My Blue Eyes (18 page)

    “I don’t know.  With everything I had happen in my life the past few years I was just drained.  It’s not like I was ever with anyone else since the first night we were together.  Maybe I was afraid of falling in love and losing you.  I honestly can’t give you a certain answer.  I love you so much now though.  I’m surprised you stayed with me for so long knowing how I felt.”
     She laughed, “Darrel I would have stayed with you for as long as it took.  The first time I saw you across the room at that party, I knew I was going to love you.  It took you long enough to come talk to me.”
     I chuckled, “I thought you were too hot and way out of my league.”
     She blushed, “Whatever.  I do think a girl has broken your heart.  It must have happened just before you came to school here.  Who was she?”
     “I don’t want to talk about that.”
     “Oh come on Darrel.  I’m a big girl.  I know you love me.  I promise I won’t be jealous.”
     I proceeded to tell her about Mary.  Truth is, I hadn't even thought about her for quite some time.  Usually when I started talking about her, I got the queasiest feeling in my stomach.  It didn't happen this time.  I told her everything about her.  I told her about how much I couldn't stand her when we first got paired up and how she grew on me over time.  How I fell in love with her and how special she was.  I talked about all the times she broke down and having to leave for weeks at a time.  How she moved to Minnesota for treatment.  When she came back for my mom’s funeral and that being the first time we ever slept together.  And how she promised me not to try and contact her.  I told Amy I never attempted to since I left.
     “Do you still love her?” she asked.
     “I mean, there will always be a part of me that loves her.”  I looked over at Amy as I placed my hand on the side of her face.  “There is a big difference between loving someone and being in love with them.  I’m in love with you.  She is my past and you’re my future and there is no other place I want to be.”
     I pulled her in for a kiss and then one thing led to another.  Yes, we did break in the truck that night.  There in that silent parking lot of what used to be a church.
     We finally arrived back at her house.  As we pulled up the drive, her dad had the crew kick the snow machine into high gear.  It reminded me of back home as the snow hit my windshield.  It was beautiful.  Amy and I proceeded to throw snow balls at each other as I chased her around, tackling her in the wet snow.  As I got up I slipped and heard that dreadful pop in my knee.  I grimaced in pain as Amy noticed.
     “Oh no Darrel.  Did you hurt your knee again?”
     I shook my head pretending to hide the pain, “I’m fine Amy.  It was just a little twinge.”
      We walked inside as I tried to conceal my limp with every step.  The rest of the time spent at her house was uncomfortable.  I tried my best to hide it.  I always had a high pain tolerance, but this hurt.  
     The drive back to Tuscaloosa was a pain in the ass.  I accepted the truck, and we both drove our own cars back.  Once back, I met with our head trainer and told him what happened.  We had it looked at and I screwed it up again.  All the rehab I done to be ready for the season was for not.  I would have to start over.  
     I went back to my dorm where Matt and Carly were watching a movie.  They knew something was wrong as I laid on my bed and covered my head with my blanket.  They tried to talk to me but I told them I just wanted to sleep.  It was four in the afternoon and I slept the rest of the day and night.  Sleeping was the only thing which could keep my mind off the thought of not being able to play this year or ever again.  Rehab was hard, and I didn't want to do it again.
Chapter 42

     
I spent the next few weeks holed up in my room feeling sorry for myself.  Amy was pretty torn up about my setback and took responsibility.  I tried to tell her it wasn't her fault.  She was there with me every day.  Thanks to Amy’s encouragement, I reluctantly took to the grueling schedule of rehabbing my knee.  
      I think coach knew what my outcome would be.  I had so much promise before the injury.  This was my third surgery in such a short period of time.  The only thing I wanted to do, was make it back in time for the conference championships and possibly a berth in the College World Series.  Our team had high expectations this year and anything but the series would be a disappointment.
     Once the season had started, Matt was supplanted as the everyday second baseman by a junior college transfer.  He wasn't too disappointed.  He knew he wasn't going to play after college and just enjoyed being part of the team.  He went from a walk-on to the starting second baseman for a big time division one school.  He had a lot to be proud of.
     Sitting out my junior year during the spring was so much harder than sitting out the fall.  Coach allowed me to attend all the away games.  I guess you could have considered me a part of the coaching staff.  I think I helped out quite a bit.  Coach always told me how appreciative he was with me helping out, even though I was injured.  My main expertise was hitting, so I stuck with that.  I could tell there was an improvement with the younger guys.  Most of them came into the season with the same bad mechanics they had in high school.  As I found out my first year, division one ball is a lot tougher than high school ball.  If you failed to make the necessary adjustments, you were doomed.  Like I said in previous chapters, every pitcher you faced was the best pitcher for their high school team.  And you faced this day in, and day out.
     This was the one thing Matt never made the adjustment on.  God given talent will only take you so far.  If you fail to put in the necessary work, you are doomed.  I made it a point to increase my bat speed so I could catch up with the pitchers.  I taught this to the younger guys and they really grasped the concept.  Matt never tried, and now he had a place comfortably on the bench next to me.  He would play from time to time.  Usually as a late inning defensive replacement.  Even though his bat speed was poor, he made up for it with his stellar defensive skills.

