Finding Forgiveness (Finding Series, Book 4) (10 page)

“Hunter, wait,” Callan said as he gently grabbed him by the arm and held him in place. Hunter couldn’t force himself to look up at Callan so he just hung there and waited.

“I saw you there that night. At the hospital.”

The statement was so unexpected that Hunter snapped his eyes up to meet Callan’s. “No,” he said with a shake of his head.

“I was coming back from the cafeteria. I’d gone to get some coffee. They’d given Finn something to help him sleep so I knew he’d be out for a bit. When I came back, I saw someone coming out of his room. He was wearing a hoodie but I could see his hair. It was so light that it almost looked white.”

Hunter sucked in a breath. “I…I heard about what happened from a guy whose mom was a nurse in the ER.”

“I didn’t know it was you till just now,” Callan said as he glanced at Hunter’s hair. “So I never told Finn. I saw your face, Hunter. Even from as far away as I was, I saw your face.”

Hunter tried to shake Callan off but the big man wouldn’t release him. “It was nothing,” he muttered as a brief image of the beating he’d gotten for trying to suggest to his father that he’d sent Finn a mixed signal went through his mind. “It wasn’t even half of what I deserved.”

“Look, I don’t know what your situation is these days but I know Finn would be okay with me telling you to make sure you’re safe first and foremost. Too many people in this town went after Finn because of who he was, not what you said. Those people won’t suddenly stop hating him or me or Rhys just because you admit what really happened that night. All you’ll do is make yourself a target.”

“I don’t think I can keep living this lie,” Hunter admitted. “I need to tell the truth, not just for Finn but for me too.”

He was surprised when Callan clasped the back of his neck with his big hand and looked him square in the eye. “I’m not asking you to hide who you are, Hunter. In fact, I’m flat out telling you right now not to. I denied who I was for so long that it nearly cost me one of the most important people in my entire life. But knowing what I know about your father – having seen the hatred he has for people like us – I need you to think of your safety first. Go to your grandmother or someone else you trust.”

“Gran…Gran and I don’t talk anymore. She knew I lied about Finn and told me I should tell the truth. I’ve been too ashamed…”

“Your grandmother loves you, Hunter. Don’t doubt that.”

Hunter shook his head. This was too much. It was all just too much.

“Then come stay with us. We have an extra room you can use till you figure something out.”

An obscene laugh bubbled up deep inside Hunter’s throat. He’d destroyed this man’s life, ruined his livelihood and nearly cost his lover his life and he wanted Hunter to move in? So he could fucking protect him?

Shaking free of Callan, Hunter took several steps away from him. “Tell Finn I’m sorry, okay? Tell him I’ll figure out how to fix things and I won’t come back to Dare - he’ll never have to see me again.”

“Hunter-”

Hunter put out his hand when it looked like Callan was going to try to grab him again. “I’ll be okay, Mr. Bale. I’m going back to school. I’ll…I’ll do what you said and make sure I’m safe before I tell everyone what really happened.”

He didn’t give Callan a chance to answer him as he turned and basically ran for his car. He automatically checked his pocket for his spoon and then cursed himself. Because the reality was that it wasn’t his spoon and his lighter that he wanted. The only thing he wanted was on a plane somewhere getting as far away from Hunter as he could.

Chapter Seven

Roman knew he was driving much too fast for the road conditions but the closer he got to his destination, the more he needed to know if this trip would be any different than the last two. It was the third weekend in a row he’d made the drive out to Hunter’s valley and he was terrified that it would be the third weekend in a row he’d be disappointed. With the last two weekends, he’d had the benefit of having enough daylight left to make it to the lake but weather in L.A. had delayed his plane so by the time he’d picked up his rental car, darkness had already fallen. And while it was only nine o’clock, it was pitch dark outside. He was lucky enough to have a full moon to guide him though and if he hadn’t been so preoccupied, he would have enjoyed the way the moon lit up the land around him.

