Secrets of the Fall (4 page)

Chapter
5

Drew

I
wanted to get Summer away from Donovan
Dynamics as soon as the mission was accomplished. By “the mission” I meant the
first meeting with the team in charge of Operations Rescue Family. It was
close, having Summer at the headquarters all night long, while Tim and the team
worked, securing a “Special Forces” team to rescue Nat and Dad.

It
was a good thing everyone on that team have had specialized training and a
background as ex-military, ex-CIA, and even ex-FBI. To tell you the truth, I
was intimidated standing in the same room with some of these lethal and
highly-trained, but seemingly harmless-looking Donovan Dynamics employees. But
I had to keep up appearances, play a role, and act like I was taking charge,
rather than following orders.

All
for the sake of Summer.

That’s
why when she walked into the room, the Team was surprised to see her, shooting
questioning looks at me that asked, “Why the hell did you bring her here,
Donovan?”

I
knew I should have just brought her here for a very short time just to say “hi”
to everyone who worked on helping her with the cyber-bullying case before, but
the entire finding another Special Forces team to rescue Nat and Dad seemed
necessary to help Summer get through the day, to help her fight this grief of
missing Nat.

While
Summer slept on the sofa, I slipped out of the room and out into the balcony. It
was afternoon, not evening as it seemed, but we had just worked through the
night without sleeping so was now facing the day. I touched a speed-dial
button, and it connected me to a center.

“Input
password,” the voice said.

I
inputted a password and then heard another voice. Deep, authoritative, and
confident…the voice that ran Donovan Dynamics.

“Drew,
son, I know why you concocted this plan with the second Special Forces team.
It’s a grand scheme, and I applaud you for thinking of it, but it is not in the
plans. I know you want to protect her. I know you are willing to do anything to
make her happy, but masking the operations with something like this will only
jeopardize the true mission. Your brother and I had made this promise to Sookie
before she died, and we intend to follow it through. If you continue with this
scheme, with the intent to protect her, it would only hurt her more later. Nat
is devastated by the possibility, but he’s now accepted this is the way it must
be. He would always love her, but Drew, this is the way it must be. Tell her
now. Or let the team tell her. But it must be done quickly and swiftly while
she has you to hold her together. Do it now, son, or the team will do it for
you, and it will be harsher. In the next few days, our group will be heading
into the heart of the operations. It is dangerous, but this is where we are
now. Why we are truly here. Summer would be proud if she knew, which she would
one day. But for now…follow the plan.”

I
wanted to scream into the voice message how unfair and wrong it was to carry
out what they wanted me to do. It wasn’t as simple as that, especially if they
could have seen how bad off Summer was after hearing about Nat missing. How she
was so devastated she was going to take her own life. That was not like Summer.
She must’ve hit bottom to even contemplate it, and I would do anything to keep
her alive. Even lie.

I
dialed into another number and spoke into my phone. “Thy will will be done, as
it is in heaven and earth.” Then I hung up. I spoke in code, using biblical
references. No one could decipher it except those in the know. Somehow we were
fortunate enough to still be able to reach and hear from Dad, through a special
voicemail system Donovan Dynamics had set up so phone calls and voicemails
could not be detected.

I
walked back into the spacious and luxurious Presidential suite and laid down
next to Summer on the sofa. I wanted to lift her up to carry her to the bed so
she could sleep comfortably on there, but I didn’t want to wake her. She was
still in the same dress she wore when I first picked her up at the Pad to drive
her up to San Francisco. A very feminine white cotton sundress with crochet
lace. It was nicely fitted around the bodice to accentuate her tiny waist, flat
stomach, and perky large breasts. It was the kind of dress that made guys like
me want to tear it apart, want to be the hero, and want to be the gentleman to
her lady. It was the kind of dress I loved seeing Summer wear because it
brought out the tender loving side of me, the vulnerable side, and the side
that just wanted to hold her, kiss her, and love her like a lady.

I
watched her sleep peacefully against me, her breath gentle, soft, and warm near
me, and her eyelids closed innocently like a baby’s. I reached out to touch her
soft long chestnut hair, bringing it to my nose as I smelled her
jasmine-scented hair. She was so pretty I could stare at her the entire day.
Just sit here and stare. I didn’t need anything else from her. Just her
presence made me feel good for being here. She made me feel good, like I was
and could be a better man.

I
wanted to punch the sky, but couldn’t not with Summer on top of my chest. She
won’t think I’m a good person or have any potential to be good when she finds
out about Nat and I.

