Uncontrollable (Key West #3) (2 page)

Chapter One

Kade

It was the same nightmare I’d been having for years. I had relived that night in my head a million times and woken up in a panicked state, leading to me playing out all the ways I could have made sure it turned out differently. Instead, I pushed Jenna beyond her limits, and now I had to live with the fact that I was partly responsible for her death. If only I had given in to her and spent the night watching a movie, she may still be right here next to me.

I can’t remember the last time I felt rested when I awoke, the last time I was able to open my eyes and feel as if a ton of bricks wasn’t pressing down upon my chest. I felt like I was a stranger in my own life as I floated through my days, pretending I wasn’t a mess on the inside.

Today, though, I had to slap on a smile and attend my best friend’s wedding. It was the last thing I felt like doing, but I owed it to Jett. He stood by me even during my lowest times. When I pushed everyone away and ran, he still reached out, offering support. No, I didn’t take it. I didn’t take help from anyone, but it still meant a lot to me that he continued to offer.

I threw back the deep red comforter and crawled out from the warmth of my bed. A chill raked through my body once my bare feet touched the tiled floor. My apartment was on the lowest level of my building, and it was always so much cooler than the units above, even before I turned on my central air. It only held the essentials and lacked a lot in the comfort department. Hell, my kitchen suite was a folding table and chairs. Likewise, my couch had seen better days, and one of the arms was only held up by the wall on the other side.

After a long, hot shower, I ran a razor over my jaw to even out my goatee and then trimmed the hair on my upper lip before I rinsed the razor and dried my face with a hand towel.

By the time I was done, my phone was ringing from the next room, and I didn’t have to see the screen to know it was Jett. I’d been scheduled to meet them at the church fifteen minutes ago. Yet letting it go to voice mail solved nothing, because it immediately began to ring once again.

I rushed into my bedroom, grabbed for my cell, and swiped my finger across the screen. “I’m leaving now,” I assured him as I grabbed my shirt off the back of the chair.

“Dude, seriously, you’re gonna make me worry about you being a no-show on my wedding day?” Jett was trying to sound all serious, but I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Don’t be such a pansy. I said I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“You better be. Your tux is waiting,” he said before hanging up, leaving me with visions of the awaiting penguin suit dancing in my head.

I hated dressing up, all those ties and shiny-ass shoes. That shit wasn’t me. I was more of a jeans and t-shirt type of guy. My father passed down his automotive store to me when he retired, and rarely did you see me without grease or dirt smeared somewhere on my clothes. So wearing a tux was going to make me feel like I was being suffocated. I tried to convince Quinn to go with a beach-themed wedding—the girls in bikinis, and the guys wearing Bermuda shorts. She wasn’t game for it, but I thought the idea was genius. Between the beach and my shop, there were no other places I would rather spend my time.

After rushing around my apartment gathering everything as quickly as possible, I hurried off to the church. As I entered, I was blessed with the sight of Avery and Callie exiting the bathroom. I stood frozen in the entryway, trying to contain my excitement at seeing them. Callie has always been a friend to me. I grew up around her and can honestly say she’s like the little sister I never had. She’s one of those girls you can say just about anything around without feeling guilty.

But Avery was different, and the more I got to know her, the harder it was to stop thinking about her. She’s feisty and mischievous, but she has such a big heart, and she makes my heart beat a little faster every time she’s near. She has this way of always worrying about everyone else, putting her needs last. It just shows how compassionate she truly is for those around her. I loved finding ways to make her smile, because her smile makes my heart feel like it’s been jump-started. Both girls looked gorgeous in skimpy, formfitting lavender dresses that highlighted their bronzed skin.

Callie placed her hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m surprised Jett hasn’t sent out Jude and Easton to escort you safely to his dressing room. He’s about to climb the walls waiting for this wedding to be over so he can get to Quinn.”

“Yeah, he called.” I shrugged, grinning as I remembered how anxious he sounded. “Do you think he’ll make it through the ceremony without kissing her?”

“Probably not,” Callie said. “He snuck into their place first thing this morning to see her, and we had to throw him out. He’s seriously hanging on by a thin thread.”

