Understood (3 page)

She registered its passing but wouldn’t give in to the urge to see if it still looked as evil as she remembered. She hadn’t been down this street since the night she’d run out in the middle of the night.

She hadn’t known where to go, hadn’t realized she was at Jake’s door until he’d opened it and hauled her sobbing body inside.

Her hands shook, and she tapped on the accelerator, anxious for the house to be out of her periphery. Ahead, Jake’s house loomed, and she turned into his driveway.

She used to love this neighborhood. When she and Ray had married, he’d surprised her by buying the house in the upscale development. She’d dreamed of children playing in the yard, backyard barbeques and socializing with the neighbors. Instead she’d spent her days praying she wouldn’t become pregnant and avoiding the neighbors for fear they’d know all her dirty secrets.

Her legs shook as she made her way up the paved walkway to Jake’s front door. The shrubbery lining the walk was all well maintained and manicured. The lawn was freshly mowed. It ought to be since she made sure a crew came out weekly to keep up Jake’s yard.

She stopped at the door and inserted the key into the lock. When she pushed open the door, she was assailed by memories of that night…

“Ellie, what the hell are you doing here this time of night?” Jake demanded.

She all but threw herself into his arms, praying he wouldn’t turn her away.

“My God, Ellie, you’re bleeding! What happened? Where are you hurt?”

He wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her inside, shutting the door behind him. She was sobbing. She could hear herself, but it seemed so far away. As if someone else was doing the crying.

“Ellie, talk to me. Where are you hurt? Do you want me to go get Ray?”

She’d panicked then, striking out, trying anything to get away.

Jake swore and held her tightly against him as she fought in vain to escape. She managed to break free for a moment. It was then he seemed to notice the torn clothing. The bruises forming on her face. The blood smeared on her thighs.

His entire body went rigid. He reached out and took her hands gently in his, holding her still when she would have fled.

“Who did this to you, Ellie?”

His voice was low. Dangerously low. It sent a chill down her spine as she registered the violence in his tone.

“Please,” she whispered. “Don’t make me go back to him. Please, please.”

Hot tears ran down her face, and she looked up at him, knowing he was her only chance. If he didn’t believe her, she was well and truly doomed.

His mouth opened and closed. Fury raged in his eyes. Then a sorrow, so deep, so profound crept over his face.

“Ray did this to you?” he asked in disbelief. “He hurt you?”

She looked down, knowing she was destroying more than just her marriage with her admission. She was destroying Jake’s friendship with a man he’d grown up with. A man he considered a brother in the truest sense of the word.

“Ellie, look at me,” he commanded. He gently pushed her chin up with his fingers. “Ray did this?”

She closed her eyes as sobs welled in her throat once more. It shamed her beyond words for Jake to see her like this, for him to know the dirty little secret that was her marriage.

“Ellie,” he prompted once more. “
Did Ray do this
?”

“Yes,” she whispered. And she knew with her admission that not only would she never be the same, but neither would Jake.

Ellie shuddered lightly then realized she was still standing in Jake’s entryway, the door wide open in front of her. She quickly stepped inside and shut the door.

She glanced around, taking in the sparsely furnished living room. It had all the male essentials. A big screen TV, a couch and a recliner, but it was devoid of any décor save for the large Christmas tree in the corner.

It surprised her that Jake would have gone to the trouble of putting up a tree and decorating it in such detail since he lived alone, but the tree was perfectly shaped, draped in old-fashioned wood ornaments.

She turned away, unable to bear the cheerful sight.

She set the key on the coffee table and looked toward the hallway she knew led to his bedroom. She started across the wood floor, her mind reliving the night Jake had carried her to his bed so he could care for her.

At the doorway, she paused, looking at the big bed centered in the room. Could she do this? Reach out and take what she so desperately wanted? She knew Jake wanted her. Knew he’d wanted her a while, but she’d been determined she wouldn’t go to him so soon after her break-up with Ray.

She took a few steps into the bedroom and slipped out of her shoes. She reached for her zipper and let her skirt fall in a pool around her feet. Next she unbuttoned her blouse and slowly let it slip from her shoulders.

Now standing in just her bra and panties, she felt a surge of nervousness. At any moment, Jake would walk through that door, expecting to have sex with her. What if she couldn’t do it?

