The Docklands Girls (22 page)

Things were not going well in Bournemouth. Belle and Tom had been there for several days, walking, talking, making love, enjoying each other in every way. They were happy together until that night as they were climbing into bed and Tom had taken her into his arms.

‘God, Belle, I don’t remember when I’ve enjoyed myself so much. We are having such a good time, I always knew you were the woman for me and these days spent together have proved it. Now all we need to do to make it perfect is to get married.’

He felt her stiffen in his arms.

‘No, that wouldn’t do at all,’ she said firmly.

He could hardly believe what he’d heard. ‘Why on earth not?’

‘I tried marriage once before and I didn’t like it.’

‘When was that?’

‘A long time ago when I was young and foolish. I said I’d never marry again. I’ll be your lover, Tom, but I won’t be your wife.’

‘You told me you loved me.’

‘And I do. I want to be with you, but not as your wife.’

He sat up in bed and stared at her. ‘That doesn’t make any sense, Belle.’

‘It does to me! I’ve been on my own too long. I don’t want to give up my independence. I know how you said you wanted children, but I never did. Besides, I’m too old now to be a mother.’

‘How old are you?’

‘Thirty-four and that’s a question no man should ever ask a woman, Tom Harrison!’

‘Under normal circumstances, I would agree, but this is different. You are still of childbearing age.’

‘There you go! You still hanker after a child and I don’t want to be a mother so we’re not as well matched as you seem to think.’

He was lost for words and got out of bed. Lighting a cigarette he sat in a chair and faced her. ‘Marriage doesn’t mean giving up your independence; I like that part about you, you’re a strong woman. That’s great.’

She shook her head. ‘Marriage changes people, I’m happy the way things are between us, let’s leave it at that.’ She turned away from him, pulling the sheet up under her chin.

Tom was at a loss for words. He put out the cigarette, climbed into bed and put his arm over Belle, but she lay still. He put out the light and lay beside her, unable to understand her reasoning.

The following morning over breakfast, for the first time, there was a feeling of tension between them. The jollity that had been central to their relationship was no longer there.

Belle looked at him and said, ‘I think we should go home.’

He didn’t argue. They packed their bags, checked out of the hotel and drove back to Southampton and the ferry.

When finally Tom pulled up outside Belle’s house, he got out of the car, picked up her case and began to walk to the door.

‘I can manage,’ Belle snapped.

He glared at her. ‘You will unlock the door and I’ll take a look around to make sure everything is as it should be – then I’ll be on my way.’

He made a thorough search of the house and when he was satisfied he returned to the kitchen and Belle. ‘No problems anywhere,’ he said, ‘so I’ll go.’ He pulled Belle to him and kissed her hard and long. ‘I will see you very soon,’ he said. ‘This is not yet over.’

Belle watched him drive away with a heavy heart. He was a fine man and she did love him, but she liked being her own woman, not having to answer to another for anything. She wanted to earn her own money and be in control of her life. And, yes, she did want him around, keeping her company, sharing her bed – but marriage? That was a step too far. She was also concerned that her colourful past was now public and knowing men as well as she did, she knew that if they were married, some man was bound to bring up her past one evening, no doubt in a derogatory way, even if it was in a joke and she couldn’t embarrass him like that. No, it wouldn’t be fair.

Tom drove home slowly, giving himself time to think. He’d saved his petrol coupons for the trip and saw he
still had some petrol left in the tank. As he put the vehicle away, he was still confused. He couldn’t believe that Belle had turned marriage down, not after they’d had such a great time. He knew they were good for each other, but how the hell could he convince her? What was she afraid of? He wasn’t a controlling man. He gave a wry smile. He couldn’t envisage anyone controlling Belle. She was a feisty woman and he liked that. He let himself into his flat thinking he’d leave her alone for a few days, give her time to settle down and then he’d call on her.

Two days later, Cora returned from her break in London, full of tales of where they’d been and what she and Simon had done. Belle listened intently, pleased for Cora but when she was asked how her trip to Bournemouth had been, she was somewhat reticent in her answer.

