Tasting Never (3 page)

Ty
is staring at me with an expression that says he's
disappointed.
What he thinks
gives him the right to look at me that way is beyond me.
You're
not worth it.
I
shake my head and step out of the way of the glass doors. They're
swinging
inward and ushering in a rush of cold air and a pair
of guys that I don't like the looks of. There's a girl with them,
too, but I don't like her anymore than I like them. I ignore them
all. There are a lot of shitty people in this world. I know that
better than anyone.

“
I'm
going to take the bus home,” I tell Lacey even though I hate
the fucking bus. The campus is several miles from where we're at,
and I don't want to walk back alone, in the dark, in a pair of high
heels. Talk about a disaster waiting to happen.

“
No,
no,” Lacey says, grabbing my arm as I reach for the door.
She's pouting her lips and looks really stupid with her red lipstick
smeared around her face like a clown. She thinks she looks cute that
way. “Come hang out with us,” she pleads as she nods her
head at Ty and leans in for what's supposed to be a surreptitious
whisper, but actually comes out loudly enough that I know he hears
her. “He's single and cute, don't you think?”

“
You're
a lesbian,” I say to her, not trying to be judgmental but
wanting to prove that she doesn't know shit about guys. “How
do you know if he's cute or not?” Lacey rolls her blue eyes to
the ceiling like she just can't believe how difficult I'm being. I
don't know why she's being so pushy. We're not even friends, just
roommates. Never Ross doesn't have any friends. Not anymore.
“Look, I just want to go home, okay? Is that hard to
understand?” I push past Lacey and reach for the door when a
loud noise sounds from behind me. At first I think that one of Lacey
and Ty's drunken buddies has knocked over some cans because that's
what it sounds like. Then I turn around and see the gun.

It's
clutched in the hands of the new girl and it's pointed straight at
me.

“
Get
down on your fucking knees,” she tells me and I know better
than to argue. Adrenaline pumps through my blood as I squat down and
set the six pack on the floor next to the donuts. Lacey is still
standing, and her legs are shaking, actually
shaking.
I don't
blame her because these people, whoever they are, are serious as a
fucking heart attack. The clerk is already dead, slumped over the
glass counter like a doll. His eyes are as empty and lifeless as the
dead father's are in my single, lonesome memory, and there's blood, a
whole lot of blood. It's splattered across the counter and the
floor, glistening red as rubies. I look away from the body and over
at Lacey. If she doesn't get it together then she'll be joining the
clerk on the other side, and I don't think Lacey's ready for that.
Something my mother once said pops into my head at random.
That
girl was a young soul; she wasn't ready to die.

“
Lacey,”
I say as quietly and calmly as I'm able. The girl with the gun looks
spooked and the guys behind her, they both have guns, too, whether I
can see them or not. I can tell by the way their hands hover around
the openings in their coats. The sneers on their once handsome faces
tell me that they wouldn't mind using them. “Get down.”
Lacy collapses to her knees with a thud and slumps to the side.
She's passed out. I swallow hard and try to catch a glimpse of Ty
and his friends. They're hidden in the aisles, obviously down on
their knees, too. Ty is the only one I can see and he doesn't look
afraid, just pissed off.

At
first, I'm thinking this is just a robbery gone wrong, that if we sit
still and wait, that they'll go away and leave the rest of us alive.
I mean, the girl with the gun looks kind of freaked out, like maybe
she didn't mean to shoot the clerk. Her brown eyes are dilated and
blood shot; they flicker around the room like bugs in a jar. Her
hair is stringy and blonde with dark roots. It's not a good look for
her, giving her pale skin an ashen quality that, combined with the
sweat on her brow, makes her look like she's sick.
Drug addict?
I
wonder as Ty starts to crawl across the floor in the opposite
direction from where I'm crouched. I'm guessing that he's trying to
get to the door that's marked
Employees Only
which is fine
with me because if he gets out, presumably he'll go for help.

