My Fake Boyfriend is Better Than Yours (9 page)

I make sure Mom is busy and not going to bother me for a while. I shut my bedroom door and launch a Web browser. My home page, Google, pops up, and I type in the search phrase “why best friends lie.” There are about fifty million hits. Apparently I'm not the first person to have a best friend with a lying problem.

I click on link after link after link. It's amazing the things people lie about. A lot of it seems to be people making themselves sound better than they are. Like this on the Dear Tara advice site:

 

Dear Tara,

My friends and I don't know what to do. We have this other “friend” who we think is a complete liar. She says that the Jonas Brothers are her cousins yet she can't get us tickets to
any of their concerts. She says she has this great big ginormous house with a huge pool, monster TV, and a Wii with every game ever released in the American market yet she can't have people over to visit. Now she says she's going to be in the next Kate Hudson movie and it will be filming this summer on a beautiful beach on the French Riviera and her parents are flying her there after school lets out. What do you want to bet it will be rated R so we can't see it? We tell her that we know she's lying but she insists that she's telling the truth. It's so annoying! What should we do?

Signed,

Annoyed in Denver, CO

 

And Tara's response:

 

Dear Annoyed,

Wow, I can see how frustrating this is for you guys. It sounds like your “friend” really wants you to like her. You must be a great group of kids to hang around. Maybe you should cut this “friend” a bit of a break. It sounds like she's feeling inferior around you
guys and she's making things up to get you to like her. Would you like her if she wasn't really a cousin of the Jonas Brothers? And she didn't have the pool or the Wii? No movie to shoot in the summer? If the answer is yes, then let her know that you like her for who she is. If she feels like who she is
is
okay, then she'll stop trying to be somebody else.

—Tara

Huh. Interesting. I can see Tara's point in this situation, but I'm not sure that it applies to Sea and me. She sure doesn't feel inferior to me; we've been best friends for way too long for something like that to pop up now. And she's not making
lots
of stuff up. She's just making up one specific person. Her “boyfriend.” But I won't completely rule it out. I'm going to take all advice into consideration.

I read for the next two hours, taking notes and trying to absorb absolutely everything I can about liars. It's scary how many people have this problem. There are families that break up over lies and people who can't keep jobs because no one can trust them. It seems like once liars get comfortable lying they do it forever. Well, I can't let that happen to Sea. I need to save her
now before she embraces this lying life too tightly and there's no turning back.

I compile my research into a plan of attack, and I'm hopeful that it's going to work. Operation Save Sea From Herself (OSSFH) starts Monday.

OSSFH, a list:

 

1. Let her know that who she is
   is
   okay.
   
2. Make her feel safe.
   
3. Try to relate to her situation.
   
4. Help her to avoid situations in which she tends to lie.
   
5. Encourage her when she tells the truth.
   

 

I walk into school Monday morning with my list on a folded sheet of notebook paper, tucked down in the back pocket of my jeans. I'm feeling really good about the work I've done and ready to tackle this problem head-on. Sienna is at her locker, talking to Lauren and Anica and gathering her stuff for first period. The first item on my Save Sea list keeps flashing in my head. Who you are is okay. Who you are is
okay
.

“Sea!” I say brightly.

“Hey, Tori,” Sea replies. “I was just telling Lauren
and Anica about the facial you gave me on Friday night.”

“Yeah, I can't believe you put ketchup on her face,” Lauren says, making an ick face.

I shrug. “It seemed like a good idea. Though Sienna sure doesn't need facials anyway. Her skin is so naturally radiant all the time, don't you think?”

Lauren looks at Sea's face and then back to me and shrugs. “I guess.”

“Wow. Thanks, Tori.” Sea giggles nervously.

“Don't thank me. It's your skin. It's almost as glowing as your personality. Which is really super by the way. You're so nice and fun and great to be around. A really fantastic person.” I pat Sea on the shoulder.

She raises her eyebrows in this slightly horrified way. Like how someone might look if their mom picked them up from school sporting hair rollers. That happened to me once in the fourth grade. I shudder even thinking about it.

