Silent Scars (Surviving #4) (26 page)

She was heaven.

She was mine.

It had been so long since I had properly tasted a woman’s lips, so long in fact I was a boy and she was a girl. It had been an age since my lips were last against the delicate softness of a female mouth. I tried to give it some finesse. She deserved something special, but when her eager hands clawed and gripped at me, pulling me closer, and those long as fuck legs wrapped around me, securing her to me, I was lost. I devoured her, taking what she gave. I was a starving man, and she was my nourishment. If this turned out to be some kind of illusion or dream, I never wanted to wake up. I could reside in this moment for eternity.

Her teeth nipped at my bottom lip followed by a swipe of her tongue. Growling, I tangled my tongue with her, sipping from her elixir, drugged from the taste of her. I slid my hands up her arms, over her shoulders, and cupped her face. She felt so delicate in my massive paws. The beast devouring the beauty.

What a sobering thought. I pulled away slowly, taking my last taste of her before I had to give it up. She followed. Not allowing me to retreat. She clung to my neck, and like a magnet, I followed. I slid my hands over hers and tried to pry them from around my neck.

“Aloura.”

“I’m a patient woman, Ryan, but for once get out of your head and bloody kiss me.” Pressure at the back of my head brought our lips back together. “Stay with me,” she whispered against my mouth.

Who could resist such beautiful temptation? It would be a much better man than I was. So I slid my hands into her black silky hair and plundered her mouth, those ruby lips that starred in many of my fantasies. Slowly, I removed one hand and gently let my fingertips dance across her skin, down her cheek, over the delicate line of her jaw, and down the column of her neck to my favourite spot. The hollow of her neck. I pressed my thumb against it, wrapping my fingers around the delicate curve. Her pulse beat wildly against my palm. I pulled away from her mouth to glance down at my hand. She lifted her chin, arching for me. My olive skin against her creamy paleness was such a contrast but so perfect. I brushed my thumb over
my
hollow.

“I love this. When you’re excited, it throbs wildly,” I uttered in a daze.

“It’s not the only thing that throbs,” she gasped as I placed a little more pressure around her neck.

My attention snapped to melted chocolate staring back at me. “Did you –”

“My knickers are wetter than Niagara Falls, and that is all your fault.” She giggled, covering her mouth.

I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth to stifle the laughter. No one laughed during sex. Did they?

“I don’t have any condoms.”

“Me either.” She huffed, going lax against me and laying over the table. She looked ethereal lying before me. Her raven hair fanned out beneath her, bright ruby lips swollen from my kisses. A sly grin covered her lips, and her eyes twinkled with mischief. “I have two hands and a mouth. But tomorrow we shop.” She determined with a swift nod.

My jaw slackened, and I could only gawk and cough out choked laughter. “It’s all an act,” I uttered, stroking my finger from my hollow down her chest, loving the rapid rise and fall. I paused at the hem of her cami.

“What is?” She breathed. My eyes were transfixed on the tight points of her nipples beneath silk.

“You’re not innocent at all. You’re some kind of pornographic Snow White.”

She guffawed, arching her body with laughter, allowing my finger to slip beneath the fabric.

“Difference is, I don’t need seven men to satisfy me. Only you,” she whispered so seductively she stole my breath. Her legs tightened around me, pulling our bodies so close I could feel the heat of her pussy through my jeans.

“You have a naughty side, Miss Cavendish.”

“Only for you, Mr Senior.”

I groaned, my dick throbbing against her heat, and slammed my mouth to hers. I was being a complete caveman with her. I knew it, and I wanted to stop. But she clawed at something primal inside, and I couldn’t suppress it.

I craved her.

Releasing her mouth, I licked and nipped my way down her neck, sucking at the wildly beating pulse point. Her skin peppered with goose bumps as my mouth drifted over her body. I scraped my teeth against fresh creamy skin. Her pleasured gasp had my cock throbbing to be released. Her nails bit into my shoulders, and God help me if that wasn’t sexy. I was on fire for this woman. She was burning my soul with her heat.