Dad’s
message to me kept me from sleeping peacefully. I tossed and turned, trying to
go to sleep, thinking what I had to do.  By the time I finally fell asleep, it
was dark. I was exhausted from the guilt, not so much from all the driving and
the meeting. Physically, I could handle a lot. I had a lot of energy, which was
why my sex drive was high, too. Why I went through girls like water when I was
still in high school, before seeing Summer again. She was the reason why I
became celibate. I haven’t had sex with a girl since I told her I loved her and
wanted to be with her. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone
else but her. To me, that was commitment. I gave up everyone else for her, for
the possibility to be with her. It may not seem that noble, but for someone who
was a commitment phobe, mainly because I didn’t want to be in a cheating
relationship like the one my dad had with my mother, it was major. Now that
bond between us was going to be tested.

Like
I said, I finally fell into a deep sleep and began dreaming all kinds of
dreams. I dreamt about moving to Malibu, moving into the Pad instead of the
apartment I got to avoid seeing Summer with Nat. Then I dreamt of seeing Nat
with Summer that one time I saw her in the showers, and afterwards seeing Nat
raise her bra to lick her gorgeous tits. I was jealous seeing him with her, but
at the same time, it was turning me on. I wanted to be the one licking her
tits. I wanted to be the one sliding her black lace panties down her leg while
I got down on my knees to lick her core. I shuddered, feeling how I hard I’ve
gotten just dreaming of me being with Summer.

But
I couldn’t stop. I was far down in my dreams, feeling harder and harder as I
dreamt what could have happen if I had walked into the shower when Summer was
showering, grabbed Summer from behind, and unapologetically pounded into her
thrust after thrust with a few hip curls to get the most friction in her. It
felt so good, holding her waist while she leaned against the shower walls, with
me thrusting into her, with her moaning as I reach up and grabbed her breasts
with both hands and teased her nipples to perfect peakness. I felt my hips sway
and pound into her, my growls of pleasure mixed in with her moaning.

I
kept thrusting until I exploded, and she climaxed. Sated, but not for long. She
wanted more, and as I begin to touch her below to enter her again, she straddled
me and took me deep within her. She took control of me, rode me until I was
groaning. “Oh Summer,” I groaned, “Fuck, you’re good.” I grabbed her butt and
pressed her closer to me, while her breasts jutted out in front of my face.
They were just the right height for me to latch onto one nipple, swirl my
tongue on it for a bit until she was moaning.

“Oh
Drew,” Summer said. “I know we shouldn’t, but this feels so good. And. I.
Can’t. Stop.” She shifted her hips on me, while she rode me harder and faster.
I was about to burst when something made me open my eyes from sleep.

My
phone was ringing loud enough to wake Summer and I, but Summer was up already.
And the sight she presented me when I opened my eyes was so beautiful, she
could have given me a heart attack from shock. She was straddling me with her
dress on…and moving back and forth on me, rubbing her naked wet core on my very
hard hard-on. Not quite penetrating, but so close. As were her eyes…closed.

As
though she was still sleeping and acting out her dream. Oh God, it was hot,
especially since she had no inhibitions and if she could, she probably would be
fucking my brains out with the speed and passion she was riding me.

She
was a wild woman, moaning as she went up and down on me, her long hair flying
everywhere. I was fully awake now, and enjoying Summer’s sleepwalking so much I
was reluctant to wake her up. It felt so good, I really wanted to enter her,
but couldn’t. This was strange for me…but I knew I had to stop her. Only I
wanted to keep this going to help her build her sexual confidence.

Being
the gentleman that I was, I let her continue using my body for her pleasure. It
wouldn’t be fair to stop her right when she was needing me, or rather, my body
the most.

I
was relaxing, enjoying Summer take over and exert her sensuality over me. I
loved it, and if she knew what she was doing, she would love it, too. Only
thing was…did she know what she was doing?

“Summer…”
I said softly. I had to wake her up now.

Her
eyes were still closed, and she had bent down to start licking my chest and
abs, lifting my shirt up so it was out of the way. But this felt so good…

“Summer,”
I reluctantly whispered.

“Oh,
what?” she said in between kissing me and then taking my nipples into her
mouth.

“It’s
time to wake up.”

“Oh,
silly, I am up,” she giggled. She continued kissing down my torso then
unbuttoned my jeans, unzipping it, and reaching into my underwear where her
fingers began massaging me below. “Now, let’s see how you taste, Nat,” she
said.

“Nat?”
I yelled out of disappointment. Was she dreaming of doing all of this with Nat
still? 

My
yell was loud enough to wake her up, startling her.

“What?
What happened? Who yelled?” Summer asked, opening her eyes and blinking.

