know what got into him, but I didn’t like that other guy. “I’m sorry I’ve ignored you. I just needed a little time.” I was proud of how strong my voice came out. I was not going to break down, again.

“Come here.” He pulled me into his chest and I went. After a quick hug he released me. Smirking
, he said, “No PDA, I know.”

I laughed
. “A hug is not so bad.” I snuggled back into his chest. Hugging, I can handle. Kissing in private, I can handle. It’s everything else I wish I didn’t have to. Handle.

After lunch, I headed to sixth period. Just after the bell rang, I was called to the office. I worried that it may have something to do with Candice. I hadn’t seen her all day. Then again, I was hiding.

I entered into the office through the library. As soon as I stepped through the door
, I knew why I had been called in. On the secretary’s desk sat a dozen yellow roses. My favorite. Ms. Cynthia sat there, her nose in the bouquet, smelling my roses. When I cleared my throat, she spun around. “Reese, sorry honey, they just smell delightful. These, my dear, are for you. I must say you are one lucky little lady.”

If she only knew why I was getting them.
“Thank you, Ms. Cynthia.” She handed me my roses and her eyes lit with happiness for me. I went back out the same way I came in, opening the card as I went. What the heck was I supposed to do with these for two full periods? It’s not like I could carry them with me all day. Stopping in the library I sat them on the table and read my card.

Reese,

I am so sorry and this is just the beginning

of
me making it up to you.

I love you forever,

Josh

There may be some perks to him making it up to me
, after all. I left the roses in the office with Ms. Cynthia, giving her permission to smell them all she wanted.

At the end of the day
, I went through the office and grabbed my flowers. I headed out the front door to where Josh was waiting to pick me up. We didn’t speak until he pulled up to my house.

“I’m not coming in
, today. I’ll give you some time and space. Call me tonight if you want.” Josh smiled, sadness still etched in his eyes.

“Thank you.” I opened the door and slid out of his truck. “I appreciate it. I’ll call you after dinner.”

Over the next few weeks
, Josh took things slow and never pushed me. We spent afternoons together at my house with my sisters. Now that Cheer was over, I had to watch the girls until my parents got home. Monopoly and Yahtzee kept us busy. The days flew by. Josh sent flowers once a week– to my house, now that he figured out what a pain it was to get them at school.  I continued to talk to Titus after Josh left at night and during class. I missed him more than I thought possible. Titus was able to spend time with Candice and said she was doing well and getting over what I had done to her.

One day, in first period,
she actually sat next to me again, and offered me a smile. I took it. It was a start. I wasn’t going to push her to forgive me. The Winter Formal was fast approaching and I wanted more than anything to go shopping with her, but, I knew we weren’t there, yet.

The week before formal, I was dress shopping with my mom when we saw Candice and Cecilia shopping, too. They both looked at us and turned the other way, walking back out of the store. “I guess they haven’t forgiven us for interfering. I would be grateful if someone saved my daughter.” My mom commented.

Before tears could fill my eyes,
Mom pulled me quickly over to the dresses and handed me six to try on. Once I got into the dressing room, I scanned the dresses, picking my favorite and trying it on, first. My phone beeped and I felt the hope rise in my chest that it was Candice.

Alex: Can u get Candice out after formal

I could not believe the nerve of this guy. Because of him, my best friend wasn’t even talking to me and he has the nerve to ask me to help him meet her? I forwarded the text to Ty, knowing Candice wasn’t with him.

Ty: What an ass
. What did u tell him?

Me:
Nothing. What should I say?

Ty:
That because of him you two no longer talk, the asshole knows that

Me:
K

Ty:
Call u 2nite.

“Reese
, do you need help?”

“No, I’m coming out.” I shimmied into the tight, short, aqua blue a-symmetrical dress.

When I stepped out, mom’s eyes flashed with excitement. “It’s perfect. Look at your eyes.” She grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to look in the mirror. “The color brings the blue out and they look like the ocean. You’re so beautiful, Baby Girl.”

I noticed
Mom had tears in her eyes and she was dabbing the corners. “Thank you. I don’t think I need to try on anything else. I looked past us in the mirror and saw Candice holding up the exact same dress, staring at me.

She wouldn’t wear the same dress
. She might be mad at me, but she would never do that. We bought the dress and found a cute pair of strappy silver heels. Mom insisted we find something with some bling to put in my hair. And then we had to order Josh’s boutonniere.

When we got home
, I finally decided to text Alex back.

Me: She won’t talk to me and I wish you wouldn’t
, either.

I never heard anything back.