“
What
do I do now?” asks the girl as one of the guys hops over the
counter, shoves the clerk's body out of the way and smashes his gun
into the register. Her voice sounds young but rough, like her short
journey on this earth hasn't been the most pleasant. I can agree to
that, but I don't sympathize with her actions. I'm aching, too; I'm
broken, too, but I don't take it out on everyone else. I draw
inwards with my pain. Maybe that's not healthy either, but it's
better than shooting a man who, as far as I know, did nothing wrong
except show up to work today.

“
Just
shut the fuck up,” says guy number one behind the register. He
has big brown eyes that probably once made girls say things like,
Ohmygod he's cute!,
but that now look misplaced in his sunken,
sallow face. He's got a good jaw, strong and square, but even though
I can tell he's young, the skin hangs from his bones like a wrinkled
T-shirt. This guy, whoever he is, looks both sad and angry with the
world.
“You've already fucked this up enough, so shut
your fucking mouth. Mel, search the others, take whatever they've
got.”

Guy
number two, the only one of the three whose hair doesn't look straw,
licks his lips and gives me a once over. I know I look good in my
red dress and heels, and that scares me, really scares me. Seriously
though, they can't be thinking of raping me or anyone else here?
We're in the middle of convenience store. Surely there are cameras?
An alarm system? What about passersby?

“
Hey
there, baby,” he says to me with a leer that makes me want to
break his face. “What's your name?” I don't respond. I
keep my face neutral, bare of even a frown. If I don't give him a
reason to keep looking at me, maybe he won't? Guy Two laughs as he
pauses in front of one of the aisles and finally pulls the gun from
inside his jacket. It's black and wicked looking, a crafting of
plastic and metal capable of changing the world. He bends down and
disappears from sight for a moment.

“
I
think I hear sirens,” says the girl as her hands start to
shake. The gun looks unstable, clutched in inexperienced hands, and
it's still pointed directly at me. If Gun Girl goes rogue, I might
not walk out of here alive. I swallow and try not to let fear
overtake me. It's a useless emotion, more capable of getting me
killed than saving me. Nobody pays her any attention, but Lacey does
groan in her sleep, causing Gun Girl to switch her aim to my comatose
roommate.

Guy
Two stands back up with a wallet in one hand and a new gold watch
wrapped around his wrist. Presumably he's robbed one of Ty's
friends, but I can't see a thing from my position near the front
door. Guy Two is looking at me again, and it's scary as hell.

“
Come
on,” he says to me as he stuffs the stolen wallet in the front
pocket of his green coat. “I bet you'd like to play, wouldn't
you, little bunny?” No reaction from me. It pisses Guy Two
off, I can tell. He storms across the room, boots squeaking on the
white linoleum floor, and slams the back of his hand into my face.
Pain slithers through my jaw, makes every single one of my teeth
ache, and knocks me flat on my back.

“
Don't,”
says the girl with the gun, but she doesn't sound very authoritative.
Obviously, she isn't the boss of this trio. “Just leave her
alone and let's get out of here.”

“
You
said take whatever they've got, am I right?” Guy Two asks as he
looks down at me and licks his lips again. He rubs the stubble on
his face and smiles.

“
We
don't have time for that, asshole,” says Guy One as he empties
the money into a backpack and then starts in after the cigarettes.
“There's plenty of good ass in Memphis. Just grab some stuff,
and let's get the fuck out of here.”

“
Let's
take her with us,” Guy Two says as I sit up and wipe the blood
from my lip. My heart is galloping along at a hundred miles an hour,
but I don't let it show. I haven't gotten this far in life to fail
now. I tell myself everyday that I don't care, but sitting here on
the floor of a convenience store, I know that the indifference, the
disdain, it's all a front. Wish I could admit that to myself outside
of a crisis. Guy Two points his gun at my face. “Stand up.”

“
You're
pathetic,” I say, but I follow his instructions, at least for
the moment. Standing can only help my situation. It's hard to feel
powerful when you're on your knees.

“
Take
off your coat,” he instructs as he waves the gun around like
it's a toy and not a deadly weapon. I shrug my jacket down my
shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Guy Two gives me a rictus
smile and then brushes his fingers down my arm. I smack his hand
away and he snarls, thrusting the barrel of the gun into my forehead.

