Ryker (8 page)

“Never mind, forget I said anything…” He grabbed his beer, held it up, and nodded for me to pick up mine.

I grabbed it out of the makeshift cup holder and raised it.

“To you. Congratulations on graduating,” he said.

I smiled, tapped my bottle against his, and took a long sip. I was starting to love the taste of beer, and it was starting to go to my head. I should slow down. I set the bottle back in the sand and laid back on the blanket.

“Too bad you don’t carry pillows.” I laughed and tried to bunch the blanket under my head.

He laid back and extended his right arm. “Here, you can use my arm.”

I moved my head to his arm and felt his muscle flex. It wasn’t as soft as a pillow, but it was definitely more comfortable. The man confused me, but my head was buzzing from the beer, so it didn’t matter. I looked at the stars and closed my eyes.

“Making a wish?”

Ryker’s voice sounded sexier than it had ten minutes earlier. Maybe it was the alcohol; maybe it was just him.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I just like all the wonders that are out there,” I said, my eyes still closed.

“Wonders? What are you wondering about?”

A cool breeze rushed over us, making me rub my arms. “Not me, them—the stars. Don’t you wonder what they’ve seen? I mean, they’re above everything, so they must see it all.”

He shifted uncomfortably.

I turned toward him. “I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”

His eyes seemed darker all of a sudden. “No. I’ve just never thought about it that way.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”
Oh my God! Why did I ask that?

“Nope. I’m good. Nothing to talk about.” He remained stoic and looked back at the sky.

I felt let down, and I didn’t really know why. Hell, I knew he wouldn’t confide in me. I just wished I knew what was going on with him. “Okay, you just looked like you had something to say.” I mentally slapped myself for my continued verbal spewing.

He moved his arm, making my head fall back onto the blanket. I thought he would get up, but he rolled over to hover above me as if he was going to do a push up. I just stared at him. Not knowing what to do and, quite frankly, a little timid, I didn’t move.

“So was Paige at your party tonight? I was hoping to see her.” He raised his eyebrows.

I shoved him away and stood. He didn’t deserve a reply. I walked toward the water and prayed that my eyes wouldn’t shed any tears over him and his assholeness. I heard laughter and saw Tyf and Max walking toward me, hand in hand.

“Hey there.” Max looked at me and then back to where I’d left Ryker. “What’s going on? You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. How’re you guys doing?”

Tyf smiled, and Max said, “We’re great. We were going to go sit on the dunes for a while and watch the moon, but if you want to leave, then we can go.”

The waves crashed against the shore, reminding me to roll with life’s moments whether they were good or bad. Spoiling their night because Ryker had spoiled mine wasn’t an option. “Go ahead. I’m just going to sit here and watch the water for a while.”

Max kissed my forehead. “We won’t be long, okay? If you want to leave, just text me or Tyf.”

I watched them walk away, and I heard Max say hi to Ryker. I walked over to a large rock and sat on it, just listening to the tide roll in. The sound of the water, and the beer were making me sleepy. Dealing with Ryker was exhausting too. I decided to get up and put my feet in the cool water in hopes it would wake me up. My shoes flew a foot in front of me as I kicked them off. My feet hit the water, and the shock of the temperature startled me. I hadn’t thought it would be bath water, but damn, it was downright cold. I hopped back and tripped on something, making me fall to the sand. I was amused until a hand gripped my arm.

“Why are you going in the water alone? You should never do that!” Ryker sounded pissed.

I ripped my arm out of his grasp and stood. I looked at him as though he was nuts. “What is your deal? I stepped on something and fell. I wasn’t going to drown or anything. Geez, Ryker, chill out.” I looked down and saw some driftwood. That must have been what I’d stumbled on.

“Sorry for giving a shit,” he snapped. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Friends by association and all. I’m sure Max wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

I hated when people threw my words back at me. “Yeah, association. Oh, and to answer your question, Paige wasn’t at my party. I rescinded her invite. I just wanted my family and friends here to celebrate with me.”

