The Sky Is Dead (16 page)

“You’ve got the twenty-pound note,” she pointed out.

“Oh yes. Is anywhere open today?”

“It’s a Saturday. Most places will be open.”

“I’ll go into town.” I look at the woman who has transformed my life. “Thank you, Mary. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you have done for me.”

She looks pleased. “Get over with you. I’m just glad I’m in a position to help. Thank Sylvia if you have to thank anyone. She’s the one who mentioned you.”

I lean forward and place my hand over hers. “It’s more than just the home. It’s the care and affection you’ve given me. More than I’ve had in years from anyone, apart from Harry.”

“You are more than welcome, dear, although I shouldn’t need to point out Ben tried to help you before. Now get your coat on. I need to go into town as well.”

J
ACK
turns up again that evening. I’m tired and crashed out on the sofa, watching a film. He gives me a grin at the suggestion we spend the night in, and joins me on the sofa, close but not too close. By the end of the film, I’ve got my head on his chest. I’m pretty sure I dozed off partway through, but I wake up for the end explosions. Nearly all of Mary’s films seem to involve explosions.

“Hey.”

I look up to see Jack smiling at me. He looks so young, but Harry’s innocence is gone, ripped away by the death of his mother, I suppose.

“Kiss me,” I say, and he bends down to place his lips on mine. It’s awkward at first, and then we wriggle to get the angle just right, and the kissing is wet, and hot. He explores my mouth, demanding that I open up to him. Virginal he might be, but Jack knows what he wants, and at the moment, he wants me. I’m not objecting.

I slide a hand under his jumper to feel his warm skin. Jack moans against my open mouth. His nipples are hard against my fingertips, and he shivers every time I press down on them. He’s really responsive to every move I make, and it makes me even harder. I sit up so I can lean over him. I want to push him down into the sofa cushions and explore every part of him. The last time I had the luxury of being with someone was the awkward fumbling with Harry. Since then, it’s been blow jobs and taking it up the arse for cold hard cash. No intimacy or affection, no time to get to know a body. Not that I’d have wanted to get to know the men who paid me. But that was then and this is now.

Jack tries to sit up, but I keep him pinned to the sofa. “Take me to bed,” he begs.

It occurs to me that locking the door from the house might be a good idea before we fuck. I don’t even know if the door has a lock.

“Hold that thought,” I say, and I head for the door, ignoring Jack’s pout. Thankfully there is a key in the lock, and within seconds I’m back and helping Jack off the sofa. Jack immediately sinks to his knees and pulls down my joggers and boxers.

“I thought you wanted me to take you to bed?” I say, although since his intention is obvious, I’m not that bothered.

Jack looks up and licks his lips. Fuck, if that doesn’t make me grow harder. From the harsh intake of breath, Jack sees my reaction.

“Have you done this before?” I ask, curious to see what he says.

He hesitates, and I can almost see him think about lying to me, then he shakes his head. “Not since Danny. I’ve had it done to me a few times.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask who the other men were.

“He was my first. And a couple of the guys from school sucked me off, but I’ve never done it to anyone else.”

“Why not?” I ask, tangling my fingers in his hair.

He hesitates again. “I promised myself I would find Danny.”

I still my fingers in his hair. “I’m not Danny.”

“I know. But they told me Danny died.”
They did?
“I know I’ll never see Danny again, and I want you so bad.”

Who are they?
I needed to ask more questions but not now.

“I want you too.” I fumble in my pocket and hand him a foil packet.

Jack pulls a face, but obediently rolls the condom down my cock. He’s more skilled than he was last year despite not having much practice, I notice, and I can’t deny how jealous that makes me. He leans forward to touch my dick with his tongue. I jerk at the first touch of him. He pulls away as if he’s done something wrong, but I guide him back. “More. That’s good.”

He looks up, unsure.

“Do whatever you want,” I say, encouraging him with gentle pressure.

He huffs out a breath and leans forward again, his tongue coming out to explore the head of my cock. I hold my breath, almost too scared to breathe in case it frightens him away again. But he makes this noise, half moan, half grunt, as he holds on to my hips, digging his fingers into them, and then he’s truly licking and sucking me, and it’s all I can do to keep on my feet.

