Heart of the Wild (14 page)

Gina finally woke up, stretched and headed for the kitchen almost immediately. They took turns with their baths, and put everything away before the men returned. The big galvanized tub was too heavy for one person, so they helped each other move it and fill it then slowly took it to the door to drain it. Kasie literally rejoiced in her first real bath. Amory's idea of a taking spit baths just wasn't enough.

"I'm famished," Gina said, casting her a glance.

"There's some fresh biscuits and bacon on the stove top," Kasie informed her, as Gina put finishing touches to her make-up and hair.

"Great, did you fix this?" Gina asked, as a few minutes later she bit into a biscuit.

"Only in self-preservation."

"That's what I thought, those two out there would just as soon eat beef jerky for breakfast, and they both know how to cook."

"Have you known them long, Gina?"

"I've known Tanka about three years. I met him on a ski trip. He introduced me to Chayton. We've been best of friends ever since."

"You're in love with Tanka, aren't you?"

Gina turned about to look at her, her face screwed up. "Yes, of course."

"He's nice. I just wish he liked me."

"But he does. He's just a little protective of his brother. That's all. He said you are about the only woman that has ever stood up to his brother and won. For that he admires you. But he acknowledges you have the power to hurt him, too."

"Me? Amory's too tough to hurt. Besides, I'm not interested in Chayton Amory. I'm going to be married, remember?'

"So you said. Tanka is the best man I've ever known. Except maybe your Rick Springer, I mean the man is ultra gorgeous."

"Yeah…I guess. His looks are not what attracted me to him."

"Really, what attracted you to him, then?  His money?"

Kasie shook her head, "He's not controlling. I like that."

"A free spirit?" Gina giggled. "But he's bound to have a million admirers, doesn't that bother you?"

"Not really….I can cope."

"So…how long have you known Chayton?" Gina flopped on top of the bed.

"I met him eight years ago, when he came down to help my dad on a project. Tanka joined him later."

"Why do you call him Amory? Everyone else calls him Chayton." Gina played with the comforter on the bed, funning her polished nails through the softness.

Distance! Kasie's mind screamed. "Habit, I guess."

"Tanka tells me you and Chayton almost married. What happened, or would you rather not talk about it?" Gina glanced up at her.

Trying to make light of it, Kasie shrugged. "It just didn't work out, is all."

She still felt that strange sadness, every time she thought about her and Chayton, as though she'd lost something.

"That's too bad. I think the two of you would make a good couple." Gina didn't ask for details, and Kasie was glad.

"Me? And Amory?"

"Yes."

"Never!" He's too much like my father. "Overbearing."

"I just don't understand why you didn't fall for Tanka instead." Gina giggled.

"Chayton had been with my dad longer, working with him. Tanka showed up a lot later. And he didn't like me at all, back then. Probably thought I was a big pest."

"God, I think Tanka is gorgeous, he looks more Indian than Chayton, I think. Direct descendants of Crazy Horse."

"He does have beautiful black hair. I know a lot of women who'd die for that kind of hair. And a very charming smile."

"A lot of us up here are Indian, you know. I'm half myself. On my mother's side. Does Chayton being Indian have anything to do with you not wanting to marry him?" Gina seemed to wait for the answer.

"Why, no, where'd you get an idea like that?" Kasie whirled to look at Gina.

"From Tanka actually. He said something to that effect. I'm glad. So, are you really going to marry Rick Springer?"

Kasie shrugged again, not so sure of her own answer. "I suppose so. If he still wants to when I return."

"I almost envy you. Aren't you excited?"

"Well, don't envy me. Rick's just a man, Gina. He's only human. And I'd be a lot more excited if my father hadn't insisted on seeing me. And my mother hadn't completely taken over the wedding plans."

"I can't believe you don't worship the ground he walks on."  Gina shrieked.

When Kasie fell silent, Gina prodded her.

"What's he really like?"

"He's nice."

"No—o. I mean what's he really like."

In bed, she meant, Kasie surmised, sensing a headache coming on. "He's very good."

"I knew it, he had to be. He's so gorgeous. It must be thrilling. Going on tours, and all the fanfare."

One little lie wouldn't hurt. Gina expected her to have gone to bed with Rick, how could she disappoint her? Besides she'd look downright prudish if she told everyone she'd never been to bed with a man.

However, she hadn't expected Gina to blurt it out at the supper table, nor Amory to walk out of the cabin, slamming the door behind him. It was she that should have been walking out with embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Have I spoken out of turn?" Gina cried.

Tanka glanced at the door, then at Gina with a frown, "Don't fret, my pet."

After a night of silence, Kasie decided to do something constructive. She hated being idle. One of her first projects was to construct a privacy curtain between the kitchen and the rest of the house so that she and Gina could take baths in private. Amory found some worn out blankets, and Kasie proceeded to sew a curtain.

"You sew very well. Never figured you as domestic," Amory said, as he examined her handiwork with surprising appreciation.

"Julia taught me," she blurted out almost automatically. Damn, she hadn't meant to mention Julia.

"Julia?"

