Hot Cooking Spanker Wanted (18 page)

At
the hotel I hurried in and went to the check-in. “Good evening. I
would like to know which room Ryan Nobles is staying in.”

“
I'm
not privileged to hand out that information.”

“
No,
it's okay. I'm his girlfriend.” Soon to be wife, mother of his
child, but that I kept to myself.

“
He
seems to have lots of those. I won't tell you in which room he is.”

I
told him my name. “Maybe you saw a picture of the two of us
together in the tabloids? Call him and tell him that I am here. He
will say to send me up.”

“
Miss,
I can't tell you that.”

“
Fine,
then I will just have to check into the hotel for the evening. I
really need to get some sleep. Just give me a simple room.”

“
I'm
afraid that we are all booked up for the evening.”

“
Are
you trying to make me cry?” It was a close thing already. Being
pregnant was already starting to take its toll. I just wanted to curl
up in bed next to Ryan and sleep. I was now picturing me telling him
that I was pregnant, in a whisper, over my shoulder before I knocked
off too tired to hear his response.

The
stiff clerk guy cracked a smile but he was trying so hard not to that
he looked like he was chocking. “I would be glad to call another
hotel and book a room for you.”

I
sighed disappointed. This just wasn't how I pictured this. “I
sincerely know him personally and he wouldn't want me to sleep on the
couch in the lobby. Take pity on me. I am drop dead tired.”

“
I
hope, I don't lose my job over this.” He picked up the phone and
dialed. He let it ring and ring. “He is either fast asleep or he
isn't in at the moment.”

“
I
suppose, he could still be filming. That would also explain why I
can't reach him on his cellphone. I'll wait for him in the bar. Can
you please tell him that I am there when he comes in?”

“
Of
course, madam.”

“
Thank
you.” I gave him a smile and headed to the bar lounge. I sat down
in a corner booth, still a little afraid that I might fall asleep
right there.

The
waitress came over to me and asked me what I wanted. I told her that
I wanted a tall glass of water. She looked surprised, but I wasn't
looking for any trouble tonight. Nothing should take from the
important news I had to tell him.

I
was so thirsty that I drank my water down quickly. I was fighting to
stay awake. I thought I heard Ryan's voice. I woke right up and
grabbed my suitcase so I was ready to go. I hoped to be in bed in the
next half hour. Ryan would understand something like that. He would
probably even insist on it. It was a quarter to twelve as it was.

I
looked around for him, but I didn't see him standing anywhere. That
was odd.

“
Did
you want to pay? Are you looking for me?”

“
Yes,
I do.” I got my wallet out of my purse and paid her for my drink
and gave her her tip. I figured it would be better to sit in the
lobby that way I could see him myself when he came in.

I
was about to leave when I heard him again. I turned and saw him in a
suit, sitting at the bar. He had his hand on a woman's lower back.
Was he filming?

I
moved in closer, wishing I wasn't so tired.

“
Ryan,
I need you tonight just like in old times. Why don't we go up to your
room and you can take care of me.” The woman whined in his ear. She
was blond and beautiful and the kind of woman, one would figure he
would be with.

She
wasn't the brown haired little mouse of a person that I was. No, she
looked interesting and like she took perfect care of herself. Her
hair, her fingernails and I would guess that she watched her weight
very closely. She was my opposite and his hand was still right above
her bottom and she had called him, Ryan, his real name. This wasn't
part of filming or running lines.

I
was standing behind them staring at them like an idiot. The idiot
that I was. I moved to another booth and ordered another glass of
water. I paid for it right away. I didn't want to make a mistake.
Ryan was my boyfriend and the father of my child. I had to wait to
see what would happen next. I had to give him the benefit of the
doubt.

I
couldn't hear them but I could see what they were doing. She laid her
head on his shoulder and he was cuddling with her too. Where were the
paparazzi now? This was something for tomorrow's headlines. They
stayed for a while but then they went to the elevators. He had his
arm around her.

I
should just leave and go home now, but I was still so naïve and I
just didn't want to believe that truth. I followed them and watched
which floor the elevator stopped at. I got in the other elevator and
also pushed the fifth floor. I didn't know what I was doing. He would
see me and then what would I say? I stepped out of the elevator and
looked down the hall. They were going into a room together.

“
In
you go,” I heard him say. That was something he would have said to
me too. I walked down the hall to their door. There was a tiny
sitting area across from his room. I was trying to calm myself down.
I used words like reasonable explanation. Benefit of the doubt was
there too but then I heard giggling.

I
sat down on one of the soft cushioned armchairs and just waited for
what he was going to do next. Would he kick her out afterwards or
would he let her stay all night? Maybe it was her room and he would
come sneaking out and see me sitting here. I didn't want that to
happen, but I just couldn't get up and move on either. I sat there in
shock. I didn't cry or get angry. I just listened to my own thoughts.

He
would dump me for someone like her, that was obvious. She didn't even
have to be in bed by ten. She was a big girl, who knew what she was
doing. I on the other hand didn't have a clue. I was so stupid that I
was even sitting there with his baby growing in me while he was
probably making my child a step brother or sister.

I
thought about not telling him but I would be huge by the time the
movie previewed. This wasn't what I wanted. Would he pretend that
nothing was going on? I mean if I left now and went home would he
call tomorrow, saying that he had to film all night and that he was
sorry to have not been able to talk to me? Would he want his cake and
eat it too?

Would
he deny it if I confronted him? I had trusted him and believed him.
He had hurt me so badly. Worse than anyone ever had. I begged my body
to get up and just leave, but it wouldn't. I just sat there picturing
what was happening on the other side of the wall.

