The Space Beyond (The Book of Phoenix) (6 page)

His eyes traveled from face to face, but lingered on mine the longest.

“It’s time for you to go out on missions,” Mira clarified, and I wondered if she and Leni were conspiring against me. All of them, actually.

“What a coincidence,” Leni said. “That’s what we wanted to talk about. How, exactly, do missions work?”

Melinda leaned forward in her chair and folded her hands together on top of the table. “You go out into the world, and your souls will lead you to your target—a soul that’s very close to going Dark.”

“And how do we know?” Brock asked.

“There are usually Lakari nearby,” she said, “shadowing the person with their Dark presence, sometimes even influencing their decisions. Usually they wait for the body to die to take the soul, but they’re known to murder, especially if it serves another purpose for Enyxa.”

“And they’re all Broken?” Leni asked. “Separated Twin Flames?”

Uri shook his head. “Not necessarily. Some are single souls who are almost completely Dark. Besides Broken Twin Flames, they’re the souls the Lakari are interested in, and the ones you must help, if you can.”

“You may find a Broken or Lost soul, though,” Melinda said. “And if you do, if you get any indication at all, you need to help it. Broken Twin Flames go Dark faster than other souls because of the pain and despair they feel. It only takes them two or three lives before it’s too late. Lost souls go even faster, because their other half, whether a Twin Flame or their soul mate, has already gone Dark.”

“So how do we help them?” Asia asked.

“If they’re not Broken or Lost, you keep the Lakari in check,” Uri replied. “They feed off of souls that are tainted with Darkness, especially when the physical body is dying, but that doesn’t mean they’ll get the soul in the end. We always have free will, so it’s up to the soul itself. But the Lakari try to give them more Darkness, pulling the soul their way.”

“Like they did with you, Jeric,” Leni said. “Right before we were Forged.”

“Yes,” Mira confirmed.

“If the soul is Dark enough, it may deny the Light and choose to go with the Lakari, and there’s nothing you can do about that,” Uri continued. “But if the Lakari attack, or try to take souls against their will, then you can act. Then you can fight them.”

“That’s it?” Brock asked, and I understood his disappointment. All of the buildup of our powers and everything, and all we had to do was scare off the Lakari, maybe fight once in a while?

“That’s it for most souls, but your greatest concern is always the Broken and the Lost,” Melinda said. “That’s who you need to search for and to help. They’re definitely more difficult because you have to try to convince them that there’s a reason for their misery. If they’re on their third or more life since their Separation, they won’t take as much convincing. They’ll be desperate and pretty Dark. It may take a few weeks or months, but eventually, they’ll do whatever it takes and will agree to come here with you. And then we escort their soul to the Gate so they can meet their other half or at least find solace in the Space Between.”

“Okay,” Leni said, a little too cheerfully for my liking, “so how do we get a mission?”

“If we know of a Broken soul and don’t have dyads available, we’ll assign a mission to those who are here on Gate duty,” Melinda said. “But usually, you go out and discover your own mission. You, Jacquelena, are supposed to be especially adept at that.”

“Damn it,” I muttered. Were they all in on the conspiracy against me? I’d stayed quiet through all of this, letting them clear the air, while hoping the whole time Melinda and Uri would say only more experienced Guardians went out on missions. I knew deep down that didn’t make sense, since “experienced” was a relative term here. Guardians were lucky to survive three or four missions in a life.

“That’s what I needed to hear,” Leni said. “We think we have our first mission.”

“This really was perfect timing,” Theo said. “We were just telling Melinda and Uri that it was time for you to leave the manor and seek out your first one.”

“We’re not ready, though,” I growled, no longer able to hold it back. If I had my way, we’d never be ready. Because missions meant danger and danger meant Leni’s life would be at risk and just the thought of that killed me. I relived Jacey’s death every night in my dreams. I would not watch her die again.

“You are,” Theo insisted. “But you will only believe it once you are out there, living the life of a Guardian. You won’t have a choice but to be ready to fight—or to die.”

“Exactly,” I muttered. “So we’re supposed to go out there and find a soul when we don’t even know where or who it is?”

“It’s not too difficult to find the single souls on the verge of Darkness, especially in this day and age,” Mira said.

