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Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore

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BOOK: Get What You Give
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I just looked above as the smoke rose and rain fell on my face. Deep in my heart I asked God to take care of the woman who had taken care of all of us. Why her and not me, I would never know. But if I could do anything to help anyone the rest of my life, I would live my life like Mayzee King and help other people to show her I was truly thankful.
 
The next couple days were extremely tough—tougher, actually, than a steak that has been overcooked. My mom wanted me to come home, but I felt I needed to stay on campus and be with the students. As we held candlelight vigils for Ms. King, we found out a lot about her. She was thirty and had three kids, all under the age of six. She had lived in the most impoverished part of our small town, and her kids didn't have much, and now they'd lost everything because their mom was gone.
I remembered daily feeling ill just thinking about Teddi being a senior in high school, graduating without her parents seeing her. They had been taken in the blink of an eye; her world had just changed forever. She had been practically grown and set in her ways. Yet she needed a little refining, and our friendship helped us both grow. But she wasn't a baby. Ms. King's kids had already lost one parent. We'd found out these kids' dad was in jail for armed robbery and murder, for shooting the clerk of the store he was robbing. No father, and now they didn't have a mother.
Cassidy, Teddi, and I put a sign about the vigil on our new dorm door—where our rooms were across from each other. “There's another vigil tonight. Are you gonna go?” Cassidy asked me.
Teddi had been so shaken up since the incident, I didn't know if she was coming or going. She couldn't sleep at night, and I was becoming extremely concerned. “I'm going to wait for Teddi,” I said to Cassidy, knowing she should be back from class by now.
“Well, it's right in front of our building. Y'all need to get out. I see how well you take care of Teddi. I remember you went back to get something from her room the day of the fire. You put yourself in harm's way to help her out. No matter how strong you are, Hailey Grant, I know this is affecting you. We were in that fiery building. We felt the heat of the flames. We saw the red-orange, thick flicker charging at us like it wanted to win. We couldn't breathe inside. I know you thought about what it would be like to perish.” I dropped my head, and the tears I had been fighting back came out like a cabinet that was too full to close. “We're scarred for life, Hailey. We won't ever be able to get it out of our mind, but we've got to do something about it. Collectively coming together and going to God, we will get through it.”
Wiping my face, I nodded. I went over to the desk and left Teddi a note letting her know I was here.
“I can introduce you to my boyfriend. He's right over there,” Cassidy said, pointing to her beau.
“Oh, really? Your boyfriend goes to Western Smith?” I teased as I shoved her a little in the arm.
“Nope. He's a local minister at the youth church not far from here. You should go with me sometime.”
“I just may have to do that.”
We went to her handsome guy, and she introduced us. He told me to stay strong and that he'd be praying for me. I truly needed to hear that. After I met Rev. Black, he took the stage and started inspiring the sad crowd. His words actually helped.
“You know, it's like we like to have things given to us. ‘What can you do for me?' We often ask. Or ‘You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours' is what they said back in the day. Or what about ‘What have you done for me lately?' This is another standard we hold people by. But Mayzee King was a lady who, though she had a lot to live for, knew she had a bigger calling to care about others more than she cared about herself. Talking to her mom, I now know she knew God, so I'm not sad that she's done with the troubles of this world. She's in a much better place than we can dream of, but she left us a standard set so high. And I hope everyone whose flame is flicking tonight understands that you gotta give more than you take, and you gotta set up treasures in heaven because you never know when the day's gonna be your last.”
The powerful young minister prayed for us, and then Covin took the stage. It had been the first time I'd seen him since the accident. He was strong but clearly shaken.
Covin said, “I'm just gonna be frank with you guys, but I'm sure y'all heard that the King family doesn't have the money to bury Ms. Mayzee. I don't know if y'all have to call home, dig into your own savings, give up your job earnings, sell some stuff, or whatever, but she gave her life for some of us... . We will help.”
