Something Like Rain (Something Like... Book 8) (10 page)

He was digging around in his parents’ bathroom for dental floss when he heard a car pull into the garage. His mother probably, since she often got off work around now. He walked to the dining room to see that he was right. Kate entered and set her purse on the table, hair a little unruly like it had been a particularly hard day.

“Do you know where the floss is?” he asked.

“The drawer closest to the medicine cabinet,” she replied.

He went to fetch it and intended to take it upstairs to his own bathroom so he could brush his teeth afterwards. Then he saw his mother sitting in the dining room, elbows on the table, a hand pressed to either side of her face.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine, honey.” No smile, just exhaustion.

“Should I get you something to drink? Coffee? Or something sweet? My mom makes the best cookies.”

His attempt at humor didn’t cheer her up. Instead she said, “We need to talk.”

“Okay.” He moved closer to the table.

His mother looked him over. “Very sharp. Do you have plans?”

“I’m going out,” he said, unable to suppress a goofy smile.

“Oh. Okay. You go have fun. We can talk some other time.”

William’s smile faded. He sat down at the table, attention not leaving her face. “What’s going on?” he said. “Tell me. Please.”

Kate grabbed her purse and dug inside it with a trembling hand. He didn’t know what she was searching for. Tissues maybe, because she started crying, shoving the purse away in frustration. William was on his feet in an instant, rushing to her side. He tried to hug her, which was awkward because she was still sitting down. Then he hurried to the kitchen and grabbed a few paper towels. Not ideal, but he didn’t want to go farther into the house where he couldn’t keep an eye on her.

“Thank you,” she said when he offered them. She blew her nose, head shaking back and forth. “I hope you won’t be angry at me.”

“Why would I be?”

“Please. Sit down.”

William did as she asked, apprehension making his skin prickle. “What’s going on?”

“As I’m sure you’re aware, your father and I haven’t been getting along lately. We’ve tried to keep as much from you as possible, and I’m sorry if you’ve overheard anything or if we’ve made you feel uncomfortable by—”

“Mom!” he pleaded, wanting her to get to the point.

“Your father and I might be taking a break.”

“Like a divorce?” he said, sounding panicked even to his own ears.

“I don’t know. We have a lot of issues to figure out and—”

“Because he bought that stupid car? Is it really worth ruining everything just because you hate it?”

Kate’s mouth became tight. “There are more issues than just the car. I only want you to be prepared in case he and I can’t find a way to resolve our problems.”

“I’ll talk to him,” William promised. “I’ll make him sell it.”

“Thank you, honey, but this is between me and your father. He and I need to work on this.”

“What about a marriage counselor?”

His mother nodded. “That’s what we’ll do. I didn’t mean to upset you, but I feel you’re old enough to handle the truth. I didn’t like how my own parents’ divorce came as a surprise. That made it harder for me.”

“But you’re just talking about separation.”

“Yes.”

“Does that mean he won’t live with us anymore?”

Kate clenched the paper towel in her hand. “Yes, and if that happens, I need you to think about who you want to live with. We won’t decide for you.”

William felt lost. He had assumed his parents would always be together, that he would never be faced with a choice like this. In his heart, he knew he wanted to stay with his mother, but the idea of his father being alone and incapable of taking care of himself… Kate did everything. The cooking, the cleaning, and keeping everyone on schedule. She wasn’t only a housewife. She had worked full time at the post office for as long as William could remember. Maybe that was why she was sick of his father, because he wasn’t pulling his weight.

“I’ll help out around the house,” William said. “Just tell me what to do. Don’t give up on Dad yet. Okay?”

His mother managed a smile. “What I want you to do is to go out and have fun. I’m sorry I burdened you with all of this.”

“You need to have fun too,” he said. “When’s the last time you and Dad went on vacation? I’m old enough now to be on my own. You guys could take a trip together, figure everything out and—”

“Nothing has been decided yet,” Kate said patiently. “You’re very sweet to care so much. I love you.”

He reached across the table to place a hand over hers. “I love you too.”

Normally this was enough to make her smile, but as William rose and left the room, she didn’t seem to notice him go. Regardless, he still felt bad for doing so.

* * * * *

Trying not to think about something usually leads to thinking about trying to not think of that thing. Errol had gone through a Buddhist phase when he first entered high school and had sung the praises of meditation to William, instructing him on how to achieve a higher state of consciousness. “Clear your mind. Think about nothing. Like… don’t think at all.” William had tried his best, but his thoughts never went completely silent. The closest he could get was thinking really hard about not wanting to think. “Your mind is too young, too undisciplined,” Errol had said back then. The most insubordinate guy in the world accusing him of being undisciplined!

Age had nothing to do with it. William still couldn’t clear his mind like that. He had gotten pretty good at denial, but his thoughts and emotions still came unbidden. He tried anyway as his date with Kelly began. They met at the pool hall, and even though Kelly looked handsome and smelled good and felt warm when standing next to him at the billiards table, William’s mind kept returning to his mother. For a short period, he did manage to have fun and put on a good show for Kelly, but then it all came rushing back: his mother sitting at the table, hands trembling, face crumpled in anguish as she tried to hold back tears. How could he enjoy himself when she was in so much pain?

“You okay?” Kelly asked. He had left to use the restroom. William, guard still down and turmoil in plain sight, hadn’t noticed his return. He pushed away his sad feelings when he saw the concern on Kelly’s face. He cared! That was a thrill of its own, and it certainly didn’t hurt that he looked so fine. They had spent hours together nearly naked at the YMCA, but for some reason, seeing him in a purple dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up over his dark skin—well, it sure made forgetting his problems easier!

