but now that disgust was gone. It felt good. Jake had done nothing wrong, he had saved her and nursed her. This shouldn‟t destroy their relationship. It should strengthen it. Jake too was smiling. He must feel the same way I do. She was even able to put everything that happened out of her mind and fantasize about his body again. She nodded, “Wow, this feels great” she said smiling and grabbing Jake to hug him. Jake hugged her back and they lost their balance and rolled off the bed both laughing. She pushed herself up and said “I‟m hungry.” It was late afternoon already and she had slept most of the day. The last time she had eaten anything it had been over twenty four hours ago. She walked out of the bedroom and stepped into the living room of a very small old apartment. The place was run down and a mess. There was a dirty old couch and a table with two chairs in the kitchen which was attached like her „old‟ apartment. That sounded odd. However her old apartment had been the Ritz compared to this place. Jake stood in the bedroom doorway. “Sorry, it‟s the only place I could find on such short notice” he said, “it‟s a friend‟s and we can stay as long as we like.” “It‟s great” she said, “As long as I‟m here with you it will be perfect.” He smiled and she walked to the fridge and opened it. There wasn‟t much there and she made a sandwich for herself. “Where are we?” she asked. “In an outskirt of Chicago” he responded, “it‟s a bad neighborhood but it‟s a place to stay. You shouldn‟t go out alone at night.” She nodded as she ate her sandwich greedily. She didn‟t care. Nothing that could happen to her could be worse than last night and that seemed not that big of a deal right now. She knew it was the effects of the drugs but didn‟t care. She made another sandwich and ate that one as quickly as the first one. Then she washed it down with a glass of milk. Her situation was dire she realized, a seventeen year old run away from home and on the run with a criminal. But he had become a criminal over her and she couldn‟t blame him for that. He had shot a man that had raped her. And she felt confident. Together they could handle anything. They sat down on the couch and discussed their future together. He would find work here and they would fix this place up. It would all be perfect. About an hour later she felt the warmth drift away and slowly the images from last night started coming back to her. It hadn‟t been like before after the drugs. She could no longer push them away and they were real, so real. Not like before where it had felt no worse than having seen it on a TV show. Jake noticed her demeanor change and walked into the bedroom to get the mirror and the bag. It was a big bag and it had plenty in it he explained. When she needed to she should just do a line. He showed her how to do it and how much to put in a line and she snorted it eagerly; anything to stop it all from coming back to her. Jake didn‟t do another line and he got up. “Make yourself at home” he said and he grabbed his coat, “I‟ll be back in a bit, I‟ve got some business to take care of. I‟ll bring dinner home.” The drugs were taking their effect again and she started feeling good again. She begged him to stay but he insisted he had to take care of stuff for them, so they could be together. He closed the door behind him and she stood there all alone. The drugs made it bearable though. In fact she felt restless. She found her bags and got some clothes out. Then she took a shower and got dressed after which she sat down and looked around. She was too jumpy to sit, so she got up and started to clean the place. She wanted to make him happy and cleaned for several hours and whenever she started to feel the drugs wear off she quickly did another line. She had no idea how long it had been since Jake had left but remembered she had done three more lines since he had left. It had gotten dark a while ago but she was very much awake and had more energy than after she had gotten up. Jake came home with a pizza and they ate on the couch while watching TV. The place looked great he had commented when he had walked in. During dinner she felt the high wear off again and grabbed for the bag to do another line. Jake took it from her and she shot him an angry look. He took the pill bottle out again and gave her two. “Take these or you‟ll never be able to sleep” he told her. She shrugged and took them. Minutes later she fell asleep in his arms. The next morning she woke up in the bed by herself. She called out for Jake but there was no reply. She saw a note on the night stand and read it. The note read “I‟m out looking for work, will be home tonight. Relax. Love Jake.” The haze of the last two days lifted and she noticed the bag and mirror next to the note. She quickly prepped a line and snorted it. Then she lay back praying for it to kick in fast. It did and she felt better. As the day went on she was going stir crazy in the small apartment. Every time she felt as if she was coming down from the high she took another line. By noon she had cleaned everything she could think of and was too hyper to sit and watch TV. Out of frustration she cleaned everything again taking lines when she felt the high wear off. As the day went on she noticed the highs becoming less high but luckily the coming down from them wasn‟t that bad anymore either; mostly because her mind was on taking more drugs rather than on the rape. Late at night Jake came home and she was happy to have some distraction. He brought dinner again and she asked him if he had found anything and he shook his head. “I could see if I can find anything” she offered. He shook his head and said “No, you are being looked for. If your name shows up anywhere they will be here in no time.” He seemed down and she asked if there was anything she could do. He shook and said no as he walked into the kitchen to get a beer. She got the bag out and fixed up a line and offered it to him as he came back from the kitchen. “No, thanks” he said, “I don‟t feel like that.” She looked at him puzzled and then at the line on the mirror. She shrugged and snorted the line herself rather than letting it go to waste. Then she let it kick in and stood up in front of him. She took her shirt off and rubbed her bare breasts. “Then maybe you want some of this?” she asked playfully. He smiled and pulled her toward him. They made love which she thought should have been repulsive so short after the rape but it wasn‟t. The drugs not only made it ok, they also made it more intense. “We need to get some sleep” he said afterward and got up. She was too restless she said and he gave her more of the „magic‟ pills and they fell asleep shortly after. About two weeks went by and he left every morning and returned at night without much good news on the job front. She kept herself in check with the drug and as time went by she was able to come down from a high without too much distress. At times she had been able