Covin went on to say a few other things, and I was impressed. I certainly had four hundred eighty-five dollars in the bank, and all of it would go to her cause. Covin was definitely the kind of leader our school needed. But no one was moving. Covin had put out a challenge, and we needed to step up.
I went up to the stage and wrote out a check. Covin looked stunned, but he nodded in appreciation. He waved my check in the air, and, thankfully, people started writing checks on the spot and pulling out cash. We had no collection plate, but Covin pulled the hat from his head and turned it upside down.
Covin continued. “Western Smith, that's what I'm talking about. Mayzee King gave her life for ours. Anything extra we raise will go toward her family. Let's all stay committed to helping them. When folks are in need, you give all you have, and this is how you truly show gratitude.”
3
PARADIGM
“
W
e are the standard for the future. Western Smith's students are an example and a model for what young people all across the country should be like. Sure, we have fun, don't get me wrong, but we're here to get an education. We're here to take it to the next level. We stand for what's right, and we fall for no bull,” Covin said as his election speech followed Teddi's the next week.
As hard as I tried not to be connected to him, and as much as I didn't want to be moved by the feelings he was making me feel, I was unsuccessful. I tried to remain unbiased, but it was impossible. He was an orator who had the crowd and me yelling, screaming, moved, and, most importantly, behind him. Teddi and I were over off to the wing. She had just given a pretty lame speech compared to Covin's. She had been nice to thank the crowd for their support during her crisis, and she'd talked about how she planned to get the student body active and revived.
Now Teddi shoved me and then walked off stage. I didn't even get to hear what else Covin had to say, but I knew it was going to be well received. And I hated that I actually had to miss it, because I was being inspired. But she was mad, and I guess rightfully so because I was her best friend, her campaign manager, but, most importantly, her girl—like a sister. Honestly speaking, I didn't think she had a chance, and I wasn't sure if she was getting my vote.
“Teddi, girl! Wait up,” I said to her as I pulled her arm before she left the library, where the election rally was being held.
“No, don't waste your time running after me. Why don't you go back in there and listen to Covin's lame lies?” Teddi vented; she was near tears.
“What do you mean, lame lies? You heard what he said. It wasn't like he promised anything he wouldn't be able to deliver. He just made everybody feel like we're important. And that SGA wouldn't be a dictatorship, it would be something that we all can be involved in. I'm sorry if I was excited by what he said.” She just started shaking her head and turned her head away from me. “What? You don't want me to tell you the truth? You want me to sugarcoat everything? Come on, Teddi. That's not fair.”
I knew that was really what she wanted, but I had to toughen her up. Cassidy was right—I tried to be Teddi's mom. And that wasn't my job. I was her friend. And friends were supposed to be able to give constructive criticism to one another.
“It's your fault I'm not as strong a candidate,” she said, stopping in her tracks to let me have it.
Not backing down, because I was upset also, I said, “What do you mean it's my fault?”
“Because you're my campaign manager. If my speech was weak, you should've helped me get it stronger.”
“I told you you needed to add more fire to what you were saying,” I defended.
“Do you have to use that word, Hailey?” Teddi's eyes welled as if a faucet were just turned on.
I was really frustrated at that moment. I knew we had gone through a lot. But I didn't want every time I made the association with flames, heat, or fire—for goodness sake—to be damned to hell. Or for Teddi to think I was being insensitive to what we had both gone through. Yes, she and Covin had had to go to the hospital to be completely checked out. But I had also had a follow-up doctor's visit. I was still traumatized. But I had to keep living, and I couldn't walk on eggshells with my every word.
Teddi saw in my eyes I didn't appreciate her demeanor. “Just leave me alone, okay? You don't care about me. Leave me alone.”
I wanted to shake her and say, “How dare you say I don't care about you? I risked my life for you and would do it again in a heartbeat.” Part of my heart was broken that she couldn't see that. But before I could say anything to her, she was gone.
