Decipher (Declan Reede: The Untold Story #3) (8 page)

“The bra too,” I said, my voice hoarse with need.

With a smirk on her lips, she reached behind her and unclasped her bra. The weight of her breasts was released and I longed to hold them in my palms.

“Come here,” I murmured.

She climbed back over the bed, one leg on either side of my body. When she reached my hips, she stopped.

I shook my head. “Higher.”

She frowned in confusion, but moved further up my body, stopping around my stomach.

“Don’t you know one of the staples of an exorcism?” I asked as I hooked my hands around her arse and forced her to move higher up still.

“What?” Her thighs were level with my waist when a nervous chuckle escaped her. All the bravado and possessiveness from downstairs was gone, and yet she was still just as hot.

“The poor sucker who’s been possessed almost always ends up speaking in tongues.” I waggled my eyebrow at her as I licked my lips. The lean muscles of her arse clenched at my words, or maybe it was the sight and promise of my tongue.

Without wasting any more time with words, I used my hold on her hips to slide down the bed so that my face was under her pussy. My tongue pressed forward and I kissed her clit with the same desperation I’d kissed her lips. Her body jolted with the shock of the connection and her hips surged forward to add more pressure to the mix.

One of my hands curled around her thigh and gripped her arse to guide her hips closer to me. The other lifted to follow the contours of her body. My gaze followed my fingers as they trailed over her stomach and up to her breasts.

With her breath coming in short, sharp bursts, she leaned her hands against the headboard and held on tight. Her head dropped downward and a tiny, desperate moan left her as I grazed her clit with my teeth. When her gaze met mine, I shifted my attention from her clit to the rest of her pussy. Meeting her eyes, I pressed my tongue against her entrance. My lips curled into a semi-smile at the way her eyes rolled back when I pushed my tongue into her, slow and steady so I could relish the taste as I prolonged the sensation for her.

Seeing she was clearly enjoying the attention, I closed my eyes again and turned myself over to my other senses. The taste of Alyssa’s sweetness dancing on my tastebuds. The feel of her nipples tightening at my touch. The sound of the little moans escaping her with every thrust of my tongue or caress of her clit. Even though we’d joked about it being an exorcism, it was more like heaven.

Alyssa’s body quivered above me as I continued to lavish my attention on her pussy.

Needing to taste her, to feel her, and to hear her as she shattered around me, I added a finger into the mix. Then two. Her thighs clamped around me as she dropped her forehead onto the headboard. Her hips thrust against my mouth in erratic jerks as her soft moans grew louder and louder.

With my tongue, I traced the letters of the words
I love you
against her clit. I was up to the
L
when she came apart, but I finished the letters as she rode out her orgasm. Her first for the night. The first of many, if I had anything to say about it.

While she was still boneless with a loopy grin on her face, I shifted her so that she was resting over my hips again. To my surprise, and extreme satisfaction, she leaned forward and kissed me hard. The taste of her filled my senses as our tongues danced together.

“Lys,” I murmured as she shifted herself away from me. The movement left me bereft and wanting more.

“Relax, Dec,” she whispered back. “I’m just getting rid of these.” Her fingers trailed into the waist of my boxers and she dragged them down my legs.

The instant my cock sprung free, I was reaching for her, pulling her back against me.

“Please, Lys. I need you.” I guided her over me.

Taking the hint, she grabbed my dick in her hand and lined it up with her entrance.

“Fuck.” The word squeezed through my clenched teeth as the feeling of Alyssa’s body opening for me overtook every other sensation. It might have only been a few days since I’d last had the ability to fully experience her body, but even that was too long.

Lifting my hips, I bucked them against hers to bury myself as deep in her as I could. I wanted more. Everything. I wanted to take her in every possible way so that we could both have enough memories to carry us through until we were reunited. Maybe planning to keep her awake as long as I could was selfish, considering she’d be climbing on a plane with a three-year-old, but I couldn’t care less. Not when I needed her so desperately.

“You’re not getting any sleep tonight,” I warned as I claimed her lips again.

CHAPTER EIGHT: NOT ALONE

MORNING CAME AROUND far too quickly and with it came the realisation that I would soon be completely alone. My family would be gone. I’d have no job to go to. I’d have nowhere important to be. Nothing to do at all.

Melancholy settled over me.

When Phoebe woke, I tried to force a smile on my face, but worried that I failed. We had breakfast as a family, and I tried to keep Phoebe entertained. The last thing I wanted was for her last hours with me for a while to be miserable ones. As I played with her, trying to give her some memories so that she wouldn’t forget me, Alyssa repacked the overnight bag that had slowly been unpacked over the few days they’d been with me.

Barely an hour after we were awake, it was time to take them to the airport. I’d almost forgotten about the paparazzi until I was halfway up the drive and saw the cars from the night before were still stationed in front of my house.

My fingers gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles were white and my jaw clenched.

Alyssa’s hand came to rest on my thigh. “They’ll leave when they realise there is no story.”

“I know,” I said, more to pacify her than because I actually believed it.

