Enduring Everything (Marked Heart #1) (2 page)

Giving a compassionate smile, he imparted, “Amila thinks it would be good if you were a speaker there or maybe come to the house and talk to Charlotte. We love her, but she is so lost, Ren.”

“I know, she already asked,” I said, trying to get the title of Abused and Mistreated Children out of my mind.

With a sweet smile, Emerson shared, “It is good for kids to hear that life will not always be that way, that they can be happy,” before adding, “And I think it might be good for you too.”

“I told her I would think about it, Em,” I replied with a ‘drop it now’ tone.

When he hugged me again, it felt protecti
ve.

The new division of the foundation was prompted by the newest ed
ition to their household, Charlotte. I really thought they were kind of crazy for adopting a fifteen year old but Amila said the moment Emerson saw her he couldn't leave her there. I knew they were trying to help. It wasn’t the first time. Em and Amila were concerned with what was going to happen when Sophia moved out. There was a tremendous amount of research that went into that specific area of the foundation. As far as they were concerned, I had compartmentalized my whole life to cope with my childhood. It’s possible they were right, but today I didn’t want to think about it.

~

As it got later and later, everyone that attended the reception left a beer on the bar ‘for Gus’ before they headed out, until Jackson and I were the only ones left in The Bar.

Staring at the bar that was lined with bottles, I said, “I’m glad Sarah let us close The Bar down for the last time.”

“I miss Gus,” he shared.

Teary eyed, I nodded, saying, “Yea me too.”

Nudging me a little, he asked, “Hey, where did you go after the wedding?”

“Hert ask me to ride with him to the airport,” I said, wiping my eyes.

Appearing concerned, he asked, “How was that?”

Shrugging, I answered, “Alright.”

“He asked you to go, didn’t he?” Jackson questioned.

Nodding, I said, “Yea,” before he asked, “Well?”

Giving him a strange look, I asked, “Well what?”

“Are you going?” he questioned.

Shaking my head, I replied, “Why would I? Everything is here,” before blurting, “I almost forgot!” and walked behind the bar.

I picked a bottle up from behind the bar and opened it. Taking a sip, I fought back tears before setting my bottle on the bar. Jackson gave a
n, ‘I’m sad too’ smile before we headed to the back. Flipping lights off along the way, Jackson stopped when we reached The Dog House. The little room at the back of The Bar that Gus stayed in when he got in trouble with Sarah, for being himself. It was also where Jackson took me on our first date. Reaching up, Jacks grabbed the little plaque I gave Gus for his birthday and handed it to me. Hugging it tight as we left, when Jackson locked the door, we closed down The Bar for the last time.

Thankfully, Jackson drove his car because I completely forgot I had no way to get home. It was a long quiet drive to my house. I imagine we were both feeling sad about Gus and The Bar.

When Jackson pulled in my driveway, I offered, “Do you want to come in? I have cake.”

Laughing at me, he said, “Sure.”

We made it inside and I immediately walked to the kitchen.

Pulling a plate out of the cabinet, I laughed, “I had to hide a piece from Sophia. We can share it.”

When I placed the plate on the counter, Jackson stepped right in front of me, informing, “Ren, I’m not here because of the cake.”

Suddenly nervous, my stomach was in knots as I said, “But it’s pear cake.”

Shaking his head at me with a wide smile, Jackson laughed, “Alright we can share it.”

Smiling back, I turned to get another plate
.

When
I turned back around, Jackson was walking to the couch with the piece of cake in his hand.

“Oh no you don’t!” I yelled, quickly following him.

Flopping down on my couch, he flashed a smile, saying, “I remember how you share.”

Rolling my eyes at him, I fussed, “Okay, now I’m not sharing, give me my cake.”

Placing the cake on my coffee table he put his hands up, saying, “I don’t want to get injured.”

Making a face at him, I said, “And why would you just lay it on the coffee table? I don’t even want it now.”

“Come sit down with me then,” he said, still laughing at me.

Sitting down beside him on the couch, I tucked my legs under my dress and asked, “You don’t want it now?”

With a light smile, Jackson, shared, “Sophia told me she saw the necklace I gave you.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I questioned, unsure if I was ready for his answer.

