Ripping Pages (9 page)

He came back with two boxes and a brown paper sack. We rode the rest of the way in silence. When we stopped in front of his building, he paid the cabby, and I got out first. I offered to help him with the food, but he just smiled and shook his head motioning for me to head inside the building. As we rode up the elevator, I didn’t know what to say to make it any less awkward so I said nothing, and Van followed suit. He opened the door to his penthouse and gestured me in. As I walked in, I mumbled an, “I'll be right back, Van.” I excused myself and stepped into the elevator riding up to the second floor. We'd walked around all day in the sun, and I needed to bathe and change before eating dinner. I also needed to clear my head.

I stepped into the guest bathroom and into the shower.
I was a total ass.
Here he was taking me out for the day when I'm sure he had better things to do. He was buying me dinner and letting me stay in his house. I wish I wasn’t so world-weary. My wounds from James still felt fresh, and I wish I had never met him. But then again, I would probably have never had the guts to come to New York and shoot for the stars, so I guess he did me a favor.

I stepped out and toweled off putting on a fresh pair of yoga pants and a Frankie Says Relax tee. I pulled my wet hair up in a clip and started for the first floor feeling even crappier about how I'd been acting. How much ruder could I be? I walked over to the kitchen, and Van turned around smiling as he handed me a wine glass filled with frozen berries. He took the brown paper sack and pulled out a bottle of my absolute favorite wine, Cupcake Moscato D'Asti and popped the cork on it. He reached over with his fingers holding onto mine as he poured the chilled wine over the frozen berries. He remembered my favorite drink and the berries? That was so sweet.

“Figured you could use this. Maybe after a few glasses you'll realize I'm not the dick you think I am,” he said smiling sarcastically.

“I–Uh, I–I'm sorry Van. I really am. I'm just so damaged from before. I don’t think you're a dick. I really don’t. I appreciate you letting me stay here and everything. You're just so easy to be with… I'm just scared to get close only to have my world crumble again.”

He stepped up to me and brushed his index finger across my cheek in a tender embrace. His voice was low and determined as he said, “Tinley, I would never hurt you. I hope you know that. Whatever this is between us, I know you're feeling it, because it’s too powerful for you not to. I've never felt the way I feel when I’m with you. Ever. We barely know each other, but you're all I think about. When something funny happens and I want to tell someone, you're the first person that pops into my head. You're the last face I see when I close my eyes at night.”

He stepped away, and continued getting dinner ready. I walked over to him as he placed the pizza and garlic bread on plates for us. I sidled up next to him and gently grabbed his face and pulled him to me, hesitating a bit when his lips touched mine. I was never a good initiator in this sort of thing, even with James after a year and a half. Van took control grabbing the back of my neck and deepening the kiss. His tongue tangled with mine. He moaned and grabbed my ass squeezing harshly. I moaned and he growled and broke away, nibbling my neck and collarbone. I pulled his hair ever so slightly guiding him lower. His head reached the swell of my breasts over my shirt.

And suddenly, the room went pitch black.

We both stilled. Our heavy breathing the only sound in the room.

“What just happened?” I asked still panting.

He brushed my cheek with his palm, somehow finding it in the immense darkness.

“Well, I think we just blew a transformer with all the electricity from that kiss. Damn, Sweetness.”

I laughed and looked toward where I thought the windows were. I couldn’t see any lights from the skyline or the streets below.

“I am guessing we're in the midst of a blackout,” Van said.

“A blackout?”

“Yeah, it happens here sometimes. Different reasons. It’s been a while since the last one. It shouldn’t last too long. I'm going to go find some candles so we can see.”

“Here, take my cell phone. I have a flashlight app on it.”

I dug around the counter and found it, turning on the light for him.

“Tinley?”

“Yeah?”

“You're not going to go with me?”

“Why? Is the big sexy rock star scared?”

Oh My God. Seriously? Did I just call him that?

Face palm.

“Actually,” I could hear the smile in his voice, “I thought you might be scared and need me to hold you.”

I laughed, nervous for some reason. “Well, since you won’t admit you're a scaredy cat, then I'll pretend I'm afraid of the dark.”

I couldn’t see him or hear him. I reached out for him.