     My rehab progressed pretty well this time.  By the last week in April, I was given clearance to start some light work.  I continued to feel a twinge in my knee from time to time and compensated by putting more work on my good knee.  After a week or so, I started getting swelling in my right knee.  The doctor told me it was common and put me on an ice regimen.  By the beginning of May, I talked the medical staff and coach into letting me give it a try.  Everyone knew it was too much of a risk.  I begged coach.  I asked him to just let me play in the conference tournament and this would be it.  We all knew my baseball career was coming to an end.  He reluctantly agreed.
     I was allowed to pinch hit in the very first game.  We had a substantial lead, so he felt it was no big deal if I got on and clogged up the bases.  My first at-bat back, I hit a double to right center field.  I labored around first and made it into second standing up.  I later scored on a double off the wall.  It felt good to be back.
     The second game I had a more substantial role.  Coach liked the at-bat I took pinch hitting and put me in the six hole as the designated hitter.  I promptly went three for four with five runs batted in.  We won this game rather easily as well.  This would place us into the semifinals with a shot at going to the championship and increasing our chances of making the series. 
     Amy’s parents heard my first full game went well, so they made the three hour trip to Hoover, Alabama where the tournament was being held.  It was good to see them.  I had only seen them a handful of times since I spent the week with them.  They would come to see Amy and we would all go out for a family dinner.  I enjoyed spending time with them.  Not just because they gave me the truck, because they felt like family.

     Coach had me penciled in the number six hole again as the designated hitter.  It was a nail biter against Florida.  They were the number two seed and we were the number one.  If we lost this game, we still had a chance to come back and win the tournament since it was double elimination.  The pitcher they threw against us was a top twenty draft pick from that year’s major league draft.  He threw in the mid-nineties with a terrific change up.  He had us off balance the whole game.  There is no better pitch to have in your arsenal then an outstanding change up.  I was able to get to him a couple of times for weak singles up the middle.  Each time, I was stranded on first.  If my knee was one hundred percent, there is no doubt in my mind I could have stolen second and third off him.  The flood gates finally opened in their favor in the seventh inning when they scored all seven of their runs.  The next two innings we managed to score three runs, but wound up losing the game by four.  This put us in the loser’s bracket set to face Kentucky.
     Kentucky was the six seed. We played them the first game and beat them rather easily.  This game was much the same.  We jumped on them early and never let them get back into the game.  Matt started this game and was actually the offensive most valuable player going five for five with six runs batted in.  I didn't have one of my better games, going one for three with a pair of walks.  This would set us up to play Florida again, and a chance at advancing to the College World Series.  We would need to beat them twice to win it all.

     You could say the first game we played them was a “give me” game.  Their pitcher was definitely not a regular in their rotation.  We jumped on him early like the previous game we had played against Kentucky.  We wound up winning by eight.  I had my best game of the tournament to date.  I went three for five with two home runs and five runs batted in.  My knee was holding up for the most part, even though after every game I had them covered in ice.  This had become part of my normal routine.  We had set ourselves up nicely for the championship game.  
     The training staff evaluated my knee and strongly recommended I not play the next game.  As I arrived in the dugout for the game, coach had someone else penciled in as the designated hitter.  I begged and I pleaded to play, but he wasn't budging.  He told me if the game was close, he would possibly put me in as a pinch hitter.  I wanted to cry right there.  I had worked so hard to get back, even going against the advice of the medical staff.  Coach said it was too risky and he wanted me coming back strong after we win and make the series.  I tried to reason with him.  He knew this was the game we needed to win to even make it.  He just shook his head no and said he was not going to jeopardize my health at the advice of the medical staff.  I was heartbroken to say the least.  