“
You
must feel pretty fucking powerful,” I bait as I catch a glimpse
of movement reflected in one of the glass doors to the coolers. The
image is blurry, but I think I see someone moving down the back aisle
towards Gun Girl. “So in control of your life. Does hurting
people make you feel good? Do you get off on it?”

Guy
Two stares at me for a long moment, but he doesn't react to my words.
Instead, he pulls back and steps away, turning his attention to
Lacey who's groaning and rolling around on the floor. Shit.

“
Mm,
mm, mm,” he says as he steps over to her. He keeps the gun
locked on my face, but he kicks my roommate over with his boot.
“What a hot, little piece of ass. Do you think she'd wake up
if I started fucking her?” My hands curl into fists, and the
pulse of blood inside my head switches to deafening.

“
Mel,”
Guy One snaps as he hops the counter again and attacks a cooler full
of beer. “We don't have all goddamn day. Get their wallets
and let's go.” Guy Two sneers and reaches down for the brown
belt around his waist. Obviously, he doesn't give a shit about what
Guy One says.

“
Come
on,
Mel,
” I tease, hoping to draw his attention away
from Lacey and back to me. “The master calls.” Guy Two
ignores me, proving that he's the worst kind of monster there is: an
apathetic one. There's a moment there where I wonder what the hell
happened to make him that way. His hair is still shiny and well
kempt, like he hasn't been at this as long as his friends have. His
clothes are newer, nicer than even my own. On the outside, he looks
like any of the thousand frat boys that I go to school with. On the
inside, he's been damaged beyond repair.

“
It'll
only take me a minute,” he says as he lets his belt hang open
and starts to unbutton his pants. Poor Lacey is just waking up, just
realizing that she's still in hell.

“
Don't
hurt me,” she whimpers as her eyes take in the man towering
above her, staring down at her like she's something to be crushed, to
be dominated. Lacey, who doesn't like men, who's blonde and petite
and dressed in a yellow sweater and a white skirt, who's not the kind
of girl that gets into trouble. “I'll give whatever you want,
just please … don't.”

“
They're
coming for us,” shouts the girl with the gun. She's shaking
worse than Lacey now and she can't keep her eyes still. Her massive
pupils are moving too fast for me to keep track. “I don't want
to go to jail. Let's just get out of here.”

Nobody
is paying attention to me at the moment, at least not overtly. I
step out of my heels, careful to keep my movements slow and innocent
because I think if the girl sees me move, she's going to pull the
trigger whether I'm a threat or not. I watch the tenseness of her
shoulders beneath her leather jacket and the twitches in her face.
Careful, Never,
I think as I switch my attention to Guy Two.
Wait till he drops to his knees.
If I'm going to do this, I'm
going to have to be quick.

I
look up, trying to catch that bit of movement in the cooler doors
again. If Ty or one his friends is back there, maybe they can help
me. If they can get Gun Girl, I can get Guy Two, and maybe, just
maybe we'll all get out of here alive and intact.

“
Roll
over,” Guy Two commands Lacey as he switches his gaze to my
eyes and smiles, slow and wicked, blooming across his face like a
disease. Lacey obeys with a sob, turning over and letting herself
pool into a shaking mess of nerves and self-pity. He bends down,
nice and slow, deliberate, and points his gun at the back of her
head. When he reaches out to touch her with his other hand,
something inside of me just friggin' snaps.

I
launch myself forward without a sound, wound up with adrenaline and
anger and fear and I hit Guy Two right in the chest, knocking him to
his back on the floor. The gun goes off and fires a single shot
towards the front of the store, missing my face by a fraction of an
inch. The massive window comes down in a sheet of shards and seconds
later, an alarm rings out, sharp and piercing. My ears are already
ringing and this new sound is enough to paralyze me for just a
moment, just long enough that Guy Two can pull his arm back and use
the butt of his gun to hit me in the face. I fall back with a shout,
hit the ground with my shoulder and roll away, terrified that at any
moment, one of the other two thugs is going to shoot me in the back.