My gaze wandered back to Avery. Her long, blonde hair hung over her shoulder in ringlets, leaving the other side bare and completely on display. The golden skin begged to be kissed and tasted. Her silk dress hugged her breasts, dipping low in the center to show the swell of her perfect tits. The snug material highlighted her curves, and I know I was staring, but damn she looked sexy.

She shifted, and I shot my gaze up to meet her eyes. A knowing smile spread out over her lips as she stared back at me.

“Do you two need a minute?” Callie asked, and Avery’s cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

Avery was the one girl who had me rethinking my decision to refrain from anything long-term, but so far, this was a battle I hadn’t won. Every time I tried to find ways around my resistance to love again, visions of Jenna’s body and her mangled car always won out.

“We need to get back to the room before Quinn comes looking for us,” Avery said as she rushed toward the back of the church. She had to pass me on the way, and I didn’t let the opportunity to tell her how good she looked pass me by. I hooked my arm around her waist, and she let out a little yelp of surprise. I pulled her against me and leaned in close to bring my lips to her ear. “You look so beautiful—and unbelievably sexy.”

She turned in my arms, bringing her body in just a little closer to mine. Her breath made her chest flutter, and her eyes were closed as if she was focusing solely on being next to me. Her scent engulfed me, making it hard to focus.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead before stepping back, because I had to put some space between us. The overwhelming urge to kiss her until we both couldn’t breathe was almost impossible to resist.

“Save me a dance at the reception?” I asked, yet it sounded more like a statement.

All she offered was a nod just before Callie gripped her arm and pulled her away from me.

“My gosh, you two, just give in already. The heat between you guys is stifling,” Callie groaned as she looked back over her shoulder and winked at me.

She was right. The atmosphere was hot as hell whenever Avery and I got within five feet of one another.

***

“You ready for this?” Easton asked Jett as Jett continued to pace. We’d been locked in this tiny-ass room at the back of the church for close to an hour, and the walls were closing in on me. Confined spaces had a tendency to freak me out.

“Fuck yeah, I’m ready,” he said. “In fact, if this don’t get moving soon, I’m gonna go find Quinn and drag her off to Vegas. This shit’s for the birds. I’m ready to get married.”

I chuckled, and Jude grinned slyly from where he sat at the opposite side of the room.

“You’re just ready to consummate the marriage,” I said as I straightened my tie. Goddamn thing felt like it was strangling me.

“Hell yeah, I am. I told Quinn we’re out of here once I hear the words, ‘You may kiss the bride.’” It was Jett’s turn to smile with a coy gleam in his eye. “I rented a limo for the night. It has privacy glass on all the windows, not to mention between us and the driver.” He turned around to face us. “I have every intention of consummating the hell out of my marriage at least twice before we make it to the reception.” He shifted his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, and even Jude, the quiet, mysterious monster, chuckled.

***

I felt sick to my stomach. It hit me the moment I reached the altar as I turned to face the crowd. Anger immediately engulfed me, and it was next to impossible to contain. I stared at him as my nostrils flared and my heart raced.

Robert Archer hadn’t been drinking that night. He was a law-abiding citizen who had fallen asleep at the wheel after working a double shift, but Jenna was killed on impact. If it wasn’t for him, and me, the woman I had thought I’d marry one day would still be alive today.

I wasn’t the only person that blamed myself; Jenna’s parents blamed me too.

Jude tapped my arm, and I looked over at him, my chest still heaving with anger.

“You all right?” he asked.

“No.” It was all I offered him before turning back to face the man that killed Jenna.

I spent the entire ceremony glaring at him as he fidgeted in his seat, trying my best to remember it was Jett and Quinn’s day. The moment the ceremony ended, he hurried out of the chapel, and I stalked out after him. Outside, I cornered him at the side of the building.

“Why are you here?” I shouted.

“I was invited,” he stated nervously.

His response only made me angrier. He got to live his life. He got to wake up every fucking day and smile, laugh, and feel the sun on his face. But Jenna paid the price for a few extra bucks in his pocket.

I took a step closer until my chest was only inches from his. He stood at my height and he wasn’t a small man, yet he appeared weak and defeated.

“Dad?” I heard from behind me, and my once-racing heart hit the fucking ground at my feet. “Is everything okay?”