Had
he just used me to get the part. Had he gone through my things when I
was sick at his apartment, or had he even known from the get go. That
seemed most likely.

Of
course, he hadn't been interested in me. Not when he could have women
like her. I would even choose her over me. She was probably a lot
more fun to be around. I was so boring and I typed all day. They
probably did fun and interesting things together. We just had sex and
visited his parents. I was the clear choice to take to his parents.
Blondie, bleach blond by the way, wouldn't have done well on the farm
and that short skirt she was wearing would have caused a ruckus at
his church.

He
was so two faced. He felt that he was in a position to judge and
punish me for not going to bed on time. And then he turned around and
had an affair.

At
seven in the morning I managed to make my feet get up and leave. A
hotel page was bringing them breakfast in bed. I stood as the page
knocked. I walked down the hall as naturally as I could. I heard Ryan
behind me as I pushed the button for the elevator.

“
Great
we're starving,” he had said. I left him in that moment. Every last
peace of hope shattered.

I
fought a losing war again tears on the plane ride home. I was so glad
to finally be home. I unplugged my phone and turned off my cell. I
had two messages from him. I went to bed and cried and cried until I
was sick. I finally fell asleep the next night.

I
woke up and felt wet. I got up and went to the bathroom. I was full
of blood. I wasn't sure what to do. I decided to call the hospital. I
told them that I was pregnant and bleeding. They said to lie down and
wait for the ambulance.

I
cried, knowing what had happened. I was all alone again. No man in my
life, and no baby. I had wanted the baby more than I had known.

The
men from the ambulance rang the doorbell and I got up to buzz them
in. I opened the door to my apartment and then I looked down at the
blood running down my legs. Everything went black after that.

I
came to a moment later. I could clearly remember the paramedics
taking me away. My neighbor stood in her door. She had her hand over
her mouth in shock. I was all alone and so scared.

They
fussed over me at the hospital but it was clear that it was already
too late. I cried without worrying who would see me. I had never felt
so alone in all of my life.

They
brought me into a room where I was all alone. My sobbing would have
disturbed someone else. They told me that I could go home tomorrow.
They wanted to call Ryan, but I already knew that he wouldn't pick me
up, so I told them that he was filming on location and no one could
get hold of him until they were finished. Of course, they believed me
right away. The whole world thought that we were the happiest couple.

I
laid in my bed and just cried. My heart could never heal from
something like this. I ran my finger along the plastic name tag
around my wrist. My baby would never get one of these.

Part 2 - Ryan

“
Pick
up, Katherine.” I called her again and again, but she never
answered her phone, and now a voice came on telling me that she had
been disconnected. Had she lost her phone or was it stolen? I called
her over her home number and sent e-mails. I was clear that I was
worried.

I
tried to call her again. I let the phone ring around twenty times.
She didn't answer. I called her neighbor, but she wasn't home either.
Had the house burned down or something?

I
had to work but I had a bad feeling in my stomach. I needed to talk
to Katherine and hear that she was okay. I was worried sick. I hoped
that I wouldn't have to be sick during filming but this bad feeling
just wouldn't go away.

This
went on for a week. Either something bad had happened or she had
changed her mind about me. Could I survive something like that? What
if she had met someone better? Someone who also wrote books and
thought up wonderful things. Someone who she could brainstorm with. I
was already picturing her smiling and debating something or another
while he rubbed her feet, and she drank a glass of wine, or maybe
even coffee. Had I been too strict?

This
was driving me nuts. I got on a plane and flew home. I didn't have
much time but enough to get this straightened out. I went through
different scenarios in my head on the plane and decided how I would
react to them. My thoughts drifted off to killing whatever guy I
found her with. I wouldn't really do that but the thought was somehow
comforting me.

Cameras
were flashing as I got off the plane. A reporter jumped in front of
me and asked if I was visiting Katherine.

Thankfully,
I was an actor, so I pretended that everything was okay. “I just
really missed her. I thought I would stop by and surprise her. She is
working on a new book and I am hoping that I can convince her to
spend a moment with me.”

They
finally let me go past. Katherine had driven me to the airport when I
left so my car was parked at home. I took a taxi home to get it. I
didn't want anyone to know where she lived. There were a lot of
crazies out there, and I wasn't at home with her where I could
protect her. I wasn't about to lead one right to her, when I would be
leaving in the morning.

The
closer I got to her apartment the more I relax. There would be some
simple explanation for everything. Worse comes to worse I would give
her a quick spanking for making me worry. A letter could have reached
me in that time, I would tell her.

She
wouldn't get away with making me worry like that. I had been
physically sick with worry. I parked outside of her building and rang
her bell.

“
Hello?”

“
Katherine,
it's me.”

“
Oh,
– ”

She
was quiet for a while. She knew she was in trouble. I sighed as I
waited. She was going to draw it out again. I could be patient. “May
I come up, Katherine?” She was new to this and I didn't want to
scare her overly much but she would be going over my knee yet
tonight.

“
Just
for a little bit.”

I
had to smile about that. She was so cute. “Thank you.” She hit
the buzzer and I pushed the door open and went up to her. She was
standing in the door with her arms folded over her chest. I got that
feeling in my stomach again. Something was wrong.

“
It's
over. I never want to see you again.” She turned to go back into
her apartment. A place I already thought of as home. She came back
out with a box. “If I forgot anything it wasn't on purpose. You
could e-mail me, you like to do that. I'll send you whatever it is
per mail.” She set the box down on the floor.