Ryker (18 page)

I glared at her, willing her to shut up.

“Oh my God, did you screw her?” She burst out laughing. “You did, didn’t you?” She looked around. “Where is she? I’d love to congratulate her on getting the one she always wanted—even though I kinda had you first.” She smiled and snapped her gum.

“Get away from me,” I said. I turned to see Maddie in front of me again.

Paige looked at her and then back at me. “Good luck with Saint Faith. You’ll need it.”

Maddie placed a beer in front of me. “So, Faith. That’s her name?”

“Yeah.”

Her eyebrow rose. “Ironic, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

Maddie shook her head as if she couldn’t believe I had no clue what she was talking about. “Faith. Maybe that’s what you need to have. A little faith you are meant to be together.”

“Goin’ soft on me, Maddie?”

“Pfft, the day I go soft is the day you stop being a drummer. Just think about it. You’re a good guy. I know you want people to believe you’re an asshole, but you’re not. If you weren’t, your dick would be stuck in that.” She motioned at Paige.

“You’re a fine woman, Maddie.” I popped off my chair and kissed her on the cheek. I tossed a twenty on the bar. “Tell Hank I said hi.”

That night was not going at all the way I had pictured. I wanted to get laid. The streets were dark, and the lights barely illuminated the pavement. My car led me to The Pub. I knew it was a mistake, but the ache in my pants needed Tori or someone like her.

I walked in. It was open mic night again. That crap made me crazy. I was all for new talent being discovered—I mean, we were discovered that way by Northern South Entertainment—but agents and promoters didn’t just come and hang out there. Tori was on stage complimenting the last act. My hope that this thing was over vanished when I heard the next name, no, make that names, being announced.

“Welcome to the stage our first duet! Erik and Faith will be singing ‘Lucky.’”

Everyone clapped and hooted. I heard a familiar whistle and saw Max with Tyf. Were they double dating? I didn’t know the song, but it was about kissing and loving someone.

Tori spotted me and strutted my way. “Hey, handsome, come to see your friends?” Tori took my arm.

I caught Faith’s eyes on us, and her face fell. She turned to Erik and smiled.

“Hey, man, what are ya doin’ here?” Max stood and shook my hand then pulled me into a bro-hug.

“Just drivin’ by, and I thought I’d stop.” I said hi to Tyf and motioned toward the stage. “So Faith and Erik look cozy, huh?”

Tyf gave me a sympathetic look. “Did you want her to keep waiting around for you?”

That took me by surprise. I looked at Faith. She was so beautiful. “No, I guess not.”

Would she eventually sleep with him? Did she want to? I needed to get those thoughts out of my head. No sooner did I think that than Tori came up to me.

“They’re really good together, don’t ya think?” she said.

“Yeah, sure.” No, they weren’t good together. They sounded good together, but there’s a difference. A big difference.

The song ended, and everyone cheered. Erik hopped off the stage, and Faith held up her finger.

She turned and sat at the piano that was there for the bands. “This song is for the women who give everything they have to someone who doesn’t want them.”

Faith’s fingers hit those ivory keys, and my heart stopped beating. Her eyes locked with mine, and she sang a beautiful ballad. She sounded like an angel, pure and everything that I wanted to be.

I didn’t recognize the song right away, but I concentrated on the words, and they pierced my heart. Then it dawned on me, she was singing Christina Perri’s version of “Human”, and she was singing it to me. I had hurt her and pushed her too far. The thought of hurting her brought indescribable pain to my soul. All I could do was stare at her, which I was sure everyone else was doing too. The need to hold her consumed me, but the song said it all. She was telling me she could endure what life threw at her, but she had a breaking point, and she could get hurt. That was what I’d done. She did so much for me, and I broke her. I went too far and pushed her into Erik’s arms.

The song ended, and I glanced around the room. I was right—all eyes had been on Faith. The women gave her a standing ovation, and some of the men were on their feet too. She walked down the stage steps to the table. Her glassy eyes met mine. I had no words.