Lauren and Anica shift uncomfortably.

“Um, well, we'll see you guys later,” Anica says.

“Yeah, bye,” Lauren adds, and the two walk quickly down the hall.

“What's with you?” Sienna asks, once the girls are out of earshot.

“I don't know what you mean,” I counter.

“You're acting kind of weird,” she says. “That stuff you said was totally embarrassing in front of Lauren and Anica.”

“It was? I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to be.” I was only trying to let her know that she was okay.

Sienna frowns. “Hmm. Well, all right then. Let's get to homeroom before we're late.”

We arrive in homeroom seconds before the bell rings and slide into our seats. Natalie and Avery are already in their seats, talking about their horrible morning bus ride. It seems the bus driver had to pull over three times to talk to some rowdy sixth graders.

We listen for a minute, and then Avery turns to Sienna. “So, how was your weekend? More late-night IMing with Antonio?” she asks, singing Antonio's name.

Sea grins. “Oh yeah. We IMed so late last night that I actually fell asleep on my laptop. The last thing I sent was ‘t6y6ht6y.' ” The girls laugh.

I slip the paper with the OSSFH list out of my pocket and eye number two. Make her feel safe.

“Hey, Sea,” I say.

She turns her head toward me. “Yeah?”

I keep my voice low so Avery and Natalie can't hear me. “You know that you can tell me anything, absolutely anything, and I promise I won't get angry. I'll always be
your friend no matter what.” I take a deep breath. “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Sienna gives me the crazy eye. “No thanks, Dr. Phil.” She looks a little irritated. “Sheesh, what's your deal today, Tori? Stop being such a weirdo.” She turns around to face Avery and Natalie.

“No deal,” I say to her back. “I just want you to feel safe . . .” Oh, man. I'm not supposed to
tell
her what I'm doing! “I mean, uh, nothing. I didn't mean anything. Go on with your story.”

Okay, I'm going to have to be a lot more careful or this isn't going to work. If she knows what I'm doing, she'll get mad and I won't help her at all.

In the hallway between third and fourth period, I spot Sea at the water fountain getting a drink. I figure it's as good a time as any to try to relate to her (number three on the list). I race over to her side as she's wiping some water off her chin.

“Hey, what's up?” I say, leaning against the wall.

Sienna straightens and narrows her eyes at me, like she's trying to figure out what I'm up to. “Nothing. Getting a drink.”

“I love your shoes.”

Sienna looks down at her black ankle boots. “You do? Gee, thanks.”

I nod. “Actually, they make me think of this one time when I was ten and there were these beautiful sparkly ballet flats that I wanted; I
had
to have them. My mom said that I already had a pair of nice dress shoes and didn't need another. I hid the left shoe of my pair in the garage on the morning of a fancy party we were going to and told my mom I couldn't find it so that she'd have to buy me new shoes, and it worked. We had to stop at the shoe store on the way to the party and I got my sparkly flats.”

I clear my throat and lean in a little closer. “So,” I go on, “did you ever do something like that? You know, tell a lie to get something that you wanted?”

Sienna stares at me for at least twenty seconds, mouth hanging open. Then, in a really slow and condescending voice she says, “If you are done tripping down memory lane, I have an English class to get to.”

So much for relating to her.

After history class I head for the cafeteria to grab some lunch and to put the last number on my list, number five (encouragement whenever Sea
does
tell the truth), into action. It's not that I skipped over number four. I tried helping her avoid the situations that she tended to lie in
the entire
morning. But that was just about
everything, let me tell you. The only times she didn't tell Antonio stories were when she was in the bathroom or the library (we're not allowed to talk in the library). I had to fake stomach troubles to get her to come with me to the bathroom so many times this morning. And I tried to get her to meet me in the library during study hall, but she refused. She suggested I go lie down in the nurse's office instead.

I get in the lunch line behind Sienna, completely motivated to encourage her so darn much that she'll never lie again. “Hi, Sea,” I say cheerfully.