“It’s
okay,” I said, touching her face gently. “You were just dreaming, and started
to act out your dreams so I woke you up.”

Summer
blinked, completely oblivious to her dreams. “What kind of dreams was I
having?”

“The
same kind I was,” I said raising my eyebrows.

Summer
blushed. It was adorable how she could still feel so self-conscious about her
sensuality with me, especially after all we’ve done. “Oh my goodness,” she
said. “What did I do?”

“You,
um, kinda rode me, Summer,” I said, smiling. “Not that I minded, but it was
pretty intense, good, but intense where I didn’t think you were sleep sexing.”

“What?”
Summer asked. “Sleep sexing…oh no, I don’t even want to know what that means.”

“It
means what it sounds…you were acting out your sexual fantasies where
sleeping…not that I mind.”

Summer
looked down and saw how she was sitting on top of me, straddling me, still with
my jeans unbuttoned. “I am so embarrassed, Drew.”

“Don’t
be,” I said. “I highly enjoyed it. No complaints here.”

“What
did I do,” Summer asked.

“You
were riding me and almost went down on me, but no, we didn’t go all the way. I
wouldn’t let you if I knew it.”

Summer
blushed and looked down. “Oh Drew, this is so embarrassing. Why would I be
doing that when I made you promise not to try anything?”

“I
didn’t try anything, Summer,” I said with a smile. “You did.” I took her hands
in mine. “It was because deep down inside, you still want to.”

Summer
nodded. “I can’t help myself, Drew. I do.”

Chapter
6

Summer

A
fter eating, showering separately, and getting
ready to check out of the Four Seasons, we headed back to Drew’s car.

“Where
are we headed today?” I asked Drew, trying to act cheerful, despite knowing Nat
was still missing. My heart didn’t feel like lead though, as it did a few days
ago. Nat was alive and still out there in dangerous territories. We had to get
him back home safe as fast as possible. Like Drew, I was determined, even if I
have to fly to wherever Nat was to help.

“We’re
going to drop by my parents’ house to see how Mom’s doing.”

I
didn’t want to bring up how treatments were since Drew may be sensitive to it,
knowing he might have inherited some of that mental disorder as his mother. Nat
had warned me about it, but then he said he and Rachel could have inherited
that mental disorder from their mother as well. The Donovan siblings all had
that likelihood. Nat told me to keep an eye out on Drew and Rachel, as well as
his mother.

As
if he could read my mind, Drew said, “Since Nat left, I hired a live-in nurse
to take care of Mom.”

“That
makes sense,” I said. “Rachel’s the only one living at the house at this point.
Well, not really since she had gotten her school to accept internship hours for
her working at Aunt Sookie’s Acting Academy.”

Drew
visibly clenched his jaw. “Don’t remind me that she moved to LA, and instead of
staying with you at the Pad, she moved into live with Ryan, who is now living
in his own apartment near East Los Angeles College. If my father and Nat were
around, they would help me talk some sense into her, forbid her from seeing
Ryan or at least moving in with the guy. Hell, she’s my twin and the same age
as me, but she sure seemed a lot younger.”

“Rach
is just rebelling again, like she did when she found out about your parents’
divorce. Instead of living with your mother, she moved all the way to LA to
finish her high school year with an internship teaching at Aunt Sookie’s. I
personally think Rach was smart for deciding that was what she wanted to pursue
after high school. Like you and I, she wasted no time in pursuing her dreams.
You went to USC earlier, and so did I. We can’t blame Rach for wanting the same
thing. Plus, as much as you and Rach love your mother, she needed someone with
specialized training to help care for her. You can’t put your lives on hold for
her. Nat did in a way…” I thought about how he used that excuse to not allow
himself to love me and to be with me, that he had too much family obligations
to be in a romantic relationship with me for the longest time until he finally
broke down and went for me.

Drew
looked guilty then and licked his lips. “Nat sacrificed a lot for the sake of
family,” he said. “He was  an incredible person and unbelievably amazing older
brother.”

I
stared at Drew for a good second before I realized he said talking about Nat as
though he was really gone. Where was the hope? Where was that enthusiastic
drive to find Nat and bring him home alive?

“Drew…you’re
scaring me. Why are you talking about Nat that way?”

“Like
what?” Drew asked.

