Life Rewired (Aspen Friends, Book 3) (19 page)

She took a deep breath and released it. Tusk jumped off her lap and joined Dancer at the sliders. She stretched over to let them back into the house. “Do I look flippant?”

No, she didn’t. She looked sullen and hurt. I felt the same way. How could she not tell me this? I reached out and laid my hand on her arm. I needed this connection. She didn’t rip her arm away, which was a good sign.

“So what does ‘something like that’ mean?”

Her mouth opened then shut, swallowing roughly. Her eyes grew watery. “It means that I stole from twelve homes, but the police only knew about eight before the statute ran out on the others. It means that I was sentenced to eight years, but I got time off for good behavior and paroled for two years, so I spent a little over five years in prison. It means that once I got out of prison, trying to find a place to live or a job wasn’t much easier than just staying in to serve the full term.”

Every statement she listed made my stomach hurt more, but I still had to know. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She let out a disgusted snort. “Because I didn’t want you to think the way you now think of me.”

How was I thinking of her? I wasn’t even sure. How could she be? “You didn’t think I’d want to know?” My throat went dry. “We’ve been close friends for months now, and you’ve been lying this whole time.”

“I didn’t lie.”

I swiped my hand through the air. “Technicality. You could have said something when the police came by.”

She shook her head and blinked hard, causing a tear to spring from the corner of one eye. Her hand swiped it away instantly. “What would I have said? These guys are accusing me of doing something I’ve never done before because I once did something similar?”

“No, but you could have said that they were hassling you because of your record.”

“And that would have solved what for you?”

God, she was frustrating. I expected, I don’t know, pleading? At least something that showed she was sorry she hadn’t said anything. “I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

“Be realistic. How would that have gone? ‘Nice to meet you, Molly. I was in prison for five years.’ Would you have hung out with me if you’d known from the beginning?”

She had me there. I honestly didn’t know how I would have reacted. Would I have given her a fair shake? I would like to think I wouldn’t have prejudged her, but I probably would have. Prison wasn’t like finding out a friend had an arrest for pot possession in college. This was a big deal.

I tried swallowing the lump in my throat. A second tear raced down her cheek. I felt my eyes well up in sympathy. “Natalie knows?”

“Of course.” Falyn raked a hand through her hair before letting it drop to her thigh with a slap. “Even if she hadn’t known me when it happened, I would have told her. I wouldn’t put her business in jeopardy. It’s something I have to list on the application for my electrician’s license anyway.”

“So some random people at the electrical licensing board know about you, but you don’t tell the person you hang out with the most?” I knew I was bordering on petulant, but so many things were bugging me right now.

She flicked resigned eyes at me again. “That’s right. Strangers know more about me than you do, Molly.”

Her voice dripped with sarcasm, but I wouldn’t relent. “It feels like it.”

“But it’s not true.” She shook her head and sighed. “The way I am now isn’t how I was before I went inside. I was consumed with materialistic shit, keeping up appearances, trying to please my money-hungry girlfriend, and basically an ass to a lot of my clients because they thought they could disrespect me. I’m not that person anymore.”

She certainly wasn’t. Other than her car, bike, and tiny TV, she didn’t have much in the way of possessions. She didn’t even have an iPod or a computer of any kind. She was fine with listening to the radio in her car and never talked about wasting time on the internet. She didn’t care about trendy styles, and she seemed to stretch every minute out of her off time. Most of all, she didn’t have a money-hungry girlfriend. At least I assumed she didn’t.

“Did you do it for your girlfriend?”

She studied me for a full minute. The tears were gone. Despondency was all that remained. “I’d love to say yes, but I made the mistake. I let myself get caught up in what she wanted and what her friends had. Every time I went out on a job, I’d deal with these assholes who had so much expensive crap and no regard for a worker like me who made it possible for them to enjoy all that crap. I convinced myself that I was doling out justice. Assholes shouldn’t have what they had. I was there to help in that process.” She snorted derisively. “I was wrong. I was the asshole. I was the bad person.” She sounded so heartbroken. So sorry. Like she wished she could go back in time and undo everything, even if it meant a harder life for her.

“I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

Her hazel eyes flicked over to meet mine. “You didn’t know me then. You know someone else entirely, and that’s why I never told you. There’s no good way and no good time to say, ‘I was a callous shithead, who did so much wrong.’ Not to someone who’s become so important. I didn’t want you to know that I was ever that kind of person. I’m sorry if hearing this now changes how you feel about our friendship. I never wanted that.”

I shook my confused head. Too many thoughts muddled my feelings. I couldn’t get a handle on how to deal with this. It wasn’t like she’d changed from two hours ago. She was still the same Falyn who called me the other night because she knew I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with my lousy tour group on their second day. She was still the woman who listened to me blather on and on about those jerks without once interrupting me.

