Alive (The Crave) (21 page)

What did I do? Did I hold his hand wrong?
These were just two of the questions tormenting Eve as she walked out of the elementary school. She couldn’t help the excitement she felt when she saw Gage’s car parked in his usual spot, waiting for her. She managed to push it away, and did probably one of the hardest things she had ever done in her life—instead of going over to his car she turned and started walking toward the parking lot exit.

She wasn’t going to make any assumptions. He probably wasn’t even there to pick her up, but to laugh at her and rub it in that he didn’t want to give her a ride home.

She hadn’t made it far when she heard footsteps behind her.

“Eve!”

She didn’t stop walking at the sound of his voice, even though every part of her being screamed for her to.

“Wait, what the heck? Where are you going?”

“Home.” She still didn’t turn around, but kept walking. If she looked at him, she would crumble.

“I’m giving you a ride. Like always.” There was a pleading in his voice. Eve tried hard to ignore it, but she couldn’t disregard the heat of his hand when he grabbed her upper arm, jerking her to a stop.

“What do you want, Gage?” She could hear the exasperation in her voice and was instantly saddened that she had let herself come this far. She had always watched girls fall for guys who clearly didn’t want them. She watched plenty of them give their heart away to someone who didn’t want it to begin with.
I’m that girl.

“I’m here to give you a ride home.”

Eve stared down at his worn cowboy boots, the ones he always wore, still refusing to look at his face.

“Look, there’s no reason for you to walk home. Just let me give you a ride.”

Eve couldn’t fathom why he was pushing this, why had giving her a ride had become important to him when she was as good as invisible to him otherwise? She looked up at him, into his expressive gray eyes and was lost. Just like she knew she would be. And then he was leading her to his car. His large hand warm against her arm, even through the fabric of her long-sleeve shirt, as if she had never protested at all. Her body was magnetized to his, like she couldn’t stay away from him no matter how hard she tried.

His hand rested on the steering wheel in his normal lazy fashion. His eyes were glued to the road and the radio was playing quietly in the background. Nothing was different. He was wearing the red basketball playoff tee that the school had been selling for the last week. His body was relaxed like he didn’t have a care in the world. He wasn’t bothered by the fact that she was hurting. Granted he didn’t know, but he probably wouldn’t have cared if he did. His life was perfect. Perfect girlfriend, perfect body, perfect smile, perfect future. And what did Eve have?
A crush on Mr. Perfect.
Which was equivalent to having nothing.

He gave her a ride home every week…but why? What reason was there behind it?
Pity.
The word was life a knife slicing at her insides. She didn’t want anyone’s pity, especially not Gage’s. She wanted a lot of things from him, but pity wasn’t one of them.

“I don’t want you to give me a ride home anymore.” The words rushed out of her with a burst of hot air. She didn’t
really
want these car rides to end. They were the highlight of her life, but to what end?

“What?” He was staring at her, his dark brows furrowed.

“I just…would rather that you didn’t anymore. That’s all.” She looked down at her denim skirt and smoothed her hands over her thighs.

He was quiet for what seemed like forever and Eve could feel the tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.
Just hold it in. You’re almost there.
She could do this. She could make it home without crying.

“I’m going to keep giving you a ride home.” His voice was gruffer than moments before.

“What?” She looked at him again. He was staring at the road, though he was no longer lazily steering with one hand. Both hands were on the wheel gripping the black surface.

“You heard me.” He still didn’t look at her.

She shook her head in disbelief. “No.” Never in her life did she think she would have the strength to deny him, but it was there. She did it and she felt stronger for it.
I’ll be okay.

“Yes, Eve.” He was looking at her again. The strangest emotion reflected in his eyes. She couldn’t place it.

Anger flushed her cheeks. “I said no.”
Why is he being so difficult?
Part of her was thrilled.
He’s fighting for me!
But she knew better. Boy’s like Gage didn’t fight for anything. Everything was handed to them on a silver platter.

