The Valkyrie (17 page)

“How did you
like your first taste of open warfare Bea?” Liberty asked placing
her calligraphy pen down and stretching the cramp out of her
hand.

“It was most
enlightening even if it was only a small border skirmish. I’m
enjoying all this war planning.” Bea said pulling up a chair.

“I’m going to
go for a run.” Glory said.

“Are you
actually?” Liberty asked.

“Of course
not.” Glory said ruffling Liberty’s hair as she walked out of the
kitchen to change into her trainers. “Don’t wait up for me.”

“Don’t worry I
won’t. Love you.” Liberty said, resuming her task.

“Love you more
bitch.” Glory put on her fluorescent yellow Nikes and left the
house. She turned right towards the main road and started off at a
quick pace. She couldn’t be around all that wedding paraphernalia.
Once on the high street she stopped running and found a bench to
sit down on. It was outside a Chicken Cottage so she took the
opportunity to observe the mortals in their natural habitat. There
was a young woman standing outside the door trying to stop
passers-by with leaflets. The mortals weren’t interested in taking
them. One man even laughed in her face to which the girl remained
stoical. In a rare moment Glory felt compassion for the girl’s
stiff upper lip, so she got up and walked over to her.

“Excuse me can
I have one of those please?” Glory asked politely.

“Of course you
can.” the girl said handing one over to Glory. She was a little
overwhelmed by the sight of such a junoesque woman. “Grace awaits
us all, renounce sin and follow the light. Let Lucifer not tempt
you. I’m Jeanette and you will always be welcome at our church. The
directions are on the back. Hopefully I’ll see you on Sunday.”

“Thank you very
much.” Glory said as she sat down on the bench again with the
leaflet. She flicked through it: Heaven, Hell, light, God, Satan,
love, saviour, Jesus Christ, sin, pain, suffering, redemption,
forgiveness, peace, hope, angels, glory. What was she doing in
there? The drawings of angels amused her, there was no way that
Jeanette would be able to cope if Glory stretched her wings out.
She barely used them to be honest, she found them ostentatious and
besides she found driving more useful as there was always ketamine
in the glove compartment. Musing over the leaflet Glory thought
over and over again that she would never understand why most of the
mortals could ignore what was in plain sight and believe in this
omnigod. She reached into her pocket for an errant pill. Glory
found it almost difficult not to feel sympathy for this Satan
character. He sounded like your standard misunderstood anti-hero.
Glory had a weakness for anti-heroes.

***

Bea got up and
went to the fridge. She rifled around for a few seconds before she
found the ambrosia and poured herself and Liberty a tumbler. She
carried the two full glasses to the table and took the seat next to
Liberty.

“Oh lovely,
thank you.” Liberty said smiling warmly at Bea before drinking it
“I could do with a break.”

“That’s
alright.” Bea leaned in and kissed Liberty. “You are going to marry
him, but don’t fall in love with him.”

“What?” Liberty
breathed as she kissed Bea back. The haze of the last few days fell
away. In Bea’s hand was Eros’s love arrow. She crushed it with
little strength.

“You got shot.
These arrows are usually pretty impossible to remove.”

“I see.”
Liberty was left with the terrifying reality of having agreed to
marry a megalomaniac she couldn’t bear: a god who had a reputation
for going postal when it came to women breaking up. This fear began
to fall away when she became overpowered by something she’d never
quite felt before. Evidently Bea did not need to rely on Eros’s
arrows.

“Don’t worry
it’ll all work out in the end.” Bea said as she unbuttoned
Liberty’s shirt.

“Are you sure?”
Liberty asked. She was startled when the stairs creaked as Honour
came down.

“I’m going out
guys. See you later.” Honour said through the door before leaving
the house. She had been reading more tomes of military history and
was off to muse over the Italian defeat at the hands of the
Abyssinians.

“I promise.”
Bea said kissing Liberty’s neck. Bea and Liberty were home
alone.