And then she wasn’t. She was the woman who’d been my friend for months and somehow managed not to tell me about something that consumed more than seven years of her life. I just couldn’t reconcile that.

“Does Vivian know?”

“I assume so. I never told her, but I’m sure Natalie has.”

“What about the guys on your crew?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t tell them.”

That meant I could at least talk to Vivian. Why she hadn’t told me, especially after she knew I’d slept with Falyn, I didn’t know. If I’d found out something mind-blowing about Natalie, I sure as hell would have told her.

“Okay.”

A flash of hope came into her sad eyes. “What does that mean?”

I wanted to keep that hope there, but I wouldn’t lie. “I don’t know.”

She pushed up from her chair, pacing the length of the side porch and back. She looked at me and sighed. “I understand.”

I stood to meet her. I wish I understood. I couldn’t believe how much it hurt to learn these things about her and to learn them from someone else. She hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me. It didn’t feel fair or good. “I need some time to think.”

Her mouth nudged open. A formidable expression came over her face. “Right. Well…okay then.”

That was a brushoff if I’ve ever heard one. I wanted to assure her that I wasn’t trying to blow her off just to get away from her. I honestly needed time to process this. I didn’t like feeling bad for making her feel bad about something she’d caused. I should be the indignant one.

“Yeah. Okay then,” I repeated her brushoff, not bothering to hide the hurt from my eyes as I walked away.

Natalie was still working on the house when I drove up to talk to Vivian. The rest of her crew was off, but she would probably go well into the night. I wanted to smile because I knew how much this house meant to Vivian and would mean to Natalie. They’d be done a month early at this pace.

I stopped just inside the door, taking in all the changes. The place looked almost done to me. Natalie and Vivian probably had a million finishing details on their punch list, but it looked like every drawing Vivian had shown me of the final phase of her dream home. If I weren’t so disturbed by what just happened, I’d be happy just standing here.

“Hey, Molly.” Nat came in from the kitchen to greet me.

“Hey. Is Viv around?”

Her brown eyes showed curiosity at my urgent tone. “She was taking care of Mason and Teddy, but she’s probably at the cabin by now.”

“Great, thanks.” I turned to leave.

“Is everything okay?”

I paused to look at her. I liked her a lot, but we weren’t buddies. We could be, but she placed a lot of importance on my friendship with Viv. She didn’t want to force her way into it, which made me like her more. It was always so obnoxious when a friend’s new girlfriend just assumed she’d become my best friend, too.

I studied this woman who let Viv and me stay as close as we’d always been without showing any passive-aggressive resentment. We didn’t have heart-to-hearts, but she knew Falyn well. Maybe she could provide a different point of view.

“Falyn was in prison.”

Her chin dipped once. “She told you.”

“No, a cop told me.”

“It bothers you.” Not a question. Natalie didn’t really question people. She observed and made comments if asked.

I might as well be just as frank. “It does.”

“She’s not that person.”

Exactly what Falyn had said. “You don’t worry?”

I didn’t have time to feel mortified by the implication of my question before Natalie answered, “I don’t. She’s the electrician that taught me everything I know about electrical work and the woman who looked out for me on jobsites. She’s more concerned about my business than her own job. She’d sacrifice circumstances in her life to ease mine. I know she’ll never do what she did again. I know it, but best of all, she knows it.”

That rang true. So why was I having such a hard time? It just hurt to know that this woman I’d been growing to care so much about hadn’t told me something that anyone would consider a crucial part of her. Hurt a crazy amount, actually.

“Did you know her girlfriend at the time?”

Her face flinched in distaste. “I met her a few times. Didn’t like her.”

“Was she the reason?”

“No one can force Falyn to do anything.”

I knew that, too. Why did I feel so sure of things about her and now so unsure of things about her?

“What was she like?” Why was I asking that? Of all the things to ask.

Natalie bit back a smile. “Pretty, short, busty, and flighty.”

Everything I’m not. “Was Falyn in love?”

“They lived together. I don’t know if she was in love with her. She’d hired on with an electrical contractor by then. We didn’t see as much of each other after that.”

“I just…” What? Why couldn’t I figure out how I felt about this other than confused and angry and upset and hurt and, and, and.

“Don’t like that she was in prison, or didn’t tell you about it?” she finished for me. She shrugged and gave a small smile. “You may not like either, but everything she’s gone through makes her the person you like today. That should be worth something.”

It was, but still, it wasn’t enough. My trust in her had faltered. She’d had a major life event, had the opportunity to tell me about it many times, and chose not to share that with me. What if something else major came up?

I thanked Nat and took my leave. Vivian might add a different perspective. At the very least she could help me with these muddled feelings.

“I found out about Falyn’s record today,” I said as soon as Vivian opened the cabin door to me.

The smile she wore slid off her face. She pulled me in for a hug. “How do you feel about it?”