Leaving Hunter had been one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. But that had lasted only until he tried to call Hunter the first time and got a message saying the phone had been disconnected. Because at least when he’d left Hunter, he’d known he was safe for the moment – had known he could reach out to him if he needed to or that Hunter could get in touch with him if things got bad. But when he’d lost that last link to Hunter, he’d nearly gone insane. He’d even called Malcom Greene on the pretense of wanting to see the property again. A casual question about if his son would be available to show him and his investors the property had been brushed off with a blanket statement about Hunter being busy with school but that Malcom was ready and able to answer any and all questions he had.

He’d called Gray on more than one occasion to see if he’d heard anything and his brother had promised to let him know if he had any news but there still hadn’t been any sign of Hunter. He’d learned of Hunter’s visit to the CB Bar Ranch from Luke but hadn’t gotten any details other than Hunter had gone there to talk to Finn who’d been out of town along with the hot-headed Rhys. Luke had reassured him that Hunter had left the ranch in the same condition he’d arrived in but the information didn’t bring him any closer to figuring out where Hunter was. His desperation had even led him to stalking the various buildings on the University of Montana campus where the political science classes were held. And it all had been an epic waste of time.

Roman’s jaw rattled as he hit a particularly deep rut but it didn’t slow him down. And when he finally saw his headlights bounce off of the dark green Escort parked at the end of the road, Roman let out a deep breath. And then he hit the gas. He was going so fast that he narrowly avoided slamming into the back of Hunter’s car. He jammed it into park and then snatched the flashlight off the passenger seat.

It took him just minutes to find the fork in the trailhead and he began winding his way around and over the fallen trees in his path. He smelled the campfire before he saw it and then a flash of light cut across his path as he heard Hunter call out, “Who’s there?”

Roman was close enough to see Hunter’s outline along with the rifle he held in his right hand. “It’s me,” he called just as he cleared the trees and began striding across the small clearing just above the shoreline.

“Roman?” Hunter’s dazed voice said but he didn’t move at Roman’s approach. He didn’t speak either. He simply waited and when he realized Roman wasn’t slowing down, he dropped both his gun and his flashlight.

Roman wasn’t sure if it was his arms dragging Hunter against his body or if Hunter had come to him willingly but either way he didn’t care as he crushed his mouth down on Hunter’s. And since Hunter was trying to crawl up his body so he could get even closer to him, Roman realized it didn’t matter either way. Lust shot through Roman as Hunter began grinding their hips together. Every kiss he gave Hunter was returned with fervor and any doubt he had that Hunter might not want him fled when he felt his jacket being pushed off his shoulders and long fingers tugging his shirt free of his pants and searching out the skin at his lower back.

“More,” Roman said hoarsely as he fisted his hands in Hunter’s hair to hold him still for his kiss. “I need more.”

“Yes,” Hunter breathed against his mouth.

That one word released the floodgates and Roman reached down to wrap his hands around the backs of Hunter’s thighs. Hunter must have known what he was going to do because his arms instantly went around Roman’s neck. Since Hunter refused to release his mouth, Roman had to use the fire as his guide to get Hunter to the sleeping bag he knew would be there. By the time his feet hit the fabric, Hunter had wrapped his legs around Roman’s waist and locked them in place so instead of lowering Hunter to his feet, Roman let himself sink to his knees and then he was pushing Hunter onto his back and covering him with his body. On any other day he would have been happy just to lay there and explore Hunter’s sweet mouth but he was too raw and needy from the weeks of not knowing if Hunter was okay to linger so he ripped his mouth free of Hunter’s and closed them over Hunter’s neck and sucked hard. Hunter moaned and bucked his hips up against Roman. Using his greater weight, Roman forced Hunter’s hips flat again and then rubbed their erections together as his hands sought out the hem of Hunter’s shirt.