Day two of KW2 was over and Glory, Honour
and Bea had all been informed by Liberty that they were expected to
attend Apollo’s gig, much to all their delight. Not that Liberty
was that excited about it either, she was merely keeping up
appearances as Bea had told her to. Apollo & The Muses were
headlining a grotty club in Dalston. It was literally – and
figuratively – underground: it was in the basement of a
hairdresser’s salon that seemed to specialise in making grown woman
look like mermaids with green, blue and pink hair. No one but the
coolest of cool kids even had an inkling that this place existed.
Even if they did know where it was, there was no way they were
getting past the monsterish bouncers. Liberty, Honour and Bea stood
outside the hairdresser’s together. Honour was finishing up her
Marlboro whilst Bea and Liberty chatted. Honour had noticed the
slightly flushed look on Liberty’s face but had put that down to
Apollo’s imminent arrival. Glory was pacing up and down the other
end of the street with her mobile glued to her ear.

“Hi there, I’m
trying to get through to Oberon. Could you pass me through to his
secretary please? No he’s not expecting me. It’s urgent. No I’m not
trying to flog him double glazing. My full name is Gloriana
Andraste Britannica, I’m his daughter Valour’s commanding officer.
Yes I’ll hold. Hello, hello, hello. Hi yes, Oberon I’m so sorry to
disturb you. No, I wasn’t aware that tonight was your bridge night.
I am tremendously sorry to disturb you but it’s important. My name
is Glory, I’m Valour’s commanding officer in Valkyrie Unit 401 and
I thought that I should let you know that two days ago she resigned
her post. No she hasn’t violated her contract or anything else for
that matter; we don’t have a compulsory notice period here except
for extraordinary cases. Look, I was ringing because, well, Val is
a friend of mine and since she rang to say that she’s leaving none
of us have managed to get through to her by any means. I thought I
should ring you and see whether you have spoken with her. You
haven’t. Oh alright. Yes you’re right she has got another boyfriend
but... well I never considered her to be particularly wayward. My
name, it’s Gloriana Andraste Britannica. Yes, she is my mother and
yes I am fully aware that she was an evil bitch. I hated her too.
Ok well enjoy your bridge.” Glory put her phone down. “What a
bellend.”

“Everything
alright over there?” Bea asked loudly, looking concernedly over at
Glory who being halfway down the street was just out of ear shot.
Glory came dashing back over.

“Yes, trying to
get a new bloody shield made but Wayland’s workshop is being a
total pain.” Glory said all smiles and swishing hair. She wasn’t
going to air her concerns to anyone until she had direct proof of
anything. Careless talk costs lives.

“Right shall we
go in then and get this over and done with?” Bea said starting
towards the entrance leading the other Valkyries in. This was a new
experience for Glory she hadn’t been led in anywhere by anyone else
for a good six hundred years, it made her uneasy even if only
subconsciously.

They squeezed
down the narrow steps heaving with beauties to what would have been
the servant’s entrance way back when having a servant was socially
acceptable. There was a small queue of super cute nymphs and wood
gods of various types already lined up. Heads turned when the
Valkyries walked past. Standing outside the door were two bouncers,
each was terrifying. They were more likely to eat wayward mortals
than to turn them away for wearing trainers.

Liberty walked
straight to the front of the queue. “We’re on the guest list.”

“Name?” the
troll with the clipboard asked.

“It’s Liberty,
Apollo put us down.”

“Four of you,
yeah? Alright go through.” the bouncer troll said pulling back the
red cord rope for Bea, Liberty and Honour.

“Wait a second,
you” the other bouncer, a Cyclopes, said pointing at Glory as she
stepped through the threshold “I know you. Any funny business
tonight and you’re barred. If you hadn’t been invited by Apollo I’d
search you. You’ve probably got half a kilo of coke shoved down
your knickers.”

“Stop thinking
about what’s in my underwear you pervert.” Glory said kissing the
Cyclopes on the cheek then flouncing into the dark club. She
stopped part way down in the darkness and swallowed a few pills
with a slosh of whiskey from her hip flask. As she pushed through
the swing doors at the bottom of the stairwell she was faced with a
nightmare disguised as a dream. Aphrodite was wearing stilettoes
and a scowl.

“So here you
are.” Aphrodite said, sizing Glory up.

“Yes, although
I doubt I’ll stay long.” Glory smiled as she waltzed past Aphrodite
straight to the bar. The bar was rammed as there were a
considerable number of maenads at the gig that night. The
practically edible barman was juggling martinis so she hopped over
the bar and made herself a dirty pint, took a swig and swallowed
some more pills. She recognised the barman but couldn’t remember
why. He gave her a stern but affectionate look as she did a sad
puppy face and handed him a fiver that she’d written her phone
number on. She clamoured back over the bar much to the
annoyance/admiration of the maenads who had
all
heard of
Glory. She spotted Honour being chatted up by Dionysius again so
she strolled over and put her arm around Dionysius neck.