Watching her muscles twitch under my touch and the hollow at the base of her throat dip and pulse, I flicked my tongue out, tasting her salty warm skin.

“Mine,” I growled, taking another sip. She released the most erotic moan and conscious thoughts evaded me. I wrapped my fingers under the shoe-string straps of her silk cami and pulled them away from her arms and trapped them against the table beneath her, so the fabric was tight and the hem on her top dug into the skin across her chest. She had to release the hold on my neck and laid her hands on the table. I licked at my hollow one more time before nipping her chin.

“I need those dusky pink nipples.”

She huffed out a breath and closed her eyes. “You take your time. I’m in no rush.” Her words ended on a moan as I thrust my hips into her. My body covered her, my hands pinning her to the table by the fabric of her top.

“Still sassy. That mouth is trouble.”

“Well, fill it. Silence me,” she breathed. Her body quivered beneath mine, and I sensed she was desperate for release.

I slid two fingers into her mouth and clamped my teeth down on the beating pulse at the base of her neck. She whimpered and jerked beneath me. God, she was so responsive.

“Tiny dancer, when I’ve had my fill pleasuring you, only then will I allow you my cock. I will feed you it, and you will take it.”

Aloura moaned, arching her sexy body into me. The fabric of her top cut into her pale skin. She looked magnificent.

Keeping the straps taut, I tugged the top down slowly, watching the white of her skin colour from the pressure. Her chest heaved, and her shoulders rocked as I peeled the silk down her skin to reveal my prize. Dusky pink came into view before she released a loud whimper as the silk pulled over her tight nubs. It was my turn to groan when a pert nipple came into view. I kept one covered and concentrated my attention solely on the first. Flawlessness needed attention. A bright flash happened. I blinked, believing my brain was short circuiting.

“Fuck me, you’re amazing.” I leaned over taking a tight nipple into my mouth. Aloura cried out and pushed her breast towards me. I nipped, sucked, and worshiped her. She pulled forcefully against my hold on her cami so she could wrap her arms around my neck.

I was in agony my dick was so hard. If she pressed just the right amount of pressure, I was sure I would blow in my pants.

Sliding my palm over her covered breast, I cupped the delicious weight in my hand and sucked hard on the other. Lifting my head, I stared down at her lying beneath me.

“Please don’t stop.”

“No intention of doing that. You picked the wrong man if you wanted someone controlled.”

I leaned forward to taste her swollen lips when something wet hit my hand, then again. The furry rat, who I had forgotten about, barked.

“We made the sky cry.” Aloura chuckled. Tilting my head back, I glanced up into the night sky and blinked when a fat rain drop landed on my nose.

Aloura tugged at my wife beater and sat up, pressing her mouth hard against mine. With one hand I cupped her ass and the other I pinched at the hard nub of her breast. Taking my hand in hers, she guided the hand at her ass to the front of her shorts.

Messaged received.

The rain came faster.

The rat barked louder, and the flashes of light continued. But none of that mattered. My girl needed release, and I craved to see her fall apart. Sliding my hand into her panties, I was met with bare skin and a perfectly wet pussy. She trembled at my caress as I parted her folds and teased her clit.

“Ryan,” she breathed.

Pushing a finger inside and pressing down on her clit, I clamped my mouth around her nipple and overloaded her senses. She screamed in delight, clawing at my shoulders and neck. I was wrong. Watching a woman come wasn’t the most disgusting thing I had ever seen. It was magical.

The woman in my arms was a miracle.

When her body relaxed, and she breathed out a satisfied breath, I lifted my head and pressed a tentative kiss to her lips. The rain had made her skin luminous. Not able to stop myself, I ran my hand down her rain moistened body and cupped her breast. The cold fabric was a contrast to my heated palm. I could smell her arousal in the air. She was on my skin. I slid my hand out of her panties and sucked on my fingers, tasting her. She wrapped her tiny hand around my wrist, watching me.

