Mercy F*uck (13 page)

“Spanx,” she actually giggled and when she saw I was lost she explained, “It’s a type of bra.”

“This is no bra, this is…Fuck, I don’t know what this is.”

“These girls don’t hold themselves up anymore, I require reinforcements now a days.”

“I’m cutting this contraption off,” I announce. “And when your tits need a boost, you can have my hands.”

“A true gentleman,” she snorts but I shut her up when I pinned her against the banister.

“I need you to trust me not to hurt you. Can you do that?”

Drew blinks once, twice and I saw the uncertainty leave her when she says, “Yes.”

Fucking ecstatic about that, I leaned in to kiss her when she made it clear, “I’m saying yes because I won’t let you hurt me again, Axle.”

“That’s fair. I’m looking forward to proving you wrong, Drew.” Then I took her by the hand and led her upstairs. Before getting to my room, I make a right and announce, “We need a shower first.”

“Thank God,” she said shucking that hideous bra then jeans leaving her only in a sexy thong. “Are you going to shower with your clothes on?”

“Need a minute,” I say palming myself. “Fuck woman, I thought your body was tight then, it doesn’t hold a candle to now.”

“Really?” she asked twirling slowly in a circle.
Nope, still not shy
…

“Work of art,” I promise her and when she turns and my eyes zero in on her bald pussy, I think I whimpered, “That’s new.”

“Waxing’s where it’s at,” she grins seductively before announcing, “Your turn,” and releases my belt followed by lowering my zipper. Sliding her hand in, she grips my cock, pulls it out and balances it in her palm.

Her gulp was audible and my smirk was automatic. “Your cock deserves its own zip code.”

“You gotta stop stroking it,” I groan and like she hadn’t heard me she keeps petting it and mumbles directly to it, “Did you miss me?”

Before I fucked her standing up, I forced her into the shower to wash the river out of her hair.

This was a moment I’d waited my whole life for and neither of us were coming while we smelled like sewer.

“You had sex with Axle?” Deanne screamed into the phone. “And then you left?”

“Did you miss the part where he called me a mercy fuck?”

“Who cares, it’s Axle!”

“I care!” I shrilled.

“Oh my God,” she rushed out. “You love him.”

“No I don’t,” I lied.

“Any other guy calls you anything you shrug it off. My big sis is in love.”

“No I’m not,” I warned her.

“Go talk to him, Drew.”

“Pick a side, Deanne.”

“Wait until I tell –”

Sisters were a pain in the ass.

Axle washed my hair.

A first for me.

Then he took the cloth to my back before kissing each shoulder.

Another first for me.

For us.

He refused to let me do the same in return so after several tries I gave up and simply enjoyed it.

His massive hard on kept poking me while he seemed able to ignore it choosing to focus on soaping up every inch of my body. Maybe he could ignore it, but I could not.

I was never big into blowies but I wanted to swallow his cock whole. I wanted the full experience of gagging, spitting, and him coming in my mouth. But every time I went for it, he found the will to deny me.

Clean and dry because he handled that for me too, we’re standing in front of his bed in towels. Mine was pulled tight to my body while his slung low on his hips.

His chest was broader now, more defined. His arms were muscled up but not overly so. Back then I loved his long messy hair but I loved his close cut hair even more. It didn’t hide his face and Axle had a face that deserved to be seen. He had bright eyes despite them being brown. He also had the beginnings of a beard but it was because he’d forgotten to shave. His chest had just the right amount of hair and I followed the trail down past his navel. My gulp was stuck in my throat because this was real and real was freaking me out.  It was going to happen and I could even admit I wanted it to happen but I could not, would not, allow it to mean anything. Sex I could handle, it’s the other shit I was certain I’d screw up.

“Stop it,” he barked startling me. “You’re already shutting me out, do not fucking do it, Drew.”

“I haven’t done anything,” I lie, gripping my towel tighter.

“Bullshit. You can tell yourself this is just a fuck but it’s total bullshit. I know you,” he says stepping to me. “And the one thing I do know is I am not and never will be just a fuck for you.”

“Don’t be so sure,” I throw out at him and he reacted.

“You want a grudge fuck?” he asks ripping my towel away. “Would that make us even?”

Standing there naked shouldn’t have bothered me considering I had just been naked in the shower a few minutes ago. But it did because I felt vulnerable. I hated not being in control and I hated that he saw right through me too.

Lifting my chin with one hand and releasing his towel with the other, he pulls us close together and just stares.

Unable to look away but afraid of what he’ll see in me, I try backing away but he wasn’t having it. I was stuck and I was warm. I was also screwed. Screwed because I loved it.

In a low voice, a soothing voice he says, “The night you chose me I wanted to tell you that I loved you.” The hitch in my breathing could not be helped because the hurt needed out, demanded to be released. It had been festering inside me for years and the man who caused it was hell bent on ridding me of it. “I felt like I’d already loved you for a lifetime and Christ, when you touched me, how you touched me, I knew you felt the same.”

“I did,” I admit, albeit quietly.

“I should have told you,” he whispered against my lips. “Then when you heard those words you wouldn’t have believed it because you would have known how I felt. Shit, I waited for you too, Drew.”