The drive to the airport was quiet, stilted. Unlike when she’d dropped me off at Brisbane Airport for my flight down to Sydney, I didn’t just drop them at the gate. I found a parking space and walked them in. I didn’t want to leave them.

I didn’t want them to leave me.

We found a secluded little corner, hidden away from prying eyes. Thankfully, the paps hadn’t caught up with us before we found the quiet spot. 

When the time came that I had to say goodbye, I picked Phoebe up and held her close against my chest. It was ridiculously impossible how readily she’d twisted her little self through my life and imprinted herself on my heart. In such a short time, she owned me completely. I buried my face in her hair and told her I loved her.

“Remember your promise,” she said.

“I do.”

Alyssa gave me a questioning look and I realised in all the stress of the previous evening, I hadn’t mentioned to her what I’d promised to Phoebe. “That I’ll come up to see you as soon as I can. If you’ll have me, of course?”

“Don’t be silly, of course I want you to come up. Maybe we can tie it up with our move? Then we can all come back home together.”

The word “home” slipping so easily from her lips made my heart clench and a smile stretch across my lips. “I’d like that.”

I pulled her into my arms and kissed her in a way that probably wasn’t entirely appropriate. When we broke apart, I rested my forehead on hers for a few moments before closing my eyes and releasing a sigh.

When I couldn’t delay any longer, I cupped both Alyssa’s and Phoebe’s cheeks with my hand and said another goodbye, ready for Alyssa to lead Phoebe through security. We’d already agreed I’d go first in case any of the paps from home had caught up with us, but I couldn’t turn away from Phoebe and Alyssa until the last moment.

Once I’d left them behind me, my mood plummeted.

Why hadn’t I insisted on going with them? I had shit to sort out at home, but that didn’t seem like a good enough reason. Not anymore. Not without anyone at my side.

I’d barely gone a dozen steps away from the alcove when the vultures descended. I was thankful I was in Australia and only a race driver, not a rocker or movie star in the US. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with the constant presence of the photographers. The pack around me was only six people. If I’d had to deal with more, I would have probably gone batshit crazy. Trying to ignore their catcalls and cries for attention, I paced back in the direction of the car park.

“Hey, Reede, did you see your pretty face on the
Gossip Weekly
site?” The voice was too familiar. I risked a glance in the direction it’d come from and spotted the pap from the beach.

My fingers curled into fists at my side.

“Captured the moment you viciously attacked me real well. If I do say so myself.”

I blew out a breath through my nose, not trusting myself to unclench my teeth even to breathe.

Needing something to distract me, I turned on my mobile phone. It was the first time I’d turned it on since Alyssa had returned it to me, and it lit up with notifications. I sighed as I flicked through them all. There were at least a dozen text messages from various other drivers, mostly trying to get the lowdown on why I was out of Sinclair. Some of them I only spoke to at race meets, so I felt no obligation to call or message them back in any hurry.

Scattered throughout those messages were ones from Morgan. I knew I’d have to speak to him before too long, but I didn’t know what I’d say. He’d gone from my hero to my friend during my time at Sinclair Racing, and I wasn’t sure how to approach the situation now that I’d gone back to being a nothing. Would he even still want my friendship?

By the time I’d finished glancing over the text messages, I was at the short-term parking bay. With the small gaggle of photographers following my every step, I headed for my car. As soon as I was locked away inside the Monaro, I called message bank to listen to my messages on speaker as I headed home. I had no doubt that I’d have cars following me before long, but I was a better driver than any of the paps, so it didn’t worry me too much.

As expected, there was a stack of messages from Eden, mostly ones trying to warn me about the magazine before I turned up at Danny’s office.

How different would it have been if I’d known what I was walking into? I tried not to think about it. The worst thing I could do was start to turn over all the what-ifs in my head. After all, Danny had been set on his course. He’d set it up so that I would know exactly what was happening before he even had to say a word. I doubted me having any additional warning would have done much except given me something extra to stress over on the plane.

After Eden’s frantic messages, there were a few relatively normal ones. Mum had called to ask whether Alyssa and I would be willing to come around for a dinner before Mum’s flight overseas. I felt bad that I’d missed the message, and that I hadn’t been able to see her off in person, but at least I had spoken to her before she went.

The last message was from Dr. Henrikson.

“Declan, I saw the
Gossip Weekly
article and the press release from Sinclair Racing. I think it is important that you call me as soon as you are able. Please, do not wait for our next appointment.”

Checking the time, I decided to give him a call. After a short chat with Lucy, I was put straight through to the doc.

“Declan, I am glad you called.”

“You did ask me to.”

“Indeed. However, that didn’t mean that you would.”

A chuckle escaped me. “Ain’t that the truth?”

“You sound like you’re in a better mood than I would have expected under the circumstances.”

“Circumstances? You mean having someone try to destroy my life with a magazine article and then getting the sack on top of it all?”

“Yes. Those circumstances. How are you coping?”

“The last few days have been better than I would have expected. I’ve been able to spend some time with Alyssa and Phoebe. I’ve just dropped them at the airport now.”

