Heart of the Wild (23 page)

Kasie sat rather quietly, listening to them talk. She hadn't slept well. There were circles under her eyes, and she hadn't bothered with any make-up. She wanted to impress Margaret, because first impressions were important. She wore the only other dress in her bag, a bright yellow shirtwaist, with big side pockets on each side of the flaring skirt. It felt good to be in a dress again. It made her more confident somehow.

She dabbled with her scrambled eggs though. She wasn't hungry. At least not for food.

"Aren't you hungry?" John asked, eyeing her perceptively.

"N-no, not really."

John glanced at all the ladies around him, cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "I see, well, in that case, I think it's time we had our little talk. If you ladies will excuse us for a while…"

"John, do you think . . ?" Margaret began, a worried look lining her face.

"Don't worry, dear, it will be just fine." He stood up, bent and kissed Margaret on the cheek, and took Kasie by the hand. He led her out onto the long covered wharf behind the lodge. It was a long walk, mostly in silence, but his firm grip of her hand never wavered.

What a spectacular view! The sea looked rough today, the wind blowing cold out of the north.

"Kasie," her father barely uttered her name, turned to look at her, and waited till he had her full attention. "I want to apologize for everything first."

Now Kasie was looking, with disbelief and shock.

"Apologize, father, for what?"

"For everything in your life," he murmured as though his mind had suddenly wandered a million miles away. "For trying to raise a daughter like a boy. That was one of my first and biggest mistakes. For the loneliness you've suffered in that life, leaving you, always leaving you for bigger deals. For your life, Kasie. There's so much to explain. I hardly know where to begin."

"M-my life? Father, what are you talking about?" Kasie's voice was one of concern.

"I should never have left you so much when you were younger. Leaving a child, in a wilderness setting all those years, running off to attend to business so much, while all the time your child is growing up under your nose. But the worst part is, you are a girl. I was wrong. You probably should have been with your mother."

She leaned against the railing of the wharf. "Father, I've made it a rule not to dwell in the past, and you're just going to have to forgive me for being a girl."

"Oh, I agree, it is a fine rule. And in case I've never said it, you're the best part of my life." he cleared his throat and thrust his hands into his pockets of his gabardine slacks. "Let's talk about today and tomorrow."

Kasie shrugged. "Where do we start?"

"With that Springer fellow."

Kasie didn't want to talk about Rick. It was over, and there was no use talking about it. "What about him? He's part of the past."

"Is he? I wonder. Why would you put yourself through that, Kasie? Knowing he might end up a wife-beater from the start, how could you even think to marry such a man, and why?"

"You want the truth?" She looked her father in the eye.

"Absolutely."

"When I learned that you set me and Chay Amory up eight years ago, I had the feeling that there had to be something wrong with me. You had to ask a man to marry me. What I've wanted all along is a man that wanted me for being me, not being John and Ava's daughter."

"But I didn't set it up, Kasie. I've tried to tell you this. I don't know why you would think such a thing. You were a child, and I was glad that someone like Chayton had fallen in love with you, but…"

"I know that now, but not then. I lost respect for myself. In a way, at least. I thought I wasn't good enough, not woman enough. I'd been such a tomboy. And after careful consideration, I understood that no man wanted a tomboy for a wife. I knew nothing of being a woman, father. Under those conditions, I went to stay with mother for a while. I thought I might learn something about it from her."

"But I'm telling you, he was crazy in love with you."

Kasie stopped, refusing to hope any longer that her father's words were true. "If he was, he never said so."

"I don't believe it."

"Ask him sometime."

"I will, by God."

After a long silence John asked. "Who were you made for?"

"God only knows," she said, with a sad chuckle.

After a long silence, he barely touched her elbow to turn her to face him. "Tell me, how did Chay treat you?"

Treat her? How could she possibly answer that question? A few weeks ago she might have told him a few things about his 'son'. But not now. Not after falling so terribly in love with the man again.

"He's a bully," she began.

"Male Chauvinist," her father agreed, with mock indignation.

"That's the word," she said, happy to have him agree with her. At least now he wasn't trying to shove Amory down her throat. "After I got over the shock of what he was pulling, everything smoothed out, I suppose. But it took a while. We fought a lot."

"Really? That's strange, not many people fight with Chay. And was he a gentleman?"

Kasie eyed her father suspiciously. "I thought you said you trusted him."

"I do. But he's a man, and you're a beautiful young lady."

"Nothing happened, if that's what you're getting at," she admitted reluctantly. Nothing except I fell in love with him all over again, she thought quietly. "I'm sure he's glad to be rid of me, I gave him such hell."

John was frowning. "I thought...hoped, it doesn't matter. I just want you to be happy."

"I'm happy," she insisted, knowing it wasn't the truth. She'd never be happy again, because she'd been such a fool and lost the only thing in her life that mattered.

"I'm just sorry I can't spend more time with you. I'll see that you're settled back home, make sure your boss understands the circumstances, and then I'm afraid, I'll have to return to work."

Kasie's heart fell to her stomach. Not only was Chay Amory out of her life, but she had been with her father one day, and he was already talking about leaving her again. She was losing everything that was important to her, and she wasn't sure she could stand it.

