Jobe: Alvarez Security Series (7 page)

Tony had asked Mackenna about the center and what her major concerns were. His eyes cut over to Jobe but realized his most steely soldier was staring openly at his former girlfriend.

Mackenna could feel Jobe’s eyes on her but refused to look at him. Wishing Jennifer had come with them into the kitchen, she knew her friend was outside grilling her husband on the scene she had witnessed.

“If it weren’t for the latest drive-bys, I would feel very safe about the center. The neighborhood isn’t bad and we haven’t had any problems. But our new girl is pregnant by someone in a gang and I’m wondering if that’s causing their interest. I…I don’t really know what to tell you. I have no idea what we should have as far as security goes and I have to be up front—there’s no money in the grant for anything.”

Tony began explaining the basics of security, the lighting at the entrances, cameras installed, and even bars on the first-floor windows.

Mackenna’s head began to pound as Tony continued to list the things that he would recommend while the man who had ripped her world apart five years earlier was sitting next to her at a kitchen table as though he had every right to be there.
Don’t look. Don’t give him the satisfaction of even talking to him. No, wait. That makes it seem like I care. I don’t care. Well, I don’t want him to think I care.

“Mackenna,” came his warm voice from beside her.

She could not help herself. She turned and forced herself to stare at him in the eyes. She had thought that having him cast her away while he was overseas had been the hardest thing to bear, but at this moment she was not sure. Facing him was pure agony.

The silence in the room was deafening. Jobe could hear his own heart pounding and was sure that he could hear hers too.
If only—

Just then the others entered the kitchen from their outdoor assessment and sat down at the table as well. Jennifer appeared stunned, so Jobe was sure that Gabe had filled her in on some of their story.

The others, determined to keep the conference professional, began immediately planning. Mackenna felt as though she had fallen down the rabbit hole—one minute she was threatening some thugs and the next she was emotionally assaulted by the past. And all the while, these other people in her center were taking charge, making plans as if she were not there.

Jobe looked at her, realizing that even after five years he could tell what she was thinking. Only the girl from his past was facing off with his co-workers with a toughness that he had never seen before.
What’s happened to you?

The meeting came to an awkward end and Tony assured her that they would begin work the next day with the equipment that they had and the installations would continue after some special orders came in. Walking them back to the front of the building, she noticed that Jobe was right behind her. Not close enough to invade her space…but close enough to let her know that he was still there. And still affected her.

She shook Tony, Gabe, and Vinny’s hands and gave Jennifer a heartfelt hug. Her friend whispered in her ear, “We’ll talk. It’ll be okay, I promise.” Nodding, she let them walk down the stoop. Steeling herself to be professional, she turned with her hand out.

“It was nice seeing you, Jobe. Thank you.”
God, I hope that sounded icy enough.
Forcing herself to look into his eyes, she saw the smile on his face.

Taking her hand in his much larger one, he did not let it go. “It was very nice seeing you again, Mackenna.”

Just as she was pulling her hand back, Tony called out from the street. “Gabe’s going with Jennifer in her car, so Vinny and I’ll ride in this one. You can have the other one yourself.”

Jobe grinned as he nodded, silently conveying his thanks to his buddies.
They know what this means. They know she was put back in my life for a reason. Don’t have a fucking clue what that is, but I’m sure as shit gonna find out.

Mackenna’s expression was one of shock that his co-workers would just leave them like that. She watched as they drove down the street and then felt pressure on her hand. Jerking it back, she realized that he had been holding it while she gawked at the others leaving.

“Yes, well…um…I have to get back to work.”

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow when we come,” he replied.

“No! I mean, that I won’t be here. I’m sure that you can do all that you need without me. You can just see…um, Rose. The teacher. She can help you. I’ll be…somewhere.”
Jesus, I’m babbling.

Smiling, he could tell that she was nervous.
Nervous good or nervous bad?
He was not sure, but he intended to find out. “Tony’s gonna need you here. You’re the one who’ll have to sign for everything, so you’ll need to be here. At least for part of the installation.”

Drawing herself to her full height, she still had to lean her head way back to look him directly in the eyes, saying, “Fine. I’ll be here. Now if you’ll excuse me.” Turning she walked on unsteady legs back into the center, closing the door behind her. As she heard him walking down the sidewalk, she peeked out of the window. Black, tight t-shirt stretched across his back. Tall, muscular. Thick hair that just beckoned fingers to be run through it.

Closing her eyes, she drew in a ragged breath.
Why did you have to come back into my life? Why couldn’t you have just stayed a memory?
She leaned her forehead on the pane of glass, as her heart ached for the millionth time as she wiped away another tear. Lifting her head, she saw him sitting in the driver’s seat. Staring. Directly. At. Her.

J
obe opened his
apartment door at the knocking, knowing before he did who would be outside. Vinny, Gabe, and Tony all stood in the hall. He threw open the door, wordlessly inviting them in.
How many times over the years have we done this?
Shutting the door behind him, he watched as they settled onto his oversized sofas. He also noticed Tony eyeing the whiskey bottle on the coffee table.

Walking over, he sat down in one of the chairs facing the sofa and nodded toward the bottle. “In answer to the question on your mind, no, I haven’t been drinking. But yes, I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Fair enough,” Tony replied, leaning back in his seat.

The silence blanketed the room, each man holding on to their own thoughts. Finally, Vinny was the one to break the ice.

“So what’s the deal? You gonna be okay with this assignment? ’Cause if you’re not, I’ve told Tony that I’ll take it.”

Shaking his head, he said, “No, I’ve got it. There’s no need to worry about me.”