Shaking his head at me, he replied, “No,” before pulling a ring out of his jacket, saying, “This is.”

Speechless, I looked at the little gold Claddagh ring that had a Wren etched into the heart.

“It’s a promise ring,” he said.

Hardly able to speak, I asked, “What are you promising?”

Leaning closer, he replied, “I already made the promise,” right before he kissed me.

When my marriage to Hert was at its end Jackson promised that one day he would put a ring on my finger, make love to me every night and kiss me every morning.
Then he swore to wait until I was ready to be with someone again. He gave me time to raise my daughter and get a handle on my life. With the revival of that promise, all my nervousness disappeared and I kissed him back.

Slowly pulling away, he offered, “I can get down on one knee if you want.”

Looking down at the ring he was still holding between us, I slid my finger into it and whispered, “Just keep your promise.”

“Every day for the rest of my life,” he whispered before I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.

2

Keeping
A
Promise

Sitting next to Jackson on my couch, I was a little confused as to why he stopped kissing me.
Waiting for a smile to spread across his face, the one that filled my heart and made it race. My eyes trailed the scar above his eyebrow before I noticed that his hair was a bit lighter now that white mixed with blonde. I felt it was understood that my answer was yes even though he didn't officially propose. Better than a proposal, it was a promise. The ring was on my finger and I was ready for everything.

Smiling wide at me, he loosened his tie before lifting my hand and
kissing my palm. Melting at his gesture, I tilted my head to the side and gave a soft smile.

"Ren, you know what I want. Don't you?" he questioned appearing sweet but serious.

Thinking, 'I thought so', I replied, "Then why did you stop kissing me?"

Laughing, Jackson shook his head and shared, "I love you."

His words flowed through me causing a sense of peace to sett
le inside me.

"I love you too, Jacks," I assured before leaning closer.

Meeting my lips with his, Jackson softly pressed them onto mine before pulling away again.

"Marry me," he urged.

My heart started to si
nk as I stared at him.

I was never fond of the idea of marriage and the year I did spend married, pretty much sealed my opinion on it. In my mind, we were better than that. I could wear Jackson's ring and promise myself to him without the title
, ownership or formality of it all.

Although I wasn't about to say no, I wasn't sure
if I wanted to say yes.

Trying to think of something to appease him, that would buy me time to give it serious thought, I said, "Why don't we talk about it in the morning?"

"You don't want to get married?" he asked.

Shrugging, I answered, "I don't see the importance of it."

Nodding at me, he shared, "I know how you feel about it but I don't want anything from you. I love you and I want to give you everything I have. I promised you I would give you all of me and that includes my name."

Nodding, I whispered, "Okay," unable to refuse.

Instantly, he pulled me to him.

Happiness flowed between us as I unfolded his tie and pulled it off. Anticipation guided my hands down the buttons of his shirt, unfastening them one at a time as he kissed me. Closing my eyes, I thought about the first time we met, the first time he kissed me and how his light green eyes were always outshone by his smile.

Pulling away, I grabbed the edges of his shirt, whispering, "Come with me."

Jackson reached up, sliding his hands into my hair before kissing me in a way that made me stumble as I stood. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders from behind, Jacks followed me to my bedroom.

Goosebumps covered my arms as I stared at the bed. Stepping around me, Jackson brushed his hand down my side and across my back as he faced me.

He softly pressed his lips to mine before asking, "Are you okay?"

Nodding, I shared, "I keep expecting someone to bust in and stop us."

"Let me go lock your front door, I'll be right back," he said with a laugh as if he had been thinking the same thing.

The second he stepped out of my room, I pulled my dress off and tossed it to the side. Sitting down on the
end of my bed, in my bra and panties, I waited for him to return.

When Jackson
stepped into my room, I smiled. Confused by the disappointed expression on his face, I scowled. Granted I was just a tad bit over forty but my body was in excellent shape. Better in fact than when I was in my twenties.

"I wanted to do that part," he shared, causing my self-esteem to soar.

Leaning back slightly, I offered, "I can put my dress back on."

"Don't you dare," he stated.