She meant those souls who had repeatedly refused to acknowledge their soul mate or their soul mate had refused to acknowledge them. Or they’ve gone to different worlds, and may never be on the same one at the same time. After several life cycles of never finding the soul created especially for theirs, despair and depression set in, worsening with each life, until the soul becomes completely hopeless. That’s when they’re at risk of choosing to go Dark permanently, which was when the Lakari could conquer and take the soul to Enyxa. See—I’d learned a lot. Still didn’t mean I felt ready to put it all into practice.

“You have Leni’s camper, so you already have a place to live,” Mira continued, taking their argument in a different direction. “That’s one thing you don’t need to worry about. And if you need to travel, you can take the camper with you. A perfect setup for Guardians.”

She was appealing to my logical side. She knew me too well. More than I cared for. It aggravated me even more.

“We don’t think you’ll need to, though,” Uri said. “According to recent Guardian reports, there seems to be Lakari activity in Lake Haven, the town where Leni’s camper sits right now.”

I stood with such force, my chair fell backwards, and I leaned over the table, right in front of Mira and Theo.

“You’re putting Leni’s—and my—life at risk because it’s
convenient
?” I seethed.

Mira glared back at me. “
You
may have brought them to the soul they’re swarming.”

The accusation—and the feeling of responsibility—tightened my throat. “Only because you disappeared with no answers or instructions! If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s yours and Theo’s. And anyone else who refused to help us out.”

That last bit had been for everyone else in the room, who had all known Leni and I had been struggling and could have used their help. Supposedly nobody was allowed to give it—we had to figure out everything on our own because that would somehow make us better Guardians. Funny how we were supposed to help other souls avoid exactly what we were forced to face on our own.

“You can’t live here forever, Jeric,” Mira said. “It’s time you do your job.”

“We’ll do it when we’re prepared!” I barked as I leaned closer. I had to give her props for not moving away or even flinching.

“You will never be fully prepared as long as you don’t
believe
,” she bit back. “That’s the only place you’re lacking, Jeremicah. Believing is your fuel for everything. Melinda and Uri can heal you because they
believe
they can. They trust in themselves, in their former selves, in everything they know in their souls. Our warriors fight so well because they
believe
they can. They are faster and stronger because they always have been, in every life, just as you always have been. When you fought the Lakari on your way here, you
believed
in your abilities. You believed in Leni’s ability to jump over their heads and run up the side of a building. You believed she could break the glass and the two of you could jump from eight stories high because you’d done it before, countless times. It’s been proven to you over and over. You only have to trust in what you already know in your soul.”

My nostrils flared as I glared at her, refusing to admit she was right about it all. Believing in all this mumbo-jumbo-crazy-ass-supernatural-sci-fi shit wasn’t exactly easy.

“Jeric, we can do this.” Leni had risen to her feet next to me, and her small hand gripped mine. “We
need
to do it.”

My jaw popped as I clenched it, but I kept any further fuming to myself. Didn’t she get that she was all I cared about? Okay, maybe not
all
I cared about—I wasn’t that much of a douche. But she was definitely all I needed. To have her safe by my side or in my arms was more important to me than anything.

“And I’m going with or without you,” she added. I suppressed a growl.

“So are we,” Asia said. “We’ll figure it out, Jeric. We’re strong, remember? The strongest of them all.”

“You’ll have each other,” Melinda said. “When you find Lakari swarming, take up residence and make yourselves a part of the community where they’re hunting. You may need to get to know the people so you can find out who’s going Dark, especially if Leni’s senses don’t pick it up right away.”

“And be careful with small towns,” Uri warned. “They make things more difficult. It’s always best for one pair to go in first, while the other hangs back for a while. If the Lakari suspect an influx of Guardians in the area, they might jump the gun and swoop in on the soul before you even know who it is.”

“We can do this,” Leni said confidently.

“I still don’t like it,” I muttered.

Leni squeezed my hand again. “We chose this, remember? It’s time to step up and make ourselves useful. And like I said, I’m doing it with or without you … but I’d much rather with you.”