“Of course. Well, I’m getting out of here. Do you want a ride, or do you want to go with Max and Tyf?”

Of all the times to ask me… I’d always wanted to be the girl in his car, but I had to say no. “I’ll go with Max. Thanks, anyway.”

“No sweat. See ya, Dude.”

I closed my eyes, and my head spun a little. I opened them and saw him collecting the blanket and beer bottles.

I walked over and grabbed mine out of the sand. “Hey, Ryker?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t call me Dude.” I finished my beer and walked back to the rock to get my shoes. I texted Max that I was ready to leave. I’d had enough of this confusing night. No, I still had more to say. “Hey!”

Ryker just looked at me and said nothing.

My hands landed on his chest, and I pushed him hard enough to make him stagger. “What the hell is with you? Do you try to ruin all of my celebrations, or does it just come naturally?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Let’s see, we can start with my twenty-first birthday. You practically screwed my friend in the hallway and then told me how she’d pleasured you. Oh, and you told me you didn’t want me. So happy birthday to me.” I threw my hands in the air. “Now at my graduation party, you show up and make me think that maybe I got through to you and we could be civil, and what do you do? You bring up another woman! Seriously, Ryker? What the fuck? Is your goal to hurt me?”

His head fell back, and he looked at the sky. With clenched fists and a soft voice, he said, “No, I didn’t mean to.”

Ryker had tried to sound apologetic, but I wasn’t buying it. To say that I was about to explode would be an understatement. “You didn’t mean to? Are you kidding me? You know what, why do I bother?”

I turned to leave, and he grabbed my elbow. He spun me around, and his lips crashed on mine. His hands threaded in my hair, and I closed my eyes. I was lost, absolutely and totally lost in his kiss. I’d dreamt of that kiss for years. I moved my lips to touch his, and I savored every second. I felt his tongue, and the piercing made my insides flutter. My hands went to his strong back. He pulled back, and I immediately missed him. I slowly opened my eyes and stared into his.

We didn’t speak. We didn’t move. The air was calm. We just stood there. My heart raced so hard that it was the only thing that made me aware the kiss hadn’t been a dream. It was quiet except for the sounds of the waves. He put his hand on the side of my face, then the back of my neck. He pulled me into a hug. I tightened my arms around him and felt his excitement press against me. I didn’t want the moment to end.

“What’s going on?”

Ryker and I moved away from each other as if we were on fire and afraid of getting burned. I didn’t know why he did that, but I felt uncomfortable and out of place.

Tyf jumped in. “Max, it isn’t any of our business.”

I wanted to say something, but Ryker took charge. I stood there, ready to hear him tell Max something romantic and, more importantly, truthful. My lips curled into a broad smile in anticipation of finally hearing him say something positive about us. Oh my God, could we be an “us”? I tried not to fidget, but it wasn’t easy. My arms swung behind me and rested on the small of my back as I crossed my fingers. He opened his mouth, and I stared at it, willing the right words to come out.
Come on, Ryker, you can do it
. The anticipation was killing me.

“Just giving Dude a congratulatory hug. No big deal.”

Of course that’s what he’d say. My heart plummeted, my fingers uncrossed, and I felt my smile vanish. No big deal? Just a hug?

Tyf gasped. My eyes went to hers, and she looked hurt for me. I could tell she didn’t believe him. Her sympathetic look hit me hard. I didn’t want sympathy, even if it was from a friend.

To hell with that. Always coming out on top, that’s what he did. Made me look like a fool.

I could only imagine my expression before and after his blatant lie.
Jackass.
“Yeah, Max, don’t worry about it. Are you ready to go?”

Max looked at me and then Ryker and back at me. He looked like he was at a tennis match. “Yeah, you said you were ready, so here we are.”

“Okay, let’s leave.” I looked at Ryker and didn’t say a word. I turned and walked away.