The day didn't get any better once the results were in. Though I wasn't in front with her, I could see her face from the crowd and tell she was pretty devastated when her name wasn't called as our next student-body president. But the crowd loved the fact that Covin's name was announced, and I was so proud of him. He made everyone believe we were special, believe we were the best around, and believe we could do big things. I knew politicians spouted a lot of bull, but because I had seen him in action on the most adversarial day of his life, he was the standard. I knew he was for real, and he deserved to be president.
Though Teddi ran off the stage, and I would have to deal with our differences, she was gonna be okay. Because at the end of the day, the best candidate had won.
 
“Hailey, are you heading to class? Do you mind if I walk with you?” Cassidy startled me two days after the yucky election as I came out of my dorm room not really paying attention to what was going on around me.
The reason I was so out of it was because I was bummed that Teddi and I were living together but not speaking. This was the first time our tight bond had serious tension. Though I didn't think she was the better candidate, my heart ached for her pain. Well, that was before she started rolling her eyes and labeling her stuff in the room and did things that really irritated me. I was about to knock some sense into the little chick.
As for Cassidy, I was ready to go to class and not be bothered. I wanted to say, “Walk me to class—are you serious? I am not in the sociable mood?” But what was wrong with me stepping out and extending my friendship?
“Sure, yeah. I don't have that far of a walk, though. These dorms are way closer to my classes than the last dorm was. One of the few blessings in the ordeal we had,” I said.
Cassidy said, “I know, right? Classes usually start on the hour. We got about twenty minutes if your class is really close. I was just wondering if me, you, and my friends could have coffee, tea, muffins, or something over at the café.”
I wasn't a muffin or tea kinda girl, but I was intrigued. “Sure, I got a little time. You wanna give me a heads-up?”
“Well, you know I'm a Beta like your sister, Hayden, whom we all admire. I don't know what she told you about our chapter, but we had a pretty large line last year. The line I was on. There were a lot of Betas on campus.” I didn't know where she was going with this, but I kept listening. “We just wanna talk to you about sorority stuff, if that's okay.”
Then I had a confused look on my face. I didn't think it was legal to talk to me in private about sorority stuff. Whatever they might be thinking, I was not up for it.
“Don't worry. No hazing or anything like that. That's why we wanna talk to you in a public place. Just a normal cup of coffee.”
As soon as we got to the café, there were five other Betas waving us over. Cassidy motioned for me to take a seat. “You want something to drink?” she said. “I'll get it.”
“No, I'm fine,” I told her.
“Hi, I'm Samantha,” said this girl I recognized as she looked me over.
“I know you. You're the new Chapter President, right?”
“Yes.” She smiled and nodded approvingly because I knew her position.
A few other girls coughed and looked at each other. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew it was something internal.
Samantha turned to them and then looked at me. “Sorry about that,” she said. “It's hard to recruit people. We are thinking about having a line, and we want to let you know we think you're dynamic.”
“Yeah,” Cassidy said. “I told them about everything that happened when we were in the fire. So many girls are jocking us, wanting to be down with Beta Gamma Pi, not having a clue about what it means to put others above yourself.”
“And we want girls with character,” Samantha said. “Girls who don't mind going against the grain or standing with the minority because they'd rather do what's right, even if it means standing alone. We just plan to put a few on our line this year. We just want to ask you to come to our rush. We plan to do it strictly by the book. Really true sisterhood and get a lot of great bonding going on. So, you know, we hope it works out because we'd really like to have you join BGP.” Then they got up and walked out.
I noticed Teddi standing by the door as they left. She came to me and said, “Were the Betas sitting with you?”
I knew she wanted to be a Beta. Most of the girls at our school did, so I believed them when they said young women were practically begging them. But Teddi hadn't even been speaking to me. And now all the interest.
“Have the Betas talked to
you?
” I asked because I knew if they hadn't reached out to Teddi, I didn't want to throw it in her face that I was their top pick and she wasn't.
“What did they want with you?” she asked, again speaking to me for the first time in a couple of days.
I knew she couldn't take any more disappointment, so I said, “You know, just being sorority girls.”
