Journal of a Lifetime (Journals of Love) (3 page)

Marie was never one to listen to excuses. “What did you need from Helen?” she asked impatiently.

“Well, I wanted Helen’s thoughts on a trip I’ve decided to take to Alberta.”

Lindsey was reluctant to tell Marie her real reasons for the trip. For the past few months, Marie had been going through an unwelcome divorce and had been really wrapped up in her own thoughts.

“Oh—” Marie’s eyes focused on the straw she was twirling in her water. “When are you leaving?”

Lindsey took a sip of her own water in preparation for the response she would receive. “Uh . . . tomorrow morning.”

Marie looked at Lindsey through narrowed eyes. “Is there a reason you’re in such a rush? This is the first I’ve heard of you ever wanting to go to Alberta.”

“I don’t know. The timing was just right. I need to get away for a bit . . . ”

Marie apparently didn’t want to spend too much time on an uninteresting topic. “All right,” she said as she waved her hand, her signal to change the subject. “Hope you have a good time. Anyway, what did you think of Pastor Pete’s sermon this morning?”

Lindsey smiled, thankful this time for Marie’s short attention span. “I enjoyed it. That’s one of my favorite Psalms and always brings me peace. Did it do anything for you?”

Marie hesitated and looked out the window. “I need to process it a little more, but, surprisingly I do feel better. I’m trying to remind myself that God is in control of this whole situation. He will take care of me with or without my husband, right?”

Lindsey’s heart softened as she thought of all Marie was trying to come to terms with. “Of course, Marie. You’re going to be fine. You’re already better than you were six months ago. I don’t know how you survived living like that.” She hated to remind Marie of the nights spent alone when her husband didn’t come home, but Marie needed to remember the reality of how far she had come.

Once again, Marie shelved the subject with a slight wave of her hand. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go shopping today, but I guess you need to pack.”

“I do, and I have a few other things to take care of before I leave.”

They finished their breakfast and walked out to the parking lot together. Marie gave her a hug and whispered, “Be careful, Lindsey. I know I haven’t been the greatest friend lately, but I do need you.” Marie didn’t give Lindsey time to respond. She turned away, climbed into her green, convertible Mustang, compliments of her ex-husband in a weak attempt for forgiveness, and waved goodbye.

Lindsey was about to climb into her “I earned every penny of it” red Ford Expedition, when she saw Pete turning into the lot. She shut the door and waved as he spotted her.

“You’re still here?” he asked through his open window as he pulled into the parking space next to her.

“Yes. Can you believe it? I ended up getting out a little late after church.”

He laughed. “I bet Marie was steaming by the time you got here.”

“That’s for sure. Are you on your own?”

He laughed again. “No. Mrs. Worth is sending her daughter here to meet me.” He winked. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Oh yes,” Lindsey teased. “I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to have to sit through meal after meal with women who give you their undivided attention. It must be awful.”

Pete just shook his head. “Why don’t
you
just marry me and take me out of my misery?” he joked.

“Sorry. Can’t do that today. I’m going to Canada tomorrow, and a honeymoon would really mess up my plans right now.”

“For work?”

“No. I found an old journal of Nana’s from a trip she took to Alberta.” She recounted her story once again.

When she finished, Pete touched her on the arm. “I’m really proud of you for staying true to yourself and doing what you feel is best. I admire you, Lindsey.”

“Save your admiration for when I return, safe and in one piece.” Pete’s reaction left her open to the small fear that she’d been denying.

He took her into his embrace. “You’re going to be fine. God goes with you.” He kissed her cheek. “I’d better get in there. Don’t want to keep the young lady waiting.” He smiled as he turned away.

“Thanks, Pete. I’ll call you when I get home.”

She was surprised that she felt a bit sad that he wouldn’t be joining her on this adventure. He was definitely a man she could picture herself traveling with. She shook her head to tuck away those thoughts and pulled out her list of things to do before her trip.

When her errands were complete, she arrived home to five messages on her machine, three of which were from her mother. Ann once more reminded her to be careful, keep her bags in her sight, and to call her once the plane landed.

Lindsey smiled and shook her head as she set her shopping bags on the black and white tiled kitchen counter. Nana had gone through a “phase” ten years ago, and as a result the counter was a checkerboard of black and white, the cabinets were white, the sink and other appliances black, and the floor was white tile with a black square underneath the dining room table. More often than not, the room made Lindsey dizzy. She wasn’t much of a cook, so her time in the kitchen was limited to heating up soup from a can or making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She knew eventually she would remodel the kitchen, but couldn’t bear the thought yet of changing anything from the way Nana had wanted it.

After listening to her mother’s voice on the machine, she was surprised to hear Helen’s.

“Lindsey, I’ve been thinking more about this trip you’re taking.” She paused. “I really have a bad feeling about it and wish you wouldn’t go.”

She heard Helen swallow.

“It’s nothing that I can put my finger on . . . but just wanted to tell you that I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Lindsey thought that was odd. She’d always known Helen to be very levelheaded and supportive, so her caution made Lindsey’s fear return.

“I sure hope I’m doing the right thing,” she said to the empty black and white kitchen.

Then she heard Pete’s voice on the answering machine.

“Hey Lin. I hope you have a wonderful time and find the answers you’re looking for. I’ll be here when you get back.”

It was strange that Pete’s voice could lift her spirits so fast, but the smile returned to her face and the confidence to her heart. She smiled and went to finish packing her carry-on, including the pink polka-dot package her mom had given to her. A few hours later, she finished straightening the house, took one last look around the kitchen, and headed upstairs to try to get some sleep.