I cut my eyes down to her and huffed my breath through my nose like a bull. The woman was stubborn. And a pain in my ass. And would always get her way when it came to me. No fuckin’ way would I let her go out on her own.

“Remember to
believe
, Jeremicah,” Mira called after me as we headed for the door.

I’d remember. I really had no choice now, did I? I had to believe in our abilities if I was going to keep Leni from getting herself killed. The silver lining: At least we were getting away from everyone’s stupid expectations and judgmental glares here at the manor.

Chapter 6

As we prepared to leave the manor for the first time in months, the only thing that had me doubting this decision was that the mission pulled us away from the Gate … and possibly from Nathayden. We were setting out to hopefully find Rebethannah, but what if she was near here, and that’s why Nathayden contacted us, and now we were traveling hundreds of miles away? What if she was in the Gate, too? For all we knew, she wasn’t even on our world.

I didn’t know if my instinct told me one way or the other. Not something I’d admit to Jeric, especially not right now, because when needed, my intuition had been loud and clear for us. I didn’t have that strong pull right now that told me what to do. Options bounced around in my mind, but I didn’t know if my preference was by instinct or mere desire. I wanted to get away from the manor. I wanted to prove to myself and to Jeric—and to everyone else—that we were ready to be the warriors and the leaders we were meant to be. I
wanted
to do a mission more than I’d wanted almost anything since we’d been here. I just hoped this strong desire was truly my intuition.

And I hoped we’d somehow be able to help Rebethannah and Nathayden.

“You really
believe
we know what we’re doing?” Jeric asked as we packed our few belongings, the sarcasm dripping over Mira’s favorite word.

“Of course,” I said, sounding more confident than I felt. I still had it—the ability to mask my true feelings. Jeric stopped shoving clothes into his bag and eyed me. Okay, so hiding feelings from him was basically impossible, since he could pretty much feel them, too. He turned toward me and placed his hands on his hips.

“Don’t lie to me,” he growled.

“We can do this,” I said.

He took a step toward me, and I backed away from his predatory advance. Another step had him right in front of me again, and another of my own steps backward had me pressed against the wall. Each of his hands landed on the wall next to my face, and he leaned his head in so close, I could see every speck of indigo in his royal blue eyes. His warm breath fell on my lips, followed by his gaze. His eyes slowly lifted to mine.

“I will follow you into the dark,” he said, his voice low and edgy. “I will do anything for you, babe. Just know that if anything happens to you, it will destroy me.”

“Jeric,” I murmured as I placed my palms on his narrow hips and slid them up to his chest, where I fisted his shirt in my hands and pulled him even closer, “if you can’t believe in anything else, at least believe in
us
.”

His eyes bore into mine as he considered my meaning, then his gaze dropped to my lips again before sliding back up. When his eyes reached mine, he nodded slightly. Then he crushed his mouth against me, taking me under with a kiss full of urgency and passion and life itself. I parted my lips, his tongue thrust inside, and I met it with my own. My hands released his shirt and slid up his pronounced pecs to his tense shoulders and neck and into his hair, while one of his slid down my side, over my hip and to my thigh. He hitched my leg up, and I wrapped both around his waist as he pressed his erection against me and ground his hips. I had to lean my head away to catch a breath, and his lips traveled south, over my chin, down my neck, and to my collarbone, while his pelvis continued grinding out a rhythm. When he hit just the right spot, I moaned with pleasure.

“I believe in us,” Jeric panted against my chest. “More than I believe in anything in this world. I
really
believe in us when we’re naked, though.”

He thrust against me again, but harder this time, as though we were already naked, and I cried out more loudly. His hands grasped my waist, and his fingers dug into my hips as he stepped away from the wall with my legs still wrapped around him. He turned and leaned forward, and we crashed onto the bed. Our hands desperately tugged at our clothes while our mouths refused to separate unless absolutely necessary. My top was off and his shirt was on the floor and his jeans fly undone when both of our phones rang with a text message. Jeric moaned into my mouth before we extricated ourselves to find our phones.

Brock: “Ride’s here.”

