Alive (The Crave) (25 page)

Instead she wrapped her arms around him and put her life in Gage’s hands.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Eve’s life became a blur after her body was almost completely submerged in the luke warm water of the rushing stream. If she had been thinking clearly, she would have been thankful the water wasn’t freezing cold, that it was summertime instead of the dead of winter. As it was, she did something that she hadn’t done in a long time. She prayed.

Her relationship with God since the Crave had been mostly non-existent for a lot of reasons. Her main one being that she didn’t believe that God even existed. How could he, after the life she had led? What kind of God would subject a child to that much suffering?

But with her arms wrapped firmly around Gage’s tight physique, his body swimming hard against the rushing water to save both of their lives, Eve realized something. That she was terrified, of course, but also that her feelings for Gage—whatever they were—were stronger than how she felt about herself. She realized that him swimming across the water with her body wrapped around him made his chances of getting across a lot slimmer than if he’d swam across by himself. She could be the reason that he died. She prayed for Gage’s strength, for his ability to swim across and not for her well-being, but for his. The words came streaming out of her mouth as she clung to him. He didn’t hear her against the roar of the water, but that was how she wanted it. This was between her and God.

She wanted to yell at God and ask him why he let this happen, why the world was so fucked up, but she didn’t. She pushed those thoughts away and thought only of Gage. She even said a small prayer for her sister.

The time in the water felt like hours, but she knew it was much shorter. And then it was over. Her feet were planted firmly on the opposite shore. She looked back at the other side where the jenks were frantically trying to follow them, but being swept away. Gage had been right, maybe there was no such a thing as ‘swimmers’.

With her hand back in his, they ran. They said nothing as they hurried through the wild landscape. They saw no other jenks as they went, with an unspoken understanding between them—there would be no slowing down. The image of the runners chasing them was enough the keep Eve’s bloody feet moving. She wanted to be as far away from those things as possible.

Sometime later, they came up on several big barns, all of which seemed to be in okay condition. Their panicked gait slowed and Eve took in the big buildings. The sunrise wasn’t far off, pink hues played along the east horizon, alerting Eve of just how long they had been running.

“I can’t smell them,” Gage spoke once they had entered the big arena style barn. The dirt floor was soft, the recent rain, no doubt blowing in through the door they’d just come through.

Eve took a deep breath. “I can’t either.” She bent over, realizing that she was panting. A burning engulfed her lungs that hadn’t been there before, or at least if it had, she hadn’t noticed. She placed her free hand on her knee, her other still firmly clasped in Gage’s and sucked in a big gulp of air.

“What were you thinking, Eve?” The anger in Gage’s voice made her jerk her head up.

“What?”

“You almost got us fucking killed, and for what?” He gave a bitter laugh and flung his arms out to his sides, dropping Eve’s hand like a bad habit. “For a bag full of cash that you can’t even use? I seriously risked my life for
that?
” He looked away from her, his body bathed in the dim pink and golden light of the sky filtering in through the east side of the arena.

Aggravation bubbled under Eve’s skin. “That stuff was important to me! Not that you give a shit!” she shouted.

“I don’t give a shit?” He took two steps toward her, nearly bumping her with his broad chest. “I’m the one who doesn’t care? Where did you get that idea, Eve?” His eyes narrowed viciously. “I’m the one who has busted my ass to keep you safe. I’m the one who has taken every damn precaution in the book to try and keep you alive. I’ve put myself on the line at every opportunity to show you that I am trust-worthy, that I do give a shit about you.” He took a step back and threw his hands up in the air. “But nothing is good enough for you, is it, Eve? I could die for you and you would just write me off like I was nothing.”

“I didn’t say that.” Eve nearly choked on her words as she realized the truth in his. She didn’t want to give in and admit he was right though. It didn’t matter what he did now. The past had already happened and no amount of good deeds could fix it.

“You didn’t say what, Eve?” The resignation in his voice stabbed at her heart. And instantly she wanted to hurt him, hurt him like he hurt her all of those years ago.