She closed her eyes and banished all thoughts from her mind but Jake. Imagined his hard body pressed against hers. Those big arms wrapped around her, sheltering her from the rest of the world.

Her fingers slid up her body, raising goose bumps on her skin. She ran them underneath the under wire of her bra, around to the back until she fumbled with the hook. When it sprang free, she let the straps slide from her shoulders until the bra joined her other clothes on the floor. Then she reached for her underwear.

Soon she stood completely naked. She shivered slightly. Finally she opened her eyes and moved toward the bed. She pulled back the covers and eased onto the mattress, pulling the covers over her body as she went.

As her head hit the pillow, she breathed deeply, inhaling Jake’s scent. It was as if he was lying next to her. She closed her eyes and burrowed deeper into his pillow. He’d be here soon.

Jake roared to a stop in his driveway, relieved to see Ellie’s car parked a few feet away. He got out and hurried for the door. He sure hoped she hadn’t changed her mind in the time it had taken him to get here.

Shelton had caught him just as he was leaving the job site and forced a confrontation over the foreman’s firing. Jake had wasted thirty minutes before Shelton had finally backed down once he figured out Jake wasn’t budging.

He let himself into the house and closed the door quietly behind him. Had she done as he’d told her? Was she lying naked in his bed just a room away?

His cock surged to life.

He walked through the house on silent feet. When he reached his bedroom, he paused at the doorway and stared over at the bed. His chest shook at his sharp intake of breath.

Unable to resist, he moved closer to the bed. The sheet was tucked underneath her arms, covering her chest. Her silky, dark hair splayed out over his pillow. His fingers itched to touch the curls, to twine them around his hands.

While the sheet covered her body, it did little to conceal the dark imprint of her nipples. He swallowed as he imagined what they’d taste like, the sensation of the sweet buds on his tongue.

As if sensing his presence, she stirred and her eyelids fluttered open. A shy, sweet smile curved her full lips.

“Jake,” she whispered. “You’re here.”

Hell and damnation, it was all he could do to keep himself from ripping the sheets from her body, spreading her legs and diving in. Instead he eased to a sitting position beside her and trailed a finger over her cheek.

“Did you think I wouldn’t be?”

She nuzzled her cheek against his hand as if seeking his touch. “I hoped you would,” she said quietly.

He shifted to try and alleviate the ever growing discomfort in his groin. Her voice, so sexy, husky, like a shot of good whiskey. It licked over him, and he began to imagine her tongue doing the same.

“Ellie, we need to talk.” He didn’t recognize his own voice. It sounded hoarse and needy.

She struggled to sit up, and when she slid upward, the sheet fell to her lap. He groaned aloud as the rosy tips of her breasts became visible.

She yanked the sheet back up, clutching it to her chest. Pink dusted her cheeks, and she peeked up at him.

He fought to try and remember what it was he wanted to say to her. His mind had gone straight to mush as soon as he’d gotten a glimpse of those perfect breasts.

“What did you want to talk about?” she prompted.

He shook his head and refocused his attention.

“I need to be sure this is what you want, Ellie. I don’t want a martyr in my bed. You need to be absolutely certain you want what’s about to happen here, because once I take you, you’re mine.”

He watched as her lips formed an “O” of shock. He leaned in closer until his lips were a hair’s breadth from hers.

“Mine, Ellie. In my bed. All mine. I won’t let you go. You need to tell me if you’re prepared for that, because if you aren’t, you need to hightail it home right now.”

She ran her tongue over her lips, licking nervously then pulling at the bottom lip with her teeth.

“I don’t want to go home.”

“Then look at me, Ellie. Tell me who you see. Tell me who’s going to make love to you in about two minutes.”

“You are, Jake,” she whispered.

He covered her mouth with his, his need to taste her nearly overwhelming. He’d waited years for this moment. He sucked gently at her tongue, grazing it with his teeth.

He looked at her in confusion when she ended the kiss. Earnestness burned in her blue eyes as she pulled away.

“There’s something I want to say, too, Jake. About the other night.”

He put a finger over her lips to shush her, but she shook her head.

She took in a deep breath, and he wondered what the hell she could possibly have to say that was worth interrupting the moment.