Instead of removing the shirt, Roman slid down Hunter’s body and then shoved the shirt up just enough to reveal Hunter’s lightly muscled chest. He felt Hunter stiffen when Roman’s lips skimmed over a patch of jagged skin and he didn’t need to look to know what he was feeling. Instead of ignoring the scar, Roman kissed it softly and then gave the next one a little farther down the same treatment. With each caress, the tension eased from Hunter’s body and by the time Roman’s fingers began working his jeans open, Hunter was writhing beneath him once more.

Roman managed to get the button and zipper open but when he went to pull the jeans down, he hesitated and then looked up. His breath caught when he saw Hunter watching him, his hungry eyes filled with so much emotion that Roman felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

The sight of Hunter catching his lower lip between his teeth as he nodded had Roman’s dick swelling even more and he quickly worked Hunter’s jeans just low enough to release Hunter’s cock. His mouth watered at sight of the long, curved shaft and leaking crown and he didn’t hesitate even for a second to suck as much of the velvety flesh into his mouth as he could.

“Roman!” Hunter shouted in wonderment. Roman managed to look up to see that Hunter was leaning up on his elbows so he could watch but his head was thrown back. He didn’t need to see Hunter’s face to know the pleasure he was experiencing because Roman could feel Hunter’s whole body jerking beneath his hands with every drag of his mouth up and down Hunter’s dick. As soon as Hunter lifted his hips to try to get deeper into Roman’s mouth, Roman spread his palms over the smooth globes of Hunter’s ass and then held him tight so he could control Hunter’s thrusts into his mouth. But he didn’t last as long as he would have liked because Hunter’s moans were driving him insane and he could feel his own orgasm threatening to crest whether he was ready for it to or not. And as much as he was enjoying the feel of Hunter’s hot flesh kissing the back of his throat, it wasn’t enough. Not even close.

With that in mind, Roman released Hunter and then dragged him upright and kissed him hard. “I need you,” he said in a guttural voice as he searched out his wallet and fumbled around for the condom and pack of lube he kept there. Even though he had to take his gaze off of Hunter long enough to find the supplies, Hunter’s fingers never stopped touching his neck and face as he pressed sweet kisses along his jaw and cheek. The show of trust was humbling and managed to cool Roman’s ardor enough to allow him to kiss Hunter long and deep. As he did, he wrapped his arm around Hunter’s waist and then lifted him enough so he could maneuver them so that Roman was lying on his back on the sleeping bag. Hunter seemed surprised by the change in position but when Roman handed the condom to Hunter and then began working his own pants off his body, Hunter just looked at him in confusion.

“Have you put one of these on before?” Roman asked when Hunter didn’t move.

“Um…in health class we had to put them on bananas but I’ve never put them on someone else before…” he said and then his whole countenance froze as Roman slid his underwear off. Roman’s cock was so heavy with need that it bounced against his abdomen for only a second before bobbing upright again.

“Did you ever put one on yourself?” Roman asked.

Hunter was still too focused on his dick to respond so Roman fell silent as he waited. And the second Hunter’s questioning gaze lifted to meet his, Roman nodded in silent permission. Hunter licked his lips and then reached out a shaky hand. His fingers barely touched Roman’s cock on their first pass but his dick did its own version of a happy dance and twitched hungrily. Fascinated, Hunter ran his thumb over the slit and Roman bit back a curse. With each hesitant touch, Hunter grew a little bit more emboldened and within a minute he was eagerly closing his hand around Roman and giving him little tugs.

“I can’t,” Roman muttered as he sat up and kissed Hunter hard. “I’m not going to fucking last if you keep doing that,” he ground out. “And I’ve needed this since the first time I felt these beautiful lips on mine.” He kissed Hunter again, more softly this time and said, “I promise you can touch me as much as you want after, okay?”

Hunter nodded and then a shy smile spread across his lips. He searched out the condom which he’d dropped at some point and then tore the wrapper open. He carefully removed it from the packaging but when he reached for Roman’s dick, Roman grabbed his wrist.