“Yeah, I know. Trying to tell you how to act and stuff. Cool it down and not be such a maverick. They don't have to tell me how to act like a Beta. I studied them all last year. I learned their ways. I'm ready.”
I just nodded.
False as the hope was, it was certainly good to see her feel confident again. And as salty as I was with her for being mad at me for having my own mind, I knew I loved her deeply, and as much as I appreciated their flattery, I would much rather enjoy seeing Teddi as a Beta than me. Maybe I would lose my interest if that happened.
 
“So the Betas want you to pledge, huh, lil' sis?” Hayden said to me as we sat down for dinner.
We hadn't had sister time in over a few months, which was so odd because we'd used to get together every week. But she had her off-and-on-boyfriend, Creed, since her days at Western Smith. Whenever I'd called her over the summer to hang out and do this or that, she would shoot me down with how she couldn't or she and Creed had plans, so I just stopped asking. Then out of the blue she'd wanted to take me out to eat, but I knew why. She wanted to talk about the Betas.
“Let me just stop you,” I said to her before the waiter came over to our table. “Yeah, the Betas talked a good game, and that was cool and everything, but—”
“But? Are you kidding? For them to say you're who they're looking for and all you need to do is apply is unheard of. They usually give girls a hard time.”
“I don't want any special treatment. I don't want people coming up to me telling me I'm who they're looking for. The only reason they stepped up to me is because I'm your younger sister. Did you call them and tell them they better put me on the line, Hayden?”
“Girl, they hate legacies,” she said as she looked around for the waiter. “We've been sitting around for twenty minutes. I'm thirsty. Besides, you're a double legacy. Your mom and your sister are Betas. In my days on campus that was not cool. If they talked to you, something you did stood out.”
My sister was very strong. I didn't know a lot about her pledge days, but I remembered it was brutal. Girls were hazed pretty badly. She had been on some underground line that had gotten dropped. A girl had ended up in the hospital, and an alumni chapter had had to take over. Because some girls had gotten suspended, the new girls were the only ones on campus. They'd elected Hayden for Chapter President, and that had worked great for a minute, but her strong-willed personality had ended up alienating them.
The waiter came over and took our order. As bad as my sister had wanted the waiter over, now she was kinda rushing him off so we could talk more. Before Hayden could open her mouth I said, “Don't sell me on Beta Gamma Pi. I wanna see for myself. I wanna try out some other organizations. I'm not sure if pledging is for me at all anyway.”
She grabbed my hand and said, “Yes. I know you remember that my pledging experience was difficult, but a lot has changed. Again, they're not trying to take you to some dark room and jack you up. They intimidated the heck out of me. I only pledged because I knew it was in my heart. I wanted to be like Mom so badly and have a good underground experience, but that's not what I had.”
“You wanted to have an underground experience?” I asked her.
“I meant undergrad experience because, you know, Mom pledged grad chapter. Truthfully, if I had to do it over again, I wish I would've pledged as a grad because pledging was a lot of work, but right now the Betas have their heads on straight, and they plan to do it right for your line. They want only a few girls, and they want you, Hailey. They know a good thing when they see one. You are so awesome, Hailey. I am just excited. Tickled purple and turquoise—Beta Gamma Pi colors, okay—that they want my little sister to be a part of our sisterhood. You're so strong and care about yourself; you could be a great leader.”
“Yeah, right. You tried for a position within the national office, and I saw what it did to you.”
Hayden thanked the waiter as she sipped her water with lemon. Then she said, “Yeah, but I didn't win. The President appointed me to a national committee, and it's been great serving. You could go all the way because you have vision. People like you. If you need to try out other organizations by going to their rushes or talking to them, I support that. I don't wanna cram what I know to be the best down your throat. I feel confident to say that if you go and check out the others, you're gonna want to come to Beta Gamma Pi. Because when it's done right, we are the stuff. We are the standard. We are the paradigm.”
BOOK: Get What You Give
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