I took a step back and turned to face Avery. She looked up at me with a confused expression on her face.

“This is your dad?’ I asked, hoping I had misunderstood her.

“My stepdad, but yes,” she clarified.

I hung my head and took in a deep breath. No wonder I hadn’t made the connection. Avery still had her biological father’s last name, but the man that took Jenna from me was the man she now called Dad.

Chapter Two

Avery

“Kade, what’s going on?” I asked.

The tension between them terrified me. Kade and the man who had been more of a father than the one who abandoned my mother and me were staring at each other as if they were enemies. They looked as if they were going to attack each other at any moment.

“Do you two know each other?” I asked.

“Yeah, Robert and I go way back. Don’t we, Robert?” Kade’s response was all cocky arrogance.

“I’m sensing that, uh,” I stuttered, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t make the situation worse, “maybe
friends
isn’t the right word to explain your relationship.”

My dad stood before Kade silently. I had rarely seen him nervous or even angry, but right now he appeared to be a little of both.

“I think I’m gonna get going, Avery,” he said. “I have to be to work in an hour. Tell your mother I’ll see her tonight.” He turned around to face his car and attempted to leave in a hurry.

“Are you still working all that overtime, Robert?” Kade asked, and I found his comment odd. “You are getting enough sleep in between shifts, right? I mean, you wouldn’t want to get behind the wheel and cause an accident, would you, Robert?”

My father didn’t answer Kade or even look back as he walked away. He just opened his car door and crawled inside.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I narrowed my eyes at Kade. “Where do you get off talking to him like that?”

“You don’t know?” he asked.

“Know what?” I fired back, growing more irritated with him.

His nostrils flared, and his rapid breathing grew more intense. “How long has he been married to your mother?”

“Why does that matter?” I wasn’t going to give in to his demands for details about my life after the way he’d just behaved. He owed me an explanation for the way he treated my father. Until I got it, he could fuck off.

“How long?” he snapped.

“Go to hell, Kade.” I spun on my heel and walked back toward the church, but I could hear his footsteps following me. These damn strappy heels were impossible to get away in. He gripped my elbow a little too hard, and I yelped as he spun me around to face him.

“Let go,” I said as I yanked my arm away. He was acting crazy, and it was starting to scare me. Kade had always been so sweet and gentle with me. Yeah, he was quiet and often hard to read, but he had never behaved like this.

As my eyes filled with tears, he stepped back, gaping. I got the feeling he just realized he’d hurt me. “Avery, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you, sweetheart?” He reached out for me, and I backed away. “I didn’t mean to. Goddamn it, I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine. I need to get back inside. We have pictures.” I turned and rushed off, not giving him the chance to say anything more.

Quinn looked up as I approached the altar. Jett had a death grip on her waist, as if she may escape and he wasn’t about to let her. I giggled at his ridiculous obsession with her. His need for her and how much he loved having her near were honestly adorable. I was envious of Quinn. The previous encounter with Kade came rushing back, and I found my impending tears returning once more at the sight of the sweetness the two of them shared.

“Don’t you dare cry,” Harper said. “You’ll ruin your makeup. If I have to stand up there and have this crazy-ass photographer position me like a damn mannequin in some department store window, so do you.” She bumped her hip against mine. “And we are sure as hell going to complete this task looking our finest.”

Harper always had the ability to make anyone smile, and her snarky comments and go-get-’em attitude were always refreshing.

“We’ll talk about that scene between you and Kade after the photographer is done with us.” She narrowed her eyes, daring me to argue.

The idea of rehashing a time I just wanted to forget even happened turned my stomach. But Harper took no shit from anyone, and if you were her friend, you had to accept that she wouldn’t let you shy away from a challenge.

I refrained from making eye contact with Kade during the photos. I could sense him staring, though, and even caught him watching me on more than one occasion out of the corner of my eye. I just wanted to get this over with and place some much-needed distance between the two of us.

I moved around robotically as the photographer directed me where to stand and how to move. Yet the moment she asked Kade to stand at my side and place his hand on my hip, I clammed up, and nervous energy rushed through my body. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and nausea knotted my stomach. At the touch of his palm, I went rigid and held my breath.