Max hugged her and so did Tyf. Erik gave her a brief kiss on the lips. I wanted to strangle him, but I didn’t. He was better for her. I knew that, but it bothered the shit out of me.

Everyone sat except for me. My pockets were the safest place for my hands because I wanted to punch Erik and grab Faith. “Great song.”

“Thanks, it’s one of my favorites.” Faith sat next to Erik.

He put his arm on the back of her chair. Suddenly I was the fifth wheel. Normally that wouldn’t bother me, but that night it did. Apparently, open mic night was over because the DJ spun some dance tunes or something. Tyf was practically bouncing in her chair. Max, being the perfect boyfriend, took her hand and led her to the dance floor, leaving me with Erik and Faith.

Erik tapped Faith’s shoulder. “Dance?”

Faith nodded, and they were off.

Well, fuck me. This night sucks.
All of a sudden, Paige’s offer didn’t sound half bad. No way was I going to sit there and watch her dance with Erik. I went to get up and felt a hand on my lower back. I looked over my shoulder.

Tori was behind me. “Where ya headed, handsome?”

“Just thinking about taking off.” I looked at them again. If Erik’s hand went any lower on Faith’s back, I would lose my shit. “Want to dance?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Tori and I stepped on the floor and danced in the corner.

Her hands went into my hair, forcing me to look at her. “So you and Faith, huh?”

My brows lowered. “What do you mean?”

“Babe, the way you look at her and that song she sang? It was for you, wasn’t it?”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter.”

Tori looked at Faith and then back at me. “She seems content. Are you?”

Was I content? No, I was in hell. “Yeah, I guess.”

We rocked back and forth. Her tits were pressed against my chest, and I needed some air.

“Wanna get out of here?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

My hand went to the small of her back, and I guided her out of the bar. I didn’t chance a look at Faith or anyone. We walked out, and I clicked the remote for my car locks.

Tori opened the back door. “I’m working tonight. This is as far as I can go.” She unbuttoned her crisp white shirt.

She placed her hand on my chest, and I realized it wasn’t her hand I wanted there. “I can’t do this, Tor. Maybe you should go back inside. I’m gonna take off.”

“Oh my God, are you kidding me? Again? They all say you’re the greatest.”

That comment hit me like a cinder block to the balls, and I didn’t know why. I was no slouch when it came to notches on my bedpost, but she made me think of Faith. I was the only one Faith had been with, so to her, I was the best. I was all she knew. How could I let that go? Did I need to let that go? Worse yet, did I want to? Fuck no, I didn’t.

“Sorry, Tor, I can’t.”

“Wow, is Ryker Jeffries really off the market?”

“Yeah, I guess maybe I am.”

Her fingers worked at buttoning up her shirt as she turned and walked away from me. She walked back into The Pub as my friends walked out. Their faces said it all. They thought I had been with Tori, and the look on Faith’s face killed me.

I directed my attention to Max. “I’m leaving.”

He nodded. “We’re heading over to the diner for some food. Want to come?”

Tyf chimed in, “I don’t think that’s a great idea, hon.”

Max looked at her and then me. There it was. I’d fucked up and lost people I loved. Always happened. Always would happen.

“I need to get home. I told Mrs. Bowers I’d help her tomorrow. I’ll see ya later.” I walked around the gravel parking lot to the driver’s side door.

Before I could open it, Max was next to me. “Are you okay?”

“Sure.”

Max looked conflicted.

“Look, man, don’t sweat it. Tyf’s your girl, and Faith is your best friend. Go with them and have a great time.”

“You’re my best friend too, ya know.”

I grinned. “Yeah. Your friend who’s the best at screwing up.”

Max looked at Tyf, Faith, and Erik. “Hold on a minute. I’ll be right back.”

I got in my car and sat behind the wheel. I looked at the picture of Jimmy that was on my dash. It was his last school picture, the only one I had of him; my little man. I kept it near my speedometer so only I could see it. “I love you.”

The passenger door opened, and Max got in. “Who do you love?”