She glances over her shoulder at me. “Oh. Hi,” she says flatly.

This isn't a normal Sea response to me, but I've kind of put her through the truth-inducing ringer today. I don't think she knows that I'm trying to help her stop her compulsive lying, but she can tell I'm up to something. I'll have to be sneakier, that's all.

“Was this tuna packed in oil or water?” Sienna asks the lunch lady.

“What's it matter?” the lunch lady slings back.

Sea scoffs. “It matters quite a bit actually. The tuna packed in oil has extra fat.”

“She's right,” I pipe in with my sparkly positive reinforcement.

Sienna nods at me, appreciating my backing her up.

Pssh. This is so easy.

The lunch lady sighs. “Sweetie, take your lunch and move it along, okay?”

“I will,” Sienna says in a huff. She pointedly steps past the tuna and picks up a plain salad.

We pay for our lunches and head for the table. “Could you believe that?” Sienna asks me.

I hesitate. Could
I
believe it? Do I say yes, I believe that it happened, or no, I can't believe it happened? Though it did. I was just there. Oh boy, I'm confused. I smile as encouragingly as I can for my answer.

Sienna sits down at the table, and I take the empty seat next to her.

“I have a completely obscene amount of math homework to do tonight,” Natalie moans.

“Tell me about it,” Sea says. “I have an insane amount of homework tonight too.”

I nod. “That's right! You do.”

Sienna cocks her head and gives me a look. I shove my apple into my mouth so I don't have to say anything.

Yum. Fuji.

“Well, I have to get all A's this quarter to fund my winter wardrobe,” Natalie says.

I raise my eyebrows, and Avery explains. “Her mom pays her for each A.”

“Oh,” I say. Wish my mom and dad paid me for A's.

“I bought this outfit over the weekend,” Natalie says. She looks down at her clothes.

“I was going to mention it,” Sienna says. “Your skirt is so cute. I have one in blue.”

I clap my hands and yell out, “Yes, you do, Sea! Good one!”

No one says a word. Sienna isn't the only one giving me the crazy eye now. The whole table is looking at me. Maybe my truth cheerleading is a bit too much. It seemed to be working at first. I think I need to tone down my enthusiasm a little and not be so vocal about reinforcing her good behavior.

I turn around like I need to check the clock on the wall. Really I'm hoping that when I turn back around the conversation will have moved on to something else.

It works and the girls switch topics and I try to do more listening than talking. I busy myself unwrapping my giant chocolate chip cookie.

“My mom grounded me from the Internet for the day,” Avery says, “because I didn't have time to clean up my room last night. I mean, it's my room anyway. I don't know why she is so harsh.”

“My mom gets like that too,” Sienna says.

That's true. I break off a tiny piece of my cookie and slide it over to Sea. She pops it in her mouth.

“I can't leave for school without my bed being made every morning,” Sienna continues.

I've heard her say this before. I slide another piece of cookie over to Sea, and she picks it up and eats it.

“And if I leave a wet towel in my room for even five minutes, the woman explodes,” Sea says.

Oh yeah. I've seen Mrs. Baker turn purple over a wet towel on the floor. I push a third piece of cookie at Sea, and she eats it without even looking at it.

“To keep the peace I just do a five-minute quick clean of my room every night. It's worth it to avoid the fight if I don't,” Sienna concludes.

Yeah. She's been doing the five-minute cleanup thing for years. I slide another piece of cookie toward her.

She whirls around to face me, anger in her eyes.

Uh-oh.

“What are you doing?” she snarls at me.

I try to giggle. “What do you mean?”

“The cookies,” she says. “What's the deal with the cookies? Are you rewarding me with treats like a dog or something?”

I feel the blood drain from my face. Busted. “Gosh no,” I say, “I would never give a dog chocolate.”

Yeah. Not the totally right thing to say.

Sienna jumps to her feet, slapping her hands on the table. “Tori, I've had it! Until you start behaving like a normal person again, don't talk to me!” With that, she turns and stomps off.

Well, that was a big ol' bust. Positive reinforcement? Not so positive.