Taking his
suit jacket and dress shirt the rest of the way off before pulling his undershirt over his head, Jackson made his way over to me. My eyes focused on the wren tattooed over his heart before they explored the rest of him. Quickly noticing he was a bit more defined than I remembered, I guessed he kept in shape also. I reached up and placed my hand over his tattoo before he moved his hand to my cheek.

An involuntary sigh escaped my lips when I felt his heart beat faster under my hand as he whispered, "My Wren."

Catching
the belt loops of his slacks with my fingers, I pulled him on top of me.

The feel of Jackson making love to me was almost unreal and at the same time, it was th
e sincerest thing I had ever felt. With no awkward pauses or adjustments it was as if he was made for me. Every movement was smooth and deliberate and being with him made me feel complete.

Lying on our sides, facing each other, neither of us could stop smiling. For a moment I wondered if it would have been like this if I had given in at seventeen. Then suddenly thought
s of other girls filled my mind and I couldn't help but wonder if it was like this with them.

Pressing his lips to mine, Jacks wrapped his arms around me before asking, "What are you thinking about?"

"I think, I'm jealous," I admitted.

Tightening his hold on me he laughed, "Jealous? Of who?"

Feeling a bit silly about it myself, I shared, "All those other girls."

"What other girls?" he asked appearing confused.

With a light sigh I answered, "All the ones that weren't me."

Rolling on
top of me he smiled wide before pushing up on his hands.

Hovering over me, he gazed down assuring, "There is no one else but you. This was our first time and that's the only time that matters to me. As far as I'm concerned, no one existed before you because there will be no one after you."

In awe of his words, I said, "I forgot how smooth you are."

Jackson leaned closer, saying, "If you knew what it was like to be with you, you would understand."

Arching an eyebrow, I smirked, "If it's anything like being with you, you're a lucky man."

"I'm your man," he declared.

Nodding at him, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him against me.

3

A
Proper Proposal

My eyes fluttered open
with the feel of Jackson's lips brushing against my neck. I had no idea what time it was. It felt like the middle of the night but I could see light filtering into my room from behind my curtains.

Pulling my back against him, Jackson whispered, "Are you awake?"

Nodding, I asked, "What time is it?"

"A little after twelve," he replied continuing his way down my neck to my shoulder.

I started to say, "I need to..." before he stopped me saying, "Waking up with you is the best feeling in the world."

Leaning my head back towards him, I smiled, asking, "Is it?"

I could feel his hand slide to my hip as he shared, "Well, it's a close second."

"To what?" I laughed already knowing his answer.

Without another word, Jackson
pulled me tight against him and showed me.

~

It took a while for me to make it out of bed and into the shower. I felt exhausted and amazing all at the same time. Not that I was complaining but I wished Jacks had let me at least brush my teeth before he showed me the best feeling in the world. Being able to kiss him would have been nice and I was promised a kiss good morning. Jackson must have read my mind because the moment I stepped out of the bathroom he wrapped his arms around me, leaned me back and kissed me like his life depended on it. Stumbling a bit as he let go, I made my way to my kitchen.

After
scooping coffee into the coffee pot, I stood at my kitchen counter willing it to brew faster. Jackson's hands slid around my waist and I smiled. My smile grew wider when I felt his lips on the side of my neck.

"So when are you gonna marry me woman?" he asked.

Laughing, I turned to face him, saying, "I haven't even had my coffee yet."

Keeping his arms around me, Jackson said, "I was thinking we could go Monday to get our marriage license and if you don't have any plans for Saturday," as he smiled wide.

"You wanna get married in a week?" I blurted, unable to believe he was in that big of a hurry.

Nodding, he pressed, "I have been waiting a very long time."

As I nodded back acknowledging that he had, I reminded, "What about Sophia?"

"What if she already gave us her blessing?" he asked.

Shocked, I snapped, "Did she?"

Smiling wide, he shared, "I had to ask someone for permission to marry you and she gave us her blessing."

"When?" I asked before he explained, "I asked Hert to give us a minute before he walked her down the aisle."

Trying to adjust to the fact that my own daughter didn't give me a heads up on Jackson's proposal, I asked, "Who else knew?"