“What?”
Shit, did he hear me?

“I heard you say I love you. Who?”

“No one. Why are you in here?” The lights on Max’s car illuminated as Tyf started it and pulled away. “Where’s she going?”

“They’re going back to their place. I’ll meet them later. You can drive me, right?”

“I’m confused. Why are you in my car and not with your girlfriend?” I asked.

“Because right now, you look like you need me more than she does. When someone needs me, I don’t walk away, even if he’s been acting like a lunatic. So let’s go.”

We drove and ended up at my place. I offered Max a beer. He sat on my sofa, and I sat in the chair.

“I need your head in the game, man. We open for Blanco Diablo soon. Are you going to be okay?” he asked.

“My head is in the game. I don’t know what you’re worried about.”

“Tell me. Just say it.”

“Say what?”

“Tell me what it is. Tell me this huge secret that’s making you an ass to your friends. Tell me why you screwed Faith over.” Max took a sip of his beer and waited for my reply.

“What did Faith tell you?” I asked.

“She didn’t. I asked, but she said it wasn’t her secret to tell. All she said was she understood you now. Beats the hell out of me how. I need to tell you something, and if you repeat it, I will beat the shit out of you.”

I laughed. “Okay. What?”

“I think she loves you, man. I mean deeply and truly loves you.”

I leaned my head back. “Don’t want her to.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this crap. What happened at the lake? No one will tell me shit, and I have two of the most stubborn friends ever.”

“I told her something no one knows.”

“And…?”

“And that’s it.” No way was I going to tell him the details of that night.

He frowned. “Hmmm. So you told her a secret, slept with her, walked out, and what? Decided to mess with her head?”

“I’m not messing with her head.” The room was closing in on me. “Max, I put you in a bad spot, and I’m sorry. Faith got hurt, and that kills me.”

“Does it?”

Was he fucking serious? “She’s out with another guy right now. You don’t think that shreds me?”

“You screwed Tori in your car.”

“I didn’t screw her. I told her no.” My hand went to my hair. I was ready to pull it out strand by strand.

“Do you love her?”

My eyes closed, and my head dropped into my hands.

“Got it.”

My head rose. “You got what?”

“You just told me everything I needed to know. Want to drop me off now?”

I grabbed my keys off the table. “Whatever.”

Our apartment was warm and inviting, and Erik seemed comfortable on our sofa as Tyf made coffee. I, on the other hand, paced across our soft carpet until Tyf called me into the kitchen.

My back found the counter, and I leaned against it with a sigh. “Yeah?”

Tyf grabbed a few mugs and turned toward me. “Are you okay?”

Weakness wasn’t one of my traits except when it came to Ryker. “I don’t know. He told me he didn’t want to get involved with me. I pushed and pushed and thought I got through to him, and then he screws Tori tonight.”

The pot beeped, indicating the coffee was ready. She filled the mugs. “Yeah, I’ll say that surprised me as well.” Handing me my mug, she gestured toward the living room. “What about him?”

I looked at Erik fiddling around with his phone. “He’s a great guy, right? I should just hang out with him.”

She grabbed a mug for her and one for Erik. “But he isn’t Ryker.”

I shook my head. “No, he’s not.”

The chair next to the couch looked more inviting than the cushion next to Erik, so I sat there. My hands wrapped around my cup, and I welcomed the warmth.

“This is a great place.” Erik looked around the room, doing his best to make small talk. “Have you lived here long?”

Tyf answered for me. I heard the question, but I was thinking about everything I’d been through the past couple of days. I gave myself to a man I’d wanted for years, started a new job, and was currently on a date. There was a light knock on the door, then it opened and Max walked in. I was relieved he was alone.

“Hey, guys. Sorry I left earlier.” He gave Tyf a kiss before sitting on the arm of her chair.

“You left the door open, Max.” I set my cup on the table and crossed the room to close it.

I came face to face with Ryker, who stood just outside. My hand was on the door and I could have closed it, but instead I just stood there.