“There are things,
people,
who are and will be good enough for me.” She let her gaze slide down from his face, not able to look him in the eye. The broad muscles of his chest were scratched and bloody from the branches and sticks that had torn at his skin while they ran. Mud was smeared with his blood from when he’d climbed out of the water extracting them both from a perilous fate and crawled along the muddy bank. “But you aren’t one of them.” The lie rolled so easily from her tongue she almost believed it herself.

And there it was. She looked at his beautiful face to see the hurt she had been chasing all along.

“Then it looks like this was a fucking waste of my damn time.” Gage took another step back, running a hand over his head like he always did when he didn’t know what to say.

He was leaving her, she realized. Giving up on her.
Did I really push him to this?
She had. There was no doubt about it. She’d done it from the moment she laid eyes on him in that field. She’d pushed and pushed until it broke. She’d broken him.

The tears that sprung to her eyes felt unnatural, it had been so long since she cried. “I got that money for you.” She took a step in his direction, the words pouring from her mouth as involuntarily as the beat of her heart. “You had everything.”

Gage stopped retreating, but resignation remained painted on his face.

“You were perfect. Rich, gorgeous, and popular. You had the coolest car, the coolest friends, the coolest life.” The tears that leaked from her eyes were so hot they scalded her skin. “I wanted that.”

Gage frowned, but said nothing.

“All I’d want my whole life was to fit in. To be a part. And after the Crave hit, I got my chance. I knew I would never be gorgeous and there weren’t enough people around to be popular…but I could be rich. Looting money became a huge reason for my existence. I began to crave it like jenks crave flesh.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Gage’s retort wasn’t sharp, but rather sounded like he was at a loss of what to say.

“How can you not get it?” Here she was pouring her heart out to him, and he claimed to not understand? She moved and didn’t stop until she was standing only inches away from him. “I wasn’t good enough for you back then, but the money…it made me good enough, at least partially.” She wanted to yell the words, but they came out as a whisper. “Even if I never fucking saw you again, Gage, I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to make myself good enough. For. You.” She spit the last words at him. Words she’d been dying to tell him all along.

She expected him to laugh at her, tell her that all the money in the world would never make her good enough, but he didn’t. He kissed her instead.

His lips pressed hard against hers, hot and demanding. She stumbled backward. His lips never broke contact. He followed her bumbling form back and down as she landed in a heap on the muddy ground. His tongue thrust into her mouth, probing her. She didn’t hesitate in kissing him back. This was what she had wanted, him against her, his mouth on hers.

He forced her into a laying position, his massive physique caging her like an animal with his bulging arms. She dug her fingers into his thick shoulders and his hands clamped down on her waist, biting into her skin with stinging pressure. She bit down on his lip in response and he grunted and thrust his body against hers, mashing her into the pliant earth and pressing his thick cock into her belly.

His hands released her hips and started tearing at the button of her shorts. She let go of his lip and jerked her sport bra over her head, freeing her breasts. He let out a growl and yanked her shorts down her legs, leaving her totally bare.

He fumbled awkwardly with his own pants in his haste to tear them down his legs, revealing his hard cock in the gold and pink hues that surrounded them. Eve had thought about the only time she’d had sex, so many times over the last four years. Her emotions about it running to opposite ends of the spectrum every time. She’d imagined what her next time would be like, who it would be with, what it would feel like. She never imagined she would be lying in mud in the middle of a barn with Gage’s hot body looming over hers, his chest bloody from recent wounds, and his cock bigger than before. But that’s how it happened.

Gage pushed himself in between her legs and the tip of his fat cock pressed against the wet folds of her throbbing clit. His gray gaze met hers, the intensity there reminding her of that day in class when he passed her the note that changed everything. She nodded her head, desperate for him after all these years.

In one swift thrust, his long length was buried inside of her, making her cry out and dig her nails into his skin. He didn’t stop and ask her if she was okay, but started pumping his hips like a piston powering a ship, barreling his body into her with no restraint…and she loved it. The pain melted into erotic pleasure and she begged for more.

