The Anti-Cool Girl (21 page)

Now please excuse me while I climb out of this blanket fort, put on some pants, and try to keep my life halfway together.

My glorious publisher Catherine Milne, you somehow managed to only very politely prod me along when I was missing deadlines and probably giving you stress-related heart palpitations. You have walked me through the process of writing my first book with the patience and nurturing that I needed. Here's to many, many more.

Kathy Hassett, James Kellow, Shona Martyn and the entire team at HarperCollins. I feel so lucky to be working with all of you.

James, thank you for being my blanket fort when I needed it most. This book actually may not have been finished without your dweeby excel skills.

Gretel Killeen, you snuck me drinks in the Qantas lounge and gave me the exact advice I needed to hear. It helped more than you know. Thank you.

Mia Freedman and Jamila Rizvi, thank you both for changing the course of my life. You are brilliant women and
I'm so privileged to know both of you. May the battle to be my mentor rage on. And to every single person who I've worked with at the Mamamia Women's Network, I consider you family. Please don't pass me the nipple ball if it looks like I've got nothing.

All the boys I ever dated: I faked orgasms with some of you and not others, so have fun working that out.

Antonio Sergi and Jacob Stanley, for being the brothers I never had and the most fabulous, supportive, wine-drinking best friends a girl could ever ask for.

Allira and Mohammed, sorry you don't get mentioned in this book. Please proceed to do many embarrassing things that I can spend a lifetime writing about.

And finally, Mama. Thank you for calling me darling and hugging me like nobody else does. I love you.

ROSIE WATERLAND
writes for the Mamamia Women's Network, covering all the important issues (mostly involving reality television and/or herself). Only 28 years old, she rose to fame in 2014 with her laugh-out-loud funny recaps of
The Bachelor.
She gets through most days by finding her own jokes particularly hilarious. This is her first book. To find out more about Rosie, go to
rosiewaterland.com

	@RosieWaterland
	Rosie Waterland

Some material in this book was originally published on
Mamamia Women's Network, mamamia.com.au

Giving head is the worst
mamamia.com.au/rogue/rosie-waterland-giving-head-is-the-worst

I have no freaking clue how banks work
mamamia.com.au/rogue/how-do-banks-work-you-dont-want-to-know

The moment I realised that I am not a functioning adult
mamamia.com.au/social/im-gen-y-and-i-dont-know-what-to-do-at-the-post-office

You'll be less of a woman if you have a caesarean
mamamia.com.au/parenting/what-are-your-push-values

Fourth Estate

An imprint of HarperCollins
Publishers

First published in Australia in 2015
by HarperCollins
Publishers
Australia Pty Limited

ABN 36 009 913 517
harpercollins.com.au

Copyright © Rosie Waterland 2015

The right of Rosie Waterland to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the
Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000.

This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the
Copyright Act 1968,
no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

HarperCollins
Publishers

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195 Broadway, New York NY 10007, USA

ISBN 978 1 4607 5064 3 (paperback)

ISBN 978 1 4607 0522 3 (ebook)

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data:

Waterland, Rosie, author.

The anti-cool girl / Rosie Waterland.

Waterland, Rosie.

Women – Australia – Conduct of life. Biography.

362.76092

Cover design by Darren Holt, HarperCollins Design Studio

Cover image by Rosie Waterland

Typeset in Bembo Std Regular by Kirby Jones

Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press

The papers used by HarperCollins in the manufacture of this book are natural, recyclable products made from wood grown in sustainable plantation forests. The fibre source and manufacturing processes meet recognised international environmental standards, and carry certification.