The Valkyrie (24 page)

“And humble.”
Ares said. “Why did you fall out with your mother?” He was
pathologically interested in arguments and how they escalate.

“Waterloo.”
Glory said.

“Oh yeah that
thing about Napoleon. I forgot about that.” Liberty said spotting
Apollo out of the corner of her eye. “Darling.”

Apollo, who had
been checking his phone, came over and put his hand on Liberty’s
waist and kissed her on the forehead. “I think you need a drink
after that ordeal.” No one flinched.

“Gin please.”
Liberty said affecting the cute tone that she used to get her own
way. “Oh Glory, Hera asked for your phone number by the way.”

“You gave it to
her didn’t you? That’s alright.” Glory winked at Liberty who went
off to join Apollo at the bar. Glory turned to Ares “What is your
mother up to?”

“It’s probably
something to do with wedding planning.” Ares thought he’d better
check his phone as Hera had probably sent her critique of Glory. He
scrolled through his messages. Aphrodite had written a small essay
on why they should still be together and how she couldn’t live
without him. Nestled in between the crazy was Hera’s text. It
simply read: ‘Put a fucking ring on it!!!! I want legitimate
grandbabies!!! XXX Mummy’

Glory thought
she’d better check her phone as Hera had probably sent her critique
of the hen do plans as the invitations would have arrived by the
afternoon. She had a new message from Bea saying that they were on
their way, and one from Hera saying that ‘It was simply wonderful
meeting you today Glory and I am very much looking to forward to
getting to chat to you further at the hen party, Hera x.’ She had a
text from Apollo from three minutes ago asking to see her tonight.
Glory also had a message from Aphrodite, she wasn’t sure how she’d
got her number, ‘Please don’t, Aphro.’ was all it said.

“Your mother
put a kiss at the end of her text.” Glory said to Ares. She always
forgot how tall he was. He smelt good too.

“She isn’t
always a fireball throwing nutter. She’s quite nice most of the
time.” Ares reached out and played with Glory’s pearl drop
earring.

Liberty saw it
from across the pub. After her chat with her father the day before
she decided she'd try and delve a little deeper into how Glory was
connected to the war. She looked Apollo in the eye “Aren’t they
cute?”

“Who?” Apollo
asked.

“Ares and
Glory.” Liberty gestured to the unfolding scene.

“Yeah, they are
cute together.” Apollo pulled Liberty close.

“Hey guys.” It
was drizzling outside and Eros's hair was damp. There was a group
of three underage teenaged girls done up to the nines in the corner
drinking Malibu and coke. They all died inside when they saw Eros
all wet like Ryan Gosling in
The Notebook
.

“So what
happened to your mum today?” Liberty asked cutting to the
chase.

“She’s gone
bonkers.” Eros said. He didn’t know what to do.

***

Honour and Bea
arrived at The Queens Arms with a small procession of noisy
Valkyries following them. Dionysius was in his element. The pair
didn’t just rock up with their sisters in arms though; they also
turned up with the better looking half of Asgard’s gods. Thor,
Loki, Baldr and Magni followed them in. The poor teenaged girls in
the corner didn’t have a chance once they’d clapped eyes on Baldr
and Magni. The handsome pair strode off to talk to the young
virgins.

“The plan, so
the plan. The plan is a quick one here and then house party back at
ours.” Honour said lurching for the bar patting Glory on the head
on the way. Bea was lurking behind Honour chain smoking.

“What are you
having?” Geoff asked, having seen them enter. He wanted to tell Bea
off for smoking inside but he just knew it wasn’t worth the aggro.
Geoff wished that he’d taken on extra staff that night, but now it
looked like him and his new missus would get to go to Las Vegas in
the New Year after all. Loki and Apollo made swift eye contact over
the bar.

“Absolutely
everything, I’m having it all.” Bea said.

***

The foursome of
Asgardian gods came over to chat to Glory. Norse gods overall were
very good dressers. There was a nice range of knitwear going on and
some very well-manicured beards. Loki and Glory locked eyes for an
awkward nano-second.

“Baldr, nice
shoes.” Glory said.