to wait for more than an hour after the high wore off. She wanted to keep taking it but then the restlessness drove her nuts. After two weeks she had used up almost the whole bag. Jake told her he had to take care of some business and was going to be gone for a few days again. She nodded. The next morning he said goodbye and told her he would be back in three days. He left some money for food and apologized he couldn‟t leave more. She told him it was plenty and kissed him goodbye. He left and Kim looked at the almost empty bag and for the first time decided to try and go without. She had to make it last until Jake got back. It was almost May now and the weather was getting much warmer. She ventured outside for the first time to check out her new neighborhood. Jake had been right, it wasn‟t a very good neighborhood. She walked around but stayed within two blocks of the apartment. She turned back to the apartment about an hour later with her mind and body demanding the drugs. When she got to the building a black girl about eighteen or nineteen years of age was sitting on the steps smoking a cigarette. It smelled funny. She recognized the smell and knew it was pot. The world she had landed in seemed so unreal. She said hi to the girl and the girl looked up. “Are you the new chick from number 6” she asked. Kim nodded and stuck out her hand “I‟m Kim” she introduced herself. The girl shook her hand and replied “Anisha.” “You lived here long?” Kim asked. “Six months” Anisha replied, “I used to live 4 blocks over but my mom‟s new boyfriend kicked me out, so now I‟m here. It‟s not bad.” Kim swallowed. Anisha was telling this as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Want some?” Anisha asked as she offered the cigarette to Kim. Kim didn‟t want to seem like a snob with the only person she had to talk to and accepted. She took a tug on the cigarette and it sent her into a major coughing fit. Anisha snickered as she took the cigarette back. “I know” she said, “It‟s not very good shit but it‟s all I can afford right now.” The smoke made Kim dizzy and she sat down next to Anisha. “Sorry” she wheezed, “I don‟t smoke much.” “That‟s ok” Anisha said with a smile, “I prefer some better shit too like coke. Especially before I go to work.” Kim gave her a puzzled look “you go to work stoned?” she asked. “Girl, if you walked the streets like me you‟d do the same. It doesn‟t make it better but it takes the edge off” Anisha said. Kim was shocked and in a flash she felt emotional scars from the rape at the thought of this girl having sex with total strangers. “Hang on” she said and she went inside. She took the mirror and fixed two lines on it. She walked back out and sat down next to Anisha again. Then she snorted the first line and offered the second to Anisha who eagerly accepted. “Thanks girl” Anisha said, “now that‟s what I‟m talking about.” With the drugs settling in Kim moved from being repulsed to being intrigued at Anisha‟s profession. They sat for a little bit waiting for the drugs to take full effect. Kim turned to Anisha and asked “So you sleep with men for money?” “No sleeping going on there, just sex” Anisha responded smiling at Kim‟s question. “How can you do it with all these different men that you don‟t even know?” Kim asked. Anisha looked ahead and said “You get used to it….no actually you don‟t get used to it. You just learn to tolerate it and try not to think about it.” She paused for a moment then continued “There are a few tricks to make it easier.” “Tricks?” Kim said in an inquiring tone. Anisha nodded then pointed at the mirror between them “That helps” she said, “another trick is to get a guy worked up real good before you do anything with them.” “What do you mean?” Kim asked intrigued. Anisha sighed almost seeming surprised at how someone Kim‟s age could be that green. “You know, you give them a little show, play with yourself a bit not letting them touch you. Then play with their dick with your hands for a bit. Then when they are close you fuck or blow them or whatever you agreed on. Then they will come in seconds and you don‟t have to have them inside of you as long” she explained. Another pause then she quickly added “You will want to make sure you get them in you though. If you work them up too much and they come before you start fucking or sucking they will only pay you for a hand job which is a lot less.” Kim looked at her in amazement, she thought she should be shocked about all this but she wasn‟t. It must be the drugs she thought, it had been almost like a lecture from a teacher in class. “How much does it pay?” Kim asked curiously. “I charge ten for a hand job, twenty five for a blow and fifty for a fuck. Anything kinky is extra” Anisha said, another pause, “you can get double for without a condom” she added. “Isn‟t that dangerous” Kim asked. Anisha nodded and said “Yes, but if you are hard up for cash you sometimes need to. The girls don‟t get rich from this work. Sure on a good night I can take home six hundred dollars but it usually doesn‟t last long.” Kim shivered as she did the math quietly. “The problem is that you have to have a guy to protect you and bail you out and stuff. They take most of the cut. Then you need drugs which is expensive. Then when you do get hard up for cash and do some without condoms you usually end up with nasty diseases and between the diseases and drugs you don‟t get much more appealing and your market price goes down. Add in a few accidental kids and you are stuck here for life. The trick is to keep control of your cash, than you stay off the drugs and don‟t do without condom. Then you can survive this” Anisha explained. She took another tug from the cigarette and continued. “I saw a girl here once. She got in trouble somehow and needed the cash. She set an amount she needed and stayed off the drugs. She was out of here in no time and went back to college. It‟s rare though most of us need the drugs to keep going without going insane” Anisha said. Kim listened to it all in amazement. She had seen things on TV even from news reports but it was all so foreign. It all seemed like fiction and here she was in an area where it was apparently the most normal thing in the world. “Are you going to hook?” Anisha asked her, wondering after all the interest. Kim shook her head quickly and shuddered shocked at the question. Anisha looked straight ahead “Good for you” she said, “Girl like you could make a lot of money though.” Kim looked at her in shock never having even thought of the idea. Anisha continued “You look young and clean. I know you are using but haven‟t for very long so you aren‟t showing. Guys would be falling over you. They all want a young pure white girl. The younger the better, it‟s kind of sick if you think about it.” Shocked at the thought Kim quickly switched topics. They chatted for a long time until Anisha said she had to go and get ready. Kim went back inside as it was starting to get dark. She