It’s clumsy and he grazes my skin too often with his teeth, but he’s into it, into me, and I don’t fucking care. We can improve the technique later. I ignore the fact there isn’t going to be a later.

I’m going to come and I don’t want that. I want to come buried in his arse. He glares at me as I tug on his hair.

“Want to take you to bed,” I say, and I hold out my hand.

He nods, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and gets unsteadily to his feet. “Want you too.”

Holding up my joggers as best as I can, I dispose of the condom and shuffle over to the bed and turn to Jack. Undressing him takes a long time. I want to explore his body. He’s big. I know I thought that before, but with the two of us standing together, it’s obvious he has far outstripped me in development—in all areas.

Once again I feel inadequate, but Jack doesn’t seem to care. He traces a path over my neck with one fingertip. “You’re gorgeous,” he says.

I look away. “Don’t give me that. I’m too skinny.”

To my surprise, he agrees. “You are. I can see every rib, but you’ve been ill. You’re still gorgeous.”

“You need your eyes checked.”

He steps into my space. “I can see just fine. Old people like you need their eyes checked.”

“Cheeky git.” I slap his arse, the sound ringing out into the quiet room.

Apart from a sharply indrawn breath, he doesn’t make any objection, but I apologize anyway.

“I liked it,” he whispers.

I swallow hard. Fuck, if we just had more time.

“What happened here?” he asks, tracing the pink scar left by the knife.

“Got stabbed.”

“Fuck. When was that?”

“Last year,” I say shortly, not wanting to give away too much information.

“What…?”

“Do you want to talk or fuck?” I ask, cutting him off.

He looks at me, his eyes huge. “Just tell me they got the bastard that hurt you.”

I nod. George was caught and put away. Joe got community service. If it had been just me as a witness, the courts might have accepted their defense of the homeless guy assaulting them, but an elderly couple witnessed the stabbing and saw them running away.

I hope the bastards rot.

“Good,” he says. “Now fuck me.”

“Get on the bed.”

“Wait, we need lube and condoms. They’re in my coat pocket.”

“I bought some today. In the bedside table.”

At Jack’s inquiring look, I say, “Part of my conversation with Mary. She gave me the money to be safe.”

He crows as I blush. “I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for that conversation.”

“Ha
-
ha,” I say sourly.

“You’re very lucky. I can’t imagine having that conversation with my dad, let alone my gran.”

“Me neither. Mary is one of a kind.”

“What about your parents?”

“Are we going to fuck or are we going to exchange parental stories?” I ask quickly.

“We’re going to fuck like bunnies,” Jack assures me.

Glad he’s easily diverted, I push him onto the bed. “Let the bunny-fucking commence.”

Jack spreads his legs, and my mouth goes dry at the sight of him spread open like that. I want to take him now, push him down into the sheets and fuck him hard, but this is his first time, and no way is it going to be like my fucks. Memories of being cold, and the pain from my face being pushed against a brick wall, rancid sweat, and being held so I couldn’t get away flood my mind. I force them away. They have no place here, with us.

I kneel on the bed between his legs and reach for the lube. Jack looks very young and uncertain as he watches me, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. He wants this, it’s obvious, but he’s nervous.

“Tell me if I hurt you.” I lean over him and slide one slick finger between his arse cheeks. He closes his eyes as I press in. “Open your eyes,” I say, needing that contact with him. He opens his eyes slowly, almost reluctantly, it seems. “Are you okay?”

Jack nods. “Feels odd.”

“I can stop.”
Please, please, don’t make me stop.

“Don’t you dare,” he says, almost savagely, reaching out to clamp around my wrist. His hand is sweaty and slips on my skin, but he holds on as tight as he can.

“I won’t.” It’s a promise. A vow.

When I think Jack’s ready, I insert another finger. I revel in being allowed to take the time to make it right. By the time he is humping the air, desperate for more, I’m more than ready too. I ease my sheathed cock into his tight channel. Fuck, he’s so tight, but he’s doing his best to open for me. I go slowly, and by the time I’m seated, Jack is panting hard, sweat beading across his brow.

“Okay?” I ask, my voice almost too loud in the stillness of the room. I wish I’d left the TV on.

“Yeah.” Jack gives me a smile. “You gotta move or I’m going to pop before we get started.”