“Dammit, Eve.” He jerked the car into the parking lot of the old Church of Christ that was no longer used. “Why are you making this so hard?” The frustration on his face seemed to be etched into every feature.

“I’m not…what are you even talking about? I’m—”

“The average person spends about twenty thousand minutes of their life kissing.”

“What?” Eve blinked, processing his words.

“Yes, I read that somewhere.” His words were husky. He flexed his hands around the steering wheel and looked at her, the emotion in his eyes burning full force, sending a wave of heat washing over her body. The attraction that sizzled in the air between them seemed to flare like an unruly flame.

“How could anyone know that?” she asked breathlessly.

He didn’t respond, but his darkened gaze focused on her mouth and she felt it like a caress against her skin. “Have you ever been kissed, Eve?”

She should have gotten out of the car right at that moment and walked away. She had no business being in the car with him at all. But she didn’t. In spite of everything, she wanted to be there. In the car with the most handsome boy she’d ever seen, talking about kissing in an old church parking lot.

She shook her head no, finding herself speechless. The corner of his mouth crooked in a smile that didn’t show his teeth. His gaze flicked to her eyes and back to her lips and then he was kissing her.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Eve stared up at the dingy light bulb overhead to avoid looking at Gage. The silence that hung around them was only punctuated by the moaning gurghs across from her. She had her back against Estelle’s stall, since it was now vacant, and Gage had his back to the barn wall to her right making it hard to look anywhere, but at him.

Not looking at him only made her think about how hungry she was. She’d spent most of the last four years hungry, so it was nothing new, but it had been awhile since she had gone almost twenty-four hours without eating. Her stomach rumbled, though even in spite of her hunger, there was no way in hell she was going to eat the food the girl had brought. The meat on the plate was charred pretty badly, but that wasn’t why she didn’t want to eat it.

The knowledge of where the meat came from only made Eve want to throw up and the way it smelled…she had no doubt that it was barbequed jenk. Her and Gage hadn’t talked about the food, but it was clear he felt the same way.

Eve tried to push thoughts of sustenance out of her mind, but it only brought forth the memory of the way Gage talked to that Lurker chick. She remembered his flirty side, though he had never directed it at her. When he was speaking, she was right back in that hallway watching from the sideline while he laughed with his arm around Sally McCallister.

The feeling that swam in her chest made her want to claw his eyes out. She didn’t like vulnerability. That’s what got people killed and there wasn’t room for it. Part of her hated him for it, for everything. For showing back up and sending her life into a tail spin. Not to mention that she felt like screaming on account of not having her pack and her Craftsman. If there was anything continuous in her life, it was those things.

“You remember that my dad was a doctor.”

“What?” Eve looked at Gage and met his searing gray eyes.

“He was an ER doctor at the Presbyterian Hospital in Fenton. Do you remember?”

She nodded her head absently, not sure what that had to do with anything.

“He worked there for more than ten years, since I was a little kid.” His gaze was focused on her face still, making her feel like she was under a microscope.

“Okay…”

“I knew about your arm. I heard him telling my mom about it on Sunday morning after the homecoming game.”

Eve furrowed her brow and looked away. Her heart clenched in her chest at the memory. She remembered the African American doctor who had treated her in the ER, but she hadn’t considered he was Gage’s dad.
Will I never live down my embarrassing past?
Spending time with Gage seemed to only be a reminder of the past she could never change and the future that didn’t look much better.

“Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t start giving me a ride home until after I broke my arm…” She let her words trail off.
“I watched you walk home three times before I worked up the nerve to ask you if I could give you a ride home.”
His words earlier resurfaced, making her question everything.
Why would he do something like that? Guys like Gage didn’t get nervous especially when it came to giving some weird girl a ride home.

“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how. You were a hard person to talk to Eve. You still are.” He leaned his head to side and popped his neck. “He told me that your arm had been broken for more than twenty-four hours before you were brought into the hospital.”