“Van?”

I started to walk toward the living room or where I thought it would be. I tripped over the storage bench and banged my knee. “Shit! Van? Where are you?”

No answer.

I felt my way back over to the kitchen counter.

I rubbed my knee trying to stop the throbbing.

I felt two huge arms envelop me from behind, and then I saw the flicker of a lighter as Van lit a candle he was holding. He lit several more votive candles, placing a few on the counter in front of me, and then he walked to the living area setting the rest of them down on the table next to the couch.

He walked back over to me as I stood facing the counter watching the flames dance. I felt warm breath on the nape of my neck. He sucked and kissed it gently and then licked from my nape to my earlobe. I trembled as he turned me to face him. His features looked even more beautiful in the candlelight.

“There we go,” he said as he licked his lips. “Now, where were we?”

Even though I was just making out with him like a horny teenager, I immediately felt insecure. Here I was, with this gorgeous guy who could have any girl he wanted at the snap of a finger, and probably did, and I'm sitting here with my so not toned stomach, jiggly ass, wet hair, no makeup, wearing yoga pants and an old t-shirt about to give it up to this player.

Yeah, I was every man's fantasy.

I was all mixed up. Van was awakening things in me, good and bad, that I wasn’t used to.

Sensing my nervousness, he bent his knees to look me in the eyes. “What's wrong? Are we going too fast?”

“No, believe me, I want this. It's just. I—I— Why do you want me? I mean, there are thousands of girls who throw themselves at you every day, and I don’t want to be that way. I'm in your house, and I'm sure tons of females have come through like a revolving door,” I paused realizing how rude that sounded. “No offense,” I said sheepishly. “I just don't want you to get the wrong idea about me,” I mumbled, looking at the floor.

“Tinley. I told you before, and I will tell you a million times until you understand it—I don’t think of you that way. I know you're not here because I'm Van Whitaker of Ripping Pages. I know you're here because you actually, maybe, kind of like me.” He winked. “And the reason I want you? Well, fuck, Sweetness. Isn't it obvious? Look at you…” He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. “Sweet perfection. All wrapped up in one fucking sexy ass package.”

I guffawed. “Yeah...Ok.”

“Don’t doubt yourself. You are unbelievably stunning.”

“In my pajamas with no makeup? Haha.”

“Especially in your pajamas. I'll take these sexy clothes over the other outfits any day, and you are flawless.”

“Van, I—I’m probably bigger than most of the girls you're used to. I don’t go to the gym every day, and I like to eat cupcakes from time to time.”

He chuckled as he grabbed my ass and squeezed. “You, Tinley, are so perfect, I can’t even describe it. Please don’t ever doubt how unbelievably gorgeous you are.”

Before I could make a rebuttal, Van's mouth was on mine again.

This time he grabbed the back of my knees without breaking the kiss and hoisted my ass onto the countertop.

He moved himself in between my legs and hitched my legs behind him around his hips. I moaned when his hands moved to cup my breast over my shirt. He leaned down and kissed my breast through my shirt and bra, kneading it with his hand as he did. He roughly grabbed the hem of my shirt and yanked it off, causing the clip in my hair to pop out and clang to the ground. He thrust his fingers into my crazy mane of now unkempt, wet hair and pulled ever so slightly as his mouth ravaged mine again. I grabbed the back of his t-shirt and gripped it tightly as he suckled my neck while kneading my breast over my bra. I panted and moaned and grabbed the back of his neck, directing his mouth to my neglected breast, and he obliged. I could feel his erection pressed against the thin layer of my yoga pants as he ground himself into my core.

God, how long had it been since I'd been touched like this? James and I never went at it like this, not even in the beginning when it was new and exciting. I began to feel intimidated. Van was obviously experienced and here I was just a few rolls in the hay from my virginity. I didn’t want to disappoint him and be the worst he'd ever had.

Oh my god. I was going to be a lousy lay.

Van felt me tense and pulling away breathless, he asked, “What is it, baby?”

“I just, I'm not really, um, I don’t really have a lot of experience doing this,” I whispered.

“Sweetness, Are you a virgin?” he asked, curious as he rubbed the small of my back.

