The Spy Is Cast (2 page)

One dark suit, white
shirt, quiet tie. One military uniform, loaded with braid.

Oh, shit.

When I stepped
cautiously into the room, both men rose. Neither was as tall as
Spider’s beanpole six-foot-two, but they shared an almost-palpable
air of authority. While Spider made the introductions, I assessed
them, trying to figure out what this was all about.

“General Briggs, I’d
like you to meet Ms. Aydan Kelly,” Spider mumbled without making
eye contact. The general stepped forward, stretching out his hand,
and I received a firm dry handshake.

He was a fit-looking
man with piercing blue eyes, his short grey hair in a precise cut.
His seamed face gave the impression of too much time outdoors
rather than advancing age. I placed him in his late fifties at a
guess. His ramrod-straight posture made him seem tall, but in fact
he stood only about an inch taller than my five-foot-ten.

“And this is Mr.
Charles Stemp,” Spider introduced the other man. Stemp extended his
hand, too, his movements as sinuous as a snake. He looked fit as
well, and very tanned. His short-cropped sandy hair was almost the
same colour as his skin and his eyes were an odd shade of light
brown, almost amber. His monochrome colouring and flat
expressionless eyes reminded me of a rattlesnake. Jeez. No wonder
Spider was nervous.

“Mr. Stemp is the
civilian director of our INSET team,” Spider explained, referring
to the counter-terrorism unit to which he and Kane ostensibly
belonged. “General Briggs is Kane’s commanding officer.”

That was where things
got a little more complicated. In lighter moments, I had nicknamed
Kane ‘James Bond’.

Spider drew me further
into the room. “Have a seat,” he invited.

I perched warily,
wondering why the big guns were here. The others resumed their
seats as well.

“Ms. Kelly,” the
general began. “So nice to meet you at last.”

I wasn’t quite sure
how to respond to that, so I put on my best pleasant smile. “It’s
nice to meet you, too, General Briggs.”

“Thank you for meeting
with us on such short notice,” he continued. “This meeting is
rather overdue, and I apologize for the long delay. Our country
owes you a debt of gratitude, and we would both like to offer you a
sincere thank you for your assistance in March. Your bravery and
self-sacrifice did not go unnoticed.”

I squirmed. “I
appreciate the kind words, but I didn’t really do anything. I was a
dumb civilian in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m just glad
everything worked out all right.”

The general’s eyes
bored into me. “I read the reports. I beg to differ. You uncovered
a potentially disastrous security breach. You withstood torture to
protect our national security. You saved the life of one of our top
agents.”

I shook my head. “It
sounds good when you say it like that, but really, it was your team
who pulled it all out of the fire. I was just along for the
ride.”

He smiled. “That may
be true, but the entire operation would have failed without your
unique talents.”

“The whole thing was
pure dumb luck on my part,” I muttered. “Your team did all the
work.”

“I’m glad you’re loyal
to the team,” Stemp said, his voice betraying no emotion
whatsoever. “How would you like to help them again?”

Warning bells
clamoured in my brain. “Help them how, exactly?” I asked
slowly.

“We are chronically
understaffed,” the general explained. “We have a situation in which
a female agent is required, and we have none currently available.
The mission would entail almost no risk. In fact, you would
probably find it quite enjoyable. We thought of you because of your
excellent performance this spring, and because you already have the
sufficient security clearances.”

I hid my surprise and
suspicion in a casual tone. “When did that happen? I’m just a
bookkeeper. A civilian. I don’t recall doing any applications for
security clearances.”

“You were thoroughly
investigated in March,” Stemp replied. “And your knowledge of our
secured facilities and clandestine activities in effect gives you a
top-level clearance. You already know more than many of our
agents.”

“Oh.” I attempted to
rub the frown away from my forehead. “Exactly what do you want me
to do?”

“John Kane will be
attending a formal function in Calgary the day after tomorrow.”
General Briggs picked up the narrative. “While there, he will be
researching the layout and security of the venue in which it is
held. A man doing this alone would be too obvious. He needs a
female companion to attend with him.” The general gave me an
encouraging smile. “I’m told the food and entertainment will be
quite magnificent.”

“I’m not sure Kane
would want me tagging along,” I objected. “I don’t have the first
clue about spy stuff. I’d probably put him in danger just through
my own ignorance.”