“Like
Nat was really gone,” I said getting frustrated and even angry. “How could you
refer to him like that, as though he was your brother. He would always be. What
happened between now and yesterday when you were taking charge of organizing
Donovan Dynamics’ Operations Rescue team? We have a new Special Forces team
sent out to find Nat and Mr. Donovan, find them and bring them home. That’s
something…”

Drew
looked up into the sky and down again. He said, “Sorry, I was just tired.
Didn’t think about what or how I was saying things. Of course he would always
be my big bro. Don’t worry Summer, I’ll take care of you and be there for you
especially with Nat away…”

I
took a deep breath and let out my frustration in one big breath. It was some
yoga move Aunt Sookie had taught me years ago to help de-stress myself. I had
started secretly or rather discreetly practicing yoga again in the mornings to
help me deal with all of this…Nat, the stalker, the Academy, college, and Drew.
Otherwise, I would be far worse than I could imagine.

I
could also imagine what Drew was going through, having to take on all the
responsibilities of Nat’s, while still being expected to handle college, his
football scholarship, his mother, Rachel, and me. I’ve been so selfish in my
grief lately, not even realizing how all of this was affecting Drew or Rachel.

“It’s
okay, Drew,” I said reaching out my hand to touch his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I know you’re tired and under a lot of
stress, too. We will find Nat. We will get him home. I don’t really know the
details of the top secret mission he and your father was on, but I have hope.”
I reached out and hugged him tight, patting his back as I did so, in a
supportive calming matter.

Drew
sank into the hug, and reciprocated by holding me as tight against him as
possible. I could feel his hard body pressed without an inch of space between
us. “Oh, Summer,” Drew let out a deep breath. “If you only knew how hard this
is for me…”

“I
know Drew,” I said. “I’m going through the same thing. I know.” I looked up
into his face, my nose touching his, and my eyes looking deep into his. “You
don’t have to go through this alone. Just like I don’t have to bear the burden
of everything I have to deal with…with Aunt Sookie and now this. We have each
other,” I said looking so deep and earnestly into Drew’s beautiful deep blue
eyes. Our lips were so close, our face so close. I just wanted to give into the
urge of kissing him, to help wipe out that hurt I saw through to the core of
him.

I
kissed his nose softly, playfully. “I see through you, Drew,” I said. “You
don’t have to act big and strong around me. I know what you’re going through
too.”

Drew
inhaled deeply and then said through clenched teeth and a ragged breath, “No
you don’t, Summer.”

I
was stunned momentarily. Drew’s never disagreed with me before. The one time I
comforted him when he was going through his parents’ divorce and his mother’s
attempted suicide, I was able to get through to him. We became closer from that
experience. “No Drew, I do understand. You’re trying to put a brave foot forward,
to take the place of your dad and Nat for your family and for the company, but
at the same time, you don’t know if you will see them again, you don’t know if
your mother will get better or snap, you don’t know if you could continue
playing football when that really wasn’t your passion to begin with, but your
father’s dream for you.” I pulled his head to me until he and I were cheek to
cheek. It’s a gesture I did with him once when we were kids about seven or
eight years old when we wanted to tell each other a secret.

“I’ll
tell you a secret, Drew,” I said. “I’m scared too, but not so much anymore. I
think when everything piled up all at once into a great big snowball, that was
when it got to be too much for me to handle. I swear to God, Drew, when you found
me in my bathtub, I must have hit bottom, lost my ground, fell, and kept
falling, as though there was a black hole as big as the pit of nothingness.  I
wanted to go crawl into that hole to disappear, to escape the pain, but then I
heard and saw you.  I felt your love and your warmth.  You did everything to
made me feel you, even if you had to arouse me to get me there. But I did get
pulled back from that pit. My body responded to your touch and to you, Drew. As
yours respond to mine. Somehow or another we are connected, and even if we try
to ignore it, we can’t.”

“Summer,”
Drew looked pained. “There’s something I need to tell you, but first we have to
go to see my mother.  I have to see how she’s doing. Then afterwards, I need to
talk to you. Just remembered what you’ve just told me. How you are able to
escape that bottomless pit of pain by connecting with someone by being there
for someone else.  Because I have a feeling we both will need it when I tell
you the news.”

Immediately
I felt a panic begin to rise within me, first from the pit of my stomach  and
on up through my chest and to my throat. 
The news?
What did Drew mean
by that?  How could there be such a dramatic news so early in the morning? What
was going on?

“Drew,
as much as I like surprises, I have a feeling I’ll hate this one. Now I’m
scared.”

Drew
pulled me into his arms and began rubbing my back, “No matter what, Summer,
I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall far. I’ve got you even if there is going to
be something that you don’t want to hear.”

I
felt tears beginning to form in my eyes. I hate feeling so weak and vulnerable.
When did I get to become such an emotional basket case? When did I let myself
break down like this?