“Let me keep you,” I whispered before I could rein the words in. Her returning smile was radiant, and the answer I craved. She pressed her lips to mine.

“Always.”

Another flash had me glancing up at the sky, blinking against the falling rain, giving Aloura access to my neck. I stroked my hands into her hair and wrapped the wet strands in my fist, ready to kiss her back, when the flash occurred again. But it wasn’t from the sky. The rat barked, bringing my attention to our left. That’s when I saw the location of the flash.

“Motherfucker,” I roared. I grabbed Aloura and pulled her against me. I kept my eyes on the intermittent flashes before pushing her through the door.

“Stay there,” I growled, slammed the door and locked it, and ran towards the flash.

Pounding my fists against the glass, I screamed with all my might as Ryan turned and ran into the darkness beyond the patio. From the sliding doors I couldn’t get the angle I needed to even see into the grounds so I raced into the music room, yanked on the cord to the blinds and revealed the garden. I couldn’t see shit. The tall trees were silhouetted by the moon, but the ground beneath was dark.

“Oh my God,” I gasped. Herc hadn’t come inside. I couldn’t leave my baby out there to defend himself. I ran through the house to my bag, I pulled out my keys and swiftly went to the door. I slid it open a fraction and called out to my pooch. Herc always returned when I called, especially when he knew I was scared. “Herc baby, come home.”

“What the hell are you doing out of the house?” Ryan roared as his shadow appeared out of the darkness. I didn’t think I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He placed his meaty hands on my shoulders and pushed me away, holding me at arm’s length as he looked me over.

“You’re okay?” he asked.

“I couldn’t find Herc.”

“Jesus, woman, it’s just a dog he will be fine. Hopefully the little shit took a chunk out of the dickwad’s leg because I sure as hell couldn’t find him. He just fucking disappeared.”

Blinking up at him, I tried not to let his words affect me. Not everyone was a dog or cat person. But Herc was more than a dog to me. He was my family.

“Aw, shit. Come here,” he cursed, pulling me into his arms and wrapping me safely into his chest. “The little rat will be fine. Don’t look at me like I kicked him.”

Something akin to guilt gnawed away at me, that it was
him
I was terrified for. I shuffled my feet forward trying to get as close as humanly possible. “Don’t do that again. Never leave me alone like that.”

“Sorry I was trying –”

“You’re here to make sure I don’t get hurt,” I replied, realising tears were rolling down my cheeks.

“Oh, Jesus honey, don’t cry. I’m sorry. I thought I could catch him. You were safe in the house.”

“Don’t you see if
you
get hurt, that will hurt me. It will
crush
me.”

He gripped me by the shoulders and pushed me away from him so he could see me. I refused to hide. I let him see my fear, pain, and tears at the thought of losing him. He needed to open his eyes to the world and see he belonged in people’s hearts. He belonged in my heart.

“Aloura,” he whispered before pressing his mouth to mine.

“You broke into my life like a thief and stole everything. Ryan, you can’t ever return me,” I whispered against his lips. Hot gentle lips were apologetic at first before his hold tightened, and the intensity of his kiss had my toes curling. He nipped and sucked at my mouth before his tongue invade and claimed.

“Don’t say it. Don’t say it and not mean it.”

I opened my eyes to his hot breath brushing against my swollen lips as he panted against me. His eyes screwed shut. He was shutting out the pain of the rejection he anticipated. But I was open. He had walked into my life, claimed me, and I refused to allow him to give me back.

“Ryan, look at me.”

Ryan shook his head and scrunched up his face. I pressed my palm to his roughened cheek and spoke words I have never owned more in my life.

“Where you are, my heart will follow. One day you will believe me because I shall prove to you I belong by your side. I never want to walk this world alone, not when I know you are somewhere without me.”