William smiled and suggested they grab a bite to eat. He focused on being on his first date. With a guy! If things continued to go well tonight he might even have a boyfriend! Such a simple word, but it sounded magical. He couldn’t help wondering if it held as much significance for Kelly. He did seem to be enjoying himself, even though a booth at Burger King was far from luxurious. No doubt he had been on better dates.

“How many boyfriends have you had?” William asked, dragging french fries through ketchup.

“Oh.” Kelly lifted the bun of his fish sandwich and peered at it critically. “I’m not sure. Do you want me to count?”

“Yes.”

Kelly laughed. “It’s hard to say. Some guys you date for a few days before you figure out it was a bad idea. Do they count?”

“I want a complete list,” William said. “Names, ages, and photos. Everything.”

Kelly smirked. Then he bit into his sandwich, face thoughtful as he chewed. “Seventy-three,” he said after he had swallowed. “Not counting one-night stands.”

William didn’t hide his abhorrence. “Seventy-three?”

“It was a joke! Wow, you must really think I’m a slut!”

“I do now!”

They laughed and consumed a few more bites.

“More like seven,” Kelly said. “And only one of them felt serious. Maybe because he was my first.”

“First boyfriend?”

“Yes, and just about everything else.”

“Tell me about him,” William said, cramming more fries in his mouth.

“His name was José, but his parents were Italian. I guess they just liked the name. He had dark hair and skin, so everyone assumed he was Mexican. I used to tease him about it.” Kelly’s smile was soft. “He was a year older than me, but also inexperienced. I’m not sure what else to say. Our time together was fun. And sweet. I liked him a lot.”

“Were you in love?” William asked, jealously making a stab at him.

Kelly exhaled. “I was fourteen years old, he was fifteen. It felt like love at the time, but we didn’t have anything in common. I’m pretty sure I was more in love with the idea of being in love.”

“Huh?”

Kelly considered him. “Unlike you, I didn’t struggle with my sexuality. I figured out early on who I was and what I wanted. Waiting until I was old enough to
get
what I wanted—that was my challenge. I had plenty of years to dream about being with another guy. Not just sexually. A lot of romantic fairytales played through my mind. When I finally found someone who wanted me back, that’s all I needed. I didn’t worry about what else we might have in common.”

“So what happened?”

“José got a driver’s license, and with it a lot more freedom. He met someone online he liked better. A new guy at the gay youth group had caught my eye, so José and I agreed to explore our options. I remember feeling like that was a very mature decision, when in retrospect, we were both just horny and looking to sleep around. What about you?”

William blinked. “I want more than just that!”

Kelly laughed. “No, I mean have you been in any relationships?”

“Remember my friend who rubbed her boobs on me? That’s as far as I’ve gotten.”

“Seriously? Wow!”

Kelly’s smile was difficult to interpret. Was this a good thing? Did being a virgin make him somehow more appealing? William had heard other guys treat a girl’s virginity like it was a prize, preferring that anyone they date begin as one. For guys, being a virgin was considered shameful. Funny how that worked.

As for being in love with the idea of love, he felt they had enough in common for it not to be that. He and Kelly were both athletic and driven. Kelly cared about competing more, but William enjoyed it too. As they were finishing their meals, they talked about the triathlon again, but for once Jared’s name wasn’t mentioned. This made William happier than it probably should have.

“So what happens once it’s all over?” Kelly asked. “Are you going to keep running with me every other day?”

“I’d rather go back to swimming in the mornings. I have the most energy then.” Concerned about pushing him away, William added, “Unless you want to keep practicing. Then I guess I could wait until the afternoon.”

“No,” Kelly said. “The Olympics aren’t looking for swimmers. Well, they are, but that’s not how I’m hoping to get there. So I guess we’re done training together.”

“Everything ends eventually.” He swallowed, the words having more significance than he intended, the conversation with his mother haunting him once more.

Kelly leaned forward. “Of course, there are plenty more episodes of
Battle Beasts
for you to show me.”

“
Beast Wars
,” William murmured automatically. Then he looked up. “I still want to hang out with you. A lot. Every day.”

Kelly studied his face. “Is something wrong?”

Busted. William exhaled. “Sorry. I promised myself I wouldn’t let it ruin our night.”

“It won’t. Tell me.”

“My mom,” William began, shaking his head at the memory. “After school she sat me down at the kitchen table. She said she needed to talk, but then she just started crying.”

“What? Why?”

“She’s been arguing with my dad a lot. I don’t know why. They always bickered, but lately it’s gotten really bad. Bad enough that she’s thinking of leaving him.”

Kelly’s mouth fell open. “She said that?”

“Kind of. She said they might take a break. Then she asked who I’d want to live with. I couldn’t answer. How am I supposed to? I love them both.” William struggled to collect his scattered thoughts. “They just need a break from everything else, not each other. I told them to take a trip together. I don’t remember the last time we had a family vacation, and now I’m old enough to stay home. They just need to reconnect.”

Kelly nodded. “Probably. All couples argue.”

“Exactly.” He frowned, scowling at the empty wrappers on their table. “I’m having a talk with my dad this weekend. No stupid car is worth ruining a marriage over.” He wasn’t going to let his father’s mid-life crisis destroy their family. William’s mother was probably too nice to say what needed to be said, but he wouldn’t hesitate. Not anymore. She needed him. “I should get home. To be honest with you, I feel a little guilty having fun when I know my mom is so upset.”

“Okay,” Kelly said. “I understand completely.”

They left the smell of fried grease behind, returning to the billiard hall where William’s car was parked. As they drove, he alternated between troubled thoughts and longing glances at Kelly. Their date was ruined, but he couldn’t feel sorry for himself when a marriage had been too.