Whose Bride Is She Anyway (9 page)

Chemistry-schmemisitry

A
s the gauze fell away, revealing a chubbier Kelsey than Tara remembered, the crowd of contestants went wild. Clapping and wolf whistles drowned out everything else as Kelsey made her big entrance.

Tara’s gaze narrowed in on August. He remained stoic compared to the other men. He calmly viewed Kelsey as she jumped up from her chair and pranced in front of them in her thong bikini.

Man, her ass had some newly formed cottage cheese Tara didn’t remember when Kelsey stood arrogantly atop the pyramid as captain of the cheerleading team.

Kelsey smiled at the camera, turning toward the men, assessing each one from head to toe. Her eyes lingered just a bit too long on August Guthrie.

Tramp. Slut. Man-eater.

Tara clamped a hand over her mouth as though her thoughts were spoken out loud. She should care that Kelsey was all of the above, why? August was clearly off limits and he quite obviously enjoyed a tramp now and again.

This is strictly payback, no emotional attachments to a man she’d merely
smelled.

Tara watched carefully as each juror wrote his or her initial reaction based on Kelsey’s. Deciding whom they felt Kelsey might have chemistry with, by her facial expressions and long lingering looks.

Really
long
lingering looks.

Bitch.

Ms. Mary’s pen bobbed furiously as she scribbled on her cardboard as she cast an all-knowing sidelong look at Tara. “Well, if you don’t like August, Kelsey sure as heck does.”

Tara narrowed her eyes and reiterated her previous thought. Kelsey was a slut, of course she liked August. All sluts would.

Did that make her a slut too? No, she didn’t really
like-like
August. Tara
liked
ice cream and French fries. That was
like-like
. August wasn’t quite as high on a list of good dairy products, so she wasn’t a slut after all.

Whew.

Preston gave his arm to Kelsey and escorted her to the jury members. Kelsey’s stride was confident as she landed precisely on her mark. Presenting her to the jury, Preston asked her to tell the nice folks at home about herself.

Kelsey cocked her head to the side and smiled sweetly. Flaxen curls, lush and full flowed over her shoulders, blowing softly in the humid breeze.

Tara took a closer look at Kelsey from behind her sunglasses.
Betcha Clairol had something to do with all those flaxen curls.

Kelsey pursed her full, red lips—lips that matched her thong perfectly and gave her long overdue Miss. America speech.

“My name is Kelsey Little, and I’m from Colorado Springs, Colorado. I love the great outdoors, gardening, cooking and reading. I work at…”

—
pulling the wings off moths, frightening innocent children and sleeping with anything that walks. Oh, and naturally, world peace
. Tara struggled to keep her mouth firmly clamped shut. Kelsey sounded like a walking endorsement for wannabe wife of the year.

Did she say
read
? Puuleease. Kelsey Little read? She was lucky if she could sound out Dr. Seuss without stumbling and if Tara remembered correctly, Kelsey failed Home Ec because she burned the salad… Or something like that.

“—as an administrative assistant at a well-known advertising agency, ” Kelsey continued. Pretty as a picture, she spoke with poise and grace, turning once more to wink at the camera.

Tara was going to gag. Would gagging be inappropriate on national television? Oddly, the presence of the cameras was Tara’s least concern now that her nemesis was but mere feet away.

Preston asked her a series of questions ending with, “How about you tell the nice folks what qualities you’d like in a potential husband, Kelsey? ”

Oh, yes, please do
. It was like placing your husband order at a fast food joint.

Kelsey paused a moment in thought. “Someone who’s honest and forthright, a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to say so. Kind, considerate, a sense of humor is especially important, and if he’s good looking, I won’t be unhappy. ” She flashed another smile, white and perfect.

Can I have fries with my new husband, please?
How many brain cells did Kelsey lose, rehearsing that load of shit? Takes time to perfect such bullshit.

Probably as much time as Tara had spent convincing herself, and anyone else who would listen to her, what her motives for being here were.

Guilty as charged, your Honor.

“Now, Kelsey, meet the jurors who will help you choose the man of your dreams. First up, Mary DeWitt…”

Tara held her breath as Preston got around to her introduction. She bit her lip and fought not to scream as Kelsey stood before her, smiling and posing for the jury. A fake, a liar… Tara could barely focus on Kelsey for fear that she’d reveal Tara for who she once was.