With my cheek pressed against the hair on his chest, my arms found their way around his middle and I could only hold on. “Tell me you thought about me.”

“Every day,” I answer honestly however I didn’t feel the need to add that most days I wanted him run over by a truck.

“All these years, fucking wasted.”

“We were young. There was no guarantee we would have lasted,” I try explaining.

“Do you even buy the shit you’re selling?” he laughed into my hair.

“Denial is expensive,” I say on a laugh as well. “I can afford it.”

“We would have had good memories. Not the shit stuck in my head or the shit stuck in yours. Regret tastes like acid in my mouth right now…”

“You’re not responsible for what’s in my head.”

“I don’t like that you’ve closed yourself off to love,” he says meeting my eyes. “But I’m also grateful that you did because whether you know it or not, you were still waiting for me too.”

Refusing to acknowledge his words because I wasn’t ready to trust them, I decided to go with distraction. Moving my hands from his back to his semi, I take him in my palm and squeeze gently.

“Distracting me with a hand job won’t work,” he moans widening his stance.

“That’s why I’m going with a blow job,” I announce sinking to my knees.

Taking him in hand, I wasted no time wrapping my lips over his warm skin. At the moment of contact, my eyes rolled back. Axle tasted amazing. Sinking his hands in my hair, I plant mine on his thighs and suck. I added a few licks too, but in the end my mouth preferred suction.

“Fuck that feels good,” he praises as his grip tightens. Adding more suction and cupping his balls, he roars something I don’t understand and pulls me to a standing position.

He wanted to kiss me, I could feel it and because I could feel it, I needed to avoid it.

Kissing for me was a personal thing. A personal thing I did not engage in often. Even after all these years I kissed Axle more during our one night together than I had all the men I’d been with
combined
. Twice he’s tried leaning in take to snag my mouth and both times I’ve resisted. “Give me what I want.”

“I am,” I argue using his cock as a distraction.

“Pain in the ass,” he grunts then takes control by lifting me up from under my arms and tackling me to his bed. “You can’t even let me in enough to kiss you?” Pinned beneath him I had so many things I wanted to say but stayed silent. Axle was not struggling with any such problem. “I’ve dreamed about kissing you every night for nine years. Nothing else has ever come close.” I didn’t like the fact that anyone but me had kissed him at all.

Because he’s mine mine mine!

“You kiss with your heart and soul,” he said nipping my bottom lip. “You kiss me with everything that you’ve got. A man doesn’t forget that. I’m the man that needs that right now, Drew.”

He was right, I did. Which was why I was afraid to try. But then he balanced his forearms on either side of my body and thoroughly invaded my space, my senses.

“I ached for you. Still do.”

Like a bow strung tight, I snapped.

Grabbing his face, I assault his mouth intending to shut him up. Wanting to show him I wasn’t sweet anymore, I wasn’t tame and I sure as fuck wasn’t his. But the opposite happened because when he gave it right back to me, I forgot my intentions.

I forgot all of it, I simply felt.

And God dammit, I felt
everything
.

Pinning my arms above my head, he orders me to keep them there and I comply. Curiosity had me obeying his demands which was not my usual. His mouth grazed my neck and shoulder, hips grazed each nipple and swirled his tongue inside my bellybutton. Pretending I wasn’t into it was useless because I was gone. Fucking gone. And when his lips found my clit and he placed a kiss there, I moaned loud and long. “Ever been this wet before?”

“No.” Not a lie.

“Can’t believe I didn’t do this sooner,” he says running his finger between my legs. “Can’t believe this pussy is mine again.” Coming from anyone else I would have laughed but it wasn’t funny, it was tearing me apart in a really good way. “Tell me I can have it.”

Pillow talk wasn’t in my wheelhouse either but I found myself saying, “You can have it.”

And then he took it. With his tongue, fingers, and even his teeth; he took all of it. Spread open wide and sitting up on my elbows to watch, coming all over Axle’s tongue was the second most beautiful moment of my life. Falling to my back to calm down, he crawled up my body, cradled my face and kissed me. “You taste like promise.”

“Promise doesn’t have a taste,” I argue then lick my own lips. Personally, I thought I tasted salty and bland but there was no point in arguing.

“Yeah it does.
You
.”

“Fuck me,” I demand wrapping my legs around his back.

“I’m not fucking you,” he growled but couldn’t help grinding between my legs either.

Clearly to get off again we needed a compromise so I offered him one. “Fine, then
I’ll
fuck
you
.”

“I’m going to take care of you,” he promises lining up but never taking his eyes from mine. I had forgotten how beautiful he’d been when he took my virginity. I also forgot how beautiful he made me feel when he did. “I’m going to take good fucking care of you and you’re going to let me.” Digging my nails into his shoulders, his weight keeps me from burying my face in his neck to hide. “Eyes on me. You’re going to watch me do it, Drew.”

Saying no to him never entered my mind. So when he slowly slides inside of me and all thoughts of fucking and our past fled me. Because when he was in there deep I only felt one thing.

I felt like I’d come home. I had forgotten what that felt like too.