In Tune (Red Bird Trail Trilogy Book 3) (6 page)

H
arper cranked up
the heat in her car. The November day was much cooler than normal, and she was glad that she’d worn her hoodie and boots. Traffic was heavy as she headed out towards Walker’s Wheels. Since she’d admitted her feelings to Cash and Remy, she’d tried very hard to back up her words with action.

Glancing over at the bag that held food from a local fast food restaurant, she hoped Cash would take this as a goodwill gesture. She hadn’t even brought him lunch before, and she had noticed he’d taken off without grabbing the leftovers she’d packed for him the night before.

As she finally approached the turn-off, her heart beat steadily against her chest. It was stupid really, that she felt this nervous about surprising him at work. Everyone knew they had been together at one point, and no one other than her probably even thought that it meant anything. This did to her. It solidified in her mind that she was turning the corner, she was allowing herself to feel things she’d never allowed herself to feel before.

Parking the car, she grabbed the bag and got out of the driver’s seat. It took her a minute to adjust to the temperature change and to find where Cash was working, but as soon as she did, she quickly made her way over to where he was.

*

“Look alive.” Tyler
knocked Cash on the arm with his elbow. “Your lady is here.”

Cash really wished he would stop calling her that, because they didn’t have labels on anything, and he was afraid if she heard the guys referring to them being together she’d get scared and run. There was only so far and so fast he could chase her, and he had a feeling she could run faster and farther than he could. He played it cool, purposely not looking up from the car he was working on for at least a minute. When he finally did, his eyes met hers, and he grinned at her across the parking lot.

She hadn’t ever looked so good to him. She wore a hoodie over the upper half of her body and tight jeans on the bottom, tucked into boots. They made her legs look a mile long, and he thought that maybe he liked her covered up just as much as he liked her with nothing on at all. There was something erotic about it, the fact that he knew exactly what she looked like with her clothes off.

She offered him a wave as he approached.

“What’s going on?” he asked, stepping out from behind the car he worked on. He made sure to clean his hands with the rag he had sitting on the quarter panel of the car; he needed to get himself under control, and it gave him a good excuse.

“You forgot your lunch,” she said when she got close enough. She thrust the bag towards him. “I knew you’d be hungry, so I brought you something.”

He hadn’t even realized he’d forgotten his lunch.

“Go on.” Tyler pushed him towards the back area of the shop where they had several picnic tables set up. They had enclosed a couple of them so that they’d have a place to eat at in the winter time. “Take lunch.”

Cash grabbed Harper’s hand and lead her back to the picnic area. They had heaters set up in the enclosed spaces, and he quickly turned one on, knowing that it wouldn’t take very long for it to warm up.

He had a seat on the bench and indicated that she should have a seat next to him. He looked into the bag. “You didn’t get yourself anything?” he asked as they got situated.

“I figured I could steal some of your fries.” She winked.

It had been a while since Harper had flirted with him, and it gave him hope that things were changing—and changing for the better this time rather than going in the opposite direction. “What’s mine is yours, sweetheart,” he told her as he poured his fries out on the bag and opened packets of ketchup.

She reached over as soon as he had the ketchup out and grabbed a couple of fries before dunking them in the sauce and then eating them quickly. “How’s your day going?”

“Not too bad. You know I’d much rather be here than at school. I’m glad it’s a school-free day. How was class?”

She sighed. “I try really hard to believe we’re doing these classes and getting these degrees in order to improve our lives, but sometimes I wonder. I want to finish, I’ve started, I wanted to see it through to the end, but some days I get so bored.”

He nodded, because he understood exactly where she came from. “I know; you sit there and think, ‘Out of all these hours I sit in class, I could be out there trying to make money—trying to make a better life for us.’”

“Exactly, but then I remember that I want to work for myself, and I remember that I have to learn how to do things the right way, but damn if I’m not bored sometimes.”

He ate the rest of his food in companionable conversation with her. As he took the last bite of his burger, he spoke again. “Thank you for bringing me this,” he told her.

“Not a problem at all. It was nice to see you in the middle of the day.”

He had to agree. It definitely was nice to see her. Walking her back through the garage, they had made it back into the parking lot when the loud sound of a car backfiring ricocheted off the asphalt, and Cash yelled, jumping.

When he looked over at Harper, he was shocked to find she’d hit the ground like she’d been shot at. Her hands were over her head, and he could see her shaking from where he stood over her. It was then that he got it, understood what she was scared of. He could read the fear in the way she held her body, in the quickness with which she had hit the ground. His eyes immediately sought out Layne O’Connor, the member of the Heaven Hill MC who had struggled with PTSD after a stint in Iraq—Travis was helping him up off the ground. She was just as scarred from her experience as Layne had been from his.

“Hey, you’re okay,” he told her as he leaned down and tried to pick her up off the ground.