"Yes, my nanny."

The expression in Amory's eyes grew serious. "You had a nanny?"

"She lived with my mother. Mother was rarely home…"

"Naturally."

"It's not such an uncommon thing among my mother's circles."  Kasie quickly defended.

"It must have been pretty rough not having a close association with your mother—or your father."

"You learn to roll with the punches, as they say. Both my parents have always been more interested in making money than messing with their inquisitive and mischievous daughter."  She couldn't look at him, he knew too much…

He shot her a contemplative look, as though he might be reconsidering her.

But it didn't matter if he sympathized with her or not. She had to get out of here! Swamped with emotions she didn't want to deal with she avoided direct eye contact with Amory as often as possible.

Then one dreary afternoon, Kasie saw her chance to get away, when a helicopter dropped supplies to the cabin.

She sneaked out the door as Tanka and Gina headed out. They were always sneaking off to some cubbyhole to make out. She tried to catch the pilot just before he took off.

She missed the helicopter.

Kasie let her bag drop to the snow with a crunch, grimacing as the copter and her freedom flew away. Gina and Tanka spotted her, saying nothing, and hurried inside with the supplies.

Chayton wasn't to be seen until she heard someone behind her. She knew who it was, even before she looked. She recognized the sound of his crunching boots, the sound of his thundering voice as it shot through her, and a familiar woodsy odor filled the air. More than that, she felt his presence, his nearness by the way the hairs on the back of her neck pricked when he was around.

"Going somewhere?"

Kasie's shoulders fell with a decided slump. "I—I guess not."

She could feel his eyes on her, feel the flint of his gaze. Why all her senses were alive around this man, she didn't know. Didn't want to know. She only knew it hurt to be with him, and it hurt to be without him. It made no sense, it had been so long, and now all the old memories flooded her.

"Be patient, Kasie, it won't be for much longer."

"It's been over a week now," she reminded him. Her voice almost broke, but she cleared her throat. She had to steel herself against her own emotions. "I don't suppose it has ever dawned on you or anyone else around here, but I do have a life back there. I've probably already lost my job and ..."

"Yes, and Rick?" he finished flatly. "We realize, but maybe it's all for the best. I mean, if the guy couldn't wait a week or two, perhaps your father was right all along. And maybe you've had time to consider whether you really love him."

"Love him?" She whirled about to look at him. That was a mistake, as her heartbeat quickened.

"Well, don't you?"

She flopped herself down on the large case, and folded her arms over her jacket. She wasn't really cold, she had grown used to the climate relatively fast, but the slight hug she gave herself gave her courage to go on.

There was a growing frustration to get out of here, before she fell in love with it and the man in front of her, again. God, was that what was happening? No, she sighed with a heaviness that belied pain, she'd never fallen out of love with Chayton Amory. She had realized it the moment she had heard his voice in that jeep. Still, she had too much pride to admit it to herself. Amory merely wanted to please her father. It was her father, always her father he wanted to please, not her. She wanted independence, and she wouldn't have it with Amory. He was too tied to her father.

Amory hadn't touched her since Tanka and Gina arrived. She supposed she had scared him off. That was good wasn't it?

Damn him for making her care. Damn him for making her feel again. She suddenly cared what he thought of her, where had that thought come from?.

She glanced up at him sadly, as he lit a cheroot and leaned negligently against a tall leggy pine. Here was a man in his element, at home with nature and God. What was not to love about the man? "I guess it's time we had a little talk."

She could do this. She owed him that much.

A brow shot upward as his eyes fell on her, then looked away. "Oh, something on your mind?"

She could no longer sit still. Instead, she paced the snow, making deep little prints as she went. Funny, but the sinking sensation of snow beneath her feet felt like her heavy heart. How could she tell him? What would he think of her? And why did she suddenly care so much what he thought?

"You aren't going to like what I have to say, Amory. But I'd still like you to listen, anyway. Give me a chance to explain. At least as much as I gave you."

He didn't move, didn't bat an eye. Instead, he waited.

"Okay, here goes." She drew in breath, hoisted a false courage and sat back on the suitcase, her legs out straight, her head hung. "I'm sorry."

She waited till that homed in on him.

"Sorry? For what?"

"I realize now how wrong I was to just walk out on you the day before the wedding. Without an explanation. It was very cowardly of me. I know. And I'm glad I've had this opportunity to apologize. For that, I'm sorry."

There was nothing but silence, a cold silence. He waited.

He still didn't move. But his eyes searched and found hers. There was a sudden new tension between them that hadn't been there before. It was as though her admission brought more tension—instead of relief; a different kind of tension. It was as though she had suddenly let down all the barriers, and bared herself to him. The wind grew chilly. The forest more quiet.

"Well?" She finally beseeched him, "aren't you going to say something? Go ahead, shout, yell at me, get mad, something?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Nope," he muttered, and he started towards the cabin.

Kasie felt numbed. That was it? He didn't appreciate her apology?

Appreciate it? He was throwing it back in her face!

Then she ran to catch up with him, halting him and making him face her. "I said, I'm sorry."