Waiting for Grace (13 page)

Fourteen

Now

It had been two weeks since Robert and I had sat in the café, and he was still present in Devon’s life, except Maria was a little frostier towards him. I was pleasant. I hid everything very well, but insisted more that he and Devon have time alone together and didn’t always tag along. I needed to keep a comfortable distance between us for my own sanity. I hadn’t seen or heard of Cecily since the week before and for that I was grateful. I had changed my shift for the upcoming weekend to have Saturday off instead of Sunday, as Jackie, the lady who ran the young mother’s home that Maria and I met in, was holding a charity event. We both volunteered as much as we could at the homes, around our hectic schedules and the kids, but her actual charity events were a must.

There would be an afternoon tea event that would be attended by generous benefactors. The tickets were £15 each. Jackie would be making her usual speech to gain funds, and she had asked that Maria and I prepare something, as well. We were both very nervous. Max and Devon were attending, and I was worried what Devon would think about Mummy being up on the stage, but when Jackie asked, we couldn’t turn it down.

“So where you off to tomorrow?” Groucher asked on Friday as my shift was winding down. “Hot date with the blonde city trader?”

“He isn’t a city trader.” I shook my head. “We’re also not in any sort of relationship, so stop going on about it,” I said, grabbing the plates.

“Well, I suppose he hasn’t been here lately, must have given up trying, eh?” He laughed to himself as I walked out of the kitchen.

When I finished my shift and had my coat on to head home, Groucher stopped me. He leaned against the door frame of the staff room. His tattooed arms bulged out of his t-Shirt with a crooked smile on his face and his green eyes shined. “How about you let me take you out some time?” he asked, watching me intently.

I smiled at him. “I’ve got enough problems, Groucher, and you’re trouble.”

He shook his head. “Just need the right woman to sort me out.”

“I bet!” I laughed. “Now come on, I’ve gotta get home.”

“How about one date and then you decide?” I looked him in the eye and for a second his usual jovial stare was gone, replaced with something more serious.

“I tell you what,” I said, “we can have a drink as friends and you can tell me all about the reasons that I should maybe have one date with you. That’s my best offer.” He grinned; his previous serious face now disappeared.

“Sounds like a deal.” He smirked. “But you’ll have to call me Alan.”

“Oh God, that’s a deal breaker.” I sighed. “Alan is not an attractive name.”

He laughed.

“Only one I’ve got.”

“Right, well, see you Sunday.”

“Yeah!” he shouted after me. “Let me know when you’re free.” I cringed in case anyone heard, and I made my way outside. Groucher wasn’t a bad guy. He was a few years older than me, just turned thirty, but I didn’t think of him romantically. However, now I needed to concentrate on having fun and giving someone a chance, or else Robert would end up being my one and only love. So perhaps a drink with Groucher was a good start. He did have a lot of enviable qualities. He owned a business; he had a body that looked like it definitely visited the gym, a face that was weathered yet cared for, and a sense of humour that I was used to these days.

I made my way out into the cold when my mobile rang. It was Robert.

“Hi,” I said breathlessly, the wind whipping into me as I walked.

“Hi, I’m five minutes from the diner, do you want a lift home?” he asked.

“No, thanks,” I sighed, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why? I’m taking my daughter out tonight and I happen to be heading to the same place as you. I had a meeting ‘round the corner, so I’m offering a friendly lift.”

“Right,” I said shivering. “And what exactly are you doing in this part of the city?”

As I said that his car pulled up next to me. “Picking you up,” he said as the window rolled down.

I smiled at him thinly and could feel the warmth from inside the car as I stood on the cold pavement. I would be mad to refuse, and we had to be friends to make this all work. “Fine,” I said into the window. “Thanks.”

I jumped inside and the window went back up. He smiled as I looked over to him.

“So,” he said as we pulled away, “I’ve decided to tell my parents this weekend. I’ve been putting it off until Devon and I have had some time together. You know my mum will be here straight away.”

I nodded and must have looked nervous.

“It’ll be fine,” he said. “I just wanted you to know, that’s all. I’m going to call her tomorrow and explain.”

“Right,” I said.

“Also Devon asked me if I would come to this thing tomorrow.”

“What thing?” I whipped my head to him.

“The tea party.”

“What? She didn’t say anything to me, and I don’t think it would be your cup of tea.”

He laughed and replied, “Good pun.”

“It wasn’t meant to be,” I said sharply. “Look, it’s a charity for women and mostly women attend.”

“Well it’s a charity that helped my daughter and the woman I love, and so I want to attend.”

“Robert …” I groaned.

He looked over to me, “What?” he said innocently. I wasn’t going to bring up the fact that he said he loved me again. So I just rolled my eyes.

“Fine,” I said, facing straight ahead. “Maria and I are doing a speech so you can come and sit with Max and Devon whilst we do it. That’ll work out quite well.”

“You’ll be speaking?” he asked excitedly.

“Yes, about my jackass boyfriend who left me in the lurch in the nation’s capital, so I had to call on Jackie Ramsey for help.”

“Oh,” he said with a deep breath. “Hope I get the chance to defend myself,” he said sarcastically, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s fifteen pounds a ticket,” I said with an eyebrow raised.

“Wow, that cheap?”  he asked. He laughed, “Do we get scones with jam and cream?”

“Maybe,” I said.

He put his hand on mine that were folded in my lap. I pulled them away. “Stop it,” I warned.

He turned to me with a serious look in his eye. “You have no idea how much I wish things had been different, that I could have been there for you rather than Jackie, bloody, Ramsey.”

“Oh, Jesus, Robert, you get more dramatic by the week. It’s done, I’m fine, you’re fine, and our daughter is perfect.”