“Thank you. I
got them from a small boutique in Stockholm.” Baldr said to which
Glory nodded in appreciation of the craftsmanship. They all started
talking in Old Norse which started to piss Ares off. It was a
concerted effort to exclude him from the conversation. He
particularly disliked Thor; Ares could tell he was keen on Glory.
The Olympians and the Norse lived in a perpetual state of uneasy
compromise.

Apollo was not
having a good night. The girl he loved was surrounded by the guy
she should have married, the guy who wanted to marry her now and an
accompanying boy band of Norse gods.

In all the
hubbub Liberty went over to say hi to Thor et al. After exchanging
pleasantries she dragged Glory off to the loos with her. They
stopped in the corridor and exchanged what the fuck do we do
faces.

“One of the
regulars out there had a packet of pork scratchings. I’ve never
smelt anything so amazing.” Glory said.

“How are they
going to fit in the house?” Liberty asked.

“It’s not like
we haven’t got shit to do tomorrow.”

“Have you
planned the fucking hen do?”

“Yes, it’s all
sorted. You’re going through with the wedding?”

“Yes.” Liberty
said resolutely.

“Ok.” Glory
gave Liberty a supporting nod. She wondered what Prometheus had
told Liberty last night that Liberty wasn’t telling her.

“So Thor, Loki
and Ares all here at the same time.” Liberty said probing
Glory.

“Loki is a
nonentity.” Glory remembered what had happened last week between
the two of them. “I’ve got to shake Thor soon anyway as that is
going absolutely nowhere and I’ve no fucking clue about Ares.”

“Did I hear
Thor’s voice round ours earlier in the week?” Liberty asked as
Glory backed into the loos.

“Yes, but they
didn’t fuck. He couldn’t get it up and then he ended up sulking.”
Aphrodite said. Liberty automatically turned around and went out
into the bar for back up. “If you don’t want Ares I’ll have him
back.”

“I don’t think
that’s how it works.” Glory said.

“Of course
that’s how it works. I’m in charge of how it works.” Aphrodite’s
shoulders heaved up and down as she tried not to sob audibly.

“There, there,
it’s not as bad as all that.” Glory patted Aphrodite on the
shoulder. Aphrodite in turn twisted around and fell onto Glory’s
chest and bawled.

“But it is, it
really is. Why don’t you love? No that’s not right, you do love.
You’re in love right now but I’ve no idea who with. I should know
that. It’s my whole being to know that. Your feelings of love are
there but they’re not here.” Aphrodite said putting her hand on
Glory’s chest and lingering.

***

Liberty
sprinted into the bar. Ares was talking very awkwardly to Apollo
and Thor. The other gods were enjoying the Valkyrie caused
pandemonium that had broken out in the rest of the pub. Geoff
thought he was going to die. He didn’t know whether to call the
police or a priest.

“I’m really
sorry to interrupt but Ares there’s a situation in the ladies that
you need to help with.” Liberty said.

“Is it
Aphrodite?” Ares said. He was getting angry. “If it is I don’t
care. I’m fed up with being manipulated by her. She’s big enough to
sort herself out.”

“Ah shit guys,
I should have said that Aphrodite was here, sorry.” Hermes said
cavorting past with a dryad in tow.

“That is your
mess, you go clean it up.” Liberty said, the fury gleaming in her
eyes. Ares puffed his cheeks out and went in after Glory. He was so
pissed off. Aphrodite had clearly spent the afternoon trawling all
the romantic spots on earth trying to stop him proposing.

***

“You’re sure
that you’ve never told anyone about Apollo’s weird little crush on
me? If I swear that I won’t agree to marry Ares today then will you
swear on Styx that you won’t ever tell a soul about Apollo and me?”
Glory asked.

“I never
thought it was worth mentioning. I just thought you were one of his
nympho foibles that he has periodically. I swear on Styx I won’t
tell anyone anything about you and Apollo.” Aphrodite could see
what all the fuss about Glory was when she was this close. She
remembered the kiss at the gig all too well. Aphrodite leaned in
and kissed Glory, she just wanted to feel her. She wanted to feel
what it was that Ares clearly did.

“Whilst I want
to see where this could end, you need to go home Aphrodite.” Ares
said noting that Aphrodite’s lipstick had smudged onto Glory.