Eve didn’t move. Hell, she was scared to even breathe. She didn’t like to think about that time in her life. She burned those memories along with her childhood home, though nothing seemed to be gone forever like she wanted.

“So, that’s why you started giving me a ride home? Because you felt bad for me? Or your dad told you that you had to? Was that it?” His earlier words took on a new meaning now. He had watched her walk home more than once because he didn’t want to give her a ride, but was being forced to.

“Come on, Eve. You know that isn’t true.” The sincerity in his voice almost had her believing. Only, she didn’t. Not at all.

“Whatever. It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t know why we continuously bring up the past. It’s gone. Dead. Just let it go.”

“Okay.” Gage didn’t sound like he agreed, but she hoped he would drop it. She didn’t want to walk back down depressing memory lane. “He died, you know.”

“Who?” She stared at his bare feet, that were surprisingly well-groomed for the post-apocalyptic world.

“My dad. He died at the hospital he so loved. I was the one who found him.” Raw pain was etched into his face. “We got there and people were everywhere, infected, not infected, dead. It was awful. I left my mom with Noah and went in. You wouldn’t believe the way things were in the inside…there were gurghs everywhere and they were…eating.”

“And you found him?” Her curiosity was sparked at his revelation. She suspected that his parents had met the tragic end that most people did these days, only she hadn’t really thought about how it affected him.

“Yes, but he wasn’t just anywhere. I found him in the bathroom.”

“The bathroom?”

“Yes. A small private bathroom on the bottom floor of the hospital in the ER.”

Eve frowned, wondering why that mattered.

“He wasn’t alone, Eve.” He met her gaze again, his eyes more turbulent than a violent storm. “A woman was with him, only they were both infected.”

Eve followed his train of thought and came to the conclusion that Gage had no doubt come to. “That doesn’t mean anything, though. They could have just gone in there together to hide. It doesn’t mean anything bad happened.” Eve didn’t know why she was sticking up for Gage’s dad, she didn’t know him and barely remembered him from the one time they had met.

Gage held up his hand, as if to silence her. “There was a dead gurgh on the floor too. My dad’s pants were around his ankles. He had to of died with them down cause you know how gurghs are. They’re all thumbs.” He finished with a harsh laugh, as if it was all a joke, though she knew it wasn’t.

“Maybe it’s not what you think, Gage,” she offered.

“It was, Eve.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it, even after all the years that had passed. “You wanna know the worst part?”

Eve almost recoiled at the haunted look on his face. She didn’t want to know, but she said nothing to stop him.

“I risked my life to go and find his sorry ass. I wanted to save him for my mom. She was so fucking worried about him. I made it out alive, but my mom…she didn’t.”

Eve bit down on her lips and instantly wondered what it would have been like to love her parents the way he loved his. She could tell, even though he hated his dad for what he had done, he still loved him and mourned him.

Eve had felt nothing but relief that her parents were gone on that faithful night that she burned the house down with them inside. She was glad that she hadn’t loved them. The pain reflected in Gage’s eyes let her know that she had been saved from more heartbreak.

She scooted over, moving her body next to his and wrapped her arms around him. She wasn’t good at comforting people. Truth be told, she had never done it. Her sister had always cringed away from her touch, and when it came to others, well that was as far as her options went when it came to people she had the chance to console.

Gage didn’t shy away from her; he seemed to welcome her touch. He didn’t cry, but leaned into her like he had been waiting years for her to hold him, lying his head against her uninjured shoulder. She held him stiffly against her for a few moments before she finally relaxed and let herself enjoy the embrace, reveling in the feel of his hot skin against her body. She tried to convince herself that she was only doing this as a way to convince him to get her backpack when they got out of there.
If
that Lurker bitch came back like her love-sick eyes had promised.

Tentatively, she ran her fingertips against his shoulder. He shuddered against her, sending white-hot heat spiraling to her core, proving that touching him had nothing to do with wanting her bag. She bit back the moan that tried to claw its way out of her throat.