“Jake, the reason I went to that bar. I didn’t know you’d be there, you have to believe that.”

He frowned. “That makes it better? Hell, Ellie, what if I hadn’t been there? Have you thought about that?”

She colored and seemed to grow more anxious.

“The reason I went…I went because I hoped that if I could go through with it, I mean I did it because I wanted you. I had to be sure I could go through with it.”

He looked incredulously at her. “Am I supposed to be flattered that you thought you had to test drive some other cock in order to work up the nerve to climb into my bed?”

She shook her head vigorously. “That’s not what it was about.”

“Then what
was
it about?” he demanded.

Her gaze dropped. He reached out to nudge her chin up. He looked expectantly at her.

“I wanted it to be perfect,” she said quietly. “I wanted you. I felt pretty positive you wanted me. I didn’t want our first time together to be a disaster because I couldn’t go through with it. I thought…I thought if I went to bed with another man, I could get past my demons.”

Her lips trembled as the last words came tumbling out. He swore softly under his breath even as his chest tightened at her admission.

“I’m so damn tempted to turn you over my knee and spank your ass. Of all the fool-headed, cockamamie things. Do you honestly think I’d sit back and be grateful you went to bed with another man before offering yourself to me on a silver platter?”

Her blue eyes glimmered with a hint of moisture as she stared back at him.

He moved his hand from her chin and stroked it over her cheek. “Ellie,” he said in a low voice. “I don’t expect you to pretend. Not with me. Never with me. You don’t have to put up a brave front and act like no one’s ever hurt you.

“Do you understand how much I want you? Not your idea of perfection. I want
you
. Just the way you are. I want you so damn much I ache.”

Her eyes widened.

“Do you want me, Ellie? Do you ache like I do?”

She leaned forward, reaching a hand to his face. The sheet fell once more, and this time she didn’t try to retrieve it. Her fingers slid over his jaw, and he turned his face so he could kiss the smooth skin of her palm.

“I do want you, Jake. So very much. And you’re right. I’m not afraid of you. You’re the only person I feel safe with. But I’m afraid of
me
.”

He looked hungrily at her. “Then trust me to make this perfect for both of us.”

“I do, Jake. I do.”

His head bobbed close to hers. Their noses dodged, and he tilted his head until he was at the perfect angle to meet her lips.

Heat sizzled and sparked between them. She felt him in every single cell. Her breasts tingled, and her nipples tightened painfully. Currents of desire fanned out, the sheer power making her weak.

His hand snaked around her neck until he palmed the back of her head. He burrowed his fingers into her mane of hair, and he pulled her closer.

“You taste so sweet,” he murmured.

“Are you going to get undressed?” she asked.

He smiled. “In a hurry, sweetheart?”

Yeah, she was in a hurry. She couldn’t wait to see his body. Feel his naked skin on hers.

He rose from the bed and stood just a foot away. With slow, measured movements, he pulled his flannel shirt from his waistband then began unbuttoning.

Her pulse sped up as he parted the lapels and she caught her first glimpse of his muscled chest. He shrugged out of the sleeves and let the shirt fall to the floor.

Holy moly. He had the most gorgeous chest she’d ever seen on a man, bar none. Broad shoulders, bulging arms, an abdomen with a pronounced six pack. She nearly had to wipe the drool from her mouth. Never. Never had she imagined anything close to the reality staring her in the face.

He lowered his thumbs until they hooked into his waistband. His fingers worked at the snap. Then she heard the bite of the zipper.

She didn’t realize she was holding her breath until it all came rushing out. He lowered his jeans, his underwear coming with them. The thatch of dark hair at his groin came into view and then the thick base of his cock.

The material of the jeans pulled at the straining flesh until finally he sprang free. Her eyes widened in shock. Her gaze shot up to meet Jake’s.

He grinned. A cocky, self assured grin. “I’ll fit, sweetheart. You’ll take all of me. In your mouth, in your pussy, and in your ass. And you’ll love every minute of it.”

Heat flooded her, rushing to her cheeks. Her clit hummed and strained. She shifted to try and alleviate the discomfort between her legs. She ached. Jake had asked if she ached. But she wasn’t sure if the word did justice to the very real pain she felt.

The bed dipped as Jake crawled up beside her. His big body hovered over hers until, finally, he collected her in his arms and pulled her up tight against him.