I laugh in relief, but his cock is hard, flushed angry red and weeping from the tip. “Hold on just a bit longer.”

“You’re fucking joking, aren’t you?”

I pull out, and he gasps. “Hold on,” I order again and push back in. My rhythm is ragged, but I thrust into him, reveling in his gasps and pleas. I’m leaning over him, feeling his cock slap against our bellies.

“David! David. Gotta….” He comes, his body clamping down on mine so tight it holds back my own orgasm. When I do climax, it’s almost painful in its intensity.

“Fuck!” I yell, forgetting I could be heard elsewhere. All I can think about is the relief of my balls emptying into the condom, and the hard, sharp pants of the boy underneath me.

“Breathe out,” I say as I pull out, making sure I hold on to the condom.

Jack does as he’s told, but I can see him wince as I withdraw. I get rid of the condom and lie on the bed next to him, stroking his torso as we both calm down. Slowly the flush leaves his skin, and his breathing returns to normal.

“That was fucking amazing,” he whispers.

“Are you sure? You don’t hurt too much?” I’ve never cared about any of my past “partners,” except for Steve and Harry, but I want to make sure Jack is okay.

“I feel like someone stuck a two-by-four up my arse, but it was fucking amazing.” Jack raises himself on one elbow as he turns to face me. “David, I’m glad it was you.”

David, not Danny.

“I’m glad it was you,” I respond.

He leans forward to kiss me. I haven’t done much kissing before. No one’s wanted to kiss me since Harry left. Jack doesn’t kiss like Harry. Harry was soft and unsure. Jack kisses like he means it. I appreciate the difference.

I also appreciate the way he’s now kissing down my abs, along the thin line of hair. “You got something on your mind?” I ask, raising one eyebrow as he looks at me.

“Yeah.” Jack gives me a wicked smirk.

“What’s that?”

He rises up over me and reaches for the rubbers. He’s hard again. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

I can do that.

Chapter Fourteen

December 27

S
YLVIA
knocks on my door later that evening. It’s almost eleven and I’m lying on the wreck of the bed. Jack left earlier with more kisses and apologies that he had to see his grandma. I don’t mind. It gives me time to think. I need to be able to separate myself from the relationship that’s developing. Jack tells me he’s flying back on the fourth of January. That means I have him for eight more days, less if you count the last day and New Year’s Eve and Day. We haven’t had that discussion yet.

“Hello,” I yell when Sylvia doesn’t come in.

“The door’s locked.” She doesn’t sound pleased.

“Oh, sorry.” I jump out of bed and run to open the door.

Sylvia’s leaning against the doorframe, a disgruntled look on her face.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“I don’t know. You tell me,” she says.

I stand back and beckon her into the room. She sniffs the air, and her frown deepens even more. I can tell what she smells. The scent of spunk and sweat is heavy.

“You’ve had someone here,” she says.

I nod. “Jack.”

“Jack? From the shelter?”

“Yeah. We went out for a drink last night, and then he came round here today. Is that a problem?” I know my voice is sharp, but I’m not sure why she’s bitching.

“You think it’s acceptable to bring men back here to my mother’s home?” She scowls at me.

I stare at her for a moment. “You think I’m charging Jack to fuck?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“That’s what you meant, though, isn’t it?”

She coughs and looks away.

“Be honest. I have a friend back and the first thing you think of is that I’m hustling him.”

“I… well, are you?” she asks, going on the offensive.

I shake my head. “I haven’t broken any of your mother’s rules. If you don’t believe me, ask Mary.” I can see she doesn’t look convinced. “Look, it’s too late now. I’ll leave in the morning.”

“I’m not kicking you out,” Sylvia says quickly.

“You don’t trust me. Thanks for letting me stay whilst I was ill, but I’m not staying where I’m not wanted. Now, if that’s all…?” I fold my arms and make it clear she’s not welcome anymore.

“I do trust you,” she says as I herd her out of the room.

“No, you don’t. Good night.” I shut the door in her face and deliberately lock it.

I climb back into bed and stare up at the ceiling. Once again I’m facing eviction, and this time I curse myself for letting my guard down. The clock on the bedside table projects onto the ceiling. The minutes pass slowly. At 3:00 a.m. I give up trying to sleep and get up to make myself a hot chocolate.