Cora stopped her chatter and looked at her friend. ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

‘Nothing,’ Belle said tossing her hair back, ‘we had a good time; it was lovely.’

‘But what?’ Cora persisted, ‘there is a “but”. I know that tone of voice.’

Her friend sat down by the kitchen table. ‘Tom asked me to marry him!’

‘But that’s wonderful, I hope you said yes?’

‘No, I didn’t. I refused his offer.’

There was silence, then Cora asked softly, ‘Why, Belle? He’s such a lovely man and he thinks the world of you.’

‘I know that and I really like him, but I am too independent to be tied down.’

‘That’s a load of bloody rubbish! You love him, I know you do, he would make a great husband. You’ve told me how lonely you are at times, how you want a man to sit with in the evenings, to look after you. Tom would do anything for you and you know it!’ She stopped her railing and studied her friend. ‘There’s something you’re not telling me. What other reason do you have?’

‘How can I marry him when everyone knows about my past? Someone is going to bring it up. How do you think he’ll react when they do?’

‘If it’s a bloke he’d probably punch out his lights.’

‘Exactly! And don’t forget the women. The men would probably think he’s on to a good thing, but the women …’

Cora could understand her point of view, hadn’t she been down the same road with Simon? But when she’d discussed it with him, he said people soon forget and in time no one would remember anyway.

‘Have you told Tom about this?’

Belle shook her head. ‘Of course not.’

‘That’s hardly fair, is it? He’s offered to spend the rest of his days with you, how do you think he feels? Devastated is how. He has a right to know why you really turned him down.’

Belle ran her fingers through her hair in despair. ‘Yes, I suppose he does. When I see him, I’ll tell him.’

Cora didn’t think it was the right time to tell her friend about her engagement and her future plans, instead she said, ‘Right, I’m off to unpack and have a bath. I’ll see you later.’

The following morning, Belle left the house to shop for food. After leaving the grocery store, she walked into the butcher’s shop. She needed some sausages and, after thinking over the conversation she’d had with Cora, had decided to invite Tom to her house to explain her fears. The shop was full and she stood at the back of several women, waiting her turn.

‘Nice to see you back, Tom,’ one said.

‘Thank you. I took a break and went to Bournemouth.’

‘Yes, I saw you driving off with that woman, Belle Newman,’ said another.

A third woman joined in the conversation. ‘I read about her house being burnt and the court case. Sorry to hear about your brother. Especially after you gave him a home.’

Belle saw the tightening of Tom’s jaw as his smile faded.

Before he could comment the first woman spoke again. ‘Imagine her being on the game! You never know who your neighbours are, do you?’

Belle stepped forward and into sight. ‘You don’t have to worry, my dear, I have a new career now so you won’t have to worry about your husbands calling on me!’ She stormed out of the shop.

Tears of anger stung her eyes as she hurried back to her house. All her fears had erupted that morning, now surely Tom would understand that they could never marry.

After Belle’s exit, the three women were flushed with embarrassment and indignation at Belle’s outburst and they twittered like a lot of birds in an aviary after being disturbed.

Tom glared at them. ‘That remark was uncalled for,’ he told the woman who’d made it. ‘Miss Newman’s past is
nobody’s business but her own. She is here to run her B&B and she works hard to do so.’ His icy look stopped the gossip.

‘Right, who’s next?’

Early that evening Tom called on Belle, who opened the door, looked at him and said, ‘You’d better come in.’

He followed her into the kitchen and watched as she poured them both a gin and tonic. She handed him a glass and said, ‘Sit down, Tom.’ When he was seated she stared at him and said, ‘Now perhaps you’ll understand why it isn’t possible for me to be your wife.’

He spoke softly. ‘You would let a bunch of village gossips spoil the happiness we could have together? That’s not the woman I know.
She
was there this morning giving them hell … where did she go, Belle?’

‘Oh I can still stand up for myself and don’t you forget it – and I’m prepared to take them all on if I have to, but I can’t have you embarrassed because of me.’