Ryan huffed out a long shuddering breath.

“You are my silence,” he breathed, and the broken rasp of his voice told me it cost him to admit such a thing. “In a world of chaos and pain, you are my silence.” He tapped the side of his head, and finally those intense blue eyes opened and fixed on me. “It’s all noise.
Screaming
noise. But you silence it all. You heal my scars. You...you’ve rescued a dying man.”

“You weren’t dying, Ryan. You were lost.”

“Sometimes being so alone you feel death is the only option.” A shiver raced down my spine at the broken honesty of his tone.

“Taking your next breath, opening your eyes, and seeing the people desperate to be by your side is a choice.
Letting
them be your champions, those are choices. You will fail, you will mess up, you will argue. That’s what loved ones do. They fight, they disagree, they make up, they laugh, love and never let go. No one expects you to be perfect. Will is desperate for you to lean on him. I’m sure Jo is too.”

Like a balloon deflating, the man before me lost all of his fight. Ryan leaned into me and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. His hands released me and landed floppily between us, like he had lost all strength.

“I don’t know if I can show them how weak I am.”

“You don’t have to be
weak
. Allow them to be strong
for
you. Allow
me
to be strong.”

“You do realise I am paid to keep you safe right? Not be a pussy crying on your shoulder?”

“Listen, when I need a hero, I’ll call Captain America. I have him on speed dial.”

“You have an unhealthy obsession with that guy. And why choose the guy in blue spandex and not the smart nerd in an armoured suit?”

“Firstly, Tony Stark is not a nerd. Secondly Cap’merica is
gawgus
. What woman wouldn’t want a man with a shield and blue spandex?”

“I’m at a loss for words, Aloura. You are so freaking weird.”

“Would you have me any other way?” I asked, laughter in my voice, but strangely I was nervous for his reply. He lifted his head and searched my gaze. Slowly, like he was conveying something deeply important to me, he shook his head from side to side.

“No, I wouldn’t change a single thing.” He fingered a piece of my hair, pushing it behind my ear. “Let’s get you back inside.”

“What about Hercules?”

“He’s a dog. He will yap his annoying bark when he’s ready to come in.”

I placed my hand over his mouth and headed inside. Ryan may have just offended my best friend, but a huge smile was plastered across my lips. The truth was Hercules was probably curled up on Dad’s brand new couch fast asleep. There was a cat-flap that he uses to get inside.

After making hot chocolate for Ryan and a Horlicks for me, we headed upstairs. At first Ryan was hesitant to follow me into my room, but something within me made me push the issue. I believed neither of us wanted to be alone. There were no expectations. I just didn’t want to be without him.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“I don’t want to be without you either,” he grumbled, like the words pained him. I turned away to hide my smirk, happy that I was finally breaking through his armour.

“Laugh it up, tiny dancer,” he mumbled. I turned to rebuff his assumption I was laughing
at
him. But the words died on a choke in my throat when my eyes collided with skin, tanned, luscious man skin.

Holy Batman

“You’re catching flies, sweetheart,” Ryan goaded. I didn’t miss the mockery in his voice at the word sweetheart. With a pained effort I pulled my eyes from his massive torso and made them make direct eye contact. He was wrestling with his jumper, trying to detangle his vest top from the twisted mess of fabric. He was going to tear the damn thing if he pulled at it any harder. I scrambled to my knees and crawled over the bed and placed my hand over his.

“You’re going to rip it,” I uttered, trying to keep eye contact, but he refused to meet my gaze. He yanked his hands from under my touch, leaving them grasping fabric.

“Fix it,” he snapped, stepping away from me. His hands were balled into fists at his sides. The tension in his body as it twitched and flinched was a huge indicator he was fighting to stay as still as possible.

“Ryan...”