“You’re
only human, Summer,” Drew said. “We’re only human. You’re affected by good
news, bad news, sad news, anything just like everyone else. It’s what makes us
sympathetic to others. It’s what make us capable of telling what’s right from
wrong. There is no shame in being scared or worried. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t
have said anything.”  Drew turned away from me and hunkered down as though he
was winded after running a few miles.

“Drew?
What’s the matter?” Now it was my turn to be concerned again.

Drew
stood up straight and said, “Come on…let’s get this over with.”

I
felt like my face was slapped. What’s gotten into Drew to blow hot and cold
like that? Was he displaying some kind of behavior related to his mother’s
mental illness?

“Drew,”
I asked calmly. “Are you alright?”

“I’m
fine, Summer,” he said, almost a little annoyed. He opened the door to the car,
helped me in, and then buckled me in place. He was no-nonsense, serious even,
as though his mind was elsewhere when he buckled me in, even without any
emotions. Usually, he would linger when his fingers brush across my thighs, and
I could see the pupils of his eyes dilate in excitement. But as he accidentally
touched me, it was as though he had shut off all his emotions and was being a
robot.

“Okay,”
I said, as Drew got into the driver’s side, buckled up, and started the car.
His face was grim as stepped hard on the gas pedal, careening us out of the
parking lot and onto the highway. He was going faster than usual, as though he
was taking his frustration out on the road. When we got to almost 90 miles per
hour, driving pass every car on the highway, I said, “Slow down, Drew, we’re
not in a hurry.”

“But
we are,” he said. “The sooner we get this over with, the better, then I could
deal with the guilt.”

I
blinked. “The guilt? What are you talking about, Drew? There is nothing for you
to feel guilty about. It’s not your fault something happened to Nat and your
father.”

“No,
it’s not that,” Drew said.”It’s worse. It’s much worse. But I can’t tell you
until I show you something.”

“You
can’t tell me anything right now?” I said, crossing my arms.

“No,
Summer, I can’t,” Drew said, setting his jaw.

“Okay,”
I said, feeling like a broken record with Drew.

Because
of some miracle where there was hardly any traffic on our way from the Four
Seasons to the Donovan mansion, we arrived in less than a half hour. The drive
up the scenic hill would have been beautiful had it not been for how fast Drew
was driving, making sharp turns, sudden stops, and fast jumpy spurts. By the
time he pulled into the pavestone driveway, past the heavy iron gates to the
garage, I was fuming.

He
opened his door and got out, and was walking to my side of the car to open the
door when I pushed it opened, got out and walked past him to the back seat to
get my luggage. I didn’t even want to make eye contact with him, I was so mad.
How dare he tell me he had such ominous bad news, withheld it from me for a
long time, making me suffer through intense worry and dread all that time, just
to drive like a maniac to endanger our lives, and not even say a single thing
the entire way over.  How dare he ignore me the entire way over right after I
spilled everything to him, right after I pushed aside my own worries to comfort
him.

How
dare…

Drew
took the luggage from my hands, dropped it down on the garage floor, closed the
car door, and pushed me hard against it. Without a word, he grabbed my hair
pulling it back while his mouth crushed into mine with a fury that melted me. I
was burning just as much for him, as we passionately kissed each other, running
our hands over each other, moaning and groaning our wants and needs.

His
blue eyes pinned me down while he devoured my lips hungrily, my neck, and then
my collarbone. He bit me on fleshy part of my shoulders, and I felt a slight
pain, but mostly pleasure as he licked it again, moaning. “Oh, Summer, last
night was pure torture…you and your rules of not kissing or touching you.” He
probed his tongue into my mouth to taste my mouth, sending shudders of pleasure
through me. He pressed his hips between my thighs, and I could feel how much he
wanted me.

“You
know,” Drew whispered huskily against my cheeks as he pressed his hips harder
against my hips. He took the corner of my mouth into his and sucked on it,
making my lower body burn for him. “Rules get me more turned on, because
they’re meant to be broken. That’s what I want from you. I want to break all
your rules.” His eyes burned into mine for a second before he released my
mouth.  He pushed my head back on the car until I was staring up into his face,
his eyes still intensely on mine. “When you have no more rules in your rule
book to break, Summer Jones, you will be mine.”

His
fingers came up to cup my chin to move my face to face his. He stuck a couple
of his fingers into my mouth while his hips swayed and grinded against me. The
pressure of him up against me, his hardness separated merely by a few pieces of
cloth between us, sent a flame of lust clear through me and I bit down on his
fingers in my mouth.