"I see, you're just going to drop me off in Texas and be gone again." Her voice became choked and harsh. "After turning my life totally upside down."

John eyed her for a long quiet moment, then put her hand to his lips. "Unless you'd consider coming home with us for a while. We could be a real family. It would give you time to really get to know Margaret. I can tell she's smitten with you. We'd love to have you. The only reason I didn't suggest it first was that you were so insistent on getting back to that job of yours."

A chance to live with her father again. This was what she had wanted for years. But she was a grown woman now, on her own. Could she drop everything and go with her father?

"I don't suppose you could spare me a day or two to make up my mind?"

John nodded slowly. "I suppose I could take off a day or two. It would be worth it, if you'd come home with us."

"Great, besides, I'd kinda of like to find out how Margaret feels about it first."

"She'd be elated, I can assure you."

They walked hand in hand back inside and joined Margaret.

"Well, that didn't take long," Margaret smiled her relief.

John was beaming. "Kasie is considering coming to stay with us for a while. I told her I'd give her a couple of days to decide. Then we'll leave. That means we'll be here for Thanksgiving."

"Oh," Margaret said, as her eyes lit up, and she glanced from one to the other. "How wonderful! We could have such fun, Kasie. I confess, I get a little lonely from time to time with your father gone so much of the time on business. It would be so nice having you with me. We could cook up a storm, and shop, of course, and I've wanted to fix up that middle room for so long. Oh, and Kasie, you'd love it; we live right on the beach. We bought a house on the beach, right near the Oregon, California state line. It is so beautiful in the summer. I know you'd love it."

"Sounds great, but I'll have to do something about my job. I've worked there for the past three years. I do have some vacation time saved up, but after this..."

"Sounds like Kasie has become pretty independent. It's hard to change something like that overnight," Rosie added

"I'm not pushing her, Rosie," John said, trying to stifle a frown, "just trying to persuade her, is all."

At least he would give her time to decide.

~*~

On Thanksgiving morning John sent Kasie a dozen pink roses to her room. He lavished Margaret with red roses and exotic perfume. He sent Rosie a big box of candy that she promptly called to thank him for.

Kasie realized that this was her last day here, and that she had to make a decision soon. Her father was being very attentive and trying every way to persuade her.

The Inn was decorated with all its Thanksgiving finery, and the restaurant was equipped with a huge pumpkin. Holiday songs echoed from the bar downstairs, and there was hustle and bustle all around.

Thanksgiving started out strangely. The snow had begun to thaw a little, and the sun appeared from nowhere. It was a welcome sight to everyone. There were rumors of floods, but so far, they were only rumors.

Kasie jumped out of bed with a start. And even though Chay Amory was on her mind almost constantly since she left the cabin, she was determined not to dwell on him today. No, today was Thanksgiving, it would be a special day she wouldn't forget with her father, Margaret and Rosie.

Rosie was so full of life, she reminded Kasie of Julia.

Kasie managed a quick shower, donned a pair of faded jeans and bright pink shirt then dashed downstairs. She paused long enough to marvel at the oil paintings of some of the captains on the wall lining the hallways. Their weathered faces seem to come right out of the oils. There was a huge, ballroom-like restaurant that hosted a solid oak bar, and a spectacular picture window that covered half a wall looking out to sea. The place was a shrine.

Rosie was inside the big kitchen, tapping her foot to some lively music and humming. When she spotted Kasie, she invited her in. "Come on in, darlin'."

"My, do you cook here, too?"

"Nearly everyone cooks here, from one time to another. But on Thanksgiving and Christmas, we all do."

"Can I help?"

"Of course you can. Grab an apron from the last cabinet on the bottom there, and wash those giblets and set them on the fire for me," Rosie suggested, as though used to giving instructions..

"This is all so wonderful, Rosie. I wish mother and I could have done things like this together."

"And why couldn't you?" Rosie asked, surprised by her remark. Obviously, Rosie didn't know her mother.

"You don't know my mother. She isn't the type to 'slave in a kitchen' all day. My mother is an actress."

"Ah yes, I've seen her on screen. And a very good one, too," Rosie added, with a twinkle in her eyes. "I met her once, only briefly. She's a beautiful woman. She carries herself lik the old style movie stars. I rather like that."

"Yes, she's very good at what she does, I'll admit. But she's not very domesticated, Rosie."

"What a shame for you."

"Maybe, but the only one I ever cooked with was Julia, our nanny. Every now and then, when she didn't have a big party to prepare for, she'd let me come in the kitchen and help with things. I loved it. Miss it."

"It sounds like you were very close to this Julia?"

"Very."

Rosie didn't pry any further.

Kasie glanced at the full table of food, and laughed. "Goodness, someone must have started weeks ago."

"More like a month, darlin', wait until you see the freezer," Rosie said with a laugh. "We'll have a mountain of food, but don't you worry, the way these men eat around here, there won't be a lot of leftovers, believe me."

"Do the Captains and their families really come?"

"All that are in port do. It's a tradition, of sorts. I think it started because the men were out to sea most of the time, and the one holiday they always seemed to come home for was Thanksgiving. And they hadn't seen their neighbors or friends. The Inn has over the years become an important gathering place for holidays. This way, they can be with their families and their friends. "