He nodded. “Damn right she is, and tomorrow I get to see you do a speech,” he tittered, and I turned to look out of the window. I was nervous enough as it was without him making it worse.

That evening Robert took Devon out for dinner. Maria and I ordered pizza with Max, who was excited that he got to choose the DVD for a change. We sat painting our nails with face packs on in our pyjamas.

“So Groucher asked me out today,” I said, looking at Maria with wide eyes. We couldn’t really move our faces because of the face packs, so she widened her eyes, too and spoke through gritted teeth so as not to crack the mask.

“Shit, what did you say?”

“I said I’d have a drink, but it wouldn’t be a date.”

“Bloody hell, you’re all heart.” She sighed, “Poor guy gets to buy you drinks, but can’t even say it’s a date.”

“I’ll buy my own drinks,” I whined.

“Oh God, just have a date with the man, what have you got to lose? He’s a good guy and you could do with a distraction from the dreaded ex.”

“Exactly,” I said, “that’s why I’m going.”

“Good,” she sighed, shaking the polish she was about to apply to her toe nails. “I think we could both do with some excitement for a change and better you than me back on the dating scene.” 

Half an hour later the masks were off, our nails were dry, and Max was ready for bed. It was eight o’clock when the doorbell rang and Robert brought Devon back. She bounded inside when I met him at the door, me in my pyjama bottoms, a t-shirt, hair scraped back and wearing no make-up. He gave me a shy smile. “See you tomorrow, Devon.” She hugged and kissed him.

“Okay, Daddy,” she said.

“What time should I be here?” he asked.

“Well we need to be there early, so you could just meet us at the club.”

“I’ll just come with you,” he said easily. It was hard to keep insisting in front of Devon, and as much space as I wanted to put between us, he kept pushing for us all to be together.

“Okay come here for eleven. The event starts at twelve. The Cricket Club is only ten minutes away. You can fit us all in your car,” I said.

“Great.”

“Say thanks to Dad for tonight,” I said to Devon.

“Thanks, Daddy,” she cooed, and as he started to walk away she shouted. “Say thanks to Cecily, as well!”

I caught my breath as she so innocently laid out the truth. Cecily had been there. He hadn’t told me and again I felt foolish. He turned to search for my eyes, but I blinked and turned my back on him before he saw the pain. I had no idea why I was surprised. I just assumed he would check with me before introducing someone important into my daughter’s life, especially someone who was spitting venom at me the first and only time I had seen her.

“Grace!” he shouted, holding the door open with his hand before I shut it. “Cecily wasn’t there, she sent a book for Grace, that’s all.”

“Oh,” I looked up at him, and he gave me a nod.

“She’s just trying to adjust, and I decided that I’d get to know Devon first, and of course you two should meet, as well, before Devon meets her.” I felt relieved but I had no business to. This man was not mine, and he was still living with his fiancée. He might have said he still loved me, but we both recognised that for what it was, teenage love lost.

He turned to leave again and we went inside.

“Mummy?” Devon asked as we climbed the stairs.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Will I always see my daddy now?”

“I hope so, sweety,” I said, running my hands through her lovely long blonde hair.

“Me too, he’s the best,” she beamed. I really did hope that Robert intended to stay just as involved in Devon’s life as he was. Now that she had a taste of a family I didn’t want it to be ripped away like it was with me.

***

Maria and I were nervous. There was a small stage at the Cricket Club and it was scattered with ten round tables. They were laid out cabaret style and full of people here to listen to Jackie plead her case for benefactors. Jackie had come a long way since helping Maria and me. She now had four homes for single mothers, using the same rules and ideals as the one Maria and I lived in. They were dotted throughout the city and housed fifteen to twenty girls at a time. She had renamed her charity, ‘Growing Together,’ and there was a huge banner announcing that at the back of the stage.

Robert sat at one of the back tables with Devon and Max, as we didn’t want the kids too close to the front. I couldn’t see him from where we stood, but I knew where he was seated. Jackie prepped us at the side of the stage before she began.

“Girls, you look lovely.” She rubbed Maria’s arm in a motherly gesture. She wore a pale blue, woollen suit, tan tights, pink heels and her mousy hair fell in soft curls to her shoulders. You could easily mistake her for someone much younger, but we both knew she was almost sixty. She usually wore glasses, but today had contact lenses in and her make-up had been taken up a notch. “Now don’t be nervous, just tell your stories and get us some more funding, so we can help as many girls as humanly possible.” She hugged us both to her. “You both make me so proud.” She smiled, broadly. Then she took to the stage, eased herself in front of the microphone, and the room hushed.
 

“Hello, everybody, welcome, and thank you all for coming. I hope you enjoy the delicious treats that will be coming out to your tables after our brief presentation. They have all been freshly prepared by ‘Growing Together,’ family and friends. I am Jackie Ramsey, and I think you will all agree that we are here for a very special cause, that of women who find themselves alone, abandoned, and vulnerable when they need someone the most.”

She cleared her throat and began the familiar story that Maria and I had heard so many times before. “I am going to give you a brief insight into why I started this charity, and then two of my girls here will give small speeches about how their lives have been enhanced by ‘Growing Together.’ So, here we go. In 1970 I found myself in a very difficult predicament. I fell in love with a local boy and we had a brief affair that left me pregnant, heartbroken, and alone. After I finally admitted my situation to my parents, my father threw some money at me, and then promptly threw me out onto the streets.”

“I found myself alone in a dingy bedsit, practically penniless, and struggling to survive. If it weren’t for an elderly neighbour who took me under her wing, helped me after my daughter, Sarah, was born with her experience, feeding us when the cupboards were bare, and helping me with childcare so that I could go out to work, I have no idea what would have happened.”