“Is Alyssa aware of the article?”

“Yeah. That’s why she was in Sydney. She was . . . worried. About whether I’d have any issues.”

“Did you?”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and reminded myself that there was little to gain out of the sessions if I wasn’t honest with him. And with myself. “It was close. I was so damn tempted to drink myself into oblivion—especially when I found out Alyssa was gone.” I told him about the phone call with Alyssa’s mum and the night that followed.

“I would like you to book in some face-to-face sessions as soon as you can.”

“Uh, doc, I really don’t know how I can afford it.” The words tasted like poison in my mouth. It was the first time I’d admitted to anyone besides Alyssa that I had worries about my finances in the long term. “I don’t have a job. I don’t even know what I can do for a living. I mean, what transferable skills has being a driver given me? I don’t—”

“Declan,” he cut me off. “This is exactly the reason I would like you to come in. I know this situation is likely to set you into a long-term panic spiral. Especially with everything else that has occurred over the last few months. In regards to payment, you are entitled to ten sessions from Medicare. All you’ll need to do is get a GP referral and consultation. Outside of those sessions, we can discuss a sliding scale payment system. I’m here to help, and I think it is important we don’t lose any progress you have made in the last few weeks.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

He gave me the name of a GP. It might not have been my usual doctor, but she had a relationship with Dr Henrikson and would give me the referral to Henrikson on his word.

“Come see me on Friday afternoon; that’ll give you time to see Dr Ling for the referral.”

We set a time for my appointment, and I thanked him again. 

The conversation left me feeling a little more in control. By the time it finished, I was almost back home. Letting my eyes slide past the cars gathered in front of my house and quickly trying to find parking along the street, I pushed the button to open my garage and drove straight inside.

I had no plans for the rest of the day, but I wanted to be in a familiar setting, around the new memories I’d made of my new family. As I headed into the house, I called the GP Dr. Henrikson had recommended, making an appointment for the following day. Then I called my finance broker’s office to arrange a meeting to plan out my finances.

After I’d hung up from the broker’s receptionist, I just found a seat at my dining table and rested my head in my hands. The words I’d said to the doc came back to me. What the fuck was I supposed to do with my life? I had some basic mechanical skills, some minor race management knowledge, a little bit of an idea of sponsorships. None of those had anything to do with anything outside of racing though. Even inside the racing world, none of my knowledge was complete enough to make it a new focus.

For a fraction of a second, I wondered whether maybe I should ring Paige Wood and take the position she’d offered. Without Hunter, she’d have no lead drivers ready to step into a ProV8 car. She’d be desperate and no doubt willing to offer anything I fucking wanted.

It wasn’t worth it though.

Giving her what she wanted wouldn’t make me happy. Yes, it’d be a job. Yes, I’d still be able to race, but at what cost? She’d have my balls in a vice and she’d fucking know it.

Alone, and lost in my own thoughts, it was easy to regret not listening to Alyssa when we were kids. If I’d followed her advice, if I’d taken my head out of my arse long enough to consider that maybe racing wouldn’t be there for my entire life, I might have something else to do. Or at least a plan. It wasn’t like life came with a built-in guidance counsellor, like school.

I hadn’t realised how long I’d sat lost in thought until my mobile rang. When I saw Alyssa’s name on the screen, I leapt for the phone and had it at my ear in a second.

“We’re home,” she said. “There were no paps waiting for us, which is good. I think they’re just targeting you at the moment.”

It was something to celebrate, for sure. The last thing I wanted, or needed, was for Phoebe’s life to be made into a living hell just because she’d been saddled with me as a father.

“I still need to get Phoebe down for a nap, but I wanted to call and see how you were.”

“I’m as good as anyone can fucking expect, really.” I told her about my conversation with the doc, and my meetings the next day. “I keep coming back to the same question though, Lys; what the fuck do I do now?”

“You’ve got a little time to think about it. Maybe jump onto one of those job sites and see what grabs your attention. You’re not stupid, Dec, you can do anything you put your mind to.”

“At least one of us has some faith,” I muttered.

“When does Eden get back?”

I wasn’t sure whether Alyssa hadn’t heard my statement or if she was ignoring it. “Next week.”

“Talk to her about it then. She knows you better than anyone—”

“Except you.”

“In some ways, she knows you better than I do. Especially about this. She might have some suggestions for jobs for you.”

Life might not have a built-in guidance counsellor, but Alyssa was right. Eden knew me, knew my style, and knew the many positions that went into a race team. Maybe I’d have some way of staying around racing, even if I wasn’t driving.

“I still don’t know how I was lucky enough to get you back in my life.”

“I wonder the same thing, Dec. I really am happy.”

Her statement drew a chuckle from me. “Sure, an unemployed, drunken fuckhead with a pack of paparazzi on my tail; I’m a total catch.”

“I happen to think you are, and no one will convince me otherwise. Not even you.”

We spoke for a little longer before the sound of a key in my front door drew my attention. There was only one other person who had a key to my house.
Christina.