“You would be fully
briefed, of course,” Stemp said. “We would also compensate you for
your time. And there would be an allowance for your wardrobe and
accessories for the event.” He added that last bit as though it was
an irresistible inducement.

I did my best to
control my face. He really thought I’d want to go if he bought me a
new dress. Poor deluded man. Little did he know I’d happily pay him
if he’d let me go in jeans and a sweatshirt.

I shrugged. “If Kane
thinks it’s a good idea, I’ll go with him. I’ll help if I can. But
if he thinks he’d be better off without me, then I don’t want to be
foisted on him.”

“Excellent.” The
general nodded with obvious satisfaction. “Please come here for
your briefing tomorrow morning at ten o’clock. You should be
prepared to leave for Calgary immediately afterward so that you
have time to purchase whatever you need for the following evening.”
He rose. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Ms. Kelly.”

I recognized a
dismissal when I heard it. I got up and shook hands again with him
and Stemp, and turned to leave the room.

“I’ll see you out,”
Spider said, his first words since the introductions. We went down
the hall together, and he followed me out onto the front step.

“What the hell,
Spider?” I demanded. “Those two big brasses came here just to blow
sunshine up my ass and ask me on a date? I don’t think so. What’s
really going on?”

He shook his head.
“Later.”

“Will they be here for
the briefing tomorrow?” I asked.

“Yes.” He regarded me
tensely, and I could see I wouldn’t get anything more out of
him.

“Okay.” I sighed. “See
you tomorrow at ten. Do I have to dress up again?”

“Yes.”

I had just slid behind
the wheel of my car when my cellphone rang. I swore as I rummaged
through the unaccustomed handbag, and managed to snatch out the
phone to punch the talk button before the caller went to
voicemail.

The female voice on
the other end sounded vaguely familiar. “Hi, is this Aydan
Kelly?”

“Speaking.”

“Hi, Aydan, it’s Linda
Burton calling.”

I shuffled rapidly
through my mental files and came up empty. She continued quickly,
“You probably don’t remember me. I’m a nurse at the hospital. We
met back in March…”

“Oh!” I interrupted.
“Sorry, of course I remember you, Linda. How are you?”

“I’m… actually a
little desperate.”

“Oh…?”

“I saw your card
tacked up on the bulletin board in the post office. You’re a
bookkeeper, aren’t you?”

I felt my shoulders
relax. “Yes.”

“Are you taking on new
clients?”

I sat up a little
straighter. “Yes! Do you need help?”

I heard a whoosh of
breath at the other end. “Yes!” she replied gratefully. “I own a
business with my grandmother. We’ve been trying to do our own books
for the last few months, and we just can’t handle it anymore. When
can you meet? The sooner the better!”

I shot a satisfied
glance down at my clothes. For once in my life, I was appropriately
dressed for a meeting on short notice. “Do you have time right now?
I just happen to be in town.”

“Oh, yes! Let’s meet
for coffee at the Melted Spoon. Granny and I can be there in ten
minutes.”

“Sounds good. See you
there.” I hung up, feeling smug.

When I strolled into
the tiny café a few minutes later, the mouth-watering smell of
fresh-ground coffee filled my senses. I perused the menu board,
impressed at the number of espresso variations. While I waited, the
counter clerk passed a steaming grilled panini sandwich to a
customer, the sharp smell of roasted peppers mingling with the
coffee scent.

I chose an herbal tea
and sat down at a vacant table to wait for Linda and her
grandmother. Minutes later, they arrived, Linda as perky and petite
as I remembered. The woman who accompanied her was tiny and
delicate, and I could see a family resemblance in the fine bone
structure. Her spun-sugar white hair and pink ruffled blouse made
her look like a porcelain old-lady doll.

Linda waved hello, and
they went to the counter to order their beverages. When they
returned, I got a whiff of caramel from Linda’s latte. Her
grandmother carried a demitasse of what looked like black tar. The
almost-scorched smell of espresso overpowered my herbal tea
completely.

Linda made the
introductions. “Granny Ives, this is Aydan Kelly. Aydan, Granny
Ives.”

“Lola,” her
grandmother corrected, reaching over to shake hands. Her voice was
throaty, sounding larger than I’d expected from such a tiny
woman.