     Florida jumped on us early scoring three runs in the top of the first.  We responded with one in the first and four in the fifth to give us a five to three lead going into the top of the sixth.  The sixth would remain scoreless while Florida added two more in the top of the seventh and two in the eight giving them a seven to five lead heading into the bottom of the eighth.  We cut the lead to one thanks to Matt’s sacrifice fly to deep center field.  The score was now seven to six.  We held them scoreless in the top of the ninth and were coming down to our final half inning, needing one to tie and two to win.  Our first batter struck out swinging after a questionable check swing.  Coach was livid and almost was ejected from the game.  Our next batter walked and advanced to scoring position after a passed ball by their catcher.  Here we were in the bottom of the ninth, one out and a runner on second.  Our next batter hit a soft grounder to the second baseman, which allowed our runner to easily make it to third.  Two outs, runner on third, still down by one.  I sat and watched, hopeful that coach would put me in.  As our batter made his way to the batter box, I heard coach yell his name.  He looked at me and told me to get a bat.  I was pinch hitting.  
     I had been holding a bat in my hand the entire game, so I felt as though my arms were pretty loose.  I got up and did a quick stretch and then grabbed the lead donut to take a couple of practice swings.  Once I was done, I pounded the handle on the ground as the donut slid off.  I made my way to the batter’s box as I called time so I could get the proper footing.  I had my right leg dug into the dirt and took a couple of light practice swings as I waited for the pitch.  I jumped on the first pitch and fouled it straight back.  The swing felt good and I was right on him.  The second pitch was the same thing.  I took a good swing and again fouled the ball straight back.  I was definitely in a pitcher’s count down two strikes with no balls.  The next pitch was a breaking ball that bounced right in front of home plate.  The catcher made an awesome play preventing our runner from scoring on a wild pitch.  The next ball was low and inside.  “Two balls, two strikes” the umpire bellowed.  As I dug into the box, I had a flash back to my last high school game.  It felt eerily similar.  I had just missed winning that game and hoped this wouldn't be a repeat.  The next pitch was an inside fastball that I got around on and fouled it deep down the left field line.  The ball felt good coming off the bat.  I had hit it on the sweet spot, but just got out in front a little too much.  I dug in once again and waited for him to come set.  He kicked his leg up into the air and let go of the pitch.  I could see the ball spinning as it headed for me.  It had too much spin.  He hung a curveball over the inside part of the plate.  I reared back and slightly lifted my left leg and planted it in the dirt as I took a mighty cut.  I connected on the sweet part of the bat and could hear the lovely ping and watched the ball fly.  I gingerly trotted down the first base line continuing to watch the ball.  It was gone.  The dugout erupted and ran onto the field standing around home plate waiting for me to round the bases.  
     The feeling was pure unadulterated joy as I put my right fist in the air rounding first.  As I was getting close to second I took a glance towards home to observe my teams’ jubilation.  By doing this, I took my eye of the bag and just caught the outside corner of the bag with my right foot.  This caused me to stumble and when my left leg planted in the dirt, I heard the sound I prayed I would never hear again.  My knee had popped.  I stopped for a brief second as I tried to regain my composure.  I put my weight down on my left knee and it just buckled causing me to fall to the ground.  If it wasn't for the pain, I would have been completely embarrassed.  I looked at coach and he knew immediately what had happened.  He wanted to run out on the field, but was uncertain what the rule was for an injured player after hitting a home run.  The second base ump came to me and asked how bad it was.  I told him my knee was shot.  He too didn't know if he could help me up as he stood over me telling me this.  Florida had already exited the field.  I felt like I was on an island with no one to help.  The crowd and my teammates went from pure joy to not knowing what would happen if I couldn't make it.  I got to my feet as the rest of the umps had gathered around me hurriedly checking through the rule book on whether I could have help or a pinch runner.  I wasn't waiting.  I hopped on my right leg to third base as coach stood there waiting.  Still not knowing the ruling he walked right beside me, encouraging me to make it home.  I made it to home where I collapsed on home plate and was quickly raised up by my teammates and carried to our dugout.  We were going to the College World Series, and my baseball career was over.
Chapter 43