He gave it to her, like a genie with unlimited wishes, he gave her just what she asked for, plowing into her, harder and faster, their skin slapping together. Sweat trickled down his face, dripping onto Eve’s mouth and she licked the salty droplet away, savoring Gage’s taste that was all male.

When the orgasm hit her, it came as shock, sneaking up from behind and shattering across her skin like she was made of glass. She’d had orgasms before, but nothing like this. She equivocated it with what dying would be like. Free and uninhibited. Just letting go of everything and falling into nothing. She stared at Gage who continued to pump into her body, prolonging the blissful pleasure spasming through her, until his cock seemed to thicken even more inside of her weeping pussy. She expected him to jerk out of her, but he didn’t. His dick pulsed inside of her, his thrusts becoming jerky and losing their previous pace as his face twisted in pleasure. The heat of his orgasm engulfed her from the inside out. The tremors that wracked his body seemed to go on forever, with his cock jerking inside of her. He collapsed on top of her with their bodies still entwined in the most intimate way.

Eve didn’t believe that sex could make a person love someone, like people claimed, but as he lay there on top of her, his big body still quaking in bliss, Eve wanted to tell how him she felt. She realized now that she had never stopped loving him. A part of her had known all along, but she’d hidden it in a box with the pieces of her still broken heart.

She didn’t tell him, though. And when he pulled back moments later she looked into his black-flecked gray eyes and loved him…silently.

Chapter Thirty-Four

The Before

I want to see you tonight.

The uneven scrawl of the note seemed to be tattooed across Eve’s brain. She’d read the words in class that morning and felt disbelieving that they were actually real. Even now, as she sat in the leather seat in the front of his mustang, she couldn’t really believe that she was there. The green digital numbers on the dash read 2:05AM. She’d actually pulled it off and got out of her house without anyone knowing.

Gage looked handsome as ever in a white v-neck t-shirt that clung to his muscles. His hand was on the wheel, lazy as always, though his expression was anything but.

“What happened with you and Sally?” She couldn’t help but ask. The question had been tugging at her mind all day. Along with many others.

He glanced at her before looking back at the road. “We broke up.” He shrugged his shoulders.

Obviously.
But she didn’t ask him to elaborate. Even though she wished he would say it was because of her…because he couldn’t get Eve out of his head. He didn’t say any of those things though. Just kept driving.

“Where are we going?” In light of the whole situation, she hadn’t thought about asking, though she knew he wasn’t going to take her on a traditional date. After all, it was after two in the morning.
Is this even a date?
She didn’t know what to think. But knew her lips were still tingling from his kiss on Thursday. She wanted him to do that again.

“Tim Pistol.” He put on his blinker and the Tim Pistol bridge came into view. The road went under the railroad tracks and the old bridge was covered in graffiti of all different colors, from names to lewd gestures. Going out to the old road only meant one thing. Sex. It’s where everyone in town went to get it on. There were very few people who lived off the road, and there were a lot of gas wells that provided perfect parking spots hidden away from the rest of the world.

Eve bit down on her lip. In the back of her mind, she knew there was a possibility that he would want sex, but she hadn’t exactly planned on it. He’d only just kissed her not even two days ago… sex was quite a jump.

“Why are you stopping?” He pulled up to the arched bridge and stopped before driving through.

“Look.” He pointed to the bricked wall on her right. Nervousness shot through her.
What’s going on?
But then she saw what he was pointing at. On the side of the bridge illuminated in the glow of his headlights was her name. It was splattered on the wall in red spray paint and looked freshly done. The things around it had significantly faded, making her name seem to glow above all the others. The fact that her name was on the bridge in red spray paint wasn’t even the best part. The uneven way the letters were sprawled was the handwriting that matched the letter she’d received from Gage that morning.

“And look up there.” He pointed. She glanced up above her name and saw his name just above hers in the same red spray paint. Her heart thudded hard in her chest.