“We can believe in us as soon as we’re settled into the camper,” I promised Jeric before giving him one more lingering kiss. His fingers caressed the bare skin over my ribs before pulling the cup of my bra down so that my breast sprang free. He wrapped his mouth around the tip and swirled his tongue around my nipple before drawing it between his teeth so that it stood hard and tight, making me ache for more.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he said huskily before tucking my boob back into my bra and grasping my hand to pull me to my feet. His hand cupped an ass cheek and squeezed. “Because I’m going to believe you in every way I can, including ways you’ve never been believed before until the whole damn RV park knows just how hard I can believe.”

“That’s all I ask for,” I teased with his own double entendre.

He threw my top at me. “Put this on before I say fuck them and believe you right here and now.”

“Admit it,” I said with a smile as I pulled the shirt over my head, “you’re glad to be getting away.”

He admitted no such thing, but I could feel his relief as though it were my own. What happened to his Marine brothers and Jacey when he was Micah and then with his sister and parents earlier in this life had really screwed him up. Although I hadn’t recalled everything from our past lives, I was certain Jeremicah had always been more cautious than me. Always someone who wanted to gather as much intelligence as possible and then analyze it from every angle before moving forward. But at some point, armed with his data and my intuition, he’d make a decision and recruit whatever comrades we had at the time. He enjoyed strategizing with them, and then leading us where we needed to go. He also always loved celebrating victories with them. Now, he wanted nothing to do with anyone but me. He was scared. And now I knew of what.

The realization hit me like a smack in the forehead: His life as Micah hadn’t started it all. It wasn’t what happened to Jacey or his sister in this life that sparked his fear. It went back further, to our Separation in the life before. When our single Bonded soul had been ripped from our body and torn into two. When we became Twin Flames. He
did
believe in us, and that’s what he was so afraid of losing.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and blinked away the sting in my eyes as I retrieved our things from the bathroom. I had to take a few deep breaths before returning to his side. We tossed the rest of our belongings into our bags and hurried downstairs where Brock and Asia already waited in a newer model yellow Camaro. Asia hopped out of the front seat when she saw us and climbed into the back. When I squeezed in after her, I immediately knew Jeric would have never fit back here.

“You brought the Book, right?” Asia asked as Brock put the car into gear.

I patted the bag on my lap. “Of course.”

With that, Brock slammed on the gas pedal, and we took off, out of Tampa and toward the Georgia state line.

“So we agree that our mission is to find Rebethannah?” I asked once we were on I-75.

“Brock and I were talking about it while waiting on you guys. Since you already have your camper set up in Lake Haven, maybe you guys can go into town and see if there really are Lakari hanging around there while we find a place to stay.”

“Good idea. We’ll probably need a few days to settle in and figure things out,” I said.

“And Lake Haven’s a small town, right?” Asia asked. “Which means we’ll need to hang back anyway.”

“I don’t get that,” I said. “How are you supposed to help if you’re not right there?”

“Oh, we won’t be far,” Asia promised. “Trust me. Besides, that’s only if we have to stay at Lake Haven, which we might not. Maybe the Guardians were wrong or the Lakari have moved on by now.”

“If we’re lucky,” Jeric muttered, his first contribution to the conversation.

“We’re the best of the best,” Brock said. “Don’t worry so much, man. As corny as Mira made it sound, she was right about believing. Any special gifts and inhuman abilities are already there—you just have to trust in them. And believe yourself.”

Jeric snorted, and I suppressed my own laughter at the euphemism we’d been using earlier. Brock took it the wrong way, though.

“Dude, it’s in your hands,” he said, and this time neither of us could hold back the laugh. This only frustrated him more, and he huffed out a breath. “Fine. Believe whatever the hell you want. But at some point, you’ll see that I’m right. When your life’s on the line, you’ll be believing me so hard you’ll be screaming my name.”

“That’ll
never
happen,” Jeric choked out, and both of us howled with laughter.

Asia eyed us with bewilderment, and Brock scowled.

“Screw you both,” he muttered, and Jeric and I lost any control we’d had.

We spent the rest of the drive trying to convince Brock that we weren’t laughing at him nor saying we’d never trust him. Eventually, we had to let them both in on our silly little joke before we lost them completely as comrades.