"I think everyone pretty much knew, but Sophia is the only one I told," he answered before asking, "So, does Saturday sound good to you?"

Shrugging, I replied, "I guess it's as good a day as any," desperately wishing I had more time to adjust to the idea.

"So, now that's settled, can I stay the night again tonight?" he asked, flashing a smile as if I needed convincing.

Laughing, I assured, "You better."

Nodding with a wide smile, Jacks leaned down to kiss me. I heard the coffee pot finally stop but
the moment his lips met mine I didn't care anymore. My mind ran wild. Every kiss was like a wonderful memory wrapped in sunshine and all I could do was think about our future together.

~

Snuggled up with Jackson on a chaise lounge in my backyard, I enjoyed the cool breeze and sitting close to him. I felt a little bad that I was in comfortable knit pants and a t-shirt while he still wore his slacks from the night before. However, slacks and bare feet were always sexy. He didn't seem to mind and besides, I wasn't quite ready to remove myself from the bliss we had created by either of us leaving my house.

With his arms loosely around me, Jacks smiled, asking, "So, is there anyone you need to call and tell them you can't see them anymore?"

Giving him a strange look at first, I laughed, "That was subtle."

"Really? Because I was going for direct and to the point," he said through a wide smile before pulling me closer, saying, "I don't want to know who or anything like that."

It was a logical question. After all
, I had been divorced since Sophia was one.

I gently kissed him before sharing, "There hasn't been anyone."

"At all?" he questioned.

Shaking my head, I realized how crazy that sounded.

Before the previous night
with Jackson, Sophia's biological father Henley and my ex-husband Hert were the only men I had ever been with. My relationship with Henley was all consuming until I found out I was pregnant. Sophia was the push I needed to leave him then Hert showed up and I thought things were perfect. My marriage to Hert opened my eyes not only to what was going on around me but to who I was. It wasn't like I made some grand moral decision. I refused to let myself be side tracked or have any complications in my life. Simple was my goal and the longer I went without sex the easier it became to live without it.

Looking into my eyes, Jackson slid his hand into my hair. Pulling me to meet his lips, he kissed me.
Pushing myself up, I heard the chaise lounge creak as I adjusted enough to slide onto his lap.

Resting my hands on his chest, while his other hand moved to the back of my head, I whispered, "Let's go inside."

"Wait a minute, I want to do this right," he said, leaning forward until we were both sitting straight up.

Confused, I asked, "Were we doing it wrong before?"

Rolling his eyes at me, he laughed before saying, "Woman, you have a one track mind."

Wrapping my legs around his waist, I nodded, reminding, "We just went over how long it's been."

"Can you hold on about five more minutes?" Jackson laughed.

I smiled as I rolled my eyes and let out a playful exasperated sigh as I slid off of his lap
.

Care
ful not to tip the lounge we were sitting on over, Jackson stood up. Standing in front of me, in only his dress slacks, he flashed a wide smile before getting down on one knee. Suddenly my heart was beating erratically in my chest. Shifting to face him, we were at eye level as he took my hand and placed it over the wren and Celtic heart tattoo on the left side of his chest.

"When I first met you, I thought you were cute. The first time I talked to you, I knew you were a smart ass. On our first date, when I kissed you and said not to be nervous, I was talking to myself. Even though I almost ruined our date, I knew you liked me when you said you would see me again. We claimed each other at seventeen but I'm not sure when I started to love you. I know it broke my heart when I had to leave you at your parent's house after knowing what your father did to you, when you said you wanted us to just be friends, when you came back and I found out you were pregnant and I honestly thought it was going to kill me when you got married. More than once you tried to get me to let you go but I never could. No matter how hard it was on both of us, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. I am a better man with you. You didn't steal my heart, I gave it to you. Marry me and I swear the only thing I will ever want from you is your heart in return."

Feeling his heart under my hand as he spoke and the way it would beat faster when he mentioned moments from our relationship, I replied, "Yes."

A wide smile preceded a softer one as he slowly kissed me before offering, "I'll take you inside now."

Shaking my head
, I pulled him back onto the chaise lounge with me.