A fat, unpopular, dateless ex-dork.

Accused unfairly of sleeping with everybody’s favorite, Evanston High sweetheart’s boyfriend, taunted endlessly for her nude scene debut in the locker room hallway for months on end.

Tara lifted her chin, even as her cheeks burned over remembering Kelsey’s harassment. Tara refused to show any signs that Kelsey had torn her world to shreds in one horrifying act of cruelty. As she sat in her jury chair, facing the now woman who’d made her life a living Hell, her pride refused to allow Kelsey the satisfaction of seeing her squirm. Tara felt fat and awkward all over again, even if she really wasn’t, but she would
never
let Kelsey know it. Her nemesis was now her prey … and if Tara could only keep that clear in her mind, that she had leveled the playing field and she and Kelsey were equals in the bod department, she’d be okay.

“Kelsey Little, meet your jur y foreman, Tara Douglas. Tara hails from your very own home state of, Colorado. You may remember her from high school. She was the president of the trigonometry club and all round four point O student. Currently, Tara’s a chemist in a perfume factory and aspires to create her own line of perfume one day. ”

Tara watched Kelsey’s eyes flash something unidentifiable, waiting to see if she’d tell the world at large they didn’t really know-know each other. Tara smiled and waved with attitude, while still holding her breath until she felt like she might have to begin to breathe out of her ass.

Kelsey waved back, “Hi, Tara, how have you been? ” Very cool, very calm, very blissfully unaware. Either that or she’d honed those acting skills to a razor sharp point.

Tara let loose a long, slow exhale of relief. Then, Kelsey dismissed her promptly, setting her sights on Andy, batting her eyelashes and smiling. God she was so obvious. What a tart.

Kelsey didn’t appear, outwardly anyway, to have a clue who Tara was. Tara wasn’t sure if she should be pissed or tickled pink that her mission was semi-accomplished. How could she possibly forget what she’d done to Tara? It was despicable, unthinkable— totally going to work in her favor.

Well, Tara thought, if Kelsey didn’t know who she was now, she sure would…

* * *

“No.”

“What do you mean
no
?”

“I just don’t think he’s right for Kelsey. ”

“Are you kidding me? He has the kind of body that’s lickable from head to toe!” Ms. Mary squawked.

Tara sighed and tried to behave reasonably. So much for manipulating the jury. “I’m only trying to suggest that August didn’t seem to share much chemistry with Kelsey. Isn’t chemistry a part of the ‘marriage’ package? Lickable doesn’t seem to be a quality that’s a requirement.” She was a chemist, she knew these things.

Mary swatted at Tara with her now, men’s size twelve, knitted baby bootie. “They had so much chemistry you could set a house on fire with the fumes alone. What’s your beef with August?”

Tara calmly sipped her pineapple juice and measured her words carefully. “I have no beef with August, Ms. Mary. I don’t even know him, for goodness sake. I just didn’t see it the way you did.” Tara watched the faces of her fellow jurors carefully, especially Ms. Mary’s. Everyone seemed convinced but her.

“Then you need glasses, girlie,” Mary chided.

Tara clenched her teeth. As they sat around the table in the jury room, lollygagging over the “right” choice for Kelsey, Tara twiddled her thumbs. How hard could this be? It wasn’t exactly brain surgery…

“How about we set aside August for a minute and focus on the other nine contestants that we need to choose?” Andy interjected.

What a load of shit this was. Ms. Mary was determined to give August to Kelsey on a silver platter.

This troubled her, why?

Tara shook her head. It didn’t trouble her.

Um, yeah, it did.

Tara sighed again. Okay, so maybe it did, but only a
little
and only because Kelsey-Fabulous-Little got whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it even when Tara was so damned determined to see to it she didn’t!

Fine, just freakin’ fine. She’d let Kelsey have August… This round, anyway. A noble gesture on her part indeed.

Tara stood up and waved the final voting sheet. “How does everyone feel about August going to the next round? All in favor say ‘aye’.”

Every damned one of them confirmed the “aye”.

Well, hell.

“Okay, so August, Vinny, the Italian Stallion…” Tara cringed thinking about Vinny’s tattoo, he was just … well, just … icky was the word that came to mind. But, he might make a nice little partner in life for Kelsey.