‘Don’t you think that is
my
decision? Yes, there would be a few who would not be able to miss the opportunity in the beginning, that’s the downside of human nature but don’t you understand in time, it would all be water under the bridge?’

She sat sipping her drink, thinking. ‘Perhaps you’re right, so let’s wait a while until that water dries up. There’s no rush. Let’s give it time.’

He could see she was adamant. ‘Very well, if that’s the way you want it.’

She walked round the table and sat on his knee, running her fingers through his hair. ‘That’s settled then.’

He put his arms around her and kissed her. ‘You are going to give me so much trouble, but Miss Newman, know that you’ve met your match!’

Laughing she said, ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’

Back at Fort Knox, Milt and his men were home from Germany and all their wives were overjoyed, none more than Hildy. She had cleaned their home from top to bottom, baked some cakes and was in a state of nervous tension until he walked through the front door, carrying a large bunch of flowers.

Flinging herself into his arms, she kissed him until he could hardly breathe.

‘I must go away more often,’ he teased.

‘Like hell you will! That was the longest three months of my life.’

He held her away from her looking at her swollen stomach and, placing a hand on it, asked, ‘How’s the baby?’

‘Fine, absolutely fine. I think it’s a boy the way it kicks me.’

‘How are you, darling? Are you going to the doctor regularly?’

‘Of course, don’t fuss, I’m fit and well, just very lonely.’

He put the flowers on the table and said, ‘How about making your old man a cup of coffee then we can sit and catch up with each other’s news?’

Soon they were sat at the table, cutting into one of her cakes and drinking the welcome brew.

Milt sat looking at his wife. ‘God, I’ve missed you,’ he said. ‘The days seemed never-ending.’

‘For me too, but the other wives have been great. We go shopping together and to antenatal classes … you should see me bathing the doll.’

‘Bathing a doll?’ he looked bemused.

‘Yes, it’s the same size as a newborn baby, so when ours is born, I’ll feel competent.’

Shaking his head slowly, he said, ‘I can’t imagine you being anything else but competent, Hildy.’

‘Oh I don’t know about that, I’ve never been a mother before.’

‘Nor I a father, but we’ll be great, you’ll see.’

He then told her about being in Frankfurt, how the country was trying to build itself again after the war. ‘We are so lucky here in America,’ he said, ‘you’ve lived through the same devastation as Germany, but here, apart from the troops who have been involved, civilians have no idea.’

Hildy laughed. ‘I do know. When I was asked about the war in England and told the wives about the Blitz and the rationing and clothing coupons, they found it hard to understand. But thank heavens for that, enough folk have suffered.’

She told him the news from England, the fire and the court case, but didn’t mention Belle and Cora’s past; it was their business after all.

The following weeks passed by as Milt and Hildy returned to their normal lives on the base. They had decided to wait
until the baby was born and then look for their own house as Hildy was so near her time.

The other wives had arranged their shower for her, which was a revelation. So many lovely gifts: clothes, nappies, soft toys, a bassinette. She was overwhelmed by their generosity and thanked them profusely.

These they brushed aside. ‘We army wives stick together, Hildy,’ one said and she realised how true that was, knowing that without their company when Milt was away, her life would have been very different.

One morning when she was alone tidying the house, Hildy doubled over from a pain that was so bad she cried out: then her waters broke. For a moment she was in a panic, knowing that the wives living either side of her had gone into town. She managed to crawl to the phone and rang the duty office. When she told the soldier on the end of the line what was happening, he told her not to move, he’d send someone over.

Within minutes, a doctor arrived with a nurse. He examined her carefully and, looking at the nurse, said, ‘We need to get her to the hospital now!’ He picked Hildy up in his arms, put her gently in the back seat of the car with the nurse beside her and drove swiftly to the camp hospital, where she was put into a bed and undressed. Milt was summoned quickly.