L
INDSEY
’
S USUAL PLEASANT
dreams were interrupted by disturbing visions of ominous wrong turns, delayed flights, and inconsiderate people. She got up at three o’clock in the morning for a glass of water, trying to rid her mind of the fears her dreams were bringing to the surface.

As she stood in the dark black and white kitchen, her eyes settled on the small ceramic cross on the windowsill. “Peace I leave with you,” it read, “my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27”

Nana had placed that cross where she would see it many times throughout the day. Lindsey rarely thought much of it, but in the darkness it seemed to shine.

“Thanks Nana,” Lindsey whispered. She returned to bed and slept peacefully until her alarm woke her just a few hours later.

Before she got out of bed, she said a prayer for guidance and safety as she began her first day of travel. She was beginning to actually feel excited.

The short fifteen minute drive by taxi seemed to last for hours. Lindsey was eager to get on the plane and get that part over with. She wished she’d be able to relax, but knew she wouldn’t until the plane landed safely on the ground. Her fear of flying was completely irrational, especially when she had her trust in God, but she could never shake the feeling that flying wasn’t natural. She preferred to have her feet on solid ground.

The flight check-in went quickly enough, but the security area took her half an hour to get through. After making her way through the crowds of people, she finally found an empty seat in the boarding area.

“Where are you heading?” The man seated next to her asked. He looked old enough to be her father, with salt and pepper hair, and was dressed in simple khaki shorts and a striped shirt.

She smiled. “I’m taking a vacation.” She wanted to keep the conversation simple, but didn’t want to be rude, so she asked, “And you?”

“Me too,” he said. “My flight’s been delayed already this morning though, so I’ve been here for two hours.”

“My goodness. I’m sorry to hear that.” She checked her watch, worried she might have to wait that long. She tried to reassure herself with the fact that she should be boarding within twenty minutes.

“My name’s John,” he said. “I own the McDonald’s over in Ypsilanti.”

“Hi John. I’m Lindsey,” she lifted her hand for a wave, uncomfortable shaking a stranger’s hand considering the big, bad germs her mother warned her about.

John looked at her with awareness in his eyes. “Are you nervous about your trip?”

Lindsey wasn’t sure how to respond. She was usually the one people told their stories to, not the other way around. “Traveling always makes me a little nervous,” she admitted by way of a safe response.

“I know what you mean,” John agreed. “I’ve been making this trip twice a year for six years to see my children, but I still get nervous.” He looked down at his hands held together in his lap. After a breath, he returned his gaze to hers. “Do you have everything you need?”

“I think so . . . ” She hesitated, wondering to what he was referring.

“Sorry, I’m not trying to be one of those scary strangers that freak people out.” He chuckled and brought out a phone calling card from his wallet. “Everyone traveling should have one of these,” he said, and handed it to her.

“Really? Come to think of it, that is one thing I forgot to bring with me.” She accepted the card from him. “Are you sure you don’t need it?”

“I have plenty,” he said as he returned his wallet to his pocket. “I think it might come in handy for you on this trip, and if it doesn’t, pass it along to someone else who might need it.” He stood up. “Well, looks like my plane’s finally boarding. It was nice to meet you, Lindsey.” John reached for his small bag. “Safe travels.”

“Thank you, John, you too. And thanks for the calling card!” Lindsey hoped all the people she would meet during her travels would be as nice as John.

Pulling out the travel journal in an attempt to comfort herself, she noticed a teenage boy looking for an empty seat. He wore a red skullcap over his black hair and had his eyebrow pierced, besides both ears and his nose. His pants were sagging and his body appeared to swim in them. He spotted the open chair beside her and slowly walked over to it. The look on his young face did not match the attitude that his attire was attempting to present. Lindsey looked over and smiled at him.

“Hey,” he nodded in her direction.

“Hi.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes with the boy listening to his music and Lindsey holding her journal.

He removed his earphones and turned toward her. “Do you like Nirvana?”

“The group?”

He laughed. “Yeah. With Kurt Cobain?”

“I thought he died?”

“Yeah, but the music is great.” He leaned toward her. “My friends and I, we had a séance and talked with Kurt.” He sat back, pleased with himself.

Lindsey’s eyes opened wide at this strange admission. “Huh,” was all she managed before he continued.

“Yeah. We had all these candles around, played his music, and were able to contact him. It was awesome.”

Lindsey looked into the eyes of the troubled young boy and searched for the innocence she knew should be there. “That’s dangerous territory to be in,” she cautioned. “You never know who else you might let through.”

He laughed. “Yeah. I know, but it was cool anyway.” He was about to put his earphones back in, but Lindsey put her hand on his arm to keep his attention and opened her mouth to say something. She heard her flight being called to prepare for boarding just then, though, and simply whispered a small prayer of protection over him. “Be safe,” she said.

He smiled again and placed his earphones back in.

Lindsey picked up her purse and carry-on bag. She didn’t check any luggage, as she wanted to get started right away when she landed in Canada. The line for boarding was already fifty people long, and she filed in with the rest of them.

She felt the change in the energy near her, so she knew someone had filed into line behind her before she saw him. He stood too close, which made her uncomfortable, but she didn’t have room to move forward without crowding the person in front of her. She could smell the alcohol on his breath as he leaned in.

“Why don’t you come and sit by me during the flight?” he asked. “I travel a lot, and if you sit there, no one will ask you to move.”

Lindsey turned to look at him and had to look up into his wrinkled, freckled face. His red hair, pale skin, and blue eyes were enough to tell her that he was of Irish descent. The green knit sweater with a shamrock on it he was wearing was like putting five flags on a stop sign. It wasn’t necessary.