He let out a deep breath and pulled me back against his chest. “Please don’t do that,” he whispered against my ear. “I would never—” He paused as if to control his emotions. “I could never hurt you, Avery. I’m so sorry I scared you.”

I counted to ten in my head, over and over reining in my emotions. I couldn’t break down, not here, not now. I focused on each word being spoken around us and didn’t respond or offer him even a backward glance. Instead, I forced a smile for the camera, pretending I wasn’t completely tied up on the inside.

***

Things between Kade and me were tense during the reception, to say the least. I spent more time hiding in the bathroom than interacting with the rest of the guests. When I wasn’t in there, I used my mother as a barrier along with Harper, who was shooting daggers at Kade every chance she got. She continued to insist I explain what had happened between us, but I miraculously found more than one way to distract her from the topic. When Easton whisked her away to the dance floor, I was more than grateful. Reliving the Kade crisis had been averted.

But after my mother went home and everyone paired up to dance, I was left standing off to the side, feeling alone and vulnerable. When Kade approached me again, my heart raced so fast I felt like I would pass out.

“Please believe me when I say I would never intentionally hurt you, Avery.” His voice was raw with emotion. “Let me explain.”

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget about it,” I insisted.

“I can’t.” He lifted his hand and skimmed my jaw with his fingertips. “I scared you, and I was an ass,” He closed his eyes tightly, then moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. As his chest pressed firmly against mine, I concentrated on my breathing, trying to maintain my composure.

To anyone around us, we would appear to be dancing to the music, but I knew Kade hugging me like this was his way of apologizing. When I looked up at him, I could see the hurt in his eyes. Something bad had happened between my stepdad and him, and not knowing what it was scared me in a way I didn’t know how to handle.

I lowered my head onto his shoulder once again. “Why don’t you like Robert?” I asked, my voice muffled against his neck.

Kade placed a gentle kiss against my temple, and the deep breath he released fanned out over my shoulder. “I don’t know if telling you is the best idea.”

I pushed against his chest, forcing him to let me go. “You can tell me or he can tell me.” I cleared my throat. “It doesn’t matter to me which one of you does, because I can guarantee you, I will find out. “

“Dance with me,” he said. “Please.”

His evasion only made me more irritated. But I calmed a bit as I noticed his bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them. He’d obviously been just as stressed today as I was. After a moment, he reached out and took my hand in his, then led me toward the dance floor. Once there, I let him pull me close again, allowing him to take whatever comfort he needed. We swayed through several songs, and he held me near without speaking.

“Jenna was my first love,” Kade suddenly whispered against my neck, startling me. His voice was raspy, gruff, more like a weak whisper. “It was my fault she left upset that night. I made her mad, and I just kept pushing back. I should have just agreed to stay home with her. If I’d done what she wanted, she would still be alive.”

He had never shared anything personal with me. What little I knew about him so far came from our mutual friends, and his past was a subject that was always off limits. When it came to Kade being quiet and withdrawn, they said he had reasons, but that they were his to tell. And now, he was telling me. The idea of him finally opening up overwhelmed and touched me. It truly meant so much.

“I left what felt like seconds after she did to stop her, but I was too late. The accident had already happened. She was already gone.” His voice cracked on the last word.

My chest ached at the pain in his words. I gently rubbed his lower back, offering a soft kiss against the base of his neck. Kade tucked his face a little tighter against mine, bringing our mouths only inches apart. We both remained frozen, unsure of where to go then.

The moment his lips skimmed over mine, I fisted his shirt at his waist. The soft, gentle kiss he placed against my lips was all he offered before resting his forehead against mine. A feeling of strong disappointment settled deep in my stomach. I had wanted his kiss for so long, and he was toying with me, offering only a tease of what I knew he could give. I wanted him to take ahold of me and kiss me with everything he had. Instead, he stepped back from me.

“He hit her,” he said, and confusion washed over me. “Robert is the guy that ran the red light and killed Jenna that night.”

My legs grew weak, and I couldn’t breathe. Voices murmured faintly around me, but I couldn’t tell what they were saying. I felt as if I was in a tunnel that was slowly shrinking in around me.