“It’s nice to meet
you,” I greeted her. “Linda mentioned the two of you were in
business together, but we didn’t talk details. Why don’t you give
me an overview?”

“We’ve had the
business for about four years now,” Lola told me. “We sell online,
and the phone service is profitable as well.”

“We’re also trying to
get started with a POS program,” Linda put in.

“By POS, I presume you
mean ‘Point of Sale’,” I said.

Delicate little Granny
Lola snorted. “No, when I say POS, I mean ‘Piece of Shit’.”

I laughed out loud. I
had a feeling I was going to like Lola.

“It’s been nothing but
trouble, and it’s still not working right,” she continued. “We’re
trying to get it to talk to our accounting program to bring the
sales totals in automatically, and it won’t play nice.”

“Well, it sounds like
I need to take a look at it,” I said. “I’ve persuaded a POS or two
to cooperate in my time. Sometimes all you need is a bigger
stick.”

Lola and Linda
exchanged glances and laughed. “Oh, we have no shortage of big
sticks,” Linda assured me impishly.

“What’s the name of
your business, and where are you located?” I asked.

“Our business is
called Up & Coming. We’re just around the corner in the
mini-mall. Do you want to walk over and have a look at the
system?”

“Sure,” I agreed.
“Let’s go.”

We chatted easily
during the short walk. Linda and I had hit it off at the hospital
when we’d first met, and I was already enjoying Lola’s audacious
attitude.

We strolled up to the
mini-mall and inside the enclosed breezeway, visiting like old
friends. Linda removed a ‘Back in ½ hour’ sign from the storefront
and unlocked the door for us. I stepped inside, involved in
conversation with Lola, before glancing around the store for the
first time.

I burst out laughing.
It was a sex shop.

“’Up & Coming’?
You’ve got to be kidding me!” I chortled. “In a small town like
this? Where everybody knows what everybody else is doing?”

“Everybody knows who
everybody else is doing, too,” Lola said slyly. “Actually, we do a
booming business in mail order. We route our deliveries through
Toronto in plain brown wrappers. But you’d be surprised how many
people just walk in.”

I gazed around. “My
God, please tell me somebody left their thermos on the shelf by
accident,” I said, pointing to a black monolith.

“That’s ‘Big John the
Wonder Horse’. People usually buy him as a gag gift,” Linda said.
“I think,” she added doubtfully.

“We’ve got a great
selection of products,” Lola said. “Lingerie over here, toys and
electronics there, books and videos on that wall, flavoured
products over here…” She pointed out each section. “And we’re
getting some excellent new things, too,” she enthused. “We’ve just
gotten a line of body pillows and furniture.”

She reached up to a
shelf and lifted down a body pillow, standing it up beside her.
Sure enough, the label read ‘Bawdy Pillow’. It was an enormous
stuffed penis, almost as tall as she was.

I snickered. “Reminds
me of my ex-husband.”

“Why, was he
well-endowed?” Lola asked, bouncing her eyebrows suggestively.

“No, he was a big
prick,” I deadpanned to their guffaws. I reached over and poked the
pillow. “It’s a little soft for my taste.”

“Oh, I can fix that,”
Linda giggled. She reached over and activated a switch at the base
of the pillow. The penis gradually stiffened and straightened up.
“It’s got an air bladder and a compressor in it,” she explained
over my howls of laughter.

I eyed the rest of the
‘Bawdy Pillow’ line, still giggling. “I bet the boob cushions are
popular. Do you sell them in pairs?”

“Sometimes in
triples.” Lola bounced her eyebrows again.

I flung up my hands in
surrender. “Too much information. So don’t tell me, let me guess.
Your bookkeeper moved away in December, and the remaining one
doesn’t want your business.”

“How did you know?”
Linda demanded.

“I took over doing the
books for Blue Eddy’s Saloon in March. Your strait-laced bookkeeper
doesn’t want his business either. Are there any other dens of
iniquity where I should visit and drop off a business card?”

“You’ve gotta admit,
we’re more fun than a church picnic,” Lola said with satisfaction.
A phone rang in the back room. “Oh, that’s my 1-900 line, I’ve
gotta go.” She hurried into the back and I heard her pick up the
phone. “Hi, honey, this is Lola,” she purred in her throaty voice.
“Guess what I’m wearing.”