“Ahhh, I get it,” Brock said with exaggerated enthusiasm. “And by the way, Jeric, believe you to hell and back.”

“Fuck you, too, dude,” Jeric replied.

When we pulled into the small RV park and I saw my old red truck parked next to my Airstream, nostalgia hit me hard. Life had been so confusing when we’d been here, but in a way, so much simpler. We’d discovered each other on several different levels and even had our first fight here. So much had happened in the two days we’d been stranded at this campground. Now, we were entirely different people.

Brock and Asia didn’t hang around after dropping us off, and we hadn’t even reached the door to my camper when a white cat streaked over and rubbed against my legs.

“Ghost?” I asked with disbelief as I picked up the cat and nuzzled my face against his soft fur. “I can’t believe you’re still here.”

“He looks to be well fed,” Jeric pointed out as he opened the camper door.

As soon as we walked in, the nostalgia disappeared, replaced by content. This was home. More “home” than anywhere else we had anymore, because neither of us really felt at home at the manor. Jeric had only stayed in this camper a few nights with me, but I could feel his appreciation for the sense of familiarity, too. Seeing my tie-dyed curtains and multicolored collection of pillows, the funky décor all over the interior, I realized I wasn’t really an
entirely
different person. I was still me, just … more.

Jeric dropped our bags in the middle of the floor, grabbed my wrists, and pulled me into him.

“Now?” he asked, his lips already against my neck.

I giggled. “I said when we’re settled. We need to go into town, get some groceries, maybe even scope things out and see if there are any Lakari around.”

He lifted his head to eye me and must have seen I was serious because he groaned. “You’re killing me, babe. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since my shower this morning.”

My lips twisted in a smirk. “I call your bullshit. If you’d been thinking about me, you wouldn’t have gotten so pissy with everyone.”

“I got so
pissy
with everyone, which, by the way, I hate that word. Girls get pissy. Not dudes. But I lost my cool because I
was
thinking about you. Just in a different way. But the other way is always in the back of my mind, too.” His eyes lit up again, and I didn’t have to wonder what he was thinking about this very moment. I debated giving in, but decided it wouldn’t kill either of us to wait. Patience only came with practice.

“The sooner we go, the sooner we can get back so you can believe me all night long.”

He must have liked the sound of this, because he reluctantly gave in, and we made a list for the store. When we headed out, my truck started up right away, and I gave her a pat on the dashboard.

“Good to see you, too, girl,” I said. Jeric quirked an eyebrow, but I ignored him.

When we’d been here before, my truck had been in the mechanic’s bay at the truck stop across the two-lane highway, so we’d never made it into the nearby town of Lake Haven. The diner, bar, and convenience store had provided our sustenance. So although we’d seen people around the RV park and over at the bar, I didn’t expect anyone would remember two strangers who’d spent a couple of days outside of town a few months ago.

I forgot about dancing the bull and the fight that came after. Well, not a fight really, since Jeric had one-hit the dude and knocked him out before carrying me over his shoulder out the door. Apparently, we’d made an impression, although they probably only remembered our faces. Any details of our actual existences had been wiped out.

“Hey,” said almost everyone whose paths we crossed after we parked on Central Street and walked around a little. They all gave us a welcome smile. The younger people, anyway, and all of the men. Some of the older women, all dressed up with lipstick and everything, smiled, but their grins weren’t very welcoming. Guess they heard about my dance and didn’t approve. I didn’t care what they thought. Except hearts like that were easy prey for Lakari. Maybe one of these old uppity women was their target.

“Have you seen any Lakari?” Jeric asked.

“I don’t feel them specifically, but I do feel a lot of Darkness. Don’t you?”

He answered with a harrumph while I glanced around the businesses lining Central Street, which intersected with 1
st
Street, the other main drag. It was the middle of a weekday, so activity was probably at its peak. There was one dude down the street, standing in the doorway of a business, who didn’t seem to fit in. A little squirrely looking. When I saw that the business was an insurance agency, though, I dismissed him.

“If they’re here, they’ll probably be out at night,” I said. “That seems to be their preferred time of day. So I guess that’s when we come out, too, to see where they gather.”

“You promised
me
tonight,” Jeric reminded me as he took my hand.