He was outside the ward, walking up and down, waiting for someone to tell him what was going on. He’d been told his wife had been taken into hospital, but that was all. However, there had been something in the voice of the caller that worried him.

Eventually a doctor came to see him.

‘Sergeant, we have examined your wife and we think the baby is in trouble, so we need to give your wife an emergency caesarean section and she’s being prepped for surgery now.’

‘Can I see her?’

‘Yes, for a moment. Try and calm her if you can, she’s worried naturally.’

Milt was taken into the ward as Hildy was about to be wheeled to the theatre, he walked beside the trolley, holding her hand.

‘Take a deep breath, darling, and relax. Everything’s going to be just fine.’

‘What about the baby, Milt?’

‘Baby’s fine too, just enjoying a bit of drama, so it’s bound to be a female. I’ll be here waiting for you. I’m not leaving this building, you hear?’

She gave a wan smile. ‘I hear.’

He watched as they took Hildy into the theatre. A nurse told Milt to go to the waiting room. ‘We’ll come and see you after the operation, Sergeant. Your wife’s in good hands, I promise.’

Milt went through all kinds of hell as he waited. He’d been in war zones, seen men killed and had never been as scared as he was right then. His thoughts were driving him crazy. If anything happened to Hildy or the baby, he didn’t know what he’d do. He’d brought her away from friends and her homeland and now – was she in danger? Were they going to lose the baby? He walked up and down, unable to settle. He chewed gum until his jaws ached.

Eventually, to Milt it felt a lifetime, the doctor emerged
from the theatre and came over to him. ‘Congratulations, you have a daughter,’ he said.

‘My wife?’

‘She’s fine. She’ll be a bit sore for a while, but she’s okay.’

‘The baby?’ Milt asked.

‘Your child had the cord twisted around her neck, that was the trouble; we’ve put her in an incubator and are monitoring her all the time, but her chances are good. She’s just had a hard time making it into the world.’

The relief flooded through Milt and he felt sick. The doctor went to the water cooler, filled a cup and handed it to him.

‘Here, Sergeant, drink this and sit for a moment, I don’t want another member of the family collapsing on me.’

Milt thanked him and downed the water in one go. ‘I didn’t realise that childbirth could be quite so dramatic!’

The surgeon laughed. ‘Fortunately normally it isn’t. I know, I’ve four children.’

‘I’m not at all sure I can put my wife – or me for that matter – through this again.’

Putting a hand on his shoulder, the surgeon said, ‘Don’t let this put you off, an only child is a lonely child. I know: I was one. We’ll let you know when your wife is back in the ward and you can sit with her. She’s still under the anaesthetic, so she won’t be awake for some time, but we can take you to see your daughter.’

‘Oh thanks, that would be great.’

‘She has some breathing apparatus helping her at the moment, but in time she’ll be breathing on her own.’

Milt was taken into a room and led over to a small incubator with a nurse attending. She smiled at Milt.

‘Come and meet your daughter, Sergeant Miller.’

He looked down at the tiny figure through tears as he saw the breathing apparatus in her mouth. She looked so small and vulnerable. He looked at the nurse.

‘Is she going to make it?’

‘Oh yes, she will, we just have to hope that with a little care and attention she’ll not suffer any problems with her breathing in the future. We’ll know pretty soon. She looks a fighter to me, Sergeant, so try not to worry.’

Another nurse came in. ‘Your wife is back in her ward, Sergeant Miller, if you want to join her.’

He took one last lingering look at his daughter and then went to find Hildy.

Sitting beside the bed, he gazed at the sleeping figure of his wife, saw the paleness of her skin, the dark circles under her eyes and he wanted to weep. Taking her hand, he kissed it.

‘Oh honey, I didn’t want to put you through this,’ he said quietly. ‘I’ve been to see our little girl and she’s beautiful. Don’t you worry now, she’ll be fine.’ He paused, wanting to say so much more, but to find the words was difficult as he was so overcome with emotion.

‘I love you so much, Hildy. I am so lucky that we met and now we have a child. How amazing is that! You scared the hell out of me, honey, and I’m not sure I’ll ever recover, so don’t you dare do it again, you hear me?’