“Well aren’t
you being friendly today.” Dionysius was surprised. Glory normally
emanated fuck off and die vibes.

“I’m as high as
a kite. How’s the booze business going? I keep seeing Alcoholics
Anonymous posters up and around Hackney, the bastards.” Glory said
remembering all the times she had been cautioned for being drunk
and disorderly by silly mortal policemen over the last year. She
managed to
persuade
them not to charge her, as of yet she
had managed to get away without turning them into pigeons although
she was always tempted when they told her that she might have a
problem. She knew she had a problem. She didn’t need a fucking
mortal to tell her that.

“You’re wasted
as Valkyrie.” Dionysius was tempted to make a move but he was still
working on Honour.

“Well you’re
wasted if nothing else.” Honour said a little giggly. She could
hardly talk.

“Where did
Liberty go?” Glory asked.

“I think she
went to the loos with Bea.” Honour said.

“Ah cool, I
need to put some make up on I look like shit. Dionysius, I’m
watching you.” Glory walked off towards the loos. Considering that
the only people allowed into the club were immortals there was no
need for actual loos. In reality it was a dingy room with mirrors
and empty cubicles where sometimes there was sex. Glory walked in
to a standoff. Bea and Liberty were standing on one side of the
room with Aphrodite standing closest to the door blocking the
exit.

“Well”
Aphrodite said over her shoulder to Glory with her hands on her
hips.

“Well?” Glory
said.

“You won’t
guess what I walked in on. What sort of unit are you running
Valkyrie?” smug Aphrodite said turning around facing Glory.

“Well honestly,
I’m only soberish for around a third of the time, so I sincerely
don’t know. Killing millions of mortals is hardly a difficult job
so I’m usually half cut.” Glory said.

“There’s
something desperately wrong with you. You can’t love romantically?”
Aphrodite faced Glory and peered into her eyes before asking “How
have I never noticed before?”

“Because you’re
bad at your job? Well I’m half-cut all the time and then it’s a
combination of two other factors. Firstly I tore out my emotions
and put them in a box. Secondly as I don’t have romantic emotions I
fuck like a guy so I have no regard for anyone else’s feelings
whatsoever. Did that answer your question?” Glory asked squaring up
to Aphrodite.

“You are never
serious are you?” Aphrodite had always been a little spellbound by
Glory. She felt she never quite lived up to her name in the way
that she easily could have, but something had changed about her.
This made Aphrodite nervous. She knew of the torch that Ares held
for Glory, but Glory had always been trapped in some sort of
recurring nightmare that never allowed her to fully blossom. It
looked like Glory had begun to wake up; this was bad news for
Aphrodite, she couldn’t bear to lose Ares.

“On the
contrary I’m deadly serious.” Glory pulled her knife out from
somewhere, no one knew where she could have been hiding that “Now
what did you want to say before I purposely side tracked you by
making crap up?”

“Nothing.”
Aphrodite said. She knew that Glory was mental but she had never
seen evidence of it before. She was known to throw a scene but even
Aphrodite hadn’t pulled a knife out on anyone. There were lines
that weren’t to be crossed and toying with shanking immortals was
tantamount to anarchy.

“Now if you say
anything about this to anyone I will flay your skin into a new
jacket. Wouldn’t that look pretty? Now swear on Styx bitch.” Glory
said.

“I swear on
Styx that I won’t repeat anything I’ve seen or heard in this loo.”
Aphrodite said.

“Good.” Glory
said and then she swooped on Aphrodite and kissed her. “I’ve always
wanted to know what you’d taste like: very disappointing, I always
thought that you were overrated. Now fuck off bitch.”

Aphrodite
swooned. The kiss had tasted like crack and it was glorious.
Aphrodite straightened her dress out and walked out of the loos
with as much composure as she could muster with a lady boner. As
she opened the door Glory saw Eros leaning against the wall half in
shadow, he shook his head at her. Glory gave him so much trouble.
He had noted however that Liberty was free of her arrow. He wasn’t
going to tell Apollo that but things were going to get interesting
around here.