“If I were you
I’d go out through the fire exit. You don’t want to cause a scene
in the pub.” Liberty said shaking her head. Ares pointed the way to
the fire exit as Aphrodite wobbled out of the loos. He stood there
for a moment staring at Glory’s shapely back before following
Aphrodite out of the room.

“It’s only
9.30pm.” Glory said.

“How the fuck
are we getting out of this house party?” Liberty said.

“We could
always go to work?”

“My car’s here.
I’ll meet you out front in two minutes. I’m going to say good bye
to Apollo.”

“Alright, tell
Honour that no one is allowed to go in the living room because of
those sodding dresses and if anyone other than me sleeps in my bed
I’ll be furious.” Glory said over her shoulder to Liberty as she
pushed the bar lock on the fire exit and walked out to an empty
night sky.

Apollo sat in the leather armchair in
his library and stared Ares down. What Ares had just said repulsed
him. He was seething but doing well not to show it. “Could you
repeat that, please brother.”

“I said, that
I’ll gladly not get involved in your war of succession, heck I’ll
even back you as long as I get Glory.” Ares said.

“Is that what
we are reduced to brother? I can buy your loyalty with a girl?”
Apollo looked far more casual than he felt about this.

“Yes.”

“How will
Aphrodite take that?” Apollo asked.

“Well she won’t
take it lying down that’s for sure after her display today.” Ares
glanced at Artemis who was staring at a bookshelf.

“I take it you
want me to do her in.” Artemis said turning her head.

“That would be
most convenient; just one quick shot would do the trick. You've
done it before.” Ares said.

“The god of
murder is too scared to get rid of his controlling girlfriend.”
Athena said. She was surprised by Ares.

“I need an
alibi is all.” Ares said cocksure.

“Yes well.”
Athena said as she got up and poured herself a glass of whisky.

“All is fair in
love and war… Alright then it’s agreed. I’d swear on Styx but she
won’t be around for much longer.” Apollo said. Ares rose from his
chair, shook Apollo's hand and left the room.

“How
extraordinary.” Artemis wandered over to the bookshelf she had been
staring at and pulled a well-read volume out before going over and
joining Athena in a glass.

“Indeed, well I
think we have unquestionably drawn the line in the sand.” Athena
said calmly before exiting and leaving the twins alone.

“When did you
start drinking?” Apollo was brooding. He knew then and there that
Ares was a dead god.

“Well, why
not.” She said coming over and sitting on the arm of Apollo’s
chair.

“Yes.” He
pulled out his phone and texted Glory, again.

“What does she
have that I don’t?”

“She’s a D-cup
to begin with.” He said looking at his twin sister. “Oh, you’re
serious aren’t you? Why are you being serious?”

“I’m in love
with you.”

“Fuck off.”

“I know all
about you.” She said brandishing
Paradise Lost
.

“You know
nothing about us.”

“Why do you
love her so much?”

“Because she’s
what I aspire to be, I want to be glorious.”

“Is that it?”
She asked incredulous.

“What do you
mean is that it?” He said standing up in indignation. “Is that it?
She is the loveliest creature that ever did tread the wretched
earth. She is my light and my dark. She is my everything. And what
are you?”

“Indeed what am
I?”

“A fool.”

“I know all
about you.”

“Everyone knows
all about me. I made sure of that. It all started as a joke a
couple of millennia back but it worked: the mortals love to fear
gods. I am that god. I am who they fear. I’ll end the world. I have
so much power that I don’t know what to do with it all. I am Satan.
I am Lucifer the bringer of light.”

“You sound like
a bad bond villain.” Artemis leafed through the volume in her hand
and began to read impassioned and eloquently.

“
If thou
beest he; But O how fall'n! how chang'd

From him, who
in the happy Realms of Light

Cloth'd with
transcendent brightness didst out-shine

Myriads though
bright: If he Whom mutual league,

United
thoughts and counsels, equal hope

And hazard in
the Glorious Enterprize,

Joynd with me
once, now misery hath joynd

In equal ruin:
into what Pit thou seest

From what
highth fall'n, so much the stronger prov'd

He with his
Thunder: and till then who knew

The force of
those dire Arms?”

Artemis threw
the book at him, downed the rest of the whisky in her glass and
threw the glass at the wall. “I know all about you.”

“Only she knows
me.” Apollo said as he hit his sister, catching her on her
cheek.