Who’s your daddy?

* * *

The evening was officially a free-for-all. Each contestant, member of the jury and Kelsey were invited to a barbeque, monitored of course, by the crew so no funny stuff went on. Henry had made that clear. The jury could watch Kelsey in a relaxed atmosphere and see how she interacted with all of the contestants together and for the contestants to strut their stuff for the jury. It was probably more like an opportunity for the camera crew to get some embarrassing footage of contestants doing stupid stuff as they chugalugged a Tiki Tornado.

Tara sat on her chair at the bar, watching from a short distance as Kelsey pawed August Guthrie. Flirting and cooing her ass off.

Well, not totally
off,
that would be like turning water into wine. Tara snickered. It wasn’t a nice thought, but it was the truth. Tara never thought the day would come when she could say her ass was in better shape than Kelsey’s. She couldn’t get over how much Kelsey had changed and how completely unaware she seemed to be of that fact. Even more surprising, Kelsey didn’t even remember who Tara was. Tara had suspected she wouldn’t, but it took a great deal of the fulfillment factor out of the game for her. She was just another victim in a long line of Kelsey’s antics, but the ugliness of the act should have at least rendered a glimpse of recognition, left some kind of impression on Kelsey. Of course, that would require mental retention on Kelsey’s part and that was probably stretching the bounds of her teensy-weensy perimeters.

“Hey, Tara!” Diana smiled as she floated past her with a plate full of barbecued chicken. “Today was really something, huh? ”

Tara smiled and nodded wearily. “It was and I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.”
And feeling more than a little relieved that I haven’t been caught yet.

Diana laughed and shook her head. “Nah, I’m a night owl and all off schedule from jet lag. You gonna join us?” Diana pointed to the table two rows away.

“Maybe in a bit. I think I need to catch my breath. ”

“Okay, well if you change your mind, you know where we are.”

Tara smiled and waved Diana off just as she caught a glimpse of Kelsey’s pink nails when they flashed under the tiki torches, making yet another pass over August’s forearm.

Tara gritted her teeth and fo lded her hands together. Wasn’t that special? Kelsey might look different, but her tactics were ever predictable when it came to a manhunt.

August leaned back a bit against the bar and smiled with what
looked
like a polite response to the tramp’s roaming hands.

Or was that just wishful thinking? His profile under the light of the torches seemed rather stoic, as if he wasn’t at all interested in Kelsey. That just wasn’t possible, was it? Everyone wanted Kelsey Little, including August Guthrie. Tara wondered what August’s story was. Auggie needed some cash and a little rumble between the sheets.

Andy came up behind Tara’s chair, making her jump and startling her. Tara tilted her head back and smiled up at him. “Hey you, how’s it going? ”

Andy grinned. “You looked so serious, whatcha thinkin’?”

“I was just wondering why men like Aug—um, like these men, who look like they do, need a reality show to win a wife? I mean they don’t look like the kind of guys who lack female attention. ”

Andy shrugged and said, “I hear August was hot for Kelsey in high school and I can tell ya, from this guys perspective, the money is a pretty good gig.”

Tara didn’t hear the last part of Andy’s answer because her ears were still glued to August was hot for Kelsey in
high school
.

Who the hell was August Guthrie and how did he know Kelsey Little? Had he really been in her graduating class? It was a big class, but no, Tara would have remembered a name like
August
, no matter how large her class was. Even when she’d met him at the water fountain his unusual name didn’t ring a bell. Maybe he was younger than she was? Oh, God she didn’t need this now … what if August knew what had happened to her with Kelsey? He wanted to win her and if he wanted to win badly enough, maybe he’d rat Tara out.

Shit, her head screamed, while her mouth said to Andy, “Money? I don’t know Andy, that’s a pretty serious commitment, no matter how much money’s involved.”

Andy chuckled, “Yep, it sure is, but it’s only a year and she’s okay looking. I guess after a year you can get yourself a Hollywood divorce.”

Tara patted Andy’s hand and shook her head at his very male take on marriage. “If you go into marriage that way, you may as well not bother.”

“Well, it
is
a million bucks,” he said as he moved from behind her, his eyes obviously drawn to Diana, who waved to him from the table. “Come join us, Tara.”