“No, no, nothing like that. I just. I've only had one, um, partner. I don’t want to be terrible.”

He cupped my face smiling at me, his gray eyes reflecting the candlelight flickering behind me, “You couldn't be terrible if you tried. Just so you know, this right here, has been the hottest fucking make-out session I've ever had. Seriously.” He pecked my nose and then rubbed his along my jaw line. “If you want to stop, just tell me,” he whispered, biting my ear.

I trembled. “No,” I moaned. “Don’t stop.”

My legs still wrapped around his hips, he picked me up and carried me toward the living room stopping and slamming me up against the elevator. He kissed me with such passion and determination that if he wasn’t holding me, I was sure I would have melted to the floor. He growled, breaking away from me, and then carried me to the couch. He gently laid me down. He leaned over me and kissed me voraciously, and then he reached behind me to unclasp my bra. When I was completely topless before him, even in the small illumination of candle light, I saw the lust and the wonder in his eyes as they roamed over my breasts. He bit his full bottom lip and then licked it slowly as if entranced by the sight. “Fucking perfection,” he mumbled before his mouth closed around one of my breasts. I moaned and writhed beneath him. He treated the other breast to the same attention, kneading and sucking as my hips started to move of their own volition.

“Van, please....”

“I got you, Sweetness.”

He stood up, threw his shirt off, and reached for his belt, then the button of his jeans. He pulled them down and kicked them off. My eyes wandered all over his beautiful body. Chest so defined, abs for days, and even more tattoos stretching across his collar. I wanted to trace every ripple and every ink mark with my tongue. I could see the definite bulge in his black boxer briefs, and I bit my lip on a moan.

He didn’t waste any time, and he was soon on top of me kissing me again. Rubbing and sucking all over me. He brushed his index finger just inside the waistband of my pants and rubbed his finger back and forth while his mouth sought mine in a passionate kiss. His finger delved deeper and deeper until he found my core and I moaned as my back arched off the couch as he teased over and over again. I started to gasp extremely loud. It was only a matter of time before I came. He withdrew is finger from me and yanked my pants down and off, throwing them behind him onto the floor. He kissed his way from my breasts down my stomach, kissing and suckling every inch. When his mouth reached his target, and he slipped two fingers inside me, I almost lost it. His mouth felt incredible as he focused on my most sensitive spot. I couldn’t believe I was engaging in these seriously intimate acts with this man I barely knew. But I knew I didn’t want to stop. Couldn’t stop. It was too good and too bad all at the same time.

When I was about to let go, he withdrew and stood to pull his underwear off. He rolled a condom onto his considerable length and paused looking down at me panting beneath him. “You're so fucking perfect. Just amazing.” He bent down to kiss me sweetly on the lips, eyes never leaving mine. “Do you want to do this? We can stop. Just tell me what you want, baby. I'll do whatever you ask.”

“No.” I breathed.

His face looked disappointed as he nodded, smiling a small smile, and started rising off me, not understanding that I meant for him to not stop.

“No, Van. No, don’t stop. I want this. Please... Please,” I begged, my body squirming.

“So sweet,” he whispered as he lowered himself onto me. I closed my eyes. He grabbed my chin gently. “Look at me, Sweetness. I want to see you.” I opened my eyes, my gaze meeting his in the candlelight, watching as he eased into me. We groaned in succession as we moved together. He felt so good. He filled me, and I wanted nothing more than to stay there forever.

“Oh, baby. Fuck. You feel so good.”

“Yeah,” I moaned in agreement and he started moving faster and faster, and I felt the heat rise in my belly as his hand circled my core. I exploded around him as his fingers circled and circled until I couldn’t take it anymore, and I came again just as he pumped into me several more times and spent himself inside me groaning loudly as he came. It was very primal...and very hot. We laid there panting, no sound but the sound of our post coital breathing.

Van kissed me long and hard again, and then he kissed my forehead as he extracted himself from me. “Wow. That was just…”

“Yeah, it was,” I said smiling blissfully, still trying to catch my breath. He bent down to kiss me one more time before grabbing the candle. “I'll be right back. Don’t go anywhere,” he grinned, sated. “Oh, I'm not going anywhere.”

So that’s what good sex was like? Who knew?