That kiss. Why did I have to kiss her? Watching her leave ripped me apart, and just like that, I was alone. If she tells them what happened, they most certainly won’t be happy. Max said he’s cool with us being together, but he hates when I treat her like shit. That was one of those moments where if it came down to it, he’d pick Faith over me, and I could understand that. She was everything that I wasn’t: open, honest, and pure. I sat on the beach and looked at the sky. I thought about what Faith had said about the stars seeing everything that happens. To her that was wondrous; to me that was terrifying.

With my bottles and blanket in hand, I made my way across the sandy ground to my car. All I could think about was Faith’s lips on mine; she was all I could taste. I wanted to ravage her and make her mine, but that wasn’t going to happen. I needed to stop thinking about it.

The ache in my pants matched the one in my heart. I needed to do something about it. Time to call a stamp. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through names, trying to find a girl who was all hook up and no commitment. Unfortunately, her number, along with a few others, went straight to voice mail. Maybe I needed to find someone new. I decided to head to a bar.

The local spot should do it. My reputation preceded me, and the women generally flocked to me like vultures to a slab of meat. As I crossed the beer stained floor, I noticed a beautiful girl sitting at the end of the bar near the popcorn machine. I strolled over and filled a basket with the buttery snack, then sat on the stool next to her. I placed the basket between us and ordered a beer. My eyes traveled from her chest to her face. She had beautiful blue eyes, smallish tits, but very pretty. She turned and gave me that look, the “you’re hot, what are you doing later”
look.

“You here alone tonight?” I asked.

“Now I am. My friend was here, but she left with someone.” She shrugged and sipped her glass of red wine.

“Can I buy you a drink?” I instantly regretted that line. I wasn’t in the mood to work at getting someone on their back, so I changed tactics—probably not my best decision. “Want to leave and go fuck?”

The beer that had just been placed in front of me covered me. After she stormed out, the bartender smirked and handed me a towel. I wiped off my face and then ran the towel over my hair to the back of my head. I felt a hand on mine, and I turned to see an older woman. She wasn’t too old, probably in her late thirties or early forties. She had that all-knowing look in her eyes.

“You’re the drummer aren’t you?”

“Yeah. You know our band?” Maybe she wasn’t older.

“I was at The Ruins
the other night and saw you. You guys are really good.” Her eyes ran up and down my beer-soaked body as she traced her lips with her tongue. “Wanna get out of here?”

Did I? All of a sudden I didn’t. “I think I’m going to go home and dry off.”

She shrugged. “Okay. Maybe another time?”

“Yeah, maybe.” That was what I said, but I meant no.

I tossed a twenty on the bar and told the bartender her next drink was on me. The guy deserved a tip since his bar was a mess because of my big mouth. I walked out, got in my car, and drove home.

As I parked, I looked at the old house. I didn’t want to go in. I hated that I only had a small basement apartment, but I supposed it was better than some of the foster homes I’d lived in. I needed to strip out of these wet, sticky clothes and get a shower, so I went in. I tossed my phone on my nightstand and hopped in the shower.

As the water ran down my body, all I saw was Faith. I hated that she cared so much. No, scratch that. I loved that she cared so much, I just couldn’t handle it, and again I let her down. I grabbed the soap and ran it all over me. I wished I could clean away all the bad, but I couldn’t. I contemplated jerking off, but instead I turned the handle to cold and let it beat me until my skin was numb. When I was done punishing myself, I grabbed a towel and dried off. My bed was calling me.

My eyes closed, and our kiss appeared. Faith had tasted so good, not like anyone I’d ever had before. Her moan made me hard as a rock. I looked at my phone and grabbed it. I scrolled through my contacts until I got to her name.

Me
:
I’m sorry.

I needed to add one more word.

Me:
Again
.

I waited for her reply. It seemed as if it took forever, although it was only about two minutes.