“You had to be stunned, man. I didn’t know who she was until I saw your face. Then her name hit me about the same time it hit everyone else.”

Gabe admitted, “I’m sorry. When Jennifer kept talking about someone named
Mac,
I just thought we were meeting some guy. I mean, I can’t swear that the name Mackenna would have registered with me, but at least we would have been a little more prepared.”

Tony, having sat quietly watching Jobe, finally said, “You want to tell us what you’re thinking?”

Jobe snorted as he answered. “I’ve been thinking of her since I left the center. I have no idea what place I can carve out in her world, but I’d like to try. If she’ll let me, that is.”

“But?” Vinny prompted.

“But there’s a lot for her to have to forgive for us to even be acquaintances, much less friends,” Jobe replied. “And I don’t have a clue how to go about trying to get her to forgive me.”

“Hell man, every one of us has come to you for advice about our women and now you’re the one who should have the answers,” Vinny exclaimed.

“So what do you think I should do?” Jobe asked, looking at his closest friends.

“I think she deserves the truth,” Gabe answered, as the others agreed.

“The truth? I should tell her that after what I saw, I lost it? That I’ve been successfully dealing with PTSD, but at the time I was so overwhelmed that the idea of being with anyone was horrifying to me?”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what you should tell her. The honest to God truth,” Tony stated firmly.

Jobe sighed as he leaned back in his seat. The silence once again filled the room. “It sounds so fucking pathetic now. Over there, the idea of maintaining a relationship was overwhelming. Monumental. Unattainable. Now, looking back? Jesus, I took the pussy way out!”

Tony leaned forward, holding Jobe’s gaze. “You did what you had to back then to survive. We all did in our own ways. There was no right or wrong. We just did what we had to do to keep going in any way we could. That’s what you need to tell her. That’s the conversation you need to have.”

Jobe nodded slowly, sucking in a huge breath. “I know. Even if she never forgives me, she deserves to know that. I owe her that.”

“Now, I gotta know if this is going to be a problem on the job. I think you’re the best man for taking care of her security, along with Gabe. But just because this is a pro bono case, Mackenna is still my client and I gotta know that a professional job can be done.”

Jobe wanted to be insulted that Tony even had to ask, but his Captain would demand nothing but the utmost best from everyone. Looking him in the eye, he nodded. “I’ve got this, sir. You’ll get nothing but the best from me.”

Tony grinned as he stood and said, “Just what I expected.” As he walked to the door, Gabe and Vinny both nodded to Jobe before leaving.

Gabe admitted, “Listen, I told Jennifer what I knew but told her that the story is yours to tell Mackenna if and when you choose. She understands that because that’s what I finally did with some of my experiences.”

Vinny agreed, “Same here. It took a while for me to unload some of that shit off on Annalissa, but she gets it now. Just remember—you need us, we’re here.”

With that, the three friends left leaving Jobe alone with his thoughts…and memories.

*

Mackenna got to
the center early the next morning, having not slept the night before. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that stuck out of the opening in the back of her ball cap.
Good—I’ll show him that he’s not worth my getting fixed up for.
She stilled for a moment, her eyes closed as her knuckles ached from gripping the counter fiercely.
Be strong. Never let him see that he devastated me.
Just then, she heard the sounds of several men outside. Taking a deep breath, she pushed off of the counter and went out to greet them.

Hours later, Mackenna was wondering about her sanity for agreeing to the security work. Jobe had managed to do his job and be where she was at every turn. When she was in the kitchen, he needed to fill their water canteen. When she was in her office, he needed to measure the window in that room. When she went upstairs to check in the bedrooms, he was hanging outside their windows, attaching monitors. When she decided to work in the back for a while, he managed to need to be at the back gate.

When he asked a question, she curtly answered, giving no more of a response than was necessary. She noticed that Gabe stayed outside and allowed Jobe to interact with her.
Why? Why is he trying to have a conversation with me?
The more she thought about it, the more her head hurt.

Finally, she grabbed her purse and headed for the front door, waving at Rose, who was giving her a sympathetic look. Mouthing
I’m leaving
to her, she stepped out onto the stoop. Right into a large body working on a camera over the front door.

She did not even need to lift her eyes to see who it was. She was staring directly at his chest and knew instinctively that it was Jobe.
Fuck my life
, she thought.

Plastering a smile on her face as his hands came down to grab her shoulders to steady her, she tried to ignore the spark she felt. “I’m leaving now, so you’ll have to pester Rose if you need anything.”

“Pester? Is that what you think I’ve been doing?” his warm voice slid over her.

“No, I’m sure you give all your clients this much attention,” she answered sarcastically and then immediately wondered if he did.

“I’ve got to confess that I’ve never given this much attention to any other job,” he said, his eyes twinkling.

She found herself wanting to slap the smile off of his face, but could not think of a retort worthy of the situation so she turned and started down the steps.

“Where do you have to run off to?” he called out after her.

She turned slowly and stared at him coldly. A long minute passed before she spoke, “I have responsibilities besides just this center. Things that have to be taken care of.”

He sauntered down the steps to where she was standing. She wanted to move, but her legs were rooted to the sidewalk. Just the look of him still made her heart beat erratically.

“Are you sure you can’t stay for a while?” he asked softly.

“No,” she replied sharply. “I have to get my mom to a doctor’s appointment.”

“Your dad can’t take her?” he asked.

Jerking out of her Jobe-induced trance, she reared back as though she had been slapped. “No, Jobe, he can’t. He’s dead.” Turning she stalked toward her car, leaving him standing where she left him.