“Fucking fix it, Aloura,” he roared. The vein in his neck bulged threateningly. I tilted my head, regarding him. He had two options, run and show weakness or stand there and fight his fear of me seeing him. I balled the jumper up and pushed it under my legs to sit on. His face flushed a deep puce. His knuckles turned white they were balled so tight. I had either lost my damn mind, or I trusted him beyond belief. Because I had just poked the tiger with a big stick, and he was really freaking angry.

“Don’t hide,” I whispered.

“I’m fucking hideous,” he all but screamed. “This isn’t some fucking fairytale, little girl. You sit there perfect, poised, and so fucking beautiful it hurts in here to know I’m too fucked up Aloura, I need my shirt,” he panted.

“No.”

“Goddamn it woman, you’re impossible.” He stalked towards me, and I knew I had seconds to make a decision. He would move me, take his shirt, and leave. As he approached the bed, I yanked at the hem of my top and pulled it over my head. I was sans bra, and it was a concerted effort not to cover my breasts, but with Ryan visual shows of support worked, rather than words. He jumped back as if he received an electrical shock.

“What the fuck?”

“We are even. I won’t hide from you, if you don’t hide from me,” I stammered, feeling the chill in the air. My skin pebbled with goose bumps at the utter fury in his gaze.

“It’s not the fucking same. And you know it.” He glared at me. Thick brows darkened his ice cold stare.

“Why?” I shuddered, feeling suddenly nervous. My resolve to push waning under his fierce scrutiny.

“Because you are fucking
perfect
. I have scars upon fucking scars. What is this to you? Some rich chick’s attempt at relieving her boredom. Help the injured hero. Fuck that noise, I don’t need your pity. You want to throw tits and pussy in my face? Fine, let’s fucking get this shit over with so I can get back to my damn mission. Because that is all this is. A
job.
A
mission.
Don’t delude yourself it means more,” he growled. His shoulders lifted as he heaved in quick breaths. He was striking out to protect himself. He was hitting first because he felt threatened. I knew that. I understood that. But it didn’t stop his words from hurting me.

I clenched my jaw and fought against the tears stinging the backs of my eyes. I would stay strong for him. I wanted more than anything to prove he could rely on me. Opening my mouth to tell him such, that he had hurt me, but I was still here, I froze. The words died on a choked sob when he turned to leave the room and showed me his back. Quickly I covered my mouth to hide the gasping cry that left my lips at the sight of his mutilated skin.

One half of his glorious back, from his shoulder blade down to his ribs, was a mass of scared red skin. It appeared that at one time half of his body had been burnt away. Veins of white scars slashed over his tanned skin, some reaching up his neck, others across as if the impact had splattered across his skin. The agony he must have endured crippled me. Not only during the attack, but the recuperation afterwards. Tears freely rolled down my cheeks. I scrambled to gather his shirt and deftly separated the vest and t-shirt. With a shaking hand I held them out to him, calling his name softly. He briefly glanced at me over his shoulder and paused when he saw my offering. His lip curled in a snarl. I knew he mistook my tears and giving up his sweater as disgust, but I couldn’t form words right now without dissolving into a fit of loud sobs. So I remained silent.

He stalked towards me and snapped his top out of my hand. I flinched at the anger rolling off of him. “Little girl’s shouldn’t start fucking games they have no business playing,” he snarled close to my face.

I winced, feeling dirty and cheap. I dipped my chin and watched a tear splatter against my naked thigh. Shaking, I reached out and pulled my top over my head. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to hug some warmth back into myself. Ryan stood facing me, solid and brooding, but for once I couldn’t meet his gaze. I had pushed him and backed him into a corner without realising, and he’d fought back. I needed him to leave so I could lick my wounds.

“Enough?” he questioned. I detected a slight hesitation, but I wasn’t sure if that was hope on my side.

I dipped my chin further, giving a silent nod. He shuffled on his feet, staring at me a moment longer before he turned and left my room, slamming the door behind him.