Her eyes flickered. ‘Milt?’

He stood up and, leaning over her, he kissed her cheek. ‘I’m here, honey, and I ain’t going nowhere.’

He felt her gently squeeze his hand and saw her smile softly, then with a sigh, she slept.

A nurse came into the room, took Hildy’s temperature, checked her pulse and looking at Milt said, ‘She’s fine Sergeant, she’s sleeping off the anaesthetic, she’ll wake in her own time. Can I get you a coffee? You look as if you could do with one.’

‘Thanks, that is a great idea.’

Milt sat beside the bed until eventually Hildy came to. She was still a little woozy but she smiled at him. ‘Hello,’ she said.

‘Hello honey. Gee, I’m so pleased to see you awake.’

She frowned. ‘The baby?’

‘She’s doing just fine, I’ve seen her and she’s perfect. She’s in an incubator at the moment, but not for long. The cord was round her neck, so they’re just taking precautions, making sure she’s okay.’

At that moment the surgeon walked into the room. ‘Ah I see you’re awake, Mrs Miller. Now you’re not to worry about your daughter, she’s in good hands. Tomorrow, we’ll put you in a wheelchair and you can see for yourself.’ He smiled at Milt and left them alone.

Eventually the nurse sent Milt home.

‘You look worse than the mother,’ she chided. ‘Go and get something to eat and go to bed. Both your women will be fine, you can come back tomorrow afternoon.’

He drove back to the house, poured himself a stiff measure of bourbon and drank it. He searched in the fridge for something to make a sandwich, as he realised he was hungry. In his mind was a picture of his newborn child in an incubator with the breathing apparatus and he felt the tears wet his cheeks. Lighting a cigarette, he left
the house and walked around the perimeter of the camp until he felt calmer and in control, before he went home.

News spread among the men of the new arrival and Milt was congratulated and teased all the morning and by the time he left to visit the hospital in the afternoon, he was loaded down with flowers, fruit and magazines sent along by the wives.

To his surprise, Hildy was sitting in the chair beside her bed.

‘Well, honey, that looks a good move. Are you alright?’

She grimaced. ‘They got me out of bed this morning,’ she said, ‘and I walked a little, it is uncomfortable but when they take out the stitches, I’ll be fine.’

At that moment a nurse arrived with a wheelchair. ‘Come along, Mrs Miller, we are going to see your baby.’ She helped Hildy into the chair and wheeled her to the room where the baby was. Hildy peered into the incubator.

‘Oh Milt, she looks so frail!’

He put a hand on her shoulder. ‘She’s going to be fine, honey.’

The nurse walked round and opened a section of the incubator. ‘Here, hold her hand.’ Then she left them alone.

Hidly took the small fist in hers and stroked it, cooing and talking softly.

‘Hello little one, I’m your mother and your dad is here too. You are so beautiful and I can’t wait to hold you. You get better soon so we can all be together.’

The nurse returned. ‘She’ll be fine, don’t you worry. We have to get you fit enough to cope with a new baby too, so let’s go back to your room and put you back in bed.’

When she was settled, Milt handed over all the goodies and flowers that he’d been given. Hildy was overcome with such kindness and said so.

‘Well, darling, the base is a kind of family – we all help each other.’

‘It was like that back home in the Blitz. It’s amazing how people pull together.’

‘Now, of course,’ said Milt, ‘we have to choose a name for the baby. Any ideas?’

‘Yes, as a matter of fact, I would like to call her Hope. Don’t ask me why, I just like the name and we have such hopes for her future. What do you think?’

‘Hope Miller … yes, I like it.’ He chuckled. ‘I was warned by my men who were fathers that choosing a name caused so many arguments with their wives, but look at us. Wait ’til I tell them, they won’t believe it!’

‘Next time you come in, will you bring me two airmail letters so I can write to the girls and tell them the news?’

‘Of course. I wonder how they’re getting on.’