“What was that?” she asked, her voice trembling as she gasped for air.

“Car backfired. You are perfectly fine,” he told her again, taking note of her wobbling chin.

“I thought—” she breathed deeply, trying to catch her breath. “I thought someone—” she started crying in earnest then. “I thought someone was shooting at us.”

Cash saw the tears streaming down her face and did the only thing he could think of. He folded her in his arms and tucked her head under his chin. “It’s going to be okay; you’re fine. I’m here.”

She clung to him as if he were her anchor in a stormy sea. He held her tightly, telling her that he wasn’t going to let go.

‡
Chapter Ten

C
ash stood in
the doorway of the bedroom he’d once shared with Harper, watching as she slept fitfully. He wasn’t for sure how long he’d been standing there watching her, but his feet were numb. He figured at this point it had been hours. She’d started out the night pretty quiet.

He’d come home from work a few hours after their lunch and put her to bed once he realized her nerves were still shot from the car backfiring. He’d never seen anyone react that way, and it worried him more than he could say.

He watched as she turned onto her back and then her head thrashed this way and that. He could tell she was in the middle of a dream, and it appeared that it wasn’t a good one. Unlike the dreams she’d had before with him, she wasn’t talking during this one. Whatever was going on, she was dealing with it in silence—much like she did most everything else.

Her breathing sped up, and he was afraid she was going to hyperventilate. He moved closer, having decided he was going to attempt to wake her up, when she shot straight up in bed and panted loudly. Her hair was plastered against her neck and forehead, and she was as pale as he’d ever seen her.

“Harper,” he said softly as he made his way over to the bed. “I’m here, you’re not alone. I’m here.”

She turned her head at the sound of his voice, searching for him in the dark. As soon as she located him, she threw herself at him, twining her arms around his neck and holding on tightly. “Cash, what’s going on with me?”

He had a very good idea, but he wasn’t sure if she would be receptive. “You were involved in something very scary as a child, Harper, I don’t think you’ve ever fully dealt with it, and I sure as hell don’t think you’ve ever fully recovered. You can’t even bring yourself to tell
me
what happened.”

She heard what he was saying, but she didn’t want it to sink in. If it sunk in, that meant she would have to take responsibility for her own feelings, and there would be a need for her to talk about the situation. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to talk about the incident. “I don’t know what to do,” she whispered, burying her head in his neck.

“I think you need to talk to someone. Liam recommended someone to me, a Doc Jones. Apparently the members of Heaven Hill go to her, and she’s helped some of them through situations in their lives. If those guys trust her, then I think she’s trustworthy.”

Talking to someone? That was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had to admit she’d felt fucking stupid hitting the parking lot because a car had backfired. It would require her opening up parts of herself that she’d assumed were completely closed off.

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that,” she argued.

Cash pulled back from her. “Let me be real honest with you, Harper. I love you, I want to be with you, but I don’t think I can completely be with you until we face what’s happened in your past. It’s the one thing we don’t talk about. I know it’s not going to be all rainbows and unicorns; I don’t expect that. What I do expect is that you want to get better as much as I want you to get better.”

She took a deep breath. “I love you too, but it’s hard to open up that part of myself. It’s hard to have the courage to fight.”

“I know, Harper. Fuck, of all people, I know. But if you don’t want it enough for you—want it for me—want it for Remy. We love you, we want to be a part of your life, we want you to be a part of ours, but it’s not fair to any of us if you keep holding a part of yourself closed.” He swallowed roughly. “Love isn’t about the easy parts. It’s about opening up the parts that hurt and allowing the person who loves you to heal them.”

Her heart constricted at his words; she knew he was right, she knew the words he spoke were one hundred percent the truth, but taking that leap was still the hardest thing she’d ever said yes to in her life. “You’ll be with me?”

“Every step of the way. There is no way in hell I’d let you do this by yourself. We do this together.”

“You won’t think badly of me?”

He couldn’t help the chuckle. “If I didn’t permanently kick your ass to the curb when this all came to light, what in the hell makes you think I’m going to do it now?”

She laughed along with him, sniffling as she rubbed at the end of her nose. “That’s the damn truth.”

They were quiet for a few minutes, both lost in their thoughts. Finally she nodded.

“Okay, if you’re gonna be with me, I can do this. I want to do this. Let’s make an appointment.”

Cash wanted to shout his joy to the moon. He wanted to grab her by the cheeks and kiss the daylights out of her, but he wasn’t sure how that would be received. They were making strides, and they were getting closer, but he wasn’t sure they were at that point yet. Wrapping her in his arms, he leaned back against the pillows of the bed. He told himself that all he wanted to do was make her feel safe, and if this was the way he could do it, then he would. For the first time in weeks, they lay down in the same bed together and fell asleep, wrapped up in each other’s arms.