“I want you inside of me, Hunter.”

***

Hunter was sure he’d heard Roman wrong. No way would a big, strong, experienced guy like Roman let someone like him…

“Stop it,” Roman whispered and he felt Roman release his wrist long enough to reach up and sift through his hair and then gently hold him still for another bone melting kiss. “Stop thinking it.”

“Sorry,” he said softly. “It’s just that you’re more experienced, older, stronger…”

“Truth?” Roman said. “Yes, I almost always top because sex was never just about pleasure for me…it was about power and control. For me, bottoming means trusting the person you’re with to take care of you. It means making yourself vulnerable. I’ve never wanted that with anyone else – I never wanted anyone to see that part of me. I want you to see it. Don’t ask me why because I’m too scared to ask myself that same question. Just…just know that I need this and if I’m lucky enough for you to show me the same trust someday, then you’ll know what it feels like to be so deep inside of someone that you don’t know where they end and you begin. Because I know without a shadow of a doubt that that’s what it will feel like when we’re together.”

Hunter was so overwhelmed that he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He slammed his lips down on Roman’s and forced him on his back as he thrust his tongue into Roman’s mouth. Roman’s tongue was there to welcome him and as they played, Hunter reveled in the feel of their cocks sliding against each other. It took everything in him to release Roman’s mouth and rear back to his knees so he could fumble with the condom. He got distracted when he saw Roman rip open the pack of lube and spread some on his fingers and he knew his mouth was hanging wide open as he watched those same slickened fingers disappear between the globes of Roman’s ass. Some unnamed force of courage went through him and he lowered one hand to pull Roman’s hot flesh back just enough to watch two of Roman’s fingers buried deep within his own body. Every twisting and thrusting motion of Roman’s fingers had Hunter’s dick bobbing in anticipation and he felt more moisture well up from the tip when Roman’s digits popped free of his hole.

“I’ve never…I’ve never done this with anyone,” Hunter said lamely as he forced his eyes back to his dick and tried desperately to get the condom on. Big hands settled over his and gently took the small piece of latex from him. Lips coasted over his briefly as the condom was rolled down his length.

“Just do whatever feels good. I guarantee I’m going to like everything you do to me.”

He got another kiss and then Roman asked, “What position do you want me in?”

Fuck, he had no idea. He had no idea about any of this. But one look at Roman’s dark eyes and he realized he did know. “I want to see you,” Hunter whispered.

The look that passed through Roman’s gaze left Hunter reeling but before he could think on it too much, Roman was laying back down and pulling his legs up and opening them wide. His big fingers closed over his own ass cheeks and spread them and Hunter nearly choked on the sight of the small hole that greeted him. Jesus, how would he ever fit into something so small without hurting Roman?

Hunter moved forward on his knees which was awkward since he hadn’t thought to take his jeans all the way off. His fingers shook as he guided his cock to the entrance to Roman’s body and he looked up just to make sure Roman was okay. Roman nodded and then exhaled just as Hunter pressed forward. Logically he knew there would be resistance but a jolt of fear that he would end up hurting Roman if he went too fast had Hunter hanging there, the tip of his cock still mostly visible.

“Hunter…”

Roman’s broken whisper caught his attention and he glanced up to see Roman’s desperate eyes on his – desperate, not pained. Desperate, not scared. Desperate…for him.

Hunter applied enough pressure so that his crown finally pierced Roman’s body and sank inside. The heat and pressure were terrifyingly good so he maintained his forward motion until another couple inches of his cock disappeared. Instinct had him pulling those same inches back out and then sliding back in again. He repeated the move over and over until his balls were flush with Roman’s sensitive skin. Roman had released his grip on his own ass at some point and Hunter saw that he was fisting the sleeping bag. Uncertainty went through him as he tried to read Roman’s face but he couldn’t tell if he was in agony or ecstasy so he gently leaned forward and brushed his lips over Roman’s.