“You’re beautiful. I’ve dreamed of this moment. Longer than you’ll ever know.”

Her lips were temptingly close to the curve of his neck, and she gave in to the urge to sink her teeth into the corded muscles that formed the ridge between his shoulder and the base of his head.

He flinched and emitted a low moan. Emboldened by his response, she nibbled a path to his ear where she swirled her tongue around the lobe before nipping sharply at it.

“Goddamn, Ellie!”

She smiled and continued her assault.

“You’ve got to stop, sweetheart. I won’t last a nanosecond if you keep that up.”

He gently pushed her away until her head rested on the soft pillow. He lay above her, his green eyes blazing with a need she knew mirrored her own.

She reached up a hand to trace the lines of his face, stopping when her fingers reached his lips. He sucked one of the digits into his mouth, nibbling lightly at the tip.

He seemed patient, something that surprised her. Jake wasn’t the patient type. He was demanding, sometimes even surly. He tended to be abrupt, and he had no tolerance for procrastination. Yet, he lay there, regarding her with a lazy air.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asked.

“You’re beautiful, that’s why. I’ve never met a woman who makes me shake like you do.”

She smiled. She couldn’t help it. What woman wouldn’t want to hear that she affected a man like Jake?

“I want you to love me, Jake.”

With a harsh groan, he bent and slid hot, hungry lips over hers. Gone was the patience. He devoured her like a man starved.

She twisted restlessly underneath him. Her skin burned. She wanted. God, she wanted. It consumed her, tore into her like a jagged blade.

His mouth worked fervently down her neck to her chest until his lips closed around one pointed nipple. As he sucked the tip into his mouth, she cried out.

She felt the pinch between her legs as streaks of electricity raced from her abdomen.

“Feel good, sweetheart?”

“Oh God…”

He chuckled before sliding his hard body down hers, kicking the covers back as he went. He stopped when his mouth was even with her sensitive belly, and he ran his tongue around the indention of her navel.

Tiny goose bumps prickled over her flesh as his tongue trailed lower. And lower still.

Her breathing sped up until she was panting. His fingers trailed through the curls surrounding her pussy and gently spread the folds.

He touched his tongue to her clit, and she bolted upward, a sigh of pleasure escaping tightly compressed lips. Over and over, his mouth feathered across the quivering little bud until she was mindless in her ecstasy.

One finger circled her opening before dipping inside the slightest bit. Then with a quick movement, he sucked her clit between his teeth and nipped as he plunged the finger deeper.

She went wild, her hands curling tightly around into the sheets. Her head flailed from side to side as her eyes closed tight against the burst of sensation that swept over her.

“Jaaake!”

He ignored her, sliding another finger in to join the first. They slid easily in and out of her wetness.

She was close. She was on the brink of something truly wonderful. But before she could reach out and take it, he stopped.

He slid back up her body, his muscular thigh parting her legs. His cock, heavy and thick, nudged into her slick folds.

She stiffened for a moment, a tendril of panic squeezing her chest.

“Relax, sweetheart. We’re going to take this nice and easy.”

He propped himself up slightly with one knee and framed her face with his hands. He stared down at her, his expression so gentle, devoid of the hard-ass persona he exuded ninety-nine percent of the time.

He held her as he fitted his mouth to hers once more. This time, she sucked at his tongue, coaxing it inward. His taste was different from before, and she realized the sexy, musk was her, the evidence of her pleasure.

One of his hands left her face and reached between them. He reared back and rubbed his cock over the sensitive layers of her pussy. Now coated with her moisture, the head slid easily inside as he pushed forward.

“Ahhh,” she exhaled as he gained more depth.

Slowly, methodically, he worked his way deeper. She stretched to accommodate him. Ripple upon ripple of joy coursed through her system.

Finally his hips pressed tight to hers. Her eyes flashed wide in astonishment. Above her Jake smiled, his eyes gleaming predatorily.

“Told you I’d fit.”

“Smug bastard,” she muttered.

He laughed and worked his hips, flexing his cock against her vaginal walls. “You were made for me, Ellie. Only me.”

She reached for him, wanting to hold him as he’d held her. He gave in to her need, lowering his body once more until he lay flush against her.

He placed his forearms on either side of her head as she raised her legs to circle his waist.

“That’s it,” he whispered against her cheek. “Hold on tight, sweetheart. Ride with me.”

She loved the contrast in their skin—his dark brown, work-roughened skin to her softer, paler sheen. She relaxed her legs and let her ankles slip until they hooked underneath his ass. Then she slid her palms down his back and over his firm buttocks. They tightened with every powerful thrust, the muscles contracting underneath her fingertips.

The tension in her pelvis grew. His movements became more forceful, and he increased his speed. Their ragged breathing spilled into the quiet room.

She closed her eyes, holding on to him for dear life. She felt as though she were a balloon being inflated impossibly large. Every muscle strained to near bursting. Soon she’d pop, and yet the pressure continued to build.

“Jake!”

“I’m here, sweetheart,” he rasped in her ear. “Come for me, Ellie. I’m so close.”

Her cry was lost as he captured her mouth in a passionate brand of ownership. She convulsed wildly, bucking upward to meet his pumping thighs.

The room grew dim. Blackness edged in her vision. The slap of flesh on flesh ricocheted. Then she broke apart. She simply exploded, unable to bear the mounting frenzy any longer.

Exquisite bursts of pleasure overwhelmed her until she truly feared passing out. She tried to catch her breath but found she couldn’t force air into her lungs.

Jake crushed her against him, slipping his arms underneath her body and holding tight. He grunted next to her ear then collapsed onto her, driving her further into the bed.

He lay there for a long moment, his chest heaving as he sucked in great mouthfuls of air. Then he propped his body up with his arms and looked down at her.

“Are you all right?”

She smiled and traced a pattern on his face with her fingers. “What do you think?”

“I think you nearly killed me, wench.”

She laughed, astonished at how relaxed and joyful she sounded.

He rolled to her side and stared up at the ceiling. “We didn’t use protection, Ellie.”

She turned on her side so she could better look at him. “It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”

He cocked one eye at her. “Still, I had no business not using a condom. I didn’t even think beyond getting between your legs. You make me as crazy as a horny teenager.”

She smiled and placed her hand on his chest. He put his hand over hers and brought her palm to his mouth.

“I’ll take care of you, Ellie. I promise.”

An odd rush hit her square in the chest. “I know you will, Jake.”

Silence descended between them for a few seconds. He tucked his arm around her and pulled her down until her head pillowed in the crook of his arm.

“Why are you on the pill?” he asked. “I know there hasn’t been anyone since Ray.”

He said it with such confidence, but then Jake was nothing if not self-assured. And he knew her well. Better than anyone else ever had.

Oddly enough she didn’t flinch at the mention of her ex-husband’s name. Most people who knew her beyond a general acquaintance tactfully avoided mention of him or her marriage. She liked that Jake was so blunt with her. It proved he wasn’t treating her like half a person. One damaged and scarred beyond repair.

“I started taking them when Ray and I were still married,” she said quietly. “I was desperate not to get pregnant.”

Jake’s arm tightened around her then he turned until they were nearly nose to nose.

“Ellie…that night. Was it the first time he hurt you like that?”

She swallowed, unsure of whether she should admit the truth. Jake looked intently at her, so much
feeling
in his eyes, she had difficulty sorting out the various emotions she saw reflected.

“No,” she finally said. “It’s why I started taking birth control pills on the sly. I would never have willingly gone to bed with him, and I would have died rather than bring a baby into our marriage.”

Jake’s eyes closed, his face creased into an expression of pain.

“Jake, don’t,” she whispered. “Let’s not think of him. Not right now. He’s the last person I want between us when I’m in bed with you.”

“I hate myself for not seeing him for what he was,” Jake said bleakly.

She leaned in to kiss him, effectively halting anything else he might say. “I don’t hate you. I hate him. You’re not to blame. He is.”

He pushed his hand into her hair, running his fingers through the strands. Then he pulled her to him again. He kissed her lightly, several times in succession. Each time he touched a different part of her mouth.

When he finally pulled away again, his eyes were glazed with need. She glanced down his body to see his semi-aroused cock coming back to life.

“Jake?” she asked, a little breathlessly